And I think I made a wee mistake by suggesting that when she messaged me on FB recently, that she called me by an affectionate name we used to share. What I meant to say is that she brought that name up by referencing it to an actual location, whereby she found out and had to tell me about it. Kinda silly but it was very cute. So yeah I don't know what tha was about. A friendly hello, what you up to? That's what she may genuinely think as most of us truly believe that our actions are harmless. The road to hell and all that.
From my experience, this is part pf the stuff that comes up with these types of situations - the little in jokes that only the two of you know about. Like some kind of secret club. These types of things make us feel special, that we share a bond with them that no one else has. Basically they're little hooks.
So it was just a general hello, as she intended, but for me, I saw it as an attempt to get back in touch again somewhat, with the general feeling that something may come of it?
I don't understand the little 'hook' though. What is the purpose of this? If it was just a hello what you up to thing, couldn't you just say hey how you doing?
Perhaps I'm not actually listening to what you are saying truth seeker. It seems like I cannot fathom that she Hasn't moved on when in my experience, it seems like she has. There is a disconnect here that is very disconcerting. In any case, it is bad for both of us to remain friends on FB? What do I tell her if I unfriend her? I really find the idea of unfriending her, Very difficult. It is a source of great resistance within me. I want to know how she really feels before I just break off all contact forever.
Apologies if I was unclear. What seems to be happening is that she's giving mixed messages. If I understood you correctly, she didn't want to meet up but at the same time wants to maintain contact. This may be the source of your confusion.
Yes, it confuses me why she still wants to maintain contact, for me it is important to understand this in the context of the work.
I can't tell you what to do regarding fb. I also wouldn't classify it as 'bad'. What I will say is that things like email, texts, social networking can still be a source of feeding - it's still a connection whether physical or otherwise that leaves one open to general law. You may want to write (in a journal) about why you feel resistant to completely breaking this connection.
I just noticed Anarts post, and in relation to that, I guess I base my self worth and self esteem on her. Even if I had managed to 'get over' her, I probably Subconsciously done things that would please her, or make her happy, even though obviously she isn't in my life physically. Like FB updates relating ambiguously to some event we shared even though I'll posit that it's of my own will. She seems to be in my psyche and as strange as it sounds, it feels like I am controlled by the ghost of her in the past. A lot of things in my life could be related to this dynamic.
I just feel like she was the only one who ever accepted me for who I really was. And I felt guilty for not realising this and treating her like real rubbish. Only after had we broke up, did I realise what a gift of spirit she was, she brightens up everyones day.
You may also want to take note that you seem to be basing what you do on what she says/does. By doing that, you're avoiding taking responsibility for your actions. I understand that on some level, you may be feeling that you're leaving her again but in reality, it doesn't seem as if you ever really let go - the only thing that changed is the form it took.
Yes. This could be true. I don't know what to do with myself though as probably everything I do, Is based on this projection of her in my mind. How do I know this for sure though? What process do I have to do in order to understand if it's true? That's actually quite a scary thought. It ties in with concepts from the wave and 4d STS.
Leaving a relationship doesn't mean that you're abandoning them (in this specific instance), what you're really doing is acting in favor of your destiny and unbeknownst to you at this point, her own as well.
I could be helping her by myself unfriending her? So that blocking off all Communication helps the both of us? She will wonder why I cut off all ties and In her head may associate that with, well I dunno.
I know actions count more than words, but I have a real difficult time understanding why I should break off all contact. I think she might be hurt by that.
Sounds like a 'be nice' program at work. It also sounds as if you're using this program to either avoid the very uncomfortable feeling you may have towards ending it. What is it that you're truly afraid to give up?
edit: added a sentence for clarity
Her, I guess. Afraid that if I let go, I have nothing real of my self.