Squatting, the Best Toilet Posture

Masamune

Jedi Council Member
According to this website there are many benefits of using the squatting posture compared to the sitting posture when evacuating the bowels.

Toilet-Related Ailments

We Ignore Squatting
At Our Peril...


The best posture for passing stools is squatting. In this position, waste elimination is easier, faster and complete.

Sitting, on the other hand, obstructs the passage of waste through the colon. Elimination is difficult, requires straining and can never be complete...

Many people today remain unaware that their sitting toilet pose a danger to their health and well-being.

In his book, A Guide to Better Bowel Care: A Complete Program for Tissue Cleansing Through Bowel Management, chiropractic physician and nutritionist Dr Bernard Jensen identified the sitting toilet as a health threat to mankind:

"It is my sincere belief that one of the bowel's greatest enemies in civilized society is the ergonomic nightmare known as the toilet or john."




To understand why squatting is better than sitting, one just need to have a basic understanding of how the colon works...from the point where food leaves the stomach...



colon, colon system From the stomach, food (all mixed and ready) goes into the small intestine where nutrients are absorbed. The food wastes then goes into the large intestine or colon. When it enters the colon, it is in a liquid state.

However, as it moves through the colon, water is continuously extracted, and it turns into solid waste (stools) by the time it reaches the rectum. It is then passed out through the anus.

It is crucial that the colon can perform its role efficiently and effectively. All waste must be evacuated on a regular basis to avoid the build up of toxins. For this to happen, one must adopt the squatting position.

1) Increased Abdominal Pressure

In the natural squatting position, the entire weight of the body rests on the feet, and the thighs are pressed against the abdomen.

This creates a beneficial pressure in the abdominal cavity, which compresses the colon, creates a natural urge to evacuate and helps force waste out of the body.

But there is more...

2) Protection of Appendix and Small Intestine

The colon - which comprises the cecum, ascending colon, transverse colon, descending colon, sigmoid colon, rectum and anus - is connected to the small intestine through the ileocecal valve.


The ileocecal valve acts as a one-way valve. It allows food wastes in the small intestine to enter the colon, but prevents fecal waste in the colon from leaking into the small intestine.

In the squatting position, the right thigh – pressing on the right side of the abdomen – squeezes the pouch-like cecum and force liquid waste upwards into the ascending colon and away from the appendix.

Hence, in the squatting position, the ileocecal valve is sealed securely, and both the appendix and small intestine are kept clean.


3) Release of Bend in Sigmoid Colon

sigmoid colon The colon also a kink or bend where the sigmoid colon joins to the rectum.

In the squatting position, the left thigh – pressing on the left side of the abdomen – supports and lifts up the sigmoid colon. This raising of the sigmoid colon opens up the kink to allow waste to flow easily into the rectum.


4) Straightening of Final Pathway

Just as there is an inlet valve (the ileocecal valve), there is also an outlet valve in the colon: the puborectalis muscle.

In the sitting position, the puborectalis muscle grips the rectum in a 'choked' position to maintain continence (prevent accidental release of stools from the anus).

In the squatting position, it relaxes its grip so that the pathway to the anus is straightened, to allow waste to pass out freely and easily.
sitting vs squatting
Truly, our colon is a marvel of nature!

The Case Against Sitting Toilets

By forcing users to sit instead of squat, the sitting toilet ignores ALL the natural requirements for effective waste evacuation:

1) Without pressure from the right and left thighs, no intra-abdominal pressure is created to facilitate expulsion of waste...

2) Without the action of the right thigh, there is no squeezing action to direct waste upwards and away from the appendix and small intestine...

3) Without the action of the left thigh, the natural bend between the sigmoid colon and rectum is not released...

4) The pathway between the rectum and anus is not straightened...

The outcome is obvious: difficult in passing stools. In frustration, one has to strain while holding the breath in order to 'push' downwards with the diaphragm (Valsalva Maneuver) in order to evacuate waste.

Yet, in spite of all the straining, the colon cannot be emptied completely.

Sadly, the impact of sitting toilets on young children is more serious.

When a tall adult uses a sitting toilet, his feet rest on the floor and his thighs are raised upwards at a slight angle and brought nearer to his abdomen and chest. He can also easily bend his chest forward to bring it closer to his thighs.

(Comment: This action to close the distance between the abdomen and thighs is not the same - or does not bring the benefits - as the full natural squatting position. But it is not as bad as the totally upright sitting position.)

But for young children who have shorter legs, the story is different. With their legs hanging over the toilet bowl and feet not touching the floor, they don't have any leverage to raise their thighs or bend their chest forward easily.

As a result, their colon is left totally unsupported.

It is worth noting that toddlers would instinctively squat, if sitting potties/toilets and well-meaning adults don't come into the picture.

Have Interesting Personal Experiences or Stories About Squatting? Share Them With Visitors!

What You Can Do... If You Want To Squat?

The best way, if you want to adopting the squatting position for your bowel movements, is to install a squat toilet. But check with your plumber if this can be done.

If installing a squatting toilet is not feasible, you could consider 'converting' your sitting toilet into a squatting type, by using a toilet squatting platform.

Book Recommendation

book about squatting, Nature Knows Best
If you like to know more about the benefits of squatting, I would recommend that you read Nature Knows Best, the first and only book on squatting in print today.

[Click here to find out more about Nature Knows Best...]

Twelve Most Commonly Asked Questions About Squatting

Like many who first came across information on this site, you may have many questions about squatting or what you can do about it. These questions -- and the answers -- can be summarised into twelve types/themes, as follows:

1. If squatting is so natural and important for health, why did the Western world and so many countries today abandon this practice?

2. Does it really matter whether I sit or squat? What is the big difference, if any, between the two toileting postures?

3. Will squatting cure my constipation?

4. Well, I don’t have any problems with elimination in the sitting position. Why must I bother about squatting?

5. Can't I get the same benefits of squatting with a sitting toilet by using a foot stool to raise up my legs and bring my knees closer to my body?

6. I want to squat but don't have any squatting toilet at home. What can I do?

7. Why do I need a toilet squatting platform? Can't I just squat on the toilet bowl?

8. Is a toilet squatting platform easier to use than a traditional squat toilet?

9. What are the pros and cons of a toilet squatting platform?

10. Can the elderly use a toilet squatting platform? How about small children?

11. On a toilet squatting platform, can I urinate as well?

12. What will happen to sitting toilets if everyone decides to switch to squatting?




1. If squatting is so natural and important for health, why have the Western world and many other nations abandoned this practice?

Although squatting is the most natural and effective posture for evacuation, a person can also use other positions when needed, eg: a sprained or broken leg.

For thousands of years, kings and queens, the rich and powerful have chosen to make use of this option to be 'different' and distinguish themselves from the 'commoners' or native people in the colonies.

However, it was actually in the mid 19th century that sitting toilets really took off. It was the beginning of the Industrial Revolution.

For the very first time, indoor plumbing became universally available. The early inventors and industrialists had decided - rather arbitrarily - to install seated water closets everywhere. They could have chosen to introduce squatting toilets, as these could also be used with the sewer piping system. But in a quirk of history, it was not to be…

Knowing nothing about physiology, the toilet inventors sincerely believed they were improving people's lives… The throne-like toilets would allow ordinary people to do it ‘differently’ from natives who squatted, and also make them feel like kings and queens.

Those who felt uncomfortable with this development were forced to keep silent. (In Victorian England, bodily functions were considered unmentionable.)

So from Great Britain, the most influential country in the world at the time, the fad quickly spread to the rest of Europe, North America, Australia and many developing countries. No country wanted to seem "backward" at a time when the world was making such rapid "progress".

Not long ago, the taboo surrounding this subject kept most of the Western world in the dark about how the human body was designed to function. Even today, not many are aware that the sitting toilet poses a serious threat to their health.

The continuing failure of the medical profession to educate people is especially regrettable. The situation has caused much needless pain and suffering.

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2. Does it really matter whether I sit or squat? What is the big difference, if any, between the two toileting postures?

When a person squats, his or her thighs are pressed against the lower abdomen. The action of the thighs support and colon and causes the pressure inside the abdominal cavity to increase. The resulting natural pressurization of the colon facilitates waste evacuation.

In the squatting position, the pelvis is also suspended like a cradle, and the buttock opens up to expose the anus. Squatting also do what sitting cannot do: it "releases " the kink in the anal canal . This straightens the final pathway between the rectum and the anus, making it easy for waste to pass out easily and completely.

However, in the sitting position, the kink (bend) between the rectum and anal canal is not released. The abdomen (and colon) is also deprived of any support from the thighs.

As a result, a person using the seated posture for defecation is forced to hold the breath and strain and push downwards for waste evacuation. Yet evacuation can never be complete, resulting in accumulation and hardening of residual wastes in the lower regions of the colon.

All these things – opening of the buttocks, straightening of the anal canal, beneficial increase in pressure in the abdomen and hence compression of the colon – can only take place in the squatting position. The result is easier, faster and more complete bowel movements.

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3. Will squatting cure my constipation?

The repeated use of the sitting toilet results in, or aggravates, many common conditions, such as constipation. Many people have found much improvement in their constipation condition the moment they change from sitting to squatting.

If no congenital factors are present and the colon has no physical defects, squatting – combined with adequate dietary fiber and drinking lots of water - will provide rapid relief from constipation.

It doesn't just apply to constipation. Squatting has also been found to improve haemorrhoid conditions within seven days. Children with bed-wetting problems have been known to attain normal control after a few weeks.

There is a decrease in the risk of bladder infections in women who squat to urinate. Also, women with bladder weakness and incontinence can regain normal control after about three months of squatting.

Men with uncomplicated lower urinary tract symptoms often improve after three months, and regain normal function after six months.

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4. Well, I don't have any problems with elimination in the sitting position. Why must I bother about squatting?

Just as a person can get 'used' to tight fitting shoes etc, one can also get 'used' to sitting for defecation.

However, the price for persisting in this seemingly harmless habit can be high, when colon and pelvic-related health problems begin to manifest themselves ten, twenty or thirty years down the road. By then, it may be too late to do anything about it, eg: acute appendicitis, colon cancer.

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5. Can't I get the same benefits of squatting with a sitting toilet by using a foot stool to raise up my legs and bring my knees closer to my body?

Having a squatting toilet is best. Using a stool to elevate the feet and bring the knees towards the body is not the same as squatting.

It is merely a crude attempt to imitate the natural squatting position where the entire weight of the upper body is on the feet, and the thighs are in contact with and pressed against the lower abdomen (see diagram).

The resulting increase in pressure of the abdominal cavity and beneficial compression of the colon results in comfortable and complete evacuation.

With a squatting stool, you still have to bend forward and use the awkward posture in an attempt to make contact with the thighs and compress the colon (see diagram).

This pseudo squatting posture is not the same as the natural squatting posture. You would still need to hold the breath and strain to push downwards to evacuate – which is not required when squatting correctly.

Straining in this way is the cause of hemorrhoids, diverticulosis and pelvic floor prolapse. Dr B. A. Sikirov, the Israeli physician who conducted successful clinical tests on the use of squatting to cure hemorrhoids (more on this study), found that the full benefits of squatting can only be achieved in the natural squatting position.

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6. I want to squat but don’t have any squatting toilet at home. What can I do?

If you don't have a squatting toilet but you want to squat, you have, practically speaking, four options.

You can install a new squatting toilet. You can replace an existing sitting toilet with a squatting type. (These two options are often not feasible because of different plumbing requirements, building regulations or high cost.)

The third option is to construct a metal structure over your sitting toilet (see this real-life example).

The fourth – possibly the most practical option for most – is to use a toilet squatting platform (picture).

(Click here for more information about toilet squatting platform.)

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7. Why do I need a toilet squatting platform? Can't I just squat on the toilet bowl?

Attempting to balance and squat on top of the toilet bowl is not only difficult, but dangerous and risky.

Most standard toilet bowls are not designed to allow squatting on the rim of the bowl, or to bear the weight of someone squatting on it (especially someone heavy). They have been known to give way and collapse, causing severe injury from pieces of jagged porcelain.

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8. Is a toilet squatting platform easier to use than a traditional squat toilet?

A toilet squatting platform would be just as good as having a traditional squat toilet. It will allow you to adopt the natural squatting position, albeit at a height of 41 cm (16 inches) above the floor, over a sitting toilet (see diagram).

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9. What are the pros and cons of a toilet squatting platform?

A toilet squatting platform will save you all the hassle and high cost of installing a squatting toilet.

The only "disadvantage" (if you want to call it), is that a user must be capable of squatting (for 5 minutes, or what you would need to evacuate). Also, s/he must not suffer from fainting spells or have a poor sense of balance, which can lead to falling off the platform.

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10. Can the elderly use a toilet squatting platform? How about small children?

Squatting is for all – young or old. If you are able to squat without discomfort, regardless of your age, you can use a toilet squatting platform. However, if you have any feeling of unsteadiness or a tendency to lose your sense of balance, then you should not use it.

For those who are able to use a toilet squatting platform, it doesn't hurt either to take additional safety precautions. Either attach hand grips to the wall, or set a chair in front of the toilet (facing away) so you can hold onto the back of the chair.

If not for potties, young children would instinctively squat to answer the call of nature. Wrong toileting posture actually has a greater impact on children. Because of their shorter legs, their feet may not be able to touch the floor when they are on a sitting toilet.

Unlike an adult who can somewhat mitigate the effects of sitting by leaning their body forward towards their raised knees (and thighs) to mimic the squatting position, children can't. Their colon is left totally deprived of any support from the thighs.

For this reason, children should especially be encouraged and allowed to squat. However, they should use a toilet squatting platform with close adult supervision. It is best to let them hold on to a chair (or walker if space is tight) for additional support.

If you are really concerned about having your toddler squat but not above a sitting toilet, you can place two bricks at the sides of a bedpan-like container. They can step up onto the bricks and squat over the container.

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11. On a toilet squatting platform, can I urinate as well?

Yes. Squatting is an excellent posture for urination. For men though, it may be necessary to aim downwards (hold and guide with hands if necessary). For women, it is even easier because their urethra naturally points downwards.

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12. What will happen to sitting toilets if everyone decides to switch to squatting?

Not all should be consigned to the scrap yard. Perhaps a few could be salvaged for display in museums and schools, to serve as a reminder of the danger and folly of choosing form over function...

And as an example of a modern 'innovation' which have caused more harm than good. (A few other examples that come to mind: microwave ovens, leaded petrol, CFCs, aluminium and Teflon-coated cooking utensils, mercury dental fillings.)
 
I can see how that would be, but generally it takes a lot of strength and energy to squat, even for a short time, and it is stressful on the knees and ankles to squat for some people. So I don't know how useful it would be for people who aren't healthy and low on energy.
 
I looked at this subject before, and I agree, squatting is natural and healthier.

To lighten it up:
When I was in China, in the eighties, shortly after borders to western tourism were opened, I went to the public toilet there once.
As I walked in, I saw two rows of squatting man, each covered with open newspaper. So, what I saw was just the newspaper and "jewelery" hanging below.
I burst in such a laughter that... I didn't need to use the toilet anymore... Only then I saw all the faces...


Heimdallr said:
I can see how that would be, but generally it takes a lot of strength and energy to squat, even for a short time, and it is stressful on the knees and ankles to squat for some people. So I don't know how useful it would be for people who aren't healthy and low on energy.

Yes, it certainly is stressful for someone not used to it. I was lucky to learn Chinese chess and play a lot with Asians. Without tables and chairs we were squatting "Asian style". Took me a while to get used to it, but now I find if very comfortable to squat whenever I need rest and chair is not available.
 
I ran across this idea some time ago, and believe it or not, I actually tried it a few times just for the heck of it! :) It takes some getting used to though, because the "what to do and how to do it" when you are done comes up and you realize you have to retrain yourself to "complete the job." And there is the issue of feeling that you're not through with the job, because your body has been trained to evacuate a different way, and the feeling of 'satisfactory completion' is missing. I guess this only lasts until you get used to it though. I didn't get THAT far!
 
:lol:
This is great!

I DID have the chance to test this theory just recently. We had a pipe burst in my building and they turned off the water for an entire day. Well .... I could only hold it for so long! So I got creative. (not that I haven't done the squat while camping, with a focus on re-covering my cold tushy as fast as possible.) I got a bucket and lined it with a couple of plastic bags; set it in the bathtub and did the squat. This was a very deliberate action, so I was very conscious of how it all went. There was NO straining of any kind, it truly was a 'complete' evacuation, with very little to wipe up after. (sorry to be so crass)

But as Heimdallr mentioned above, it was a bit of a strain on my knees. Good thing it was an efficient movement.
 
I have an outhouse at the woodlot and if you saw the size of the spiders who
live near that honey pot you would squat too. I sure wouldn’t want my jewels
dangling too close to those webs. :scared:

I little more seriously, but not much, Beelzebub talks a lot about the debilitating effect
the sitting water closet has on hygiene of modern man. He says the Tikliamishians
got so lazy at evacuating their bowels they had reclining toilets in their decadence.
Beelzebub attributes all sorts of ills to the toxic effects of these toilet practices.
Eventually, man has even lost the capacity for developing objective Reason as
a result. This is included in the chapter...Beelzebub in America. Gurdjieff is probably
still laughing at Beelzebub's description of the odor on the ocean liner as a
result of the failure of the three brained beings to properly utilize the gas for
evacuation of the first being food. :lol:
 
Oh, The Turkish Toilets! There're still quite a lot here in Italy, expecially in old public places and bars, I've seen many 'Turche' around Venice.

Best toilet position so far, unfortunately I haven't one at home :P. Seems to remind me here, that even Gurdjieff told something about toilets in Belzebut's Tales perhaps, about the 'modern' sitting position that is not right for proper evacuation, where the wrong muscles are used to do the job...(!?)

Having some problems with flushing regularly - it's an ongoing fixing with the diet adjustments - I try to rise my legs as mush as I can when sitting, and definitely prefer short tubs, lol. Didn't know the term 'squatting', that's funny.
 
Gurdjieff mentions that squatting is the best way in Beelzebub. I'll see if I can find it.
 
Having done it the "squatting" way for first 18 years of my life and "sitting" from there on, I must admit "squatting" definitely applies more pressure and there is this feeling of having cleansed the body bit more thoroughly :) Plus it requies you to wash it afterwards rather than wiping off with tissue paper which (wiping) isn't very hygenic tbh. I prefer washing it thoroughly with water. The resulting health benefits and body makeup mentioned in the excerpt above does make sense. fyi, Squatting is still the preferred method in some Asian countties such as India, Sri Lanka, Pakistan, Bangladesh etc, not sure about others.

Cheers!

Sid
 
Peam said:
go2 said:
Hay Peam, Beelzebub in America...where else. I'm sure old G is still laughing at that jab.

Ha yes. :lol: Thanks go2. ;D

Here is the relevant passage from Beelzebub. :D

Beelzebub's Tales To His Grandson said:
"Another rather important factor in the disharmonizing of the digestive function of these unfortunate American three-brained beings is the system they have recently invented for the elimination from themselves of the waste residue of their first being-food, that is to say, the 'comfortable seats' of what are called their 'water closets.'

"Not only is this maleficent invention still one of the chief factors in the disharmony now proceeding in them, and in almost all the beings of other continents—who, by the way, have recently begun to imitate them zealously in all their ingenious methods of 'assisting' their transformatory functioning—but it provides your favorites, who are now striving once again to fulfill even this inevitable being-function with the greatest possible sensation of pleasant tranquility, with a new incentive for devoted service to their god, 'self-calming,' which, as I have already said more than once, was and still is the principal evil engendering and evoking in them all the abnormalities of their psyche as well as of their ordinary being-existence.

"A good example—as luminous as an 'American billboard'—for your being-representation of the extraordinary perspectives opened for the future by this invention of theirs is provided by the following certain of these contemporary American beings who, of course by accident, have acquired a large quantity of their famous dollars, now install beside their 'water closets with comfortable seats' various accessories such as a small table, a telephone, and what is called a 'radiographic apparatus,' so that while sitting there comfortably, they may carry on their 'correspondence,' talk on the telephone with their acquaintances about all their 'dollar businesses,' quietly read the newspapers which have become indispensable to them, or finally, listen to the musical compositions of various 'hasnamusses' which, as soon as they become fashionable, every American 'businessman' is bound to know.

"The greatest evil of this American invention, from the standpoint of the disharmony in the digestive functioning of all the contemporary three-brained beings of your planet, is due to the following causes:

"In former times, when more or less normal data for engendering Objective Reason were still crystallized in the common presence of your favorites, and they could reflect for themselves, or at least understand when other similar and already well-informed beings explained the subject to them, they assumed the posture required for this function. Later, when these being-data had definitely ceased to be crystallized in them, and they began discharging this function only automatically, their planetary body, thanks to the system prevalent before that American invention, could automatically, simply by what is called 'animal instinct,' adopt the required posture. But now that American beings have invented these comfortable seats, and they have all begun using them for this inevitable function of theirs, their planetary body can no longer adapt itself even instinctively to the required posture, with the consequence that certain muscles, which actualize this inevitable being-function, have gradually become atrophied, and thus they have become subject to what is called 'constipation' and, in addition, to several specific new diseases, which in the whole of our Great Universe arise exclusively in the presence of these strange three-brained beings.

"Among the various primary and secondary causes which, in their totality, are gradually bringing about the disharmony of this fundamental function in the common presence of your contemporary favorites breeding on the continent of North America, there is an exceedingly peculiar one that is 'blatantly obvious,' but which, thanks to their 'chicken-brained understanding,' thrives with an impulse of egoistic satisfaction under, as it were, a 'cap of invisibility.'

"This peculiar cause, which arose and began slowly and quietly, but inexorably, to disharmonize this function in them, lies in the ruling passion of the strange beings of this large group to go as often as possible to the continent of Europe.

"You should be informed about this peculiar cause also, because you will learn from it yet another result, harmful for all your favorites, of the 'evil wiseacrings' of their contemporary 'scientists.'

"To have a clearer picture and understanding of this cause of disharmony in the common presence of these American beings, you should first become familiar with a certain detail of the organs which actualize this indispensable function of digestion.

"Among the organs serving the complete transformation of the first being-food is one that exists almost everywhere under the name of 'toospooshokh' or, as they call it in their scientific terminology, 'appendix.'

"The function of this organ, as designed by Great Nature, consists in storing up, in the form of what are called 'gases,' various connective cosmic substances, separated through the transformation of the various surplanetary crystallizations which compose the first being-food, so that later these gases by their pressure may help the act of elimination of the waste residue of this food.

"The gases accumulated in this organ produce, by their so to say 'discharge,' the mechanical action foreseen by Nature; and they do this independently of the general process of transformation in beings, and only at certain definite times according to the subjective habit of each being.

"Well then, my boy, thanks to their frequent voyages to the continent of Europe—the round trip taking from twelve days to a month—conditions are created involving a daily change of time for the fulfillment of this established function, resulting in a serious factor for progressive disharmony in the general process of transformation in them. That is to say, when on account of the change of their established time they go for a period of several days without performing this indispensable function of theirs, the 'gases' collected in this organ, not being utilized for the intended purpose, and not fulfilling the design preconceived by Great Nature, gradually escape from their presences unproductively into space—the totality of these manifestations, by the way, making existence on these passenger ships of theirs almost intolerable for a being with a normally developed organ for perceiving odors And so, as a result of all this, they often suffer 'con-stipation,' which in its turn also leads to the progressive disharmony of this vital transforming function.

"Well, my boy, when explaining the causes of the disharmony of the function of transformation of the first being-food in the presences of these American beings, and when I mentioned the 'comfortable seats' they invented, I said among other things that your favorites of the planet Earth were 'once again' striving to perform this indispensable being-function with the greatest possible sensation of self-satisfaction I said 'once again' because in various periods of the flow of time these strange three-brained beings who have taken your fancy had introduced something similar into the usages of their ordinary
existence.

"I remember very clearly one of those periods when the beings of that time—who by the way, according to the notions of your contemporary favorites, were nothing but 'savages'—invented every possible kind of convenience for performing this same prosaic yet indispensable being-need, for which these contemporary Americans, who imagine in their naïveté that they have already attained the 'pinnacle of civilization,' have invented these comfortable seats for their 'water closets.'

"This happened during the period when the chief center of culture for the whole of your planet was the country of Tikliamish, which was then at the height of its splendor.

"For this being-function, the beings of the country of Tikliamish invented something rather like these American comfortable seats, and this maleficent
invention spread no less widely throughout the other countries inhabited by the three-brained beings of that ill-fated planet.

"If the invention of the beings of the Tikliamishian civilization were compared with that of these contemporary Americans, then, according to the expression they sometimes use for comparison, the latter might be called 'child's play'.

"The beings of the Tikliamishian civilization invented a sort of 'comfortable couch bed' which could be used for sleeping as well as for what is called 'lounging,' so that while lying on this wonderful contrivance, without manifesting the slightest being-effort whatever, they could perform this inevitable being-need for which the contemporary beings of the continent of America have invented their 'seats of ease.'

"These 'wonder beds' were so adapted for this purpose that a lever by the side of the bed had only to be touched lightly to enable one instantly, in the bed itself, to perform this same indispensable need 'freely,' of course very 'costly' and also with the 'greatest chic.'

"It will not be superfluous, my boy, for you to know, by the way, that these famous beds were the cause of great and momentous events in the process of their ordinary existence.

"As long as the previous relatively normal system for this being-function still prevailed among the beings there, everything had gone along very peacefully and quietly, but as soon as certain 'power-possessing and wealth-possessing beings' of that time had invented these famous 'comfortable beds' which came to be called 'if you wish to enjoy felicity, then enjoy it with a bang,' those events began among the ordinary beings of that time which led to the serious and deplorable consequences I have mentioned.

"I must tell you that it was just during those years when the beings of Tikliamish were inventing these 'wonder beds' that this planet of yours underwent the common-cosmic process of 'chirnooanovo,' that is to say, in order to conform with a displacement of the center of gravity of this solar system in the movement of the general common-cosmic harmony, the center of gravity of this planet itself was also displaced.

"During such periods, as you already know, in the psyche of the beings inhabiting any planet undergoing 'chirnooanovo-novo,' there is an increase of the 'blagonooarirnian sensation' or, as it is otherwise called, 'remorse of conscience' for one's past deeds contrary to one's own convictions.

"But on your planet, the common presence of your favorites has become so odd—from a variety of causes, some accidental and others of their own making—that the resulting action of this common-cosmic actualization does not proceed as it does in the presence of the three-brained beings arising on other planets, that is to say, instead of this 'remorse of conscience,' there usually arise and become widely propagated certain specific processes, called the 'reciprocal destruction of microcosmoses in the tetartocosmos'—processes which they look upon as epidemics and which in ancient times were known by the names of 'kaliunium,' 'morkrokh,' 'selnoano,' and so on, and today by the names of 'black death,' 'cholera,' 'Spanish influenza,' and so on.

"Well then, since many of these diseases then known as 'kolbana,' 'tirdiank,' 'moyasul,' 'champarnakh,' and so on, and called by contemporary beings 'tabes dorsalis,' 'sclerosis disseminata,' 'hemorrhoids,' 'sciatica,' 'hemiplegia,' and so on, were widely spread among the majority of those using these exceedingly 'comfortable couch beds,' certain beings in Tikliamish—in whose common presences, due to the complete absence of the actualization of being-partkdolgduty, the data for hasnamussian properties had begun to be crystallized more intensively than usual, and among whom were those called 'revolutionaries'—observed this fact and decided to take advantage of it for their own purposes So the beings of this type invented and broadcast among the other beings of that time the idea that all these epidemic diseases stemmed from the 'parasitic bourgeois,' who in using these beds, 'if you wish to enjoy felicity, then enjoy it with a mighty bang,' contracted various diseases, which later spread by contagion among the masses.

"Thanks to their peculiar inherency called 'suggestibility,' which I mentioned before, all the beings around them of course believed this 'propaganda' of theirs and, after much talk about it, as is usual in such cases, there gradually crystallized in each of them the periodically arising factor which causes in their common psyche that strange and relatively prolonged psychic state that I would call the 'loss of sensation of self ' In consequence of this, as also usually happens there, they set about destroying not only all these 'wonder-beds' but also the existence of the beings who used them.

"Although this crisis soon lost its intensity in the presences of most of the ordinary beings of that period, the 'raging destruction' both of these beds and of the beings who used them continued by momentum for several terrestrial years. Finally, this maleficent invention went completely out of use, and it was soon forgotten that such beds had ever existed on the planet.

"At any rate, it can be said with certainty that if the 'civilization' of the beings of the group now breeding on the continent of America continues to develop in the same spirit and at its present rate, they also will unquestionably civilize themselves to the degree of having 'couch-beds' as astonishing as were those beds called 'if you wish to enjoy felicity, enjoy it with a bang.'
 
A chiropractor friend of mine told me about the benefits of "squatting" about 30 years ago. He also suggested that if it is not practical for you, to at least bend forward on your knees so that the descending colon doesn't have a "kink" in it toward the end.
 
Lauranimal said:
... done the squat while camping, ... This was a very deliberate action, so I was very conscious of how it all went. There was NO straining of any kind, it truly was a 'complete' evacuation, with very little to wipe up after.

When out walking in the mountains all day, it becomes necessary to do this sort of thing (and digging a hole to 'aim into' and then cover over when finished). As Lauranimal says it is "a 'complete' evacuation, with very little to wipe up after."

Adding to Laura's comment, the additional advice I was given was to 'stand, as it were whilst sitting' on tiptoe.
 
I worked nearly 30 years down the yorkshire coal mines. There’s no water closets down there. So finding a quiet spot to crouch is the only solution when the need is imminent.

I can vouch for the efficiency, but I very rarely did it down there unless I was desparate because I could never master the art of avoiding the trousers around my ankles.:P
Out of 30 years I bet I didn’t do it more than a dozen times.

There was one lad though who disappeared at the same time every day. You could set your watch by him. It was understandable because his nightlife ritual in the local village where he lived consisted of drinking half a dozen pints then staggering home via the Chinese takeaway or the fish and chip shop. I heard a rumour that he sometimes visited both in the same night if he was extra hungry. :wow:

Now just imagine 40 to 50 men squashed tightly together in a cage at 6am in the morning to decend down the pit shaft and someone like that decides to break wind. :umm:
 
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