Cassiopaean Sandbox > What's on your mind
At another cross roads...
KristinLynne:
You know guys the more I have read of the materials... the more I've come to look at the members of this form as the Library of Minds and the Warrior for Souls. I sometime read the discouragement of people having to live the two separate lives between the illusion and the real one and have felt the same off and on through out my life. But each of you have made a difference, however small, to do the right things but study them first and then testing them later.
This is why I feel comfortable enough to ask for an opinion... although it is still hard for me because my problems seem so small compared to what I read that some of you are struggling with. But I am at another cross roads in my life with no idea of what to do next. The long and short of it is...
After my son died in 08 and my savings were drained I was forced to default on my mortgage and credit card and move in with my long time friend. I've been helping him since then and have invested some of the money from my sons lawsuit into his business which vetted long after my default. Things are stalled here and now I must make a decision to leave because it has become clear that my friend does not intend to hold up his end of the bargain. Yes it is hurtful because it is so unnecessary but I think the repayment won't be a problem... but we shall see.
Our problems were more of a personal nature and while I will always be grateful for his help it is time to move on. He is firmly in the matrix and I respect that but I would like to be free. The problem is it will take some time for us to work this out, but in the mean time I have to decide where to go. He is my last tie to this area and there is no other support system available. I've lived in NC all my life and know that this will be the next fresh start and would like to get out of this state. But having read that many of the places around the world are in their own personal hell of sorts, I am at a loss at to which direction to turn... in more ways that one.
I had always had a dream about buying a small RV and just traveling around the states, working odd jobs for food and gas but realize that is probably foolish at this time. Especially being a lone female in new surroundings. But the point I guess is, I won't have a lot of money but I do want to make the best use of what is left.
I've been on my own for a long time but it really is different now. My family disintegrated after Trey's death and I have taken the time to heal as much as possible but it has left me without friends because it was so hard to reach out during the process. I am truly at a loss and would greatly appreciate any ideas. Thank you for listening...
bngenoh:
Hi KristinLynne,
From my experience when faced with a crossroads, it has helped me greatly to meditate and just open myself to whatever life has to teach me, the answer will come if you are open and discerning.
Hope that helped. :hug2:
Mrs. Peel:
--- Quote from: KristinLynne on May 01, 2012, 05:34:51 AM ---Our problems were more of a personal nature and while I will always be grateful for his help it is time to move on. He is firmly in the matrix and I respect that but I would like to be free. The problem is it will take some time for us to work this out, but in the mean time I have to decide where to go. He is my last tie to this area and there is no other support system available. I've lived in NC all my life and know that this will be the next fresh start and would like to get out of this state. But having read that many of the places around the world are in their own personal hell of sorts, I am at a loss at to which direction to turn... in more ways that one.
--- End quote ---
By NC do you mean "North Carolina?" There are pockets of Forum members across the U.S., there is a group in the NYC area, in MA, and now near Baltimore. Unless you are comtemplating a move out of the country...
Laura:
Can you afford to support yourself at present? What are your job skills?
Foxx:
--- Quote from: KristinLynne on May 01, 2012, 05:34:51 AM ---This is why I feel comfortable enough to ask for an opinion... although it is still hard for me because my problems seem so small compared to what I read that some of you are struggling with. But I am at another cross roads in my life with no idea of what to do next. The long and short of it is...
--- End quote ---
I don't recall the exact quote (and didn't find it after a quick search), but I recall the Cs saying something along the lines of "a question unasked is a problem unsolved"--no need to worry about your problem feeling small! It sounds like it feels pretty big to you, and that's what matters, I think.
It's certainly a tough question for where to go. I've been contemplating this myself lately and haven't come to any clear answers. If you feel strongly about getting an RV and traveling, I don't see it as necessarily problematic or from flawed thinking. Traveling does have its ups and downs though and getting odd jobs might be challenging. I've heard some women talk about getting larger sized dogs which provides them a sense of security and may make them less of a target (and be nice traveling companions), FWIW. Have you ever traveled much? Maybe it's not a permanent solution, but it could be an enjoyable time and a growing experience for a while. And what is a permanent solution these days, anyway? That's my current thinking, which could certainly be flawed itself.
I recently changed living situations and am visiting a community I lived at in Virginia (having basically no idea where I was going to go after or what I was going to do when leaving my other situation) and ended up getting an online job I was seeking to get for about 6 months the day after I arrived. The living situation is unresolved as I'll have to leave here at some point within the next couple of months, but perhaps the universe does reward action, even if you don't know where it's going to take you?
I hope this helps and that you find an answer in yourself to your question :)
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