Esoterica > Memories, Dreams, Reflections

Attack during sleep/Need help

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Serendipity:
I'm not much good with using words , it took me 3hrs to write above post but I'll try my best and say something about myself if that's allright.
I'm 21 years old human,and problems come with job description we can all agree on that.I was born just when the war started in my country, croatia.For almost 5 years my father was soldier in war defending my birth city from agressor, and my mother had to quit her good job to take me on safety, we were evacuees for almost 5 years.Story ive been told countless times is that whenever i heard siren even tho it wasnt (war siren) i would go and hide even tho I was 1-2 years old.That all must be the reason that all my life i've been runing from something or feeling in 'war' or battle.Dreamed about war many times and much more about running away from someone(thats my nightmare you can say).After the war ended we returned to my hometown, my mother started working as a maid in hotel, and housewife at home, raising me and my 2 little brothers on her own.My father was diagnosed PTSD, so you can add one more child on list for my mother to concern.I remember him back then when he was healthy.I remember him coming from the front and bringing packet of supplies from army and he saved for us, remember him telling bedtime stories to me and my brothers before sleep and going fishing together.Soon after he lost it.Can't blame him, he had terrible life and absolute zero of love in his family as he says. I am convinced his father is psychopate,enough said.All three of his children have serious psychial disorders.
My mother passed away 4 years ago.For months , maybe years she was more depressed, frustrated and above all tired.I couldnt notice that in time since I was damn teenager with,all the issues and not nearly enough knowledge.While my dad was spending his day on couch doing nothing but praying(he even convinced her and that means us children aswell to pray the rosary together every evening.He himself used to spend hours and hours on prayers and doing nothing for family,he had excuse for all those years he spend like a mindless zombie,like, "i'm on pills"  or "i'm sick" or more often "i don't know" ...and that was the father I had to look up to for more than 15 years now.It was not till few years till I started to see more clearly how much bad influence he was on whole family for all these years vampiring around!
Few months before my mother passed away I started having this headaches, doctors here couldnt find the cause so she took me to bigger city;her birthtown where her father that left her mother lived and who I saw only 3 times in my entire life, yes she had bad childhood perhaps worse that mine,and  it became by faar worse when she married my dad and moved to live in same house that owned his father(Imagine being surrounded by psychopates after coming back for being refugee to raise your 3 children by yourself)So back to my story.Poor finantial state we were in but she didnt hesitate a bit to spend her months wage for my headache.(This was just few months before she passed away)Nothing on the scan was found it was nothing wring with me(later i figured cause of my headaches were scoliosis, stress and maybe 'attacks at night')My mother was thrilled nothing was wrong with me.(if only she took that scan instead of me)She started having memory losses, kept forgeting more and more but didnt do nothing about it,likely because she didnt have time for it.Only time she had for herself was at night to sleep,even then she couldnt rest, psychopate had 'needs'.I saw that she became more and more disguisted with him,I can imagine that she saw no exit from the situation, she didnt have knowledge we have privilegue to have, she was most kind and giving person i met in my entire life and i realized that only after she died.If she only knew what i knew today.. she could have resisted the attack and saw that she was drained day by day and maybe found a way.In her last days I was sensing something is wrong with her, at that time i started my quest for knowledge, realized i can feel my energy and make my hands vibrate,even dreamt i could maybe heal people using it(whishfull thinking). I put my hands over her forehead many times in that few weeks when my hands were vibrating, told her about that 'ability' before and joked that i heal her,like i knew on some level that something is wrong.Few days before it happened she got a fever and felt week,it is just a flue she said, I'll be fine.When she felt even worse she went to hospital, they put her to bed to spend a night and let her out next day.Next night her state got worse and early in dawn I heard her my dad leading her to hospital.I was half asleep  but awake and I heard her saying to my dad: "P_ take care of kids."Something struck me then, it was the the way she said those words or maybe it was that were her last words i heard. Few hours after I got called on phone to go to hospital and bring my brothers.When I came her mom was there, she said mom fell in a comma and doctors found out she has brain tumor only after that.But it was too late, she was braindead only her heart was still beating.She was transfered to same town we went for my head scan and switched on machines.Everyone knew she is gone except her children,for whole month her heart kept beating when they called again and said it is over.Night when she went from home last time i dream this dream.There I was runing on the road from zombies i found the black cat brought her home and put her in frot of my mothers face, and the cat scratched her head.Few days after i had astral projection or dream in which i was aware of myself where i talked with her and i woke in piece.Maybe it was opportunity to say goodbye through 5th density or could be my wishfull thinking and it was a mere dream.
I know that i didnt get over her death somewhere on some level i didnt, even tho I am becoming more and more certain and convinced that her soul lives that it was her mission and just a lesson and same applies to all of us,but it's so easy to foget that you know.Add this on my list of problems..living in strange world with strange people doing strange things and being percieved as strange by them.Well I learned to percieve that as a lesson so it's not much of a problem anyway.
It's long and with grammar errors i know, but you asked me if I had probles and I just knew I had to write this down.Many thx for help:)
 

Mr Meowgi:
Hello Improvise,

 I have suffered from many night terrors/ sleep paralysis most of my life ( 48 years old). Peaceful sleep is hard to find for me but I have made some changes that have helped. I am not fond of being fed upon either! After a month of almost daily attacks in the 1990s I spoke from my mind to the creatures mind and asked "why are you here". It seemed to disrupt them and throw them off balance as I suppose it would be like a pig in a slaughterhouse starting to speak to the guy doing the killing. Anyway my sleep was restored to semi normal for quite sometime after that. I still have sleep paralysis and am currently re-reading the wave series which has some excellent information on psychic attack and other issues that may help. If you can get a copy of High Strangeness and look through the recommended reading list this may help as well. I thank you for your post as it helps me to see that I am not the only one out there that has sleep related problems. READ READ READ. STUDY STUDY STUDY. Find what works for you.

David

Serendipity:
Thanks for advices, David. I will read and learn, always loved to learn. Like cassiopaeans say" learning is fun" and "learning is quest of a soul".
Two things I forgot to mentioned about my last attack.
   First, Like I said I felt endrangered and couldnt fell a sleep that night. And I saw alien figures in my mind,and almost as I was sure that another attack and paralysis would happen cause, for once, I remembered having attack already before after seeing similar images and having trouble falling asleep,so the feeling was familiar to me already.And aswell, after 1st time I saw that images before sleep, I read this in Montalk's book "Fringe knowledge"  -  "Precursors to abduction include seeing visions of aliens when you close your eyes to go to sleep" , so that was 2nd sign.
   Second thing I didnt mention is about my health condition.When I was kid I grew too fast in hight so I ended up with scoliosis,and with it slight but sensable deformation throught my whole body for example: headaches,toubles with neck,with my pelvis, elongated left leg, athlete's foot and my right pectoralis muscle is pulled inwards(left side of my chest is bit bigger you can say(when I breathe I feel the air going through left side of my lungs, I dont feel air going through right side of my lungs so I connected my health condition with the last attack in which, I'll repeat , I was aware and almost fully awake, that's why I managed to touch that thing that was sticking from me and when I did, same moment it started crawling out of my 'body', and I felt it going all the way from my foot to my plexus and then out.It wasnt in my physical body ofc but in 'ethereal' i think which is logical and when you think of it that could be the reason why we experience paralysis when under attack,our physical body is in sleep state and we are actually aware but not using regular awareness but that of 'etheral body' and since most people are not 'in touch' with their 'ethereal' body they feel paralised, cause they didnt learn or forgot how to use it.
Like I said I can feel 'energy' better then other people thats how I know that thing was in my other body, cause i feel that other body.And I managed to touch it, with my left arm(was it physical, most likely not)to get to the point.Why that thing was in my right part of my 'body' and why I touched it with my 'left arm'.Can it be connected with my health situation,that I feel air in my right part of lungs, and feeling left part of my body in general more then right side, right side feels numbed, that could be reason why attack came through there, I'm sure it's connected. I wrote much in detail but can't help myself, I'm theral and in hope someone will find similarity to own expirience and be able to share and help out thanks:)

Slow Motion Mary:
In addition to Mr. Meowgi's suggestions about reading and studying, it appears some of your physical issues might be contributing, and I'd be willing to bet you experience physical as well as psychic pain.  Yoga is wonderful for whole body health, and there are also some postures/positions which help strengthen targeted areas, whether internal or external.  I would definitely discuss this with a physican or trained practitioner first, though, due to the scoliosis.

You have a ton of issues.  Realize first that all situations (whether physical or mental) are interconnected and are a learning experience.  Try working them out with baby steps:  Tackle one of the smaller issues and work your way up to gain confidence.  If you work out one issue, others may work themselves out or, at the very least, the answers will come more readily.

Be easy on yourself!  It takes time to strengthen the mind, and it's a tough road!

Serendipity:
Slow motion Mary thanks for advices(better late then never I hope :) )I admit I was hoping to get more solid answers but I have to work for it myself I guess for knowledge not to become a candy and thus dissolved.

I have some new things to write and I'll try to be short.
So I'm going to the colledge I feel no happy at all going to. I signed for it just cause it was the only colledge similar to what I wanted to do and learn since I was child.But as it turned out it was nothing like it(science) and i felt miserable attending it, this is my 3d year.Not to mention my that I never felt good ain groups,among many people.
OK, so I took 2 weeks off colledge and it was most wonderfull time.I was happy, I was doing what I enjoyed, reading watching movies , learning. I even became more positive, had positive dreams , and had some kind of what you might call spirit release experiencein semi dream semi awake (and on some other level aware) state. I even stopped having that unpleasent burning sensation in my naval area of stomack that is associated with STS thoughts and emotions.In 2 weeks period while reading about frequency resonant vibration I even connected it with it.During that 2 weeks I didnt had that unpeasent feeling but only few times and I began to learn to control it more, by becoming more STO. No attacks of any kind happened either!

But what happened, i decided to go to class this morning, one short class only.I thoght i was rdy to for it but wrong.Unpleasent burning sensation was charging on its own out of my controll, i wasnt able to hold frequency resonant vibration as good as during last 2 weeks. When I came back home I went to sleep and attack happened.
First, I saw black cat in same corner of my room as always(5 or 6 time that I remember this happened), i knew conciously this is attack/dream, i tried to wake up,but no deal.Cat jumped on me like always but guess what! Some invisible shield around me repulsed it! I was amazed but i knew it wasnt over. Then i woke up again in my dream and cat appeared again and this time got me and same thing that happened each time this happened, happened :P It's serious though  :shock:   First I felt giant pressure against me so I couldnt move at all and immediately got feeling like being milked,from naval area,something attached to me was draining something from me (i'm sure it was sexual energy) I could have just lied there and do nothing, but only my hands were free and I pinched both my hips and felt nothing(probably cause it was imaginary body), so I just lied and in hope it gets over and I survive.Then I 'fake awake' again (possible self defense mechanism against trauma of being eaten!) then after i fell asleep in a sleep i awoke for real. But except from remembering the attack, i felt something was wrong, messed with inside me. And most curious thing is that when I awoke it didnt took me 10 -15 mins to come to my senses and to rouse, but I felt like I had been awake for long time, and my eyes werent rested at all.
What is this  burning sensation in naval area, and being 'milked' from same area in sleep? Is it possibly abduction scenario or some other astral being attack? What should I do with colledge,Who am I?
I wish the answers are just handled over but it doesnt go that way,does it? Everyone has to work hard and earn the answers in order to gain knowledge and knowledge protects. So , ergo I need more knowledge to be protected from attacks? maybe to recarge that shield at least i know it can be done,and 'they' whoever they are, dont want us to learn to get free,that i concluded , cause I was attacked first opportunity they had a chance,my moment of weakness.I still remember what were my thoughts when I was 'milk shake', I swore that I will never give up, that I will learn,fight,improve till I stop being served.
(but after waking up my intention faded like being stripped from it, probably one more dirty trick they got) Still I menage to wrote this post even tho I accidentely deleted it after coming to last word after 1hr writing  :P                                           

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