These steps are an adaptation to the healing of addiction of the Four Step method
developed by Dr. Jeffrey Schwartz at UCLA for the treatment of OCD. They may be
used not just for OCD or addiction, but for any compulsive, repetitive and self deprecating,
self-harming thought pattern.
The four steps should be practiced daily at least once, but also whenever an addictive
impulse or self-undermining belief pulls you so strongly that you are tempted to act it
out—or if you are just mentally stuck in such a pattern. Find a place to sit and write:
preferably a quiet place, however even a bus stop will do if that’s where you happen to
be when the addictive urge arises. You’ll want to keep a journal of this process, so
carrying a small note book with you is an excellent aid.
Step 1: Relabel
In Step 1 you label the addictive/self-deprecating thought or urge exactly for what
it is, and not mistake it for reality.
When we relabel, we give up the language of need. I say to myself: “I don’t need to
purchase anything now or to eat anything now; I’m only having an obsessive thought
that I have such a need. It’s not a real, objective need but a false belief. I may have a
feeling of urgency, but there is actually nothing urgent going on.” Or, “it’s not true that
I’m a weak person,” or “it’s not true that I can never succeed, it’s just a belief,” or, “it’s
not true I am responsible for everything, it’s only an idea in my mind.” Or, “it’s not true
that I’m unworthy…” etc.
Essential to the first step, as to all the steps, is conscious awareness. It is conscious
intention and attention, not just rote repetition that will result in beneficial changes to
brain patterns, thoughts and behaviours. Be fully aware of the sense of urgency that
attends the impulse and keep labeling it as a manifestation of addiction rather than any
reality that you must act upon. “In Relabeling,” writes Dr. Schwartz, “you bring into play
the Impartial Spectator, a concept that Adam Smith used as the central feature of his
book, The Theory of Moral Sentiments. He defined the Impartial Spectator as the
capacity to stand outside yourself and watch yourself in action, which is essentially the
same mental action as the ancient Buddhist concept of mindful awareness.”
The point of Relabeling is not to make the addictive urge or compulsive thought
disappear—it’s not going to, at least not for a long time, since it was wired into
the brain long ago. It is strengthened every time a person gives in to it—and also
every time one tries forcibly to suppress it. The point is to observe it with conscious
attention without assigning the habitual meaning to it. It is no longer a “need,” only a
dysfunctional thought. Rest assured, the urge will come back—and again you relabel it
with dogged determination and with mindful awareness. “Conscious attention must be
paid”, Jeffrey Schwartz suggests. “Therein lies the key. Physical changes in the brain
depend for their creation on a mental state in the mind—the state called attention.
Paying attention matters.”
Step 2: Reattribute
“In Reattribute you learn to place the blame squarely on your brain. This is my
brain sending me a false message.” This step is designed to assign the relabeled
compulsion to act or think in a certain way to its proper source.
In Step 1 you recognized that the compulsion to engage in the addictive behaviour or
self-damaging thought pattern does not express a real need or anything that “must”
happen, only a false belief. In Step 2 you state very clearly where that urge originated:
in neurological circuits that were programmed into your brain long ago, when you were
a child. It represents a dopamine or endorphin “hunger” on the part of brain systems
that, early in your life, lacked the necessary conditions for their full development. It also
represents emotional needs that went unsatisfied.
Reattribution is directly linked with compassionate curiosity towards the self. Instead of
blaming yourself for having addictive thoughts or desires, you calmly ask why these
desires have exercised such a powerful hold over you. “Because they are deeply
ingrained in my brain and because they are easily triggered whenever I’m stressed or
fatigued or unhappy or bored.” The compulsion says nothing about you as a person; it
is not a moral failure or a character weakness, just the effect of circumstances over
which you had no control. What you do have some control over is how you respond to
the compulsion or negative belief in the present. You were not responsible for the
stressful circumstances that shaped your brain and worldview, but you can take
responsibility now.
Step 3: Refocus
In the Refocus step you buy yourself time.
Although the compulsion to open the bag of cookies or to turn on the TV or to drive to
the store or the casino is powerful, its shelf life is not permanent. Being a mindphantom,
it will pass and you have to give it time to pass. The key principle here, Dr.
Schwartz points out, is this: “It’s not how you feel; it’s what you do that counts.”
Rather than engage in the addictive activity or indulge in the negative self-talk, find
something else to do. Your initial goal is modest: buy yourself just fifteen minutes.
Choose something that you enjoy and that will keep you active: preferably something
healthy and creative, but anything that will please you without causing greater harm.
Instead of giving in to the siren call of the addiction or sinking into the familiar despair
of negative self-belief, go for a walk. if you “need” to drive to the casino, turn on the TV.
If you “need” to watch television, put on some music. If you “need” to buy music, get
on your exercise bike. Whatever gets you through the night—or at least through the
next fifteen minutes. “Early in therapy,” advises Jeffrey Schwartz, “physical activity
seems to be especially helpful. But the important thing is that whatever activity you
choose, it must be something you enjoy doing.”
In the case of self-deprecating thought patterns, you may wish to refocus on what is
loving and alive in your life, on possibilities you have fulfilled or have glimpsed, on what
you have contributed to yourself or to others, on people you have loved or have offered
you love.
The purpose of Refocus is to teach your brain that it doesn’t have to obey the
addictive call. It can exercise the “free won’t.” It can choose something else.
Perhaps in the beginning you can’t even hold out for fifteen minutes—fine. Make it five,
and record it in a journal as a success. Next time, try for six minutes, or sixteen. This is
not a hundred-meter dash you have to win, but a marathon you are training for. The
successes will come in increments.
Once again, with self-negating thought patterns, refocus by recalling (and writing
down) aspects of your life where you have honoured yourself, times when you have
stood authentically in your true power, when you have spoken your truth, when you
have acted out of genuine regard for yourself and/others.
Step 4: Revalue
This step should really be called Devalue. Its purpose is to help you drive into
your own thick skull just what has been the real impact of the addictive urge or
self-demeaning thought in your life: disaster.
The addicted mind has been fooled into making the object of your addiction the
highest priority. Addiction has taken over your attachment/reward and incentive/
motivation circuits. Where love and vitality should be, addiction roosts. The distorted
brain circuit shave you believe that experiences that can authentically only come from
genuine intimacy or creativity or honest endeavour will be yours for the taking through
addiction. In the Revalue step you devalue the false gold. You assign to it its proper
worth: worse than nothing.
What has this addictive urge done for me, you ask. It has caused me to spend money
heedlessly, or to stuff myself when I wasn’t hungry, or to be absent from the ones that I
love, to take on tasks that have stressed me, or to expend my energies on activities I
later regretted. It has wasted my time. It has led me to lie and to cheat and to pretend
—first to myself, and then to everyone close to me. It has left me feeling ashamed and
isolated. It promised joy and delivered bitterness. The real “value” of my addictive
compulsion has been that it has caused me to betray my true values.
Be conscious as you write this out—and do write it out, several times a day if
necessary. Be specific: what has been the value of the urge in your relationship
with your wife? Your husband? Your partner, your best friend, your children, your boss,
your employees, your co-workers? What happened yesterday when you allowed the
urge to rule you? What happened last week? What will happen today? Pay close
attention to what you feel when you recall these events and when you foresee what’s
ahead if you persist in permitting the compulsion to overpower you. Be aware. That
awareness will be your guardian.
Do all this without judging yourself. You are gathering information, not conducting
a criminal trial against yourself. Jesus said: “If you bring forth what is within you,
what you have will save you.”1 That is true in so many ways. Within you is knowledge
of the real value of the impulses you have up until now obeyed. To quote and
paraphrase Dr. Schwartz, the more consciously and actively you come to revalue the
addictive drive in light of its pernicious influence on your life, “the more quickly and
smoothly you can perform the Relabel, Reattribute and Refocus steps and the more
steadily your brain’s ‘automatic transmission’ function returns. Revaluing helps you
shift the behavioral gears!”
Dr. Schwartz advises what he calls the two A’s: Anticipate and Accept. Anticipate
that the compulsive drive to engage in addictive behaviour will return. There is no
final victory—every moment that the urge is turned away is a triumph. Anticipate
relapse, and accept that the addiction/recurrent thought form exists “not because
of yourself, but despite yourself.” You never came into life asking to be programmed
in this way. It’s not personal to you—millions of others with similar experiences have
developed the same mechanisms. What is personal to you is how you respond to
it in the present. Keep close to your impartial observer.
Step 5: Re-create
Life, up until now, has created you. You’ve been acting out of ingrained mechanisms
wired into your brain before you had choice in the matter, and its out of those
automatic mechanisms and long-ago programmed beliefs that you have created the
life you now have. It is time to re-create: to choose a different life.
You have values. You have passions. You have intention, talent, capability. In your heart
there is love and you want to connect that with the love in the world, in the universe. As
you relabel, reattribute, refocus and revalue you are releasing patterns that have held
you and which you have held onto. In place of a life blighted by your addictive need for
acquisition, self-soothing, admiration, oblivion, meaningless activity: what is the life you
really want? What do you choose to create?
Write down your values and intentions and, one more time, do so with
conscious awareness. Envision yourself living with integrity, being able to look
people in the eye with compassion for them--and for yourself. The road to hell is
not paved with good intentions. It is paved with lack of intention. Re-create.
Are you afraid you will stumble? Of course you will: that’s called being a human
being. And then you will take the four steps--plus one--again.
