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Self-Annihilating Sentences

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Buddy:

Raymond Smullyan lists what he calls self-annihilating sentences from a collection by Saul Gorn “S. Gorn’s Compendium of Rarely Used Cliches.” :

1. Before I begin speaking, there is something I would like to say.
2. I am a firm believer in optimism because without optimism, what else is there?
3. Half the lies they tell about me are true.
4. Every Tom, Dick, and Harry is called John.
5. Having lost sight of our goal, we must redouble our efforts!
6. I’ll see to it that your project deserves to be funded.
7. I’ve given you an unlimited budget, and you have already exceeded it!
8. A preposition must never be used to end a sentence with.
9. This species has always been extinct.
10. Authorized parking forbidden!
11. If you’re not prejudiced, you just don’t understand!
12. Inflation is an economic device whereby each person earns more than the next.
13. Superstition brings bad luck.
14. That’s a real step forward into the unknown.
15. You’ve outdone yourself as usual.
16. Every once in a while it never stops raining.
17. Monism is the theory that anything less than everything is nothing.
18. A formalist is one who cannot understand a theory unless it is meaningless.

Laura:
Those are hoots!  I also want to start a thread about common words that are used wrong... so much to do, so little time!

SAO:
lol that reminds me of these:

Avoid run-on sentences they are hard to read.

Never use no double negatives.

Use the semicolon properly, always where it is appropriate; and never where it is not.

Reserve the apostrophe for it's proper use and omit it where it is not needed.

Verbs has to agree with their subjects.

No sentence fragments.

Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

Avoid commas, that are not necessary.

When you reread your work, you will find on rereading that a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.

A writer must not shift your point of view.

Do not overuse exclamation marks!!! (In fact, avoid them whenever possible!!!)

And do not start a sentence with a conjunction.

Place pronouns as closely as possible, especially in long sentences, as of ten or more words, to their antecedents.

Hyphenate only between syllables and avoid un-necessary hyphens.

Write all adverbial forms correct.

Don't use contractions.

Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.

It is incumbent on us to avoid archaisms.

If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.

Steer clear of incorrect verb forms that have snuck into the language.

Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixed metaphors.

Avoid modernisms that sound flaky.

Avoid barbarisms: they impact too forcefully.

Never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

Everyone should be careful to use singular pronouns with singular nouns in their writing.

If we've told you once, we've told you a thousand times: avoid hyperbole.

Also, avoid awkward or affected alliteration.

Do not string a large number of prepositional phrases together unless you are walking through the valley of the shadow of death.

Always pick on the the correct idiom.

"Avoid overuse of 'quotation' 'marks.'"

Never use more words than are necessary to get your point across: be concise.

Awayz check you're spelling. (Your spellchecker would only pick up one of the two errors here.)

Always be avoided by the passive voice.

Every sentence a verb.

Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague: seek viable alternatives.

Psyche:
 :lol:

Buddy:
Sao, those are really funny!



--- Quote from: Laura on March 23, 2010, 09:38:47 PM ---Those are hoots!  I also want to start a thread about common words that are used wrong... so much to do, so little time!

--- End quote ---


uh oh! I could probably rake a pile of those from my own posts!  :)

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