Simon said:
"Seeing images through meditation is natural" - that's exactly my point - not for me. That's why I came up with this "visualization barrier" - and if it's not that - than I truly have no idea what to do.. so to continue answering 2 U, I have nothing to be distracted with - I am worried about it.
Can I asked why you are worried by this? Are you equating your inability to visualise in unguided meditation with some form of life/spiritual failing?
Have you perhaps considered the reason you 'cannot see anything' is infact perhaps like a firewall/virus killer on a computer? What you are trying to 'see' would infect your computer with a virus.....so 'not seeing' is healthy at this point?
For the record I could never 'see' anything in (unguided) meditations.....nor could I have OBE's (I had some spontaneously as a child) when I tried to force it, nor lucid dream. Fortunately I learnt that forcing such things can be harmful, so desisted before I permanently damaged myself.
I'm pretty sure that 'forcing' such issues may be
abridging your own free will.
Also
http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,5372.0.html
All right, MM took a
particular type of Reiki inititation or attumement today, and
I’d like to know, what was the... she had an event occur
during the attunements. I would like to know what this event
was. What this condition was that she experienced.
A: She should be careful not to “spread her self too thin.�
Q: (L) And what does that mean?
A: One does not need to cram learning, “steady as she goes.�
Q: (V) They’re punctually correct, aren’t they? (L) Yes, they
are! So, is that in a sense a caution?
A: Yes.
Q: (L) Can you describe what it was that was taking place
with her? Or define it?
A: Soul bilocation.
Q: (L) So, it was not exactly a state, as the Sufis describe?
A: No.
Q: (L) And where did she bilocate to?
A: Not easily explainable.
Q: (L) Was it to another density or dimension? Or parallel
univers or spiritual domain? (T) Norfolk Naval Station?
[Laughter] Destination of bilocation! (L) Was this a beneficial
event for her?
A: No. She has been ripping open the fabric too much.
Q: (V) Do you know what that means? (TM) The fabric of
this dimension? (L) Is T correct? The fabric of this dimension?
A: Close. Each soul has its own patterning, which is held in
place by the three bodies of existence [planchette swirls a few
times] ... “thought center, spirit center and physical center,�
there are specific methodologies for adjusting these, and
travelling into or out of other planes of existence. When one
does not properly utilize these, one tears the fabric of their
trilateral continuum when they seek to travel. This can be very
problematic, and may lead to the soul being unable to
reconnect with the body, thus causing the physical center to
perish!!!
Simon said:
You wrote before that maybe the visualization barrier is there for a reason - I think this reason is the way I lived my life to this point. Strong, fact-oriented atheist, proud (!) of his power of deduction, "knowledge-lover" and total ignoramus in Spirit matter.
I'm the same (from the point of view of 'knowledge lover')...but you'll come to learn (if you stick around) that this forum is based on knowledge and reasoning and understanding. We approach the spiritual with a scientific/deductive attitude. In general the best attitude to take towards any 'experience' that is considered 'spiritual' (that is something you cannot define with knowledge/deduction) is that of at the very least scepticism. Lest you be caught in a trap.....4D STS just love to snare people through 'ecstatic religious/spiritual experiences' they 'cannot rationally explain'.
Simon said:
I mean I made myself empty inside because of my faith and admiration of Mind and it's power of Understanding. I gave up all things that I was unable to measure or to comprehend with my logical mind. I neglect that part of myself and I've builded my whole life on foundation without any depth. It is just "an optimal option in given circumstances".
Ok, so you are now swinging totally the other way....abandoning all rational reasoning for 'pure experience' right? Perhaps ask how that is any better?
Balance and caution is the key. I understand this because being someone who spent most of his life 'in thought' I swung the other way quite drastically too.
Simon said:
What I am looking for currently IS complex and it IS beyond my direct grasp, yes. After all those years I've spent on simplifying reality I live in, it is about time to focus on what's underneath/beyond my "direct grasp".
For me it was the though (feeling) that 'my soul was missing'...something fundamental was 'lost'. Which boils down to believing 'I was broken' at 'some level'.
Simon said:
Even if it may be dangerous, I am prepared to take this risk. I mean in what other way can I gain "understanding and knowledge" of it all if I won't try to work with it? Theory is good for imagination or partial understanding needs, but it will never be proper equivalent of experience.
So have you tried the EE program? So far all I see you doing is intellectually rationalising away it as an option - fixating instead on 'pure irrationality' of '(direct) experience'.....the problem is its a jungle out there. If you want a direct experience of a jungle, what are your odds of getting eaten/killed/ill if you don't know the terrain??
If you've lived all your life in a tiny village, and want a 'direct experience of a city' (ignoring the warnings of thieves and con men you've never seen, only heard of in tales) what to stop you from being prey to thieves, con men, manipulators, users and pushers?
It is hubris to presume the 'spiritual world' is no less dangerous because (from your perspective) it is intangible.
Now, you are probably reacting defensively right now....and feeling that what I have writtern is harsh. Would that person from the tiny hamlet feel any less hurt if they where warned them of the dangers of the 'city'? Would it stop them going? Would they go blindly regardless (and get 'eaten')?
Or would they do something smart.....Would they stop and ask what the dangers where, if anyone had gone before, what tools/maps existed? If anyone could help point out paths that may/may not have worked?
As to 'prepared to take the risk'....do you know what you are risking exactly?
You may or may not want to find out....
Here's a snippet from Stalking or Precis on The Good and The Evil on 'bidding'. If you cannot see how this is linked to your '(forced) experience chasing' you may want to consider it more deeply.
http://cassiopaea.org/2010/09/14/michael-topper-on-stalking/
Should there remain any reluctance to grasp this point, or some desire to conserve the liberal-humanistic proposal to which Strieber often turns (i.e. to call such things truly Negative or Evil is “simplistic,” you know) we find a passage in the Ra Material, that anticipates Strieber’s account by years and furnishes a framework before the fact, which not only fits the Strieber-entities’ behaviors like a key in a lock, but gives us a needed perspective of evaluation.
On page 21 of Volume III, The Law of One, the Ra entity characterizes a prototypical tactic of the [4th Density STS], that of “bidding.” “Bidding” is described in such a way to make it clear that Strieber’s experience represents a concrete instance of the phenomenon.
“Bidding” is a contest of will, rendering the consciousness that obeys into enslavement through its own free will. It is a command of obedience, precisely such as that issued without explanation against Strieber’s lust for sweets. It’s sole purpose is to bend the subject into accepting the command, the actual content of the order being largely beside the point. […] To possess a legion of servants in this way is an actual nourishment to the centers and systems of 4th density; a kind of “food-chain pyramid.” […]
Thus we find the Strieber entity virtually paraphrasing the earlier Ra recitation of the modus operandi that identifies the Negative beings – the failure to exact obedience bears punishable consequence. It is a continuing illustration of the way in which the Negative polarity extorts the desired obedience – and thus soul capture – through manipulation of Love.
In the end, you will do what you will do.
*edit* clarity/spelling
