Back to work issues

After a long period of absence from work due to ill-health (7 months) I'm starting a phased return on Monday. I'm about half way through Strangers to Ourselves and I'm seeing that there really are things that I can't see in myself, especially in relation to causes of feelings and judgements.

In my job I am the manager of a housing complex for older people, with 72 flats to look after. I'll call this Location A. I've been working there since the middle of 2010. I got sick one year after I started there. When I first started at Location A, I felt completely at home there, it was a refreshing change from the place I worked at before that. I liked all the residents there and the place has a nice atmosphere. This feeling of being at home continued during all my time there. By the time I got sick, I knew the place intimately, the residents and their issues, and the bricks and mortar. My immediate supervisor (not my boss) told me that she really missed having me there as I had all the knowledge of the place at my fingertips.

Another person has been doing my job since I've been off work, and was told that she is the permanent staff there. I've heard on the grapevine that this person is not so good at the job as me. However my boss said to me yesterday that he doesn't want to move this person again as they have only been at Location A for seven months.

My boss is now making noises about transferring me to another similar place, which I'll call Location B. It has about the same number of flats but is completely different in the makeup of the residents and the general atmosphere. To be short – I don't like it, I don't like the atmosphere, and I don't want to work there. Not to mention that there's an active wireless router on the desk in the office, and I don't think I'll be able to move it.

At Location A there are several work colleagues with whom I have an excellent relationship, while at Location B I would be on my own.

Last night I awoke at 2.30am, with a powerful knot in my solar plexus and negative thoughts running in my mind about this possible transfer. I did the POTS for a good while, and soon after started crying about this situation. These tears may however have been connected to a slew of disturbing and violent dreams I had the night before. In EE today I couldn't stop crying during the beaha, and there was a connection again to my job situation.

The problem is that I can't figure out if my dislike of Location B is an accurate objective knowing of whether I would enjoy working there, or if it's just an inner child tantrum, so to speak. When I think about being transferred, I notice that there are elements of childishness in the way my objections are phrased mentally. On the other hand it may be because I don't like change very much. Or it could be a real and true intuition that there is something dangerous or unhealthy for me about working there. I've had such intuitions before, occasionally, usually where something important is concerned, and they have usually turned out to be correct.

I've done dowsing and tarot readings to try and get a handle on the issue. All the results from these two systems have been negative about me working at Location B.

I don’t want to take it on and then find out that my misgivings are correct, but I may not have a choice if my boss makes that decision. I could always just leave the job, but I don't have another to go to. Today I looked for local jobs that I could do and I couldn't find any that seemed to fit. So I'm in something of a quandary.

We are to have a meeting on Friday next week – me, my replacement at Location A, my supervisor and my boss – to 'thrash out' who will be working where. My boss said that we would both have a chance to make our case for where we would like to work. I've been making lots of notes of reasons why I should return to Location A! Of course this meeting could go in my favour.

I know that ultimately the best thing is probably to wait and see what the outcome of next week's meeting is. I hoped that writing this post would bring some clarity. It has been helpful to write it, but I still have the strong feeling that I don't want to work at Location B.

Thanks for reading. Any mirrors or comments are most welcome.

It could be a fear of change, as you said. For what it's worth, the first thing I thought of when I read your post was that perhaps you feel you are being abandoned/exiled/punished. Apologies if I've missed it, but have you written about these dreams? If not, can you describe them somewhat - they may provide some clues. What may also be helpful is some journaling about your childhood and see what that brings up for you.

During BaHa, can you say how you knew there was some connection to the job situation? What thoughts, if any, did you have when you were crying?

As you've said, you may want to wait until the meting and see what comes of that. I think making notes is a good idea, particularly if you already know what may better qualify you to be there.

Since you have no other job in place, if it turns out that you are sent to location B, it may be a good idea to give it a chance. perhaps there are some valuable lessons awaiting and a chance for growth.

Also, can you say what it is about the 'makeup' of the people and the atmosphere at location B that bothers you?

We are to have a meeting on Friday next week – me, my replacement at Location A, my supervisor and my boss – to 'thrash out' who will be working where. My boss said that we would both have a chance to make our case for where we would like to work. I've been making lots of notes of reasons why I should return to Location A! Of course this meeting could go in my favour.

I know that ultimately the best thing is probably to wait and see what the outcome of next week's meeting is.

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Hi Endymion,

The way I see this, all depends on how much you really need to be employed at location A in stead of at location B. Not knowing the specifics of both locations and work opportunities, I can't come up with much more than some generalizations.

For instance, to objectify your outlook you might try to split both locations not only on a subjective level of likes and dislikes, but also in a more objective sense - like gathered expertise that would go wasted, personal ties to the residents in favor of the one location over the other (you even could quantify some of those with some sort of questionnaire or a few telephone calls or something), hint at high praise from supervisor, and the like. It would give you more solid ground to stand on while stating your case to your boss.

You also could try to make a deal with the person replacing you while ill, or at least try to find out her take on things before the meeting with your boss takes place. Could yield additional arguments for your final presentation.

Inevitably, there remains a chance that you will have to go working at location B eventually. It would be wise to prepare for that mentally as to what your final attitude toward such an occasion likely will be. That could strengthen your resolve while pleading for the other option. OSIT. FWIW.

Endymion said:

Last night I awoke at 2.30am, with a powerful knot in my solar plexus and negative thoughts running in my mind about this possible transfer. I did the POTS for a good while, and soon after started crying about this situation. These tears may however have been connected to a slew of disturbing and violent dreams I had the night before. In EE today I couldn't stop crying during the beaha, and there was a connection again to my job situation.

The problem is that I can't figure out if my dislike of Location B is an accurate objective knowing of whether I would enjoy working there, or if it's just an inner child tantrum, so to speak. When I think about being transferred, I notice that there are elements of childishness in the way my objections are phrased mentally.

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I think you might be on to something here. Your positive descriptions of your old job and the objections of the new job do seem to have a child-like quality to them. I haven't heard too many people describe their job 'like home' before so maybe the people and/or environment does carry some childhood projections? Maybe it would be good to reflect if there were any times during your childhood when you were taken out of the life you loved and had to either move to change things that you made you uncomfortable? See if you can make any concrete connections with people and feelings in your current situation and your past.

Endymion said:

I've done dowsing and tarot readings to try and get a handle on the issue. All the results from these two systems have been negative about me working at Location B.

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If there is some subconscious projection going on here, I'd be pretty careful about trusting the results of these readings.

Who knows, the new job could be a new opportunity for growth. Your employers may have recognized your skills at managing Location A and also see the need for improvement at the other location. It may be a different and new kind of work, but perhaps it's a natural progression from lessons learned? There might also be a lot you could do there for people who are really in need at this new location. And if you are the only person managing things you might be able to have a really positive influence there.

Just saw this article on SOTT, which might help:

Writing to Heal

truth seeker said:

It could be a fear of change, as you said. For what it's worth, the first thing I thought of when I read your post was that perhaps you feel you are being abandoned/exiled/punished. Apologies if I've missed it, but have you written about these dreams? If not, can you describe them somewhat - they may provide some clues. What may also be helpful is some journaling about your childhood and see what that brings up for you.
...
As you've said, you may want to wait until the meting and see what comes of that. I think making notes is a good idea, particularly if you already know what may better qualify you to be there.

Since you have no other job in place, if it turns out that you are sent to location B, it may be a good idea to give it a chance. perhaps there are some valuable lessons awaiting and a chance for growth.

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Shane said:

...
Who knows, the new job could be a new opportunity for growth. Your employers may have recognized your skills at managing Location A and also see the need for improvement at the other location. It may be a different and new kind of work, but perhaps it's a natural progression from lessons learned? There might also be a lot you could do there for people who are really in need at this new location. And if you are the only person managing things you might be able to have a really positive influence there.

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I concur with the above posts re fear of change/comfort and perchance, the Predator's fear of you making new learnings, of growth, of learning more about Truth - whilst all the while being of service to others.

Truth seeker, Palinurus, Shane, Prodigal Son – thanks so much for your replies!

Before I get into addressing certain individual points raised, I want to say how things went after posting last night. Writing and posting to the forum really did help, just not immediately, and in an unexpected way.

I slept really well last night, without worrying about the situation. I awoke occasionally for short times and did POTS and soon fell back to sleep. When I woke this morning I did POTS and like a flash of illumination, realised one simple thing: thy will be done. I really saw that all my objections to change in my job are in fact childish self-importance; the feeling of entitlement of a stubborn child who thinks he deserves to be given everything on a plate according to his subjective desires, just because he is who he is . . . just as G describes in The First Initiation.

Yesterday before bed I was thinking about asking the DCM for help. I gave serious thought to asking in a way that did not include anticipation, only asking to be attuned with the DCM. In the end I sent a thought to the DCM asking that I would be able to say to the forum that something wonderful had happened. Well, I'm really happy to say that I can make that post this morning.

I had shivers running down my spine while I was making breakfast and thinking about my insight into the childish self-importance I described above. That I could actually see this viscerally, as a structure in my being, and understand that there are other options for living besides this. And that 'thy will be done' is an excellent antidote to self-importance. while at the same time giving a certain faith that things will turn out for the best.

truth seeker said:

Apologies if I've missed it, but have you written about these dreams? If not, can you describe them somewhat - they may provide some clues.

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In the first dream I had gone to a hotel with two male friends. Once in our hotel room, these other two revealed that they had invited three young women to visit, with the sole intention of beating and raping them. I immediately told them I was having no part of this and left. I met an older woman on the stairs and complained to her about the behaviour of these 'friends'. I then found myself in my own hotel room, where there was a fire burning in the grate, and broken glass all over the bed, and on the floor in front of the fire. The sensation of heat and light form the fire was very strong. The bed was just a mattress on the floor with a duvet over it, right next to the fire. As I tried to sweep up the glass into a dustpan, there was fire burning in the dustpan, too.

Then I was outside, and I walked down a small back street into an enclosed courtyard with only one entrance/exit. I just missed an encounter with two very large 'heavies' in dark coats. They were debt collectors who were going to visit someone and do whatever it took to get the money out of this person.

There was more than this I think but I only have a hazy memory of the others. These dreams were charged with a feeling of violence, and I woke feeling rather disturbed.

truth seeker said:

During BaHa, can you say how you knew there was some connection to the job situation? What thoughts, if any, did you have when you were crying?

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Every time I exhaled in time with Laura's voice – when I could, as each round of tears ebbed away – my thoughts were all about loss. Thinking that I had lost something I really liked and loved, something really important. And with each slow exhalation, this feeling rose up from my chest, and welled out in my tears.

truth seeker said:

Also, can you say what it is about the 'makeup' of the people and the atmosphere at location B that bothers you?

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The buildings that contain the flats in Location B were built in the early 1950s, and are rather claustrophobic, with narrow public spaces, little daylight in the entrance lobbies, and general feeling of being rather cramped. Location A is newer (it was completed in the early 1970s), the public spaces are more open and airy, and there is more openness in the grounds. In Location B there are a number of people with mental health issues.

I realise I have a tendency to identify with my place of work, to feel that any subjectively perceived (by my judgement) shortcomings or faults actually reflect on me, more, are in a way a part of me, and would make others think that I should be punished for them. I remember reading that this is one of the effects of growing up in a narcissistic family.

Comparing that feeling of identification and punishment with what my supervisor and boss say to me about my performance, shows that my subjective feeling is completely at odds with what they see and say about me. In fact I have a program that continually tells me that I am no good at my job, and that sooner or later I will be found out. That fear of being found out is another wound from my narcissistic family of origin.

I think this is the crux of the matter – a wounded inner child who has great difficulty setting boundaries, at least internally, between what are the responsibilities of my job, over which I have no control as they were in place before I started, and what is really my 'fault' or responsiblity, as in what I have created or brought about through my own efforts.

I have not created the old buildings, the residents are living there now, before I am even working there, and describing the place as claustrophobic is only my subjective interpretation. And this wounded inner child thinks that I/he should be honoured just for being who I/he is – given what I/he considers is the best place to work, that I/he should be thought of and considered over and above anyone else. What I/he doesn't think of is that others in the same job may well be just as good as I/he at the job.

Palinurus said:

You also could try to make a deal with the person replacing you while ill, or at least try to find out her take on things before the meeting with your boss takes place. Could yield additional arguments for your final presentation.

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That's sound advice and I will try to find out what she thinks of the situation. For all I know she might be thinking that she would like to work at Location B!

Shane said:

Endymion said:

The problem is that I can't figure out if my dislike of Location B is an accurate objective knowing of whether I would enjoy working there, or if it's just an inner child tantrum, so to speak. When I think about being transferred, I notice that there are elements of childishness in the way my objections are phrased mentally.

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I think you might be on to something here. Your positive descriptions of your old job and the objections of the new job do seem to have a child-like quality to them. I haven't heard too many people describe their job 'like home' before so maybe the people and/or environment does carry some childhood projections?

See if you can make any concrete connections with people and feelings in your current situation and your past.

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All the work colleagues at Location A are women, and one in particular is largely on the same wavelength as me. We get along really well, I have a lot of time for her, and we have had some very productive conversations about subjects verging on those we discuss here. The important thing I realised though is that I feel their femininity as motherliness which lets me feel that I am not alone at Location A. I feel safe when they are in the building with me, even though we are in different places or offices in that building. This comes from a fear of having to rely on myself, which is interesting because that is what my job demands of me.

My employer has various policies and procedures that I need to understand so I can work in accordance with them, and I do have a certain insecurity about always being able to remember these things, and meet these expectations. However, I think that this is a conscious belief, and my adaptive unconscious has other ideas, because in practice I don't have a problem with this.

Shane said:

Maybe it would be good to reflect if there were any times during your childhood when you were taken out of the life you loved and had to either move to change things that you made you uncomfortable?

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I remember my first day at nursery. I was about four I think, and I can just remember sitting on the floor, crying uncontrollably, having been left there by my mother, while the nursery attendant tried to get me interested in a toy lorry. I remember the awful feeling of loneliness and loss. That is one of my earliest memories.

I have a tendency to get quite attached to people, places and things. I invest them with meaning – which perhaps in reality they do not have. And then when it is time to leave or change, things can be quite painful, and these old programs are activated.

Shane said:

Endymion said:

I've done dowsing and tarot readings to try and get a handle on the issue. All the results from these two systems have been negative about me working at Location B.

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If there is some subconscious projection going on here, I'd be pretty careful about trusting the results of these readings.

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Yes, I agree with you here. As I was doing these readings and they were all negative I began to suspect that not all was as straightforward as I would have liked.

Shane said:

Who knows, the new job could be a new opportunity for growth. Your employers may have recognized your skills at managing Location A and also see the need for improvement at the other location. It may be a different and new kind of work, but perhaps it's a natural progression from lessons learned? There might also be a lot you could do there for people who are really in need at this new location. And if you are the only person managing things you might be able to have a really positive influence there.

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Well, this morning I realise that it doesn't matter so much where I work – I will essentially be doing the same job. And as I wrote above, I see now that my fear of change and attachment to Location A are derived from self-importance, and lack of trust in the universe, from this sense of entitlement, just because I am me.

So, to come back to the beginning of this post, I woke up with the clear realisation that I could say to the DCM, 'Thy will be done.' That also means that I will do my best in this coming meeting, but I will also have faith in the DCM, that what happens is for the best. And as you wrote, Shane, a 'new job could be a new opportunity for growth'.

Actually I see it this morning as an opportunity for expansion as there will be a lot of new people to get to know. And I'm leaning towards the idea that working at Location B might even be the best thing for me after all!

"What a difference a day makes. Twenty four little hours..." Wasn't there a song about that? _http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVyyyGxWYD8

I'm glad to hear you reached some clarity about your predicament, Endymion. And a pretty coherent report of some of your inner processes too. Very instructive.

I remember my first day at nursery. I was about four I think, and I can just remember sitting on the floor, crying uncontrollably, having been left there by my mother, while the nursery attendant tried to get me interested in a toy lorry. I remember the awful feeling of loneliness and loss. That is one of my earliest memories.

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This remark brought back my own memories of that particular day. Most children were crying just like you, but I did not. I got even praised for that.
It was only when most of them had stopped doing so and a certain calm atmosphere prevailed, that I started crying - just because of the fact that the attendant, a female member of the convent that ran the place, suggested in a rather harsh and commanding way (at least that's how I perceived it at that moment) that 'we are going to sing now together' some sort of religious hymn which seemed totally inappropriate for the occasion.

Needless to say all other children started crying again on my cue and not much came of singing that morning. Hadn't thought of that for ages, so thanks for reviving those memories for me.

Anyway, don't forget to report back with the results after your exchange of views with your boss and all others.

Hi Endymion,

I thought that maybe it is possible that you are needed at location B. Having not worked there maybe you are projecting what it will be like when it might be very good for your career and fulfill your ambitions. Also, it could be a great personal experience too.

Inner child work is not my strong point but I am learning from your thread here. As I am about to get into it allot more.

'Thy will be done'. You are in good hands here, your openness is very inspiring. Thank-you for being a good example.

Keep us posted! :D

truth seeker said:

Since you have no other job in place, if it turns out that you are sent to location B, it may be a good idea to give it a chance. perhaps there are some valuable lessons awaiting and a chance for growth.

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Think Prodigal Son by quoting truth seeker above were my thoughts too in this and you seem to have moved that way as well in your later thinking.

[quote author=Endymion]
Actually I see it this morning as an opportunity for expansion as there will be a lot of new people to get to know. And I'm leaning towards the idea that working at Location B might even be the best thing for me after all![/quote]

Fwiw, was also thinking, should you decide otherwise, that job sharing between A&B might be useful for the both of you or you might suggest at your meeting that you could mentor this other person into site B especially if lets say the orientation of site A (location) works better for your life in general - like distance traveled etc. Nevertheless, sometimes the most feared changes though can offer up many new insights and add much to growth - it is always surprising how sometimes new situations turn out completely as not expected. These situations for me often resemble where my mind thinks, this situation will be ok, as if there is some foreknowledge based on previous experience and other times this will be thought of as difficult. In the end often the opposite is just as true to what I originally thought. Knowing this, it has made it more easy to try what is thought of as more difficult until one actually knows.

Palinurus said:

I'm glad to hear you reached some clarity about your predicament, Endymion. And a pretty coherent report of some of your inner processes too. Very instructive.

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Well, yes, clarity I did reach, but it seems that having the deep insight about the causes of my job issues is one thing, but having seen the cause, the predator's mind/stubborn inner child went into overdrive yesterday. I could hardly function for the onslaught of inner infantile rage about this job issue, thoughts circulating in my mind about the injustice of it all – how it's just NOT FAIR that I . . . I . . . should be shoved out of a job I like and dumped in some dingy place I hate . . . well, you get the picture. And these thoughts were just going on and on . . . and on . . . running like an unstoppable mechanical automatic loop in my mind.

But this article on SoTT, linked to by Shane . . .

Shane said:

Just saw this article on SOTT, which might help:

Writing to Heal

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. . . was really helpful, and I've started a four day writing experiment. I bought a new blank journal for this purpose alone, and I wrote for 30 minutes yesterday which really helped to calm the inner turmoil, and after writing I was able to more peacefully get into other things. This morning I've woken up feeling much more positive and even excited about the idea of working at Location B. In fact I would say that it was only the writing exercise that allowed me to get some perspective on my inner turmoil, and as I wrote I kept returning to the idea of 'thy will be done'.

I do notice however that whenever I feel a little tingle of interest and excitement about working at Location B, the predator rouses itself a bit too. But I think that more writing will help with taming that beast.

Prodigal Son said:

I concur with the above posts re fear of change/comfort and perchance, the Predator's fear of you making new learnings, of growth, of learning more about Truth - whilst all the while being of service to others.

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voyageur said:

Nevertheless, sometimes the most feared changes though can offer up many new insights and add much to growth - it is always surprising how sometimes new situations turn out completely as not expected.

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I'm reading Strangers to Ourselves and Wilson's work reminded me that the two quotes above are spot on. When presented with unavoidable change, I always project my worst fears onto the new situation, and come up with strong, seemingly logical, mental rationalisations and reasons why it would be really really bad for me, and why all those others are to blame for putting me in this predicament. But . . . the mental phrasing of all those rationalisations are in the voice of that stubborn self-important inner child who wants what HE WANTS . . . and that is the only thing that matters. The truth of the matter in this job situation is that when I signed my employment contract I agreed that I could be asked to work at any location within a certain area, in accordance with the needs of the service.

I also realise that after a change - about which I was so negative before it happens – after that change I soon grow used to the new situation, a new routine develops, and after some time it's hard to imagine being anywhere else. And, building on that, insights develop and attachments grow. As Wilson says, we are resilient beings, after all.

So I think that the crux of the matter is this inner battle between stubborn self-importance, and trust in the universe. Experiencing just a few moments of that trust is enough to rouse all the inner issues – self-importance, infantile rage, etc. – that are in opposition to it. The mature approach to this type of situation is 'thy will be done' and acceptance of new situations, and work on the inner issues that arise in relation to external events, and that is the path I am striving to follow.

voyageur said:

In the end often the opposite is just as true to what I originally thought.

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Yes, I have found this myself. In order to remain open to the new situation I'm having to fight against all the things I've described above.

voyageur said:

Knowing this, it has made it more easy to try what is thought of as more difficult until one actually knows.

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That is what I am increasingly thinking about this probable new situation – that I should try it, and remember that I am positive and resourceful, and I can handle the new.

Palinurus said:

"What a difference a day makes. Twenty four little hours..." Wasn't there a song about that? _http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVyyyGxWYD8

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Thanks for the song. I'd not heard Dinah Washington before – they really don't make 'em like they used to! Her rendering of the song is just wonderful.

Endymion said:

Well, yes, clarity I did reach, but it seems that having the deep insight about the causes of my job issues is one thing, but having seen the cause, the predator's mind/stubborn inner child went into overdrive yesterday. I could hardly function for the onslaught of inner infantile rage about this job issue, thoughts circulating in my mind about the injustice of it all – how it's just NOT FAIR that I . . . I . . . should be shoved out of a job I like and dumped in some dingy place I hate . . . well, you get the picture. And these thoughts were just going on and on . . . and on . . . running like an unstoppable mechanical automatic loop in my mind.

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Sounds awfully familiar to me. I really hope your writing exercises will be helpful to get to the bottom of this inner infantile rage. It's my experience that you cannot get rid of the vehemence and the unstoppable automatic loop but only after examining the root cause of it, which probably is some sort of early childhood experience of abandonment or of some forced change that didn't take well with you at the time of occurrence. Really nasty lurkers in the background, those feelings; and easily triggered by any occasion remotely resembling the original feat. I really do sympathise with your current struggle as I know how debilitating at times those preoccupations can be. Keep at it and stay with it, as this seems to be an unsought of opportunity for some real breakthrough of sorts. Take care and try to make the most out of it.

Palinurus said:

Endymion said:

Well, yes, clarity I did reach, but it seems that having the deep insight about the causes of my job issues is one thing, but having seen the cause, the predator's mind/stubborn inner child went into overdrive yesterday. I could hardly function for the onslaught of inner infantile rage about this job issue, thoughts circulating in my mind about the injustice of it all – how it's just NOT FAIR that I . . . I . . . should be shoved out of a job I like and dumped in some dingy place I hate . . . well, you get the picture. And these thoughts were just going on and on . . . and on . . . running like an unstoppable mechanical automatic loop in my mind.

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... It's my experience that you can[not] get rid of the vehemence and the unstoppable automatic loop but only after examining the root cause of it, which probably is some sort of early childhood experience of abandonment or of some forced change that didn't take well with you at the time of occurrence. Really nasty lurkers in the background, those feelings; and easily triggered by any occasion remotely resembling the original feat. ... Keep at it and stay with it, as this seems to be an unsought of opportunity for some real breakthrough of sorts. Take care and try to make the most out of it.

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I concur with the above comment, from my experience of doing Time Line Therapy with coachees, what is most important is getting to the learning that is at the root cause (preferably at a conscious level) of the problem, the reason for doing whatever you did at that time. As an alternative scenario, you may like to consider if trauma was involved - in which case Levine's somatic therapy may give you the desired result (with the learnings probably kept unconscious).

I thought it was time to give an update. I'm back at work and slowly increasing my hours. I should be back to full time work in a few more weeks. I'm working at Location A, too. In fact it turns out that some of the residents of the housing complex I manage drew up a petition asking to have me back there (Location A). The petition was given to my manager, but he hasn't mentioned it to me.

The meeting where I was expecting to have to defend my job was postponed for a couple of weeks, but I had actually got the wrong end of the stick. I had a strong emotional reaction returning to work and became very stressed about being assigned to Location B. I had a long talk with my manager about it, the outcome of which was a much better understanding of the factors that he needed to take into account when deciding who would work where, which resulted on my part in a more peaceful attitude to the whole thing.

The person who was working at Location A has now moved to Location B as of Monday 30 January, and I am really enjoying getting to grips with my job again. After my episode of post-viral fatigue, my stamina is increasing just about daily now, thanks to Qi Gong, regular walks and the paleo diet.

Great to hear things are turning out well, Endymion. Thanks for the update. :)