I've tried to get and see all ten movies from the list. I've watched six of them in a row, like one movie every evening so far and I must say..What an experience! I mean not only they regard important matters but are damn good pieces of film making and esthetic impressions I got from watching them was stunning.
After watching every one of them I found myself just sitting in silence, smoking tobacco, drinking coffe and just feeling all those emotions which flew through me like crazy. Everyday life on this planet seems to try to turn my heart into stone and often I see that I think much, but not feel much, so this movie trip really got me on emotional ride.
I especially appreciate what Jason said about "Pretty in pink". Gosh, I would never reach for this one in video shop, but indeed it perfectly conveyed the usual "heartbreak hotel" drama that many of us go through - me included. I've been in this kind of situation, I was like "Ducky" guy for couple of years. I've been pushing so hard to get "love" from this person I've been in love with and I've been doing it for...four years even! I just didn't want to give up, I thought if I would try hard enough maybe one day "IT" will happen! Of course, "IT" never happened and probably never will. I've realized this upon meeting this person few weeks ago and now that I've heard what Jason said I realized that I may be in such situation - a lifetime karmically designed to be alone. I've faced the fact that there is high possibility of not having "second half" or whatever name we choose for this person. Well, if that's how it's going to be - let it be. Thanks Jason!
I'd like to share one more thing, an event connected to "forcing" reality to behave like we would like to. I prayed, I thought positive thoughts, I've been doing some funny invented rituals, and I've been really trying hard in this reality - flowers, surprizes, uuuch, I would do everything then just to get her love me. And one night, just when I was driving home with my friend who helped me to create the music colection especially dedicated for her (this was designed to to really nail her down and show how much dedicated I was) we had a car accident. I sensed it would happen, I even told my friend "I'd better dry slowly, I feel like we might have a car crash tonight", but one moment of lessened attention sufficed. Our car was hit perpendicularily, on high speed, at the crossing and the major impact went into the rear left door. My car swirled 360 degrees and stopped, completely wrecked. Me and my friend got out without a scratch! Fraction of a second divided me from death. Universe doesn't like to be forced and sometimes uses extreme methods to remind us of this fact.