The Unexplained > The Dead and the Un-dead
Experienced a creature suck on me
Aiming:
Just shortly want to share the following and ask for some input.
The night before last I was sleeping and dreaming, seeing myself lying outside my front door - which was strange, because it indicated to me a pretty unprotected condition. My mother came up to me talking to me in her 'attack mode' (times when she simply attacks another, drains them).
Next thing was, I found myself back in my bed and had a creature lying on top of me. I had no fear, but was surprised. It had a human form, but the head seemed like only having a mouth. I grabbed for its arm and it was solid like my own. I then realized it was sucking on my neck with great pleasure, at the very spot where stories tell that vampires suck the blood out of their victims.
I suddenly became very angry and pushed the creature away, woke up and continued to angrily shout into the room: "Get away from me, get away from here!!!" I had no fear, only rage and indignation and I was deeply appalled at the lust it had while sucking on my neck.
I then recited The Prayer of the Soul and shortly afterwards did the Breathing Program. This all happened around 3 a.m.
When it was happening I think I've reacted correctly by fighting it (having in mind Laura's attacks and how she countered it by mere will power). But then, the next day came feelings of deep shock and I had to cry.
Now I figured that what I experienced was something that might have been there all along, draining me regularly, only it was the first time for me to experience/see it. Though I could be wrong.
I just wonder: were my actions enough, have I indeed reacted correctly, or is there anything else I need to do?
This night, for example, I woke up several times, then looked around whether the creature was there again. At other times I felt a tingling sensation at the spot it had sucked on me and I thought it was there again and I just couldn't see it. So I vehemently pushed it away "with my energy", if that makes sense.
Furthermore I'm still feeling that spot on my neck, as if there was a wound.
RedFox:
It sounds like you had a very shocking experience puzzle.....I've had similar ones myself that I have posted about.
--- Quote from: Puzzle ---When it was happening I think I've reacted correctly by fighting it (having in mind Laura's attacks and how she countered it by mere will power).
--- End quote ---
Absolutely!!!
--- Quote from: Puzzle ---But then, the next day came feelings of deep shock and I had to cry.
--- End quote ---
Be kind on yourself, but realise that dealing with the shock of this may take some time.
--- Quote from: Puzzle ---I just wonder: were my actions enough, have I indeed reacted correctly, or is there anything else I need to do?
This night, for example, I woke up several times, then looked around whether the creature was there again. At other times I felt a tingling sensation at the spot it had sucked on me and I thought it was there again and I just couldn't see it. So I vehemently pushed it away "with my energy", if that makes sense.
Furthermore I'm still feeling that spot on my neck, as if there was a wound.
--- End quote ---
Having had to deal with this sort of thing (and I may be mistaken) but pushing it away with your energy may not be the best thing to do (please somebody correct me if I'm wrong here). It could be that it feeds off the energy you use to push it with (send towards it).
Recently I've realised that 'holding firm' (energetically/mentally) may be the best block to it.....but this is just my impression given it can be such an intangible subject.
I recently posted this that may be of help....
--- Quote from: RedFox on October 05, 2009, 02:15:48 PM ---I'd like to expand on a past observation I had....
--- Quote from: Gawan on August 20, 2009, 11:54:31 PM ---
--- Quote from: RedFox ---Last night was quite interesting. I did a set of pipe breathing followed by the prayer before sleep. I woke up at 3.45am needing the toilet, I also noticed that I had an intense sense of fear (the sort that makes the hair stand up on the back of your neck and shivers go up your spine) of the dark. I'm not normally afraid of the dark, however this has happened quite a bit in the past at anywhere between 2am and 4am on certain days of the week - mostly Wednesday nights (I have a working hypothesis it may be 4D STS related....but its only a hypothesis).
So on returning to bed (and generally getting quite annoyed at the 'fear' from nowhere) I did a full set of pipe breathing (with my eyes open), followed by the prayer of the soul (with the aim of repeating it 12 times).
For some reason I was able to do it more clearly than I've been able to do it before (perhaps this is to do with tiredness then?). I did zone out a few times, and came back (like I've done with the audio) to find that I'd moved on a few words/a complete sentence! Now that's truly weird.....usually if I zone out and I'm doing it I stop saying it internally....but this time part of me carried on while another part of me zoned out.
--- End quote ---
Something similar happened maybe two weeks ago, while I have been doing the beatha part of the full program. I started to be (really) afraid and didn't know from where and what, it just felt strange. Later on I made some notes in my journal and considered, that fear is also a feeling, not a positive one but still a feeling and said to me, when it is happening next time, I try to watch and accept it... Couple of days later, a similar feeling reoccurred also during the beatha-part, and I "saw" critters and monsters and thought to hear noises out of the kitchen (but that's a part I'm not sure if I really heard something).
And since then my mind is a little bit boggling, also of the reason because I'm at the present time alone at home.
But I try to remember your posted quote next time!
--- Quote ---Now, here's the kicker: if the displeasing feeling is coming from within the self - if the self finds that there is rage or anger or hate or jealousy or pettiness or whatever is considered negative - when a person is operating from the primitive defense mechanism, that feeling must be denied as part of the self and will be experienced as coming from "out there." (Projection.)
--- End quote ---
--- End quote ---
Well I had a revisit from this sensation last night. I payed strict attention to it as best I could and was able to pick out a few things....
I managed to allow my fear to be there and acknowledged it, and kept it below my neck (i.e. allowed it to be but not run my thoughts).
So after unpicking it some more and breathing deeply and slowly something interesting happened....I could sense two things instead of one....my fear and something external in my environment triggering it. A sense of being watched (having someone stood behind you).
I rechecked and checked and could see a distinct line between my fear and an external trigger. That's not to say I wasn't mistaken but it was definitely not in the 'unsure whats causing it' category any more.
I kept getting the thought reoccur with this that 'someones in the house' or 'theres someone stood there' when I was looking at nothing. Real 'intruder' senses tingling. The sense of feeling that if I opened the bathroom door there would be 'something' stood there that would get me. All the while I was deep breathing I thought about this logically...
If there is something there what would I do....I mentally bopped it on the nose and promptly burst out laughing. Heck I'd had enough of it. I would most definitely defend myself if there was an intruder (I should note that the intruders in my minds eye where not the human kind). So I stopped again and thought with as much logic as possible...
Sense of intruder.....fear thoughts/programs poked....focusing time/energy onto these thoughts/loops....nothing there. If my senses where correct and there was 'something' there then there was only one thing it could be (4D STS) and it must be there to feed off this. A directed attack.....well that sure had an interesting effect. It felt like I'd finally closed a door that had been left open far too long.
If it was in my head and my senses where faulty then it was still a waste of energy. The idea of it being an attack with the aim to feed from me....combined with not being afraid of feeling my fear and to defend myself should I have to stopped the whole thing dead.
I went to bed and followed the prayer section of the program and had one of the most relaxed nights sleep in years.....these fearful feelings have plagued me on and off for most of my life....so it is like a huge weight is leaving me. :)
I dreamt of standing under a tree whilst someone in a yellow digger/crane tried to knock the tree whilst I wasn't looking (I told him to not do so)...and eventually did so whilst I where. They extended a grapple on the machine towards something past the tree...it had a rope on the end that it was going to hook something with. So I swung a branch of the tree and timed it so that the rope from the machine wrapped round and stuck on the branch. The look of frustration on the guy running the machine was priceless as it ground to a halt and he had to get out and 'go untangle it'.....I told him he shouldn't have tried, I had told him not to and I would stop him if he did so again.
All that being said mind, I do hope I'm not sailing into a trap of my own wishful thinking here... :lol:
--- End quote ---
Be aware that the doubts may be part of how it gets to be so close....
--- Quote from: puzzle ---Furthermore I'm still feeling that spot on my neck, as if there was a wound.
--- End quote ---
Yup, had things like that happen to me too. It does fade with time.
fwiw I hope the above helps.....this is still kind of an ongoing thing with me to some extent, so if anyone else has any input/observations on the subject I'd appreciate them too.
Ana:
--- Quote from: RedFox on October 06, 2009, 01:51:27 PM ---Having had to deal with this sort of thing (and I may be mistaken) but pushing it away with your energy may not be the best thing to do (please somebody correct me if I'm wrong here). It could be that it feeds off the energy you use to push it with (send towards it).
Recently I've realised that 'holding firm' (energetically/mentally) may be the best block to it.....but this is just my impression given it can be such an intangible subject.
--- End quote ---
What you are describing seems to fit very well with Mental Blocking technique:
http://glossary.cassiopaea.com/glossary.php?id=962&lsel=M
--- Quote from: Cassiopaea glossary ---
The core idea of mental blocking is to assert one's position and the nature of one's being. This may take many forms. The idea is a spiritual one for which we do not have direct terms or perception, thus we look at it through the example of everyday confrontations.
One aspect of the idea is not to be drawn into the attacker's “world” via curiosity, desire to change the world or the attacker, emotional hooks, self-importance or the like.
Another aspect is to be internally certain and undivided. In a
confrontation, the attacking party generally expects some reaction, either aggression or backing out. In some cases, mental blocking can take the form of giving no response or an entirely unexpected response. The main idea is not to play by the same playbook as the adversary, thus breaking out of a pattern of expected reactions.
Knowledge of a special kind may itself be a form of protection. Since the battle concerns one's “soul” or FRV, having drawn one's circle and standing firm in it may preempt attack. Human knowledge is never absolutely certain or complete, but knowledge through choice to apply it may become something of a different quality. Information is converted into being by the process of commitment. Mental blocking is not a matter of “true belief” but rather
of asserting one's choice also wile faced with attack. This is generally not an aggressive stance, since attack often expects an aggressive response.
Acting as a group may be important to the process. A single individual may be worn down by continuously defending one's position, also a group may focus “higher energies” more effectively than an individual. This is not a case of mob mentality but of strength in unity of purpose. An isolated
individual's mode of thinking and perceiving may more readily be shifted to match the attacker's, thus diminishing the STO alignment of the attacked.
--- End quote ---
RedFox:
Thanks for that Ana I didn't know it existed as an entry on there :)
More from the same...
--- Quote ---In the case of mental blocking, the point is to preserve one's own nature, not to adopt that of the attacker. This is not always applicable to physical 3D conflict. We may think that in the context of higher densities, one's FRV, or polarity along the STO/STS axis determines one's strength and the realm one occupies. Deviating from one's chosen polarity represents loss. Sometimes the battle may be a "staring down contest," sometimes it may not occur at all if the antagonists are naturally kept separate by their different natures.
Writings of mystics of the monastic traditions describe something like mental blocking when discussing the spiritual attacks confronted by the monks. The devils seek to confuse, to alternatingly flatter and to induce despair. The defense is not in arguing or engaging but in simultaneously acknowledging that the self is weak yet stands firm in giving thanks and glory to God, regardless of temptation or concern for self. The general advice not to talk to apparitions concerns this.
--- End quote ---
I think mentally holding firm and possibly reciting the prayer of the soul or 'Davine conscious mind, live in me now' would be applicable. Reciting the prayer would reaffirm your intentions to be STO aligned if done truthfully and not out of fear......acting out of fear would be more STS in nature as such it would probably feed off that.
To acknowledge the self is weak, would be in effect making yourself aware that you have faults that can be hooked/pushed/manipulated into making you think/act more in alignment with the STS force.....directing anger at it for example would give it energy......experiencing anger but 'keeping it below the neck' probably would not. Giving it attention may even feed it, being aware of it but focusing the attention elsewhere (onto the self/breathing/prayer etc) would probably not feed it.
To act from ego/arrogance 'you can't hurt me!' point of view would probably also feed it. Acknowledging it could feed and sticking to the above guidance would probably mitigate it.
Wow, that's really useful! I have had so many puzzle pieces falling into place recently its fantastic! :)
Ha! It feels almost like fashioning mental plate armour.
clerck de bonk:
--- Quote from: RedFox on October 06, 2009, 03:57:45 PM ---Wow, that's really useful! I have had so many puzzle pieces falling into place recently its fantastic! :)
Ha! It feels almost like fashioning mental plate armour.
--- End quote ---
It is true(from my frogperspective anyway), very true. You are one among many I have noticed excelling lately...
Careful now... ;D
Gotta start that EE-thing or I'll be "late"&%/&&%¤
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