What woke you up???

For me it was having been in the service, and seeing how sammy really operates. The I was looking at an auto repair manual that covered every make car from 68 to 73. I was looking at how from 68 on the big three car makers reduced the compression ratios of the engines starting in 69 slightly then from 72 to 73 the reduction was dramatic. the same thing was done as far as the rear end differential. It to was reduce in the same fashion. Then I recalled how we had the oil embargo in 73, not to mention bussing started the same year. After looking at the data and doing a little of my analyzation to it. I came to the conclusion: somebody was controlling world events and the auto industry. It couldn't be any other way. Also I read a pamphlet about how the average American car got the same gas milage at 55 as it did at 70. The whole reason Carter lowered the speed limit was to save gas at lease that was what they said. That sorta set my agenda up as far as sammy goes.

Hi DGF, At about the age of 6, I started to realize that virtually every adult was a liar and immoral and didn't even notice it. This led to a lifetime of observing people and organizations. What Really "opened my eyes" was when I received a severe emotional shock which caused me to realize that even though I had this knowledge at a young age, I was often acting very similar (to sleeping adults) as an adult. This led to a "spiritual bankruptcy" and what is referred to as "the dark night of the soul". THEN, I discovered "the fourth way" and like minded people to network with.

I am still not "awake". I am only having more, longer, and more productive periods of "wakefulness"


*Edited for clarity

opossum said:

At about the age of 6, I started to realize that virtually every adult was a liar and immoral and didn't even notice it. This led to a lifetime of observing people and organizations.

Click to expand...

Funny that you should mention this, opossum. It opened up a memory cell in my brain with something in it I haven't thought of for decades: my first independent inquiry into something - with similar results I might add. The 'burning question' I had at that time (I was about 5½ yo) was: "Where do the babies come from?" In those days, my mother was pregnant with what was to become my brother - I already had two sisters at that time but was too young to notice the preliminaries then. Anyway, I just asked this question and got an answer. But thereafter, for some reason I do not remember I continued to ask this same question to a lot of different people and was astonished to get many different answers, all spoken to me in the utmost 'honesty' and sincerity - but nevertheless completely incompatible with one another. So I experienced cognitive dissonance and mental confusion.

That's when I for the first time knowingly discovered the 'lying' with a straight face, making excuses just to not have to tell the real truth, the fairy tales, and so on. My life never returned to 'normal' ever since. I was flabbergasted and felt betrayed and I decided on the spot never to trust any one ever again without checking the facts for myself if possible. I wanted to know and to know for sure. So I developed a real hunger for 'facts' and became hooked on reading encyclopedia lemma's on all and everything; as soon as I could read for myself, that is - which was not before I was 7 or 8 or there about. I remember getting an illustrated child's encyclopedia for one of my birthdays in between and subsequently discovered my fathers' and my grandfathers' encyclopedias - which were different ones, to multiply the confusion.

That's what started my searching quest for truth and I thank you both for reviving this memory of mine...

You are very welcome Palinurus. Thank you for sharing your memory.

Having a kind of a breakdown of several aspects of my life while I was immersed in New Age teachings, all the while hoping that those teachings could save me. They didn't, it all became even worse. That was a shock I'll never forget. A few months later I became member of this forum. ;)

However, since then I had a few other 'awakenings' that still were rather gross in nature, so I am almost sure that the process isn't finished yet. How could it be otherwise?

I expect other shocks yet to come although I'm feeling quite stable at the moment.

During my later childhood and teens, experiences with supposed "peers", school, etc., made me periodically depressed, angry, resentful, and increasingly embittered and cynical.

I'd begun to see the social group behavior of most people as stupid, completely superficial, and as them being solely concerned with "fitting in". And that was the essence of what it meant to be healthy and "normal" in society and culture, which in turn I began to view with disdain.

I wasted much time on distractions as I hadn't found much in the world to care about. I saw humanity as largely stupid and meaningless - if it didn't improve, I hoped humanity would go extinct. Sometimes anxiously, I half-expected society to become oppressive and very ugly within my lifetime - forcing everyone to be "normal" in the sense of what I saw as the "average idiot".

I began to question my new-age-ish worldview, and it splintered into two competing views, one spiritual and one materialistic.

I grew neurotic - not visible on the outside, but intrusive thoughts wreaking havoc on the inside. All the while I was a quiet, inhibited person.

This brought me towards a low - meanwhile I suddenly found a link to the cass transcripts, read a lot, and then went on to the site and its material. It made sense of many things I had not been able to take seriously before - concepts began to sink in - among them many new things - and it formed a coherent whole, for the first time in my life.

As I reached that low, I had enough and strove to Work in earnest - though confused and still-too-unread at first to have a clear understanding.

And so began a real awakening - still in progress.

I came to a stage in my life where the world just simply did not make any sense to me anymore. I had felt this way before but this time it was really heartfelt and urgent in a way. I can remember being confronted with two options. I thought I can just forget about it and keep living my life as normal or I can search and find out what is wrong. Eventually my search led me here to SOTT and the C's.

Psalehesost, I felt pretty much the same about highschool society. Although I was popular in the 7th grade. I didn't how superficial people were until after then. I like for people to be themselves not what someone wants them to be. I highschool I hung out with the nerds cause I found the others to be two-faced for the most part.

I think being able to network on the internet is what has helped me the most. I knew I was different from my family and friends, politically, religiously, etc, and it was always frustrating not to agree with them on many issues. College helped to wake me up to many issues, but being able to network the internet is what has proved most eye-opening for me. :)

This all started for me as quite innocent curiosity as a child- I ate up books on everything, but I was especially fascinated by ancient civilizations. I was fascinated by the Nazca lines and pyramids from all over the world. In fifth grade I made a clay Aztec-style pyramid in art class, and I still have it on my bookshelves. :D

My mom went through a sort of New Age awakening beginning when I was about that age, and I remember her talking with a friend about material I later learned was from the Celestine Prophecy. Living things having auras and such. I read a lot of New Age and pagan texts in the following years, through high school, and my mom sent me to a crystal healing workshop, where I really started to feel like I was "getting warmer", and closer to understanding.

I got pretty disenchanted with the New Age community over The Secret. I felt like the idea of controlling the universe for material gain was just plain non-spiritual. They were pushing positive thinking as a means of enlightenment, which I also found subjective and shallow. I felt like the New Age was really just a search for some quick fix and there was no way things could be that simple.

I took an interest in crop circles and started reading and watching everything I could find on them. Of course this led to UFO's and conspiracy, an area which I had never been particularly interested in, but it harkened back to an odd moment-- I had asked a friend who claimed to be a channel about a series of strange blisters that had appeared on my fingers. She said they were from friendly ET's who were trying to help my body adjust to changes in frequencies. Just goes to show the magnitude of disinfo flying around.

I stumbled upon Laura's "High Strangeness" in a bookstore. Here I am. The timing was just right; I was ready for a bigger step and fed up with all the mixed messages. I didn't really have a normal life to start with, so it was either keep searching or keep being confused. :P

What woke me up was I was the boarding officer in the Navy enforcing the UN oil for food program for Iraq in the Persian Gulf and trying to stop the smuggling of oil out of Iraq. When ships were caught smuggling they would be placed in a holding area until a country accepted responsibility for them. Most of the crew on these ships were Iraqi and from what I came to understand while doing boardings and security is that they were just trying to make a living because of the sanctions. What really put my whole mind up against the wall of dealing with affecting peoples lives was being the officer in charge of taking one of these smuggling vessels into Kuwait. There were rumors that the Iraqis where being killed by the Kuwaitis in such circumstances. I can vividly remember the fear in the Iraqis eyes and the intense, filled with hate look on the Kuwaiti peoples faces when they looked at the Iraqis. I knew after that that I was ignorant of what exactly I was doing in the Persian Gulf and the Navy and that I needed to search for the truth of things. I feel horrible for my part I played in supporting lies and possibly being a part of people being killed. I've been trying to understand and learn ever since.

Hello all,
For me what did it is when my parents escaped ex-Czechoslovakian communist regime and replaced it with a Canadian fascist regime. It's sad that all that energy seeking a true freedom, outside of one's homeland occupied by communists, was a total waste of time. In fact, living under the fascist regime in disguise, it's much harder to live with people who truly believe that their political system is the best and most fair in the world. At least, under the communist regime, the commoners were aware that they were living under a controlling regime, they saw what actually was REAL in reality and refused to pretend to be living in a dream. IT's sad that to this day, Aug 10 2011, people are still asleep, while our holes are being dug in front of our eyes. If humanity has not awakened by now, then it never will because there is no more time left.

I know kinda how you feel Bear. I too learned a similar lesson.

So you and John Kay of the rock band Steppinwolf have alot in common Mona. He and his mom escaped from East Germany. He saw the same things you do judging by the lyrics to his songs.

Words and music by John Kay

We'll call you when you're six years old
And drag you to the factory
To train your brain for eighteen years
With promise of security
But then you're free
And forty years you waste to chase the dollar sign
So you may die in Florida
At the pleasant age of sixty nine

The water's getting hard to drink
We've mangled up the country side
The air will choke you when you breathe
We're all committing suicide
But it's alright
It's progress folks keep pushin' till your body rots
Will strip the earth of all it's green
And then divide her into parking lots

But there's nothing you and I can do
You and I are only two
What's right and wrong is hard to say
Forget about it for today
We'll stick our heads into the sand
Just pretend that all is grand
Then hope that everything turns out ok

You're free to speak your mind my friend
As long as you agree with me
Don't criticize the father land
Or those who shape your destiny
'Cause if you do
You'll lose your job your mind and all the friends you knew
We'll send out all our boys in blue
They'll find a way to silence you

But there's nothing you and I can do
You and I are only two
What's right and wrong is hard to say
Forget about it for today
We'll stick our heads into the sand
Just pretend that all is grand
Then hope that everything turns out ok

Oh yeah music sorta helped point the right direction, but I was already heading that way anyway.

Hard to say, but the events of 9/11 really opened my eyes to what people were willing to do. Something set a fire inside me that day.

I don't know what you'd call this, so I'll just share what I can say from experience.
My first conscious shock (if that's what you want to call it) was in first grade. I still remember every intense moment, including the smells in the school room. The actual event was insignificant. We were just drawing head profiles for valentines cards to send home to parents. Everyone else's profile looked adultish, mine showed a high, rounded forehead like a baby's head. At that moment, I was 'different' in a way that made me start paying attention to everything.

Other shocks followed, including a moment in second grade when I realized my reading and comprehension were through the roof compared to my peers, because I didn't think in 'words'. I decided to slow myself way down just to get called on to read aloud since I took great pleasure from that activity. I sometimes think I damaged my brain in the process though, because for awhile I just wanted to be like everyone else and I deliberately grooved in slower, more lethargic type behaviors until I just became sick of myself.

I never completely shut back down, though I have put myself in a stupor to try and forget all the pain. And I've been in a sort of race ever since to find out why there are/were so many differences between what I see and understand and what everybody else said was the way things are.

When I found out about AD/HD, so many of my questions about my personal issues were answered, I cried in relief. At least I had a label for something that explained my inner sense of 'difference', though I've moved beyond the need to be seen as 'disordered' since then.

Needless to say, I could never completely trust anyone's word on anything after any of this, and that put a huge burden on me to teach myself everything I wanted to know. I was up to the challenge and have been soaking up everything that has come my way and everything whose way I could put myself in since then.

I still have a lot of unresolved questions related to conspiracy issues, but I've never doubted the existence of some kind of behind-the-scenes controllers any more than I've doubted the existence of members of a Conscious Circle of Humanity since the 'fall'.

But I might just be a weirdo still in shock after all, so don't take my word for anything. :D


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Edit: grammar and additions for clarity
(never satisfied)