paralleloscope
The Living Force
A simple book about the development of manhood, interpreted via archetypes, myths and fairytales, and in in particular through the parable ’Iron John’ [Eisen Hans] as told by brothers Grimm. Iron John is an archtype characterized as the ’wild man’, an element which is missing in many ways in modern male development.
Robert Bly starts out by outlining the change from the 50’s non-crying and bread-winning american role model to the 60’s softer male, which he connects to the awareness of the women's movement and and of lies of the Vietnam war. Men started on a large scale to explore their feminine side, denouncing patriarchal violence (which Bly describes as non matured male-hood, he doesn’t describe pathology) and in general also started recognizing deeper values of women, and outwardly becoming gentler and more thoughtful. The book picks up on the now well spread ’soft male’ type in the 90’s , who has become more sympathetic to the universe and ’holistically thinking’, but something still didn’t seem right. This male role, though having become receptive didn’t seem able to give life. The new soft masculine mode had adopted the findings of the feminine exploration, and while women were gaining new found strength many also started preferring the new soft male.
Yet the new sensitive mode made it clear that there was an immense grief (from both sexes) of ’too little father’, as well as some misfit for the male psyche with the borrowed feminine suit of strengths. The tables had in some ways turned on who could be fierce and demonstrate resolve. Males became in many ways paralyzed to matters of the world and compensated for the missing elements with ascendant flight of mind, much in line with the sanitized and emasculated male spiritual icons of modern age.
Our modern western culture has of course forgotten everything about the importance of maturity and knowledge of growing up and what forces need to confronted in puberty, where the boy is naturally trying to challenge the lay of lands (to cut the cord to the protective mother) and take a radical step toward becoming a man. But the traditional knowledge given by a community of older and wiser men is not there, as they, along with the guiding father figure have disappeared alongside industrialized society, where the father was taken away from the family. It became rarer for the father to teach the son a trade and ways to be a man other than haphazardly and in stereotypical notions. Bly makes a point that if we are to make room for our own positive male values we must also recognize the positive in our own dad and earlier generations (despite their narcissism and immaturity), which have been clouded and teased out of us through especially the media, which in many ways up through the 20th century generally has portrayed the father as incompetent.
The (missing) initiation into manhood in a nutshell is about breaking with the mothers safety and protection, being set apart and introduced to what it means being a male, taking care of business, bringing nourishment, becoming aware of the pain of embodiment and male separation (a concept and knowing the family/tribe/culture’s legacy, history and what it holds sacred, bonding with the natural environment of which one is a part of.
Since above scenario of father bonding is a rare one these days, either because dad is away at the office factory and/or he is too narcissistic to let the son come this close, there is ample chance the boy develops a passive, numb and naive approach to life, from being unable to disengage from being wrapped up in the mothers protective influence as well as still holding the adult optic on emotional perception, especially upon the father, which will reinforce gender misunderstandings as well as his twisting his odds in own man/fatherhood. The chapter on Naivety is very interesting and ties in with shameful narcissistic wounds, denial, gullibility, sincerity with everyone, wishful thinking, lack of boundaries and covert depression.
The fairytale of Iron John starts with a brave hunter who is summoned by a king to go capture whatever force is swallowing animals and humans in the nearby forest. The perpetrator Iron John, a great hairy wild man, is retrieved from the bottom of a pond by emptying it, and locked in a cage in the middle of the castle courtyard. The young prince of the castle’s golden ball rolls into the cage and Iron John offers him a deal; the ball for the key to the cage, which is hidden below the queens pillow. The young prince retrieves the key and unlocks the cage and his finger is hurt. The prince decides to run away with Iron John as the punishment for dispelling the kings display of the caged wild man would be severe.
Iron John or the hairy wild man archetype is described as primal, sexual (not possesive), instinctive or ’deep male’ , which is not scared of risk taking or sticking out. The boy (prince) accepts the wild mans mentorship by running away with him from the castle (society segregated from nature), but only after loosing his golden ball (childhoods perceived unity of person), acknowledging that it had gone and making the sacrifice of taking the key below mothers pillow (cutting away from mothers posessiveness) and receiving the symbolical childhood wounding (finger).
The boy is given tests which he fails and must part from living with Iron John in the forest, but not without seeing something in his own nature and acquired golden hair (spiritual strength which must remain hidden until the time is ripe wield it with a mature mind). The hooded boy sets off to a town and castle and starts making his way at the lowest rung in society (kitchen duty) in a nearby town. This stage is called the road of ashes; being taken underground to pay ones dues, working ones way up in society and ’learning to shudder’ (developing conscience). In a parallel vein there is the theme of katabasis; descent from former high status to a lower one, to deflate ones grandiosity, inflated ideas and other illusions, (re)learning the basics.
The boy develops through other stages like 'the garden' (developing and refining knowledge and being) and developing relationships with archetypes like the warrior, the lover, and the king (on different levels and orientations) before he can emerge as a man to stand on his own, but only with help of Iron John (healthy and tuned instincts).
What the essence of masculine is, is still kind of blurry to me, apart from some sense of being protector, provider, and progenitor. The book describes the man as set apart, from the woman and family, on the perimeter of the family. Whether or not that is a natural state of masculine energy, I don't know. The book's mix of archetypes and anecdotes was interesting and came at the right moment for me, with standing questions on how to connect with injured instincts. And especially curious about male identity from following quote in the covert depression:
The book is informative on why masculinity has become an abstract thing based on flimsy stereotypes (and why it means not being a woman) because of the missing education and guidance. Well, along with the unconscious way we bring up our children; no notion of what is good for them and instead give them: TV, crap diets, mind-programming schools and other undigested lies. Genders are to be complementary, not identical, as the current cultural programming goes with its push to make genders equal (the false androgyne).
Robert Bly starts out by outlining the change from the 50’s non-crying and bread-winning american role model to the 60’s softer male, which he connects to the awareness of the women's movement and and of lies of the Vietnam war. Men started on a large scale to explore their feminine side, denouncing patriarchal violence (which Bly describes as non matured male-hood, he doesn’t describe pathology) and in general also started recognizing deeper values of women, and outwardly becoming gentler and more thoughtful. The book picks up on the now well spread ’soft male’ type in the 90’s , who has become more sympathetic to the universe and ’holistically thinking’, but something still didn’t seem right. This male role, though having become receptive didn’t seem able to give life. The new soft masculine mode had adopted the findings of the feminine exploration, and while women were gaining new found strength many also started preferring the new soft male.
Yet the new sensitive mode made it clear that there was an immense grief (from both sexes) of ’too little father’, as well as some misfit for the male psyche with the borrowed feminine suit of strengths. The tables had in some ways turned on who could be fierce and demonstrate resolve. Males became in many ways paralyzed to matters of the world and compensated for the missing elements with ascendant flight of mind, much in line with the sanitized and emasculated male spiritual icons of modern age.
Our modern western culture has of course forgotten everything about the importance of maturity and knowledge of growing up and what forces need to confronted in puberty, where the boy is naturally trying to challenge the lay of lands (to cut the cord to the protective mother) and take a radical step toward becoming a man. But the traditional knowledge given by a community of older and wiser men is not there, as they, along with the guiding father figure have disappeared alongside industrialized society, where the father was taken away from the family. It became rarer for the father to teach the son a trade and ways to be a man other than haphazardly and in stereotypical notions. Bly makes a point that if we are to make room for our own positive male values we must also recognize the positive in our own dad and earlier generations (despite their narcissism and immaturity), which have been clouded and teased out of us through especially the media, which in many ways up through the 20th century generally has portrayed the father as incompetent.
The (missing) initiation into manhood in a nutshell is about breaking with the mothers safety and protection, being set apart and introduced to what it means being a male, taking care of business, bringing nourishment, becoming aware of the pain of embodiment and male separation (a concept and knowing the family/tribe/culture’s legacy, history and what it holds sacred, bonding with the natural environment of which one is a part of.
Robert Bly said:
Since above scenario of father bonding is a rare one these days, either because dad is away at the office factory and/or he is too narcissistic to let the son come this close, there is ample chance the boy develops a passive, numb and naive approach to life, from being unable to disengage from being wrapped up in the mothers protective influence as well as still holding the adult optic on emotional perception, especially upon the father, which will reinforce gender misunderstandings as well as his twisting his odds in own man/fatherhood. The chapter on Naivety is very interesting and ties in with shameful narcissistic wounds, denial, gullibility, sincerity with everyone, wishful thinking, lack of boundaries and covert depression.
The fairytale of Iron John starts with a brave hunter who is summoned by a king to go capture whatever force is swallowing animals and humans in the nearby forest. The perpetrator Iron John, a great hairy wild man, is retrieved from the bottom of a pond by emptying it, and locked in a cage in the middle of the castle courtyard. The young prince of the castle’s golden ball rolls into the cage and Iron John offers him a deal; the ball for the key to the cage, which is hidden below the queens pillow. The young prince retrieves the key and unlocks the cage and his finger is hurt. The prince decides to run away with Iron John as the punishment for dispelling the kings display of the caged wild man would be severe.
Iron John or the hairy wild man archetype is described as primal, sexual (not possesive), instinctive or ’deep male’ , which is not scared of risk taking or sticking out. The boy (prince) accepts the wild mans mentorship by running away with him from the castle (society segregated from nature), but only after loosing his golden ball (childhoods perceived unity of person), acknowledging that it had gone and making the sacrifice of taking the key below mothers pillow (cutting away from mothers posessiveness) and receiving the symbolical childhood wounding (finger).
The boy is given tests which he fails and must part from living with Iron John in the forest, but not without seeing something in his own nature and acquired golden hair (spiritual strength which must remain hidden until the time is ripe wield it with a mature mind). The hooded boy sets off to a town and castle and starts making his way at the lowest rung in society (kitchen duty) in a nearby town. This stage is called the road of ashes; being taken underground to pay ones dues, working ones way up in society and ’learning to shudder’ (developing conscience). In a parallel vein there is the theme of katabasis; descent from former high status to a lower one, to deflate ones grandiosity, inflated ideas and other illusions, (re)learning the basics.
The boy develops through other stages like 'the garden' (developing and refining knowledge and being) and developing relationships with archetypes like the warrior, the lover, and the king (on different levels and orientations) before he can emerge as a man to stand on his own, but only with help of Iron John (healthy and tuned instincts).
What the essence of masculine is, is still kind of blurry to me, apart from some sense of being protector, provider, and progenitor. The book describes the man as set apart, from the woman and family, on the perimeter of the family. Whether or not that is a natural state of masculine energy, I don't know. The book's mix of archetypes and anecdotes was interesting and came at the right moment for me, with standing questions on how to connect with injured instincts. And especially curious about male identity from following quote in the covert depression:
I don't Want to Talk About It said:
The book is informative on why masculinity has become an abstract thing based on flimsy stereotypes (and why it means not being a woman) because of the missing education and guidance. Well, along with the unconscious way we bring up our children; no notion of what is good for them and instead give them: TV, crap diets, mind-programming schools and other undigested lies. Genders are to be complementary, not identical, as the current cultural programming goes with its push to make genders equal (the false androgyne).
