On Tuesday this week I got gastric flu.
I can not recall any specifically dangerous moment when I could catch it. My family is clear and still doing fine.
Dream in background
Before the day gastric flu started I had one dream in a series of different dreams which was particularly not pleasent.
I was in some room with some creatures (maybe two of them). I do not remember them in fact but they left some horrible impression after I woke up.
One of them touched my larynx in cricoid cartilage (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Larynx_external_en.svg)
This was really not nice feeling. I was trying in the dream to feel anger and to protest but lost that memory though. I hope it is not related! :)
How to survive then, when I am not aware of so many things possibly influencing my life?
How to protect health / life if I do not know so many things around?
Related thought
Breaking health experiences are directing me in special way of thinking which is:
1. First - to survive! (at least it is going for more than one year from time of my first hospital visit)
And also:
what is the most important thing to remember always?
Now I was seating and scanning fora for gastric flu. Well - got several answers but which way my body goes?
In moments like this I feel so miserably stupid. Like a cow going to be eaten soon and completely not aware of what is going on outside it's meadow.
I felt like this after having dream with somebody invading my space and me not able to protect it.
So what is the most important thing at least for now?
To survive
But how?
.... I do not know. I listen to other "cows" :). I make assumptions. Try them and hope there will be enough time to test them.
Trying not to believe although believe is coming back stronger in time of illness. It is much easier to believe when I am sick.
I make work assumption that:
even if I try really hard I am possibly facing forces which I may compare situation to a cow trying to escape her meadow from human control.
(Again dream inspiration.)
So what?
Am I sentenced? Is it over?
Do I have control over anything in this life?
If I had control over anything it would be my... thoughts? No. Or maybe to some limited degree. But I have control over my decision. Even if I am faced with two same terrible scenarios ending with death (for example) I still may choose.
But what may I choose?
I think that one of those things is silence. I may face reality with silence no matter what is going to happen.
I think I may choose what I believe in although it is a bit higher level skill :) ? I do not know.
I may choose if I want to stick to my life and be worry that I loose it (someday) or I may take what is now and if "now" is "dying" then take that "dying" with most possbile joy of experiencing "my life now", only that one moment now.
Again taking this analogy with cows:
Why cows are not killed at once when they show some signs of insubordination or are they?
Today I had another dream which left impression that somebody was removing some part of my fore lobe of my right hemisphere. Not nice! I was trying to awake in my dream but could not. After I woke up I was content that it was “only a dream”. But was it? Why something / someone is invading my space?
What could that mean if it happened in “real” life?
Maybe one is that my security around my home is to weak?
Two, that somebody let in an unwanted guest.
Three, that I let them in thinking for example that they were friends.
Four, simply they had keys and no one let them in.
What does it mean when I loose part of my right fore lobe?
It is associated with emotions, creativity, problem solving, seeing consequences, social and sexual behavior.
Because it was invasion and not my decision I take it as aggressive act. I was forced to have new reality. Degraded reality?
What if I am doing it to myself? Am I degrading my right brain? Am I using it with force like an invader?
...raping the maden of the well
So, am I disturbing myself to survive?
What about first dream "invasion"? Could that be also me?
This is hard to answer.
What that place on larynx could mean?
One I associate possibly with throat chakra.
What act is that in particular? Is that lying? Is that expressing myself?
And that in consequence is impairing my information seeking, truth assimilation?
It happend that I dreamed it before my flu started. Could that be also related?
Something strikes and have effect when there is ready mechanism to make that effect happen. ? ...
Well, I do not know. Not trying to say that that dream in particular triggered illness. Maybe it was just coincidence?
Something in dream world was similar to this world? Then what?
Analogy: how above, so below?
What I may do whit those hypotheses?
If it was lying and not honest expressing myself then what was that in a fact?
Maybe just a decision to not to be honest and to protect my left brain constructs is enough to make such an imbalance?
And then intestines.
Are they somehow related to all mentioned above. The gut. The brain. The larynx.
Brain and larynx in dreams. Gut in real.
Gut is filtering food. Assimilates good things and not allows to enter bed things. The door through which outside world is coming in "digested" form. Well, in fact this is not first door however.
Assimilation is impaired. Assimilation of outside world for my own purposes. Purposes of development and survival.
Another hypothesis:
Is that like that that my gut may be attacked because it is already weak and it is week because of my decisions made.
And my decisions may be influenced by weakening of my gut?
Need to study this maiden thing more.
Going to sleep now. Answering to myself maybe inspired someone with some thoughts? Bye.
I can not recall any specifically dangerous moment when I could catch it. My family is clear and still doing fine.
Dream in background
Before the day gastric flu started I had one dream in a series of different dreams which was particularly not pleasent.
I was in some room with some creatures (maybe two of them). I do not remember them in fact but they left some horrible impression after I woke up.
One of them touched my larynx in cricoid cartilage (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Larynx_external_en.svg)
This was really not nice feeling. I was trying in the dream to feel anger and to protest but lost that memory though. I hope it is not related! :)
How to survive then, when I am not aware of so many things possibly influencing my life?
How to protect health / life if I do not know so many things around?
Related thought
Breaking health experiences are directing me in special way of thinking which is:
1. First - to survive! (at least it is going for more than one year from time of my first hospital visit)
And also:
what is the most important thing to remember always?
Now I was seating and scanning fora for gastric flu. Well - got several answers but which way my body goes?
In moments like this I feel so miserably stupid. Like a cow going to be eaten soon and completely not aware of what is going on outside it's meadow.
I felt like this after having dream with somebody invading my space and me not able to protect it.
So what is the most important thing at least for now?
To survive
But how?
.... I do not know. I listen to other "cows" :). I make assumptions. Try them and hope there will be enough time to test them.
Trying not to believe although believe is coming back stronger in time of illness. It is much easier to believe when I am sick.
I make work assumption that:
even if I try really hard I am possibly facing forces which I may compare situation to a cow trying to escape her meadow from human control.
(Again dream inspiration.)
So what?
Am I sentenced? Is it over?
Do I have control over anything in this life?
If I had control over anything it would be my... thoughts? No. Or maybe to some limited degree. But I have control over my decision. Even if I am faced with two same terrible scenarios ending with death (for example) I still may choose.
But what may I choose?
I think that one of those things is silence. I may face reality with silence no matter what is going to happen.
I think I may choose what I believe in although it is a bit higher level skill :) ? I do not know.
I may choose if I want to stick to my life and be worry that I loose it (someday) or I may take what is now and if "now" is "dying" then take that "dying" with most possbile joy of experiencing "my life now", only that one moment now.
Again taking this analogy with cows:
Why cows are not killed at once when they show some signs of insubordination or are they?
Today I had another dream which left impression that somebody was removing some part of my fore lobe of my right hemisphere. Not nice! I was trying to awake in my dream but could not. After I woke up I was content that it was “only a dream”. But was it? Why something / someone is invading my space?
What could that mean if it happened in “real” life?
Maybe one is that my security around my home is to weak?
Two, that somebody let in an unwanted guest.
Three, that I let them in thinking for example that they were friends.
Four, simply they had keys and no one let them in.
What does it mean when I loose part of my right fore lobe?
It is associated with emotions, creativity, problem solving, seeing consequences, social and sexual behavior.
Because it was invasion and not my decision I take it as aggressive act. I was forced to have new reality. Degraded reality?
What if I am doing it to myself? Am I degrading my right brain? Am I using it with force like an invader?
RyanX said:
...raping the maden of the well
So, am I disturbing myself to survive?
What about first dream "invasion"? Could that be also me?
This is hard to answer.
What that place on larynx could mean?
One I associate possibly with throat chakra.
OK. Taking it as working hypothesis. If that is me who badly touch that spot, then is that related to again aggressive act of "Left Brainer"?
What act is that in particular? Is that lying? Is that expressing myself?
And that in consequence is impairing my information seeking, truth assimilation?
It happend that I dreamed it before my flu started. Could that be also related?
Something strikes and have effect when there is ready mechanism to make that effect happen. ? ...
Well, I do not know. Not trying to say that that dream in particular triggered illness. Maybe it was just coincidence?
Something in dream world was similar to this world? Then what?
Analogy: how above, so below?
What I may do whit those hypotheses?
If it was lying and not honest expressing myself then what was that in a fact?
Maybe just a decision to not to be honest and to protect my left brain constructs is enough to make such an imbalance?
And then intestines.
Are they somehow related to all mentioned above. The gut. The brain. The larynx.
Brain and larynx in dreams. Gut in real.
Gut is filtering food. Assimilates good things and not allows to enter bed things. The door through which outside world is coming in "digested" form. Well, in fact this is not first door however.
Assimilation is impaired. Assimilation of outside world for my own purposes. Purposes of development and survival.
Another hypothesis:
Is that like that that my gut may be attacked because it is already weak and it is week because of my decisions made.
And my decisions may be influenced by weakening of my gut?
Need to study this maiden thing more.
Going to sleep now. Answering to myself maybe inspired someone with some thoughts? Bye.
