Science > Psychopaths at Home, at work, and in the Garden

Psychopath Victim Support Groups

(1/6) > >>

soon2be:
I read much on line about the narc/psychopathic personality and it has shocked me that anyone could even remotely know how I feel.  I lived a reality for 10 years and only at the last found out that my entire reality was a lie.  I have lived in the wake of that for 3 1/2 years now and have never even spoken to anyone (counselors etc.) that can even remotely comprehend what I lived through.  They just shake their heads and tell me that I should write a book or go on Oprah.  I get on-line and read articles like "between devalued and discarded".   I need healing, I need validation, I need to learn to trust again.  I am 48, and that is too young to be so terrified of love.  Where are these support groups that I hear about?

Laura:
Unfortunately, the ones I have checked out on the web have already been infiltrated or taken over by psychopaths so that they don't really do anything positive.  I've even caught one of the major players stealing my stuff, not giving credit or links back to our site.  The only reason I can think of for that is that maybe we just go a bit "too far" for their tastes.  We actually try to provide truly thoughtful insight and information.

The one thing I have learned, after having been stalked by a psychopathic cyber-terrorist for the past five years, is that learning everything you can about the problem is the first step to healing.  Right now I am finishing up the editing of Lobaczewski's book, Ponerology.  This book has done more to help put the pieces together than anything I have ever read.  It will be available soon.  

So if you've read all the material on our site about psychopathy, available from the sitemap link at the top of the SOTT page, and the books from which many of the excerpts were extracted, you will be well on your way to healilng.

We will also be putting all of our combined learning and experience together in a single volume to come out later this year.

Cricket:
I read this reply by Laura when it was posted and back then I wanted to make a comment about the so called "experts", but I didn't.
This night I was talking with my parents about Doctor's stories. My sister has got one of those rocks which accumulates on the organic system and the Dr. she went to see adviced surgery as the only way to remove this rock. MY sister was infuriated since she (and me, and all) have heard there are ways to dissolve this rocks and went to see another Dr. and yes, she is on treatment now to dissolve that problem, and no surgery!
Tonight chat was about this and several other stories about how Doctors are, most of them (and this was the first sad fact to the conversation, that most of them are like this), how most of them see their patients as sources for income, and only that, so they order surgery at the lesser provocation, charging of course as much money as they can. On other ocassions, they keep the patient ill, to keep that income. On other times, they provoke a illness where there was none, to have a steady client.
It is my opinion and experience many "experts" behave like that and, actually, many call their selfs "experts" to access people's trust. This is due to the faith we have on the "experts" -they solve our problems.
Or so we think.
Or so it should be.
Your car does not responds? Ther washing machine is acting funny? Is your computer "traumatized" is some way? Do you suffer of strange itches or pains here and/or there? Well, call a expert and PUF! Problem solved.
Most particulary about the subject discussed on theis thread:

--- Quote from: soon2be ---Where are these support groups that I hear about?
--- End quote ---
Where are the experts for such a traumatic experiences like the ones soon2be reports has been suffering? Well, they are everywhere, but as Laura mentions:

--- Quote from: Laura ---Unfortunately, the ones I have checked out on the web have already been infiltrated or taken over by psychopaths so that they don't really do anything positive.
--- End quote ---
.... or, the very same "experts" ARE their self Psycopaths.
MOST PARTICULARY on the field of psycological abuse or soul related problems, because it is the easiest field to fake "expertice" and, on falling on the claws of one of this "experts", one is up for a ride.
The main idea i want to convey is the "Do it your self" message. That is what MANY "experts" do as to have enough information as to deceive the traumatized person seeking help.
We only need knowledge. Thus, Laura's advice is trully the way to go, and not only as a first step! It is the way to go as a second, third, fourth step to then venture to the localization, if by then needed, of a expert -once we have accumulated enough information and knowledge and understanding as to, fortunatelly, get to the point where we would NOT need a "expert".
I have done this on many many times and this is always my first approach: To study the subject. And I have succeded on many many times! I even ended up once giving advice to an "expert"!
And I have been succesful PARTICULARY on soul or psicological issues: No one knows better about a particular psicology than that particular psicology.
Same with washing machines: Fixed.
Same with computer: Fixed.
Same with my inner world: Have achieved information and knowledge as to get to comprehend it.
And what we will find out is what a descent expert would advice for our problem! The line between experts and non-experts... is knowledge.
The faked experts I am talking about, use both the knowledge available, and the lack of knowledge present on the patient/subject.
I calculate that 80% of our problems requiring the asistance of a "expert", CAN be solved by our selfs.
Conclussion: We give way too much faith to the experts (or Support Groups), when we CAN be the experts of our selfs! We trust too much on the "experts" JUST because they call their selfs "experts" and ONLY because of that!
Disclaimer: Not ALL experts are a fake and not ALL problems can be solved by the one suffering them. We most evaluate the problem, the expert.... and our selfs BEFORE seeking the help of an expert. We will be pleasantly rewarded time after time!
Or so I think.

soon2be:
I have indeed been taking Laura's advice and have taken some comfort in some of what I am discovering.  I have studied in the past quite a bit about this personality type but what has been lacking is what of the individuals left shattered in the wake of a relationship with them.  That is where my help is coming.  To realize the difference in the grieving process and where I am at in it and that it is normal!  To discover the basic personality type that these individuals target and how far removed from that type I am now now, though I wasn't then.  These are the things that give me hope of one day being able to trust again.  These are the things that tell me I am on the road to healing.
Thank you

anart:

--- Quote from: soon2be ---These are the things that give me hope of one day being able to trust again.  These are the things that tell me I am on the road to healing.
--- End quote ---
It has been my experience that learning how these people operate goes a long way toward feeling like I can trust myself and my own impressions enough to trust others again.  Basically, I was so blown away by the results of my relationship with a psychopath that I didn't trust myself at all.  I even went through a period of literally being too embarrassed about what happened to me to be honest about it with other people.  Once I started to learn that what happened to me was not only not uncommon, but that there were very real, identifiable mechanisms behind it, a huge weight lifted and I started to breath again.  I think you will find that arming yourself with knowledge about how these people work/see themselves/see you, that you will feel the same strength grow inside.  Be patient with yourself and try to view your learning as protection and fuel for progress.

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page