Author Topic: Coping with death of beloved person  (Read 2746 times)

Offline Ljubica

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Coping with death of beloved person
« on: January 31, 2011, 01:09:09 AM »
On 6th of January my grandpa died. He was intelligent, kind, workaholic and honest person. He was interesting, experienced and with amazing memory, he knew almost every ancient decasyllabic poem from region of ex Yugoslavia, heroic poems of Kraljević Marko, rhymed decasyllabic fairy tale of Vila Raviola and all kind of Slavic mythology poems and lyrics, all these wonderful things were part of my life, and now everything is gone, because all these wonderfull poems were part of oral history, just some of them are written like Hasanaginica, smaller parts of them my father knows, I know couple of sentences on beginning, and couple of final sentences of 2-3 of them, my grandpa's ability to recite heroic poems for hours was simply unbelievable. I tried to record him, but he was to shy for camcorder, he said to me: you need to love these things, than it's easy to learn it, not to put them on DVD or TV. Well, I loved my grandpa, and his poems, but his brain & memory was out of my league, don't take me wrong, reciting poems for hours was not the only thing my grandpa knew, he showed me how to work with wood, with metal and engines, I'm sure I could and should learn much more from him....,...

Somehow, knowing the facts about life and death and our transitions to 5th density, did help me to cope better with the grandpa's death. But watching him dying was really painfull, he was 94 years old, although living until the very end like he was 60 years old, I know that rapid progression of cancer took grandpa on 5th density after 14 days of trying every possible medical treatment but it did not work, until the last minute he was conscious, and telling to us that LOVE is only thing we need and that we do not have to worry about him, but to care about eachother and love eachother. Yes, that was my grandpa, great in life and great in death.

I thought, OK, life is going further, we managed to cope with death of beloved person, we moved forward, life is going on, but than 5 days ago, we found granpa's cat poisoned, what an ugly feeling, we promissed to grandpa to take care of his pet cat, and we failed....,...

3 Days ago we noticed rodenticide poisoning on my own cat, our vet tried everything to save him, it was history repeating again, watching someone dying on our hands and we were helpless again, what kind of message is universe trying to tell us, I know we'll always be hit on our soft spots, the weakest link will snap, but it's just a bit too much of death in 1 month.


George Gurdjieff: "We must strive for freedom if we strive for self-knowledge."

Offline Odyssey

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Re: Coping with death of beloved person
« Reply #1 on: January 31, 2011, 01:20:30 AM »
Hi Ljubica,
  Sorry to hear of your grandpa's passing.  It's nice that you had such a good relationship with him. 

I'm sorry also to hear about the cats.  Did they just get into the rat poison or do you suspect foul play?

Offline mkrnhr

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Re: Coping with death of beloved person
« Reply #2 on: January 31, 2011, 01:30:11 AM »
Sorry to hear about your loss Ljubica. Condolences to you and to your family.
For the cat, maybe he finished his mission in this life and it was time for him to leave as well. I guess even cats may have a karma sometimes?
"the slipper must awaken"

Offline Dawn

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Re: Coping with death of beloved person
« Reply #3 on: January 31, 2011, 01:33:28 AM »
I'm so sorry to hear about the passing of your grandfather. Your loving memories of him are wonderful, and attempting to take care of his cat seems as though it was not 'failing again in your hands.' You saving the cat or your grandpa was never in your hands. Please don't blame yourself. The kitty sounds like it was accidental poisoning, and your grandfather likely died because of age or disease.

I would suggest writing every story you remember, and passing it on further. In fact, you sort of already did in this post. Thank you for sharing, and (((HUGS))) to you and your family in your time of grief.

Last year I lost my Uncle and Aunt within just a month's time. It seemed as though my world was getting darker by the day. And it did. But out of all of that, my precious memories of them are more important than all of the gold in the world.  

 
edit for: extra spacing between post and signature.
« Last Edit: January 31, 2011, 01:39:58 AM by Dawn »
Love possesses not nor will it be possessed, for love is sufficient unto love.

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Offline Ljubica

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Re: Coping with death of beloved person
« Reply #4 on: January 31, 2011, 01:35:27 AM »
Hi Ljubica,
  Sorry to hear of your grandpa's passing.  It's nice that you had such a good relationship with him. 

I'm sorry also to hear about the cats.  Did they just get into the rat poison or do you suspect foul play?

Thanks Odyssey. I'm trying to find out what is going on, because other 4 cats were found dead as well in last 16 days but on different locations, it is hard to find where did cats find poison, especially because rodenticides are slow killers, it's cat mating season, cats are walking around a lot, and poisoning could happened all around the village and surrounding wineyards, wherever people have houses and cellars....,...
George Gurdjieff: "We must strive for freedom if we strive for self-knowledge."

Offline Paragon

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Re: Coping with death of beloved person
« Reply #5 on: January 31, 2011, 01:38:10 AM »
I'm really sorry to hear of your losses Ljubica, it must be a very intenese time for you right now  :(


All I can say is that I wish you much strength and all of us here are there for you.
"Fall seven times, stand up eight." -Japanese Proverb

"In order to know the future it is necessary first to know the present in all its details, as well as to know the past. Today is what it is because yesterday was what it was. And if today is like yesterday, tomorrow will be like today. If you want tomorrow to be different you must make today different. If today is simply a consequence of yesterday, tomorrow will be a consequence of today in exactly the same way." - Gurdjieff

Offline Ljubica

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Re: Coping with death of beloved person
« Reply #6 on: January 31, 2011, 01:43:35 AM »
Sorry to hear about your loss Ljubica. Condolences to you and to your family.
For the cat, maybe he finished his mission in this life and it was time for him to leave as well. I guess even cats may have a karma sometimes?

Thanks mkrnhr. My hubby and I have the same idea, both grandpa's cat and our own were extremely intelligent cats, with rich language, posers, understanding simple comands, knowing to open doors, knock on door with carpet, perhaps they really had to go further because they allready learned from us whatever they could. I sincerely hope they will get promotion.
George Gurdjieff: "We must strive for freedom if we strive for self-knowledge."

Offline Ljubica

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Re: Coping with death of beloved person
« Reply #7 on: January 31, 2011, 01:57:37 AM »
I'm so sorry to hear about the passing of your grandfather. Your loving memories of him are wonderful, and attempting to take care of his cat seems as though it was not 'failing again in your hands.' You saving the cat or your grandpa was never in your hands. Please don't blame yourself. The kitty sounds like it was accidental poisoning, and your grandfather likely died because of age or disease.

I would suggest writing every story you remember, and passing it on further. In fact, you sort of already did in this post. Thank you for sharing, and (((HUGS))) to you and your family in your time of grief.

Last year I lost my Uncle and Aunt within just a month's time. It seemed as though my world was getting darker by the day. And it did. But out of all of that, my precious memories of them are more important than all of the gold in the world.  

 
edit for: extra spacing between post and signature.

Thank you Dawn, that is really nice of you to say, it's comforting. I would like to record some of grandpa's epics and write them down but it's almost impossible, I could write down the story but these poems are so complex in nature with lot of rhymes and in strict decasyllabic form, if I simplyfie them and write them down it will be a pale summary of the real thing like explaining William Shakespeare's Hamlet in 5-10 sentences.

I'm sorry to hear about your aunt and uncle, and feelings you had, I undersand perfectly.
George Gurdjieff: "We must strive for freedom if we strive for self-knowledge."

Offline Ljubica

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Re: Coping with death of beloved person
« Reply #8 on: January 31, 2011, 02:00:44 AM »
I'm really sorry to hear of your losses Ljubica, it must be a very intenese time for you right now  :(


All I can say is that I wish you much strength and all of us here are there for you.


Thanks Paragon, that's very nice.
George Gurdjieff: "We must strive for freedom if we strive for self-knowledge."

Offline Richard S

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Re: Coping with death of beloved person
« Reply #9 on: January 31, 2011, 02:18:21 AM »
Sorry to hear about your loss Ljubica. Condolences to you and to your family.
For the cat, maybe he finished his mission in this life and it was time for him to leave as well. I guess even cats may have a karma sometimes?

Thanks mkrnhr. My hubby and I have the same idea, both grandpa's cat and our own were extremely intelligent cats, with rich language, posers, understanding simple comands, knowing to open doors, knock on door with carpet, perhaps they really had to go further because they allready learned from us whatever they could. I sincerely hope they will get promotion.

Sorry to hear about the loss of the cats alongside your grandfather, who I suspect was a really great man.  Even though we are aware that those we love who pass on still exist 'elsewhere', we really do miss them and we need to grieve enough to let out all the emotions felt because of their passing.  After a time, it seems we can then 'remember them with fondness' even though they are gone.

My sympathies for all your losses and I send my love and caring.

Richard
Still trying to learn... sometimes I succeed

Offline Nicolas

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Re: Coping with death of beloved person
« Reply #10 on: January 31, 2011, 02:19:05 AM »
I am sorry for your losses Ljubica. I wish I could have known my grandfather, he passed away when I was 16. My career in electronics was inspired by him as it was his hobby.
"The intuitive mind is a sacred gift, and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift." Albert Einstein

Offline skycsil

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Re: Coping with death of beloved person
« Reply #11 on: January 31, 2011, 03:32:15 AM »
I'm sorry for your loss, Ljubica, but as Dawn said above, it's not your fault. Be attentive about new births in your family, perhaps your grandpa will return =)
As I think of you
From this dark century
I will always be
With generosity
That we both may share
The hope in hearing
That we're not just
Spirits disappearing.

Offline istina

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Re: Coping with death of beloved person
« Reply #12 on: January 31, 2011, 06:40:30 AM »
I am really sorry to hear about your grandpa. My sincere condolences to you and your family.
And your cats poisend... So many losses. It is really hard time for you now!
Take care for yourself!!  :hug2:
"...information arranged by a truth becomes consciousness. That is why truth and objectivity are so important. Without it, consciousness and individuality fractures and disintegrates."
C's

Offline Vulcan59

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Re: Coping with death of beloved person
« Reply #13 on: January 31, 2011, 07:12:36 AM »
My sincere condolences, Ljubica. 
"To love you must know. And to know is to have light. And to have light is to love. And to have knowledge is to love."


Offline Shijing

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Re: Coping with death of beloved person
« Reply #14 on: January 31, 2011, 07:16:39 AM »
My condolences as well, Ljubica, for both your grandfather and your cat. I hope that February is a better month for you  :hug2:
"Giving birth and nourishing,
Bearing yet not possessing,
Working yet not taking credit,
Leading yet not dominating,
This is the Primal Virtue."

- Lao Tsu, Tao Te Ching (10)