Esoterica > Memories, Dreams, Reflections

Attack during sleep/Need help

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Serendipity:
I think I just fought off the abduction,hell I'm even pretty sure I did.
It was just 15 mins ago,I was sleeping,dream theme became about my childhood with wome heavy emotions and my mother.
Then it changed aboout me sleeping in bed as child and fearing of abduction,that they will come,almost like knowing it before it happens,still it was dream.
Then it happened.I was sleeping on my back.Then I felt alien arm grabbing me from behind over my shoulder to my hearth/chest.
I immediately decided that this time I fight, i don't let em take me and mess with me.I started breathing rly fast but in as controlled manner as possible,I felt no fear somehow.
And then it stopped and I thought I'm awake but nope.Not a moment passed and I was pulled in that 'world' again...
Alien arm was on my chest (trying to hold me down,from behind,somehow) and I saw other creature jumping from cealing towards me.It wasn't alien looking but rather like one specific character from game I used to play.But that couldn't fool me at that moment,somehow I knew it was alien.As it was on it's way down,coming really slowly, I managed to break away and wake up.
It all happened so fast,in few seconds,and I woke up immediately and what did I saw? There were 2 blackish little orbs size of a nut..one was moving slowly towards direction from which something grabbed me from behind and other was going up through ceeling.I was completely awake,it was this daily world just like I see it each morning I wake up,with air flickering,strands of light surrounding me and there were those 2 orbs that I never saw in my life moving away from me and they were very real.After orbs were gone I noticed 2 strands of light on place which that character from game was jumping from.
After I knew I did something important and probably succesfully defended myself in middle of abduction scenario using my will/awareness somehow?
So I decided to share this experience with you guys while it's still fresh.
P.S. I still feel some pressure,contraction,negative energy in hearth area as a result of that happening.I felt it before lately but now atleast I know for sure it's artificial in origin.

Serendipity:
Last night before sleep I read ''The Wave Chapter 47: Semiotics and The Content Plane '' and I was impressed with what I read especially this part.


--- Quote ---I wrote to Ark and suggested that some of these people were like psychic vampires and that maybe he ought to just stop “dancing” with them since it seemed to be draining me. He thought I was being a little bit overreactive. But all I could go by was what I observed and felt and then the ongoing confirmation that something of this sort was going on. I began to realize that it was not just who you associate with that can make you vulnerable, but who your associates associate with also!

In any event, Ark decided to put my theory to the test and wrote to the individuals in such a way that the manipulations were blocked. This resulted in a strange phenomenon: no sooner had he attempted to “stop dancing” with them, than they began to try even more intensely to sustain contact! They refused to take “no” for an answer!
--- End quote ---


--- Quote ---Q: I have a whole bunch of questions: First, in the past week, Dimi, Jim and SJB contacted Ark. I simultaneously had another of those experiences where I felt that an elephant was sitting on me, or compressing me. I have a theory that there is some sort of frequency wave that activates “agents” and their pre-implanted programs to contact their “target,” and that the frequency is what I perceive as the “compression.” Is this possible?

A: Yes. Notice how contact intensifies post put off?

Q: What? What is “post put off?”

A: After Ark delivered message indicating declining interest.
--- End quote ---

So I thought to myself it's funny that after I identified my brother as an OP or atleast vector of attack,with whom I spent a great deal of time interacting in online world doing nothing except draining my energy and wasting time,my cousion with whom I rarely interacted in the past appeared 'out of nowhere' and before I realised it I'm in the same type of thing as with my brother,wasting time online.I lied to myself that I'm in control of it and that this time it is different (cause we are faar away from each other physically),but reading wave chapter 47 left me astonished.

So I went to bed and made firm decision that I'm stoping this contact (playing online with cousin). I decided that nothing was going to stop me from doing it,not even my different  'i' next day when I wake up, it might even be said that I was utilizing my free will somehow(or making decision on energy level),I was very serious and in the same time curious of what will happen.

What happened were 3 consecutive sleep paralysis 6-9 hours after going to sleep.In every dream before sleep paralysis there was the character of my deceased mother who was very controlling to me while she was alive.Each paralysis lasted only 10-15 seconds and I wasn't scared like I was when sleep paralysis happened before changing I changed my diet,and very curious thing is that I felt something trying to break in to my stomack like before when I felt something attaching to me and starts draining my energy literally,but this time it failed to do that.Something pushed me to my stomack area but I deflected it, each of the 3 times.

Last dream before paralysis was very wierd and very realistic to say the least.Some parts are vague but end is very clear and lucid.I was sent by my mother to buy bottle of wine or some alcohol.My mother was always very serious and concerned about money cause we hadn't much and she always tried to save as much as possible.I know I had to buy bottle of alcohol for 20€ no more.I went to the mall and then my dad appeared.He inquired  the saleslady about the prices and is there any bottle for 20€ and there weren't any, only 30€ or higher,and he choose to buy it neverthless of me repeatedly saying that we can go to other mall and find cheaper but he acted like robot and like he doesn't hear me at all and the saleslady acted in the same manner aswell.

When I remember this now it seems funny, but then I got very upset and cried in dream(this happened before again when there was character of my mother in dreams), their behaviour was wrong or maybe not so cause my dad behaves much like robot in reality.Then I threw money I had on floor  after I wrinkled it(Last few months recurring theme in my dreams is money, finding it on street,then finding more and following the money trail.one time I saw money inside a some sort of a cave and crawled inside to get it only to get stuck! haha).Then I left outside in tears and at the same moment my dad and saleslady picked their mobile phones (in controling manner)and dad called my mother and saleslady the security downstairs.(that supposed to scare me?)

 I just passed by the security man and exit outside to the open,on street.Then out of nowhere I met highscool buddy.I asked him where he is going. He said he is going to church and I can come along.I said, no thanks, and continued to walk then another buddy came and wanted me to come with him on party tonight,and another invited me in cafe bar.(needless to say I don't like church,cafe bars,and going out to get drunk)I said no thanks to that aswell and whole scene became too weird,weirdness was through the roof.I started to gain lucidity, I saw miror on street and my reflection in it,but reflection of my 'buddies' gave me uneasy feeling cause there was something wrong I felt in it.At about now I realised it is dream and probably another sleep paralysis attack type.And my 'buddies' were persistent and gathered around me like pack of hunry dogs and pulling my t-shirt like zombies.Now isn't that crazy,but I knew it's dream so I thought I'd give it a fly :D,I looked up in the air and I saw I was surrounded by high walls and 90 degrees  vertical hill from one side and high buildings on other surrounding me and high above I could see some of the blue sky.I tried to fly up but I couldn't,maybe because of all the pulling for my t-shirt?Then I tried to jump 10 meters high on the hill,that wasn't high for a dream I thought, but nothing happened again.Why couldn't I do that in dream?(perhaps architects of 'my' dream didn't allow that in their dream,just a thought).I started get really annoyed with all that pulling for t-shirt and them calling my name and decided to wake up.After few seconds delay I did wake up with third sleep paralysis in a row.
P.S. My family noticed my face was pale after I woke up.

EDIT: After reaching 50 posts I decided to edit some parts of this post cause I wrote badly and hard to understand.

Serg:
About college I think you had to ask yourself what college can give for you. For example about work, will it be easier for you to find a better gob with a diploma? I finished my studying this year. Around years ago I had something similar. I decided to change my studying to the 'individual plan'(It is when you allow not to visit lectures and practical lessons, but only had to pass exams) Find out what study options you have.

Serendipity:

--- Quote from: Serg on July 26, 2012, 12:32:39 AM ---About college I think you had to ask yourself what college can give for you. For example about work, will it be easier for you to find a better gob with a diploma? I finished my studying this year. Around years ago I had something similar. I decided to change my studying to the 'individual plan'(It is when you allow not to visit lectures and practical lessons, but only had to pass exams) Find out what study options you have.

--- End quote ---

Hi Serg,
If I'm correct,you are responding to what I wrote here

--- Quote from: Serendipity on November 23, 2011, 04:48:19 PM ---So I'm going to the colledge I feel no happy at all going to. I signed for it just cause it was the only colledge similar to what I wanted to do and learn since I was child.But as it turned out it was nothing like it(science) and i felt miserable attending it, this is my 3d year.                                         

--- End quote ---

Much changed in my worldview since I wrote that. I learned to look at the colledge(and life) as opportunity for working on myself/external considering/conscious suffering/discipline and all that.   
I have this forum and knowledge that I received here to thank for that.
Yes, It's not colledge of my dreams,but it's the best there is in the current situation.Gonna take what life gives and do the best I can with it  and learn the lessons.
All there is a lesson.Also,life is religion.That's what I try to keep in my mind as I go.
Anyway,thanks for your response, and suggest you to read the new session from c's. :)

Serendipity:
Last night I was thinking about sleep paralysis experiences. Results are some new thoughts and new questions.I'll do my best to be as objective as possible,but please bear with me cause I'd also like to cover the whole issue from my current perspective,so it may be bit long text but insightfull as well I hope

First of all since I changed my diet, began practicing EE (even though just baby steps there), and above all started doing real Work, the sleep paralysis is still happening to me, but with big difference that there is no feeling of being drained during what might be perceived as attack/paralysis and no headaches and sickness during the next day.

Second,since I've been experiencing this phenomena a lot I've tried to at least understand it.What C's said about eclipsing of realities was very helpfull as well.

I noticed 3 main types of sleep paralysis(attack) phenomena in myself, and I'll try be objective while describing.All 3 types I experienced recently.First I'll give general description of the events that lead to different type of 'attack',then I'll describe mechanic of the 'attack' , and last I'll give my interpretation of it.


First type:
It happens when during the day I succumb to sts mode of thinking and got sucked in fear and self concern.It usually happens after I don't read or acquire any knowledge for longer period of time,or when I go out with friends who are very much part of the matrix,and having my defenses down without vigilance I got sucked in their world.

In a dream something big, like big demon or lizard (I can only see and feel his reptile hands)grabs me from behind and holds me with tremendous force and tries to do something or to attach something to my occipital ridge.I often hear buzzing sound behind my head like someone is using some kind of frequency on my occipital ridge.

My interpretation is that type of 'attack' is when my FRV goes down,due to me going to 'sleep' and what gjurdjieff called hypnosis,so the matrix finds me and tries to plug me back in,and I experience that what is happening on the deeper levels in form of sleep paralysis, opposing thought centers, eclipsing of realities that C's described.

Second type:
This is most frequent type I experience, it's one with black cat. I didn't establish when exactly this attack happens,maybe there are no obvious patterns to it.But one thing became obvious to me with eerily certainty.My brother is OP,and I am completely convinced in that,as I learn more,the more it becomes obvious as a fact.Unfortunate circumstance is that me and my brother sleep in same room.And this is where things get strange.In my first post on this thread I wrote about black cat jumping on my stomach or back and then draining my energy.Well many times the cat would come from my room and from exactly same place where my brothers bed is.Then,few months ago I noticed the creepy sensation of my energy being sucked out, like some force is  literally attracting it from me and pulling it away.But when I started to block this my brother who was already asleep would turn in his bed and moan,and I would felt stinging feeling in my stomach.Then it goes again,I would stop paying attention and something starts to sucking my energy, I focus and mentally block it, and my brother turns in his bed and moans again like someone is torturing him in his dreams.And unmistakably my brother reacts each time I apply mental blocking technique even though he is firmly asleep.

In a dream I see cat coming towards me,and somehow I know it doesn't belong to my dream.Then cat reaches me and bites me or jumps on me .Then I wake up fast and there are little creepy claws on my back usually,I can feel disgusting and foreign energy on my body.Lately I manage to fight off those claws and paralysis in just a few seconds and wake up.But before it lasted longer and I couldn't stop the paralysis and there was energy drain.When I woke up my brother moans even louder in his sleep,each time when I successfully block the black cat/creepy claws entity.

My opinion is that 4d sts forces use my brother who I know is OP, as portal and drain my energy.Well not just opinion,more like something energetically experienced on my own skin

Third type:
This is most elusive type for me.And most curious.It's about the transparent spider,same spider I keep seeing for years! Last time it happened to me was a week ago.I went to bed more happy and at peace then usually, my emotions/heart center was open, flowing,and usually I'm blocked in experiencing emotions.I literally felt energy flowing to my chest and it was good feeling that rarely happen to me.Similar but even stronger feeling happened before the strangest sp I ever had and I wrote about it here  http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,25470.msg322054.html#msg322054  only that I forgot to mention that the extreme feeling of joy and peace and lack of self concern preceded it.Now that I remember I'm pretty sure that my internal state was similar before other encounters with the spider.

I dream that I'm flying(I dream to fly whenever I feel happy and easy),then I even realize that I'm dreaming and I try to fly to the next building but I couldn't.Then paralysis happens(I realize it's natural condition of the body during the sleep btw)Now, this is why this type of sp is different then other. In this type,it's hard to explain, but I'm in world of vibrations,where everything around me is vibrating,other way to describe it is, it's similar to the static on television.I'm still partially aware of the world around me, my bed etc, but 'this world' is suppressed by the vibrating world, vibrating world is more real during the experience.And always, always when this happens,I see transparent spider,always the same spider,moving around,walking above me,but also on me, can't really describe it,except that I feel it's maybe attached on me in some way.And it's doing something with it's legs and hands(or whatever) it's like it has it's plan and knows exactly what is it's job to do. Last time it happened , when I saw it, it immediately started moving towards me,near my eyes, and first time I saw it appear bigger then usual cause it came right in front of my eyes.Until that moment I wasn't afraid or too concerned but when It came that close I felt my hearth started beating very fast suddenly without control.And soon after sleep paralysis passed and I was awake.

All that wouldn't be so strange if I don't see the same vibration/static during my waking hours and especially at night(might be eyes problem,or high blood pressure,I didn't rule out that possibility,but my eyes were always in perfect condition and blood pressure in order,and I was seeing it for many years now) And after the spider sp, I see it more intensely then usual, before it fades out during the day,but it's still there. So, I don't know what this is, what that spider is,or why I see it each time my creative energy rises,or why I have impression it's alive and intelligent,but I know it's real for me,and I'd like to figure it out. Could it be some kind of attachment?

Thank you for attention :)
In next post I'll write about how it all started,the first sleep paralysis that I remember(the answers usually can be found on beginning) which was probably one of the most important turning points of my life.

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