Had a question. Some of the links posted to forum threads say they are off limits, and has made me a bit frustrated in my inability to access them. I am guessing it is similar to needing a base number of posts from ones account to read them, similar to that requirement of base posts needed to be able to edit ones own comments? I am guessing this is better asked in the tech support area, or doing a search on the topic in the forum, but at the moment the emotional program is running as I read this thread. The homosexual aspect here is hitting a nerve in me, as I am gay, and have been wondering about it for a while on and off in my life. Sorry for any noise.
Yes, once you have 50 posts you'll be able to access more areas on the forum. It's good that you notice that you have an emotional program running, rather than acting on it. Sexuality is a big one - and being gay is an especially strong seed for identification and other programs in this world, due to the very wide spread bigotry and hatred directed toward those of us who happen to be gay. Notice I say 'us'. Of course, being straight is also a seed for identification and programs in this society, so no one goes unscathed.
At the core of the issue, however, is the idea that none of us is really gay, or straight - our essences are neither male nor female, gay nor straight - though our personalities will rail against that idea. The forms we take to live this life and learn these lessons are useful, but if we take form for content, we get lost in the suffering to such an extent that we forget all else - and the point of it all is 'all else'.
So - keep observing and keep your mind open and with some work and effort, you'll come to new understandings about not only what it means to be gay, or straight, but how ones lens becomes necessarily warped by all experience and must, thus, be cleaned and repaired in order to see reality as it is.