Alana said:The seeker, i hear you and i understand you. And yes, time is short. But instead of feeling frustrated and feeling sorry for yourself for not being up to speed, use that energy to ACT. These are my suggestions:
1. Quit pot for good, NOW. Do not try, just quit it. It doesn't help you at all, in fact many of your mood instabilities and inabilities to control your emotions are most likely due to brain imbalances caused by it.
2. Start doing the EE program everyday, except for the BaHa (bioenergetic breathing) for the time being, because is contraindicated for people who are using substances that alter their brain chemistry.
3. Start the detox diet. Our bodies, minds and emotions are affected by what we eat. Read up on the sticky threads on the Diet & Health section, for more information. In this link you will find also the most important books to read on diet and health.
4. Start reading the "Big Five" books on Narcissism from the link of recommended reading, given above. They will help you understand your behavior now, how it came to be, and what you can do/observe in yourself, to change it.
If you are sincere, you can start with these. As Jedi Master Yoda says: Do, or do not. There is no 'try.' :)
I totally agree with the good advices of Alana.
As we can say, it is in your hand, you have your destiny in your hand. Go for it eventhough it is not always easy.