Hard day at work

Corvus

Dagobah Resident
It was somewhat a hard day at work. Two people died in a night shift in traffic accidents, one died in our hands, other was bicyclist hit by car, and in the shift before man hanged himself. We got a call that the car went of the road. When we got there there was a tractor by the road, and it s driver was down the hill where was the wrecked car and body of the car driver and there was the driver of the tractor trying to give CPR, pushing with one hand on his chest but no breathing in his mouth, the partner was also older and did not know how to give it , so I started CPR and did it for 15 min. until ambulance arrived, but after 5 min. I saw that he was gone because he was not breathing and his legs were blue. Ambulance tried to revive him for an hour but nothing happened. There came his son and was crying when he was pronounced dead and I heard while he was calling on the mobile phone his mother that she was screaming. Paramedic said that there was still a chance for the first 15 min. to reanimate him, and shake my hand for doing good CPR, because that is what gave that chance in their first 15 min., but the question is how much he was there until tractor driver saw him and partner said if we got there 5 min. earlier maybe he would still be alive, but he did not have seat-belt on so his neck probably snaped so I am not so sure. This other paramedic was sad because they could not save him and I remember him when one guy fell from the small cliff so we were carrying his body all together and had a good deal of sweat. You can recognize in a way who has empathy in those kind of situations.

What I observed was somewhat of desensitization among partners and others in this kind of cases, more in a line of being more interested in paperwork, job done, etc.., something I am not so good at because no one shows you anything and older guy knowing even less, but that is maybe also a product of seeing it more often, but I would say probably there is something missing inside.

Through that kind of experiences you start to look at life differently, how life is short and how it can end very quickly, and ask yourself for what I am using my time here for.
 
Wow, that's really horrible, Corvinus. I'll remember that whenever I think I've had a bad day at work. Don't forget to de-stress in some way.
 
Jeez Corvinus, sounds like a very tough experience to have gone through.. Im sorry to hear this,maybe some EE will help you to take some of the stress off, or reading something perhaps? Hope you feel better :hug2:
 
Good grief that sounds awful, hope your doing okay now. :hug2: You're right, definitely a reminder to use our time here the best we can.
 
Alada said:
Good grief that sounds awful, hope your doing okay now. :hug2: You're right, definitely a reminder to use our time here the best we can.

That must have been quite a shocking experience for you, Corvinus. Am glad you wrote about it as it may help you to process the emotions. Just reading about it was upsetting. Hope you are feeling Ok. I concur that a session of EE would be a great idea and maybe a quiet walk in nature to compose yourself! :hug:

You are right - experiences like this can really shake our foundations and make us think more about how much there is to do and how brief our sojourn here could be.
 
Quote from Mr. Premise:
Wow, that's really horrible, Corvinus. I'll remember that whenever I think I've had a bad day at work. Don't forget to de-stress in some way.

Quote from Marina9:
Jeez Corvinus, sounds like a very tough experience to have gone through.. Im sorry to hear this,maybe some EE will help you to take some of the stress off, or reading something perhaps? Hope you feel better :hug2:


Quote from Alada:
Good grief that sounds awful, hope your doing okay now. :hug2: You're right, definitely a reminder to use our time here the best we can.


Quote from aleana:
That must have been quite a shocking experience for you, Corvinus. Am glad you wrote about it as it may help you to process the emotions. Just reading about it was upsetting. Hope you are feeling Ok. I concur that a session of EE would be a great idea and maybe a quiet walk in nature to compose yourself! :hug:

Thank you all for your support. It is not that it was particularly stressful then usual, maybe it was but you got used to it, more that the next day it sinked more and came more of realization and teary sadness, and how the society machine keeps on grinding like nothing happened. In recent days I feel hearth again, maybe it is because of crystals and I had a good long sleep after work that I usually do not have, and like in the dream it was something like forget about limiting people that are going to become dream of the past, it was maybe as an answer to surrounding.
 
Glad you're ok Corvinus and it sounds like you did all you could given the situation. :hug:
 
Dear Corvinus.EE(as some member already recommended to you)is going to help a lot to release and process your emotional stress.
Definitely your job is really hard on many levels. When the life is gone You need to protect your Magnetic Field,trying to understand that a spiritual process is taking place in those moments,probably is not easy but is going to help you. :hug2:
 
Corvinus said:
Thank you all for your support. It is not that it was particularly stressful then usual, maybe it was but you got used to it, more that the next day it sinked more and came more of realization and teary sadness, and how the society machine keeps on grinding like nothing happened. In recent days I feel hearth again, maybe it is because of crystals and I had a good long sleep after work that I usually do not have, and like in the dream it was something like forget about limiting people that are going to become dream of the past, it was maybe as an answer to surrounding.

Big hug to you, Corvinus :hug2:, because such events do leave a mark, even if may appear to be "no more stressful than usual". So thank you for sharing. :flowers:

As for "desensitization" your colleagues may exhibit, that is also quite understandable because sometimes it appears to be the best "defense mechanism" against feelings of helplessness, or against thoughts that anything can happen at any given moment.

Recently I also had to experience something similar, when had to see two cases one after another of puppies with craniocerebral trauma after being hit either by a door or a moving car. :( In both cases the owners asked to try and save them, even if it was clear that the chances of recovery are small, especially when there was no pupillary light reflex. So it's very hard seeing people in pain that don't want to lose their beloved pet, or perhaps they even feel guilty for what happened, but also know that their pets probably won't get better, and meanwhile they are suffering.

For example, the owner of the puppy that was hit by a car even brought some stones and herbs, and arranged them in the specific way around the puppy in his cage. She said that she was told that it is supposed to assist in healing. She also asked me to give him water that was brought by her friend from Israel, and that is supposed to be a "holy water". This was absolutely heartbreaking to see, because clearly the person wants the puppy to survive, but then there is some sort of disconnect regarding the reality of the situation. And as these things work, if the owner wants to save the pet, the doctors are obligated to try. But this rule sounds ridiculous when the animal clearly suffers. So there were a lot of conflicting feelings all around.

And that is in situations like this when the feeling of "desensitization" kicks in, otherwise it would be hard to go on like this for a long time. Actually, those who work in medical professions burn out much faster if they would "take to heart" any difficult case or situation. Sometimes putting a distance is better for all involved, including the patient.

But as I said, it always leaves some sort of mark, so big hug to you again and take care. :hug2:
 
Quote from: 3D Student
Glad you're ok Corvinus and it sounds like you did all you could given the situation.

Quote from: munaychasumaq
Dear Corvinus.EE(as some member already recommended to you)is going to help a lot to release and process your emotional stress.
Definitely your job is really hard on many levels. When the life is gone You need to protect your Magnetic Field,trying to understand that a spiritual process is taking place in those moments,probably is not easy but is going to help you.

Thank you again for all support.


Quote from:Keit
Big hug to you, Corvinus :hug2:, because such events do leave a mark, even if may appear to be "no more stressful than usual". So thank you for sharing. :flowers:

As for "desensitization" your colleagues may exhibit, that is also quite understandable because sometimes it appears to be the best "defense mechanism" against feelings of helplessness, or against thoughts that anything can happen at any given moment.

Recently I also had to experience something similar, when had to see two cases one after another of puppies with craniocerebral trauma after being hit either by a door or a moving car. :( In both cases the owners asked to try and save them, even if it was clear that the chances of recovery are small, especially when there was no pupillary light reflex. So it's very hard seeing people in pain that don't want to lose their beloved pet, or perhaps they even feel guilty for what happened, but also know that their pets probably won't get better, and meanwhile they are suffering.

For example, the owner of the puppy that was hit by a car even brought some stones and herbs, and arranged them in the specific way around the puppy in his cage. She said that she was told that it is supposed to assist in healing. She also asked me to give him water that was brought by her friend from Israel, and that is supposed to be a "holy water". This was absolutely heartbreaking to see, because clearly the person wants the puppy to survive, but then there is some sort of disconnect regarding the reality of the situation. And as these things work, if the owner wants to save the pet, the doctors are obligated to try. But this rule sounds ridiculous when the animal clearly suffers. So there were a lot of conflicting feelings all around.

And that is in situations like this when the feeling of "desensitization" kicks in, otherwise it would be hard to go on like this for a long time. Actually, those who work in medical professions burn out much faster if they would "take to heart" any difficult case or situation. Sometimes putting a distance is better for all involved, including the patient.

Thanks. Inquest teams have about 9-11 cases each day where they take photos of dead bodies, so it becomes like a routine thing for them so I understand, but it was an odd week because 5 people died which is record for a station, even today we had one more death, tractor overturned on its driver. There was a pool of blood and his head was cracked open, parts of a brain seen, and they just got him naked and took photos, while his mature daughters were hysterical when they saw their father dead and were saying it is not him. This guy from inquest team was far more interested in how it all played out, that is his job in the end, but it looked like it was more of a game for him.
 
Corvinus said:
There was a pool of blood and his head was cracked open, parts of a brain seen, and they just got him naked and took photos, while his mature daughters were hysterical when they saw their father dead and were saying it is not him. This guy from inquest team was far more interested in how it all played out, that is his job in the end, but it looked like it was more of a game for him.

Perhaps it was. After all, often solving a situation or trying to figure out what really happened is exactly like solving a puzzle. It does sound like he could be more aware of his surroundings, and be much more sensitive, though. But isn't it a job of another team member? A psychologist maybe, or another person that was supposed to take the daughters aside, etc.? As you said, the inquest guy had a different job to do.

The point is, that from your descriptions it seems like you equate compassion with overt expression of emotion or concern, while often true compassion can be very subtle and very inexpressive or stoic-like. Like what is described in this article, for example. Or more "matter of fact".

Especially when dealing with difficult situations those who are supposed to do their jobs should remain level-headed not only for their sake, but also for the sake of the victims/patients, etc. But then people are not robots, and they all deal with such things in their own way. That's why there are things like "emergency room humor", or other types of black and crude humor. It is a way to release stress and deal with impossible situations. Basically, sometimes it is hard to say for sure if someone is truly a pathological, or just someone who tries to deal with the situation. But surely, sometimes it is clear enough too.

Some professions also significantly change/twist people, especially when being exposed to gruesome sights on a constant basis. That's the "desensitization" process. Not saying that it is a good thing, just saying that that's what happens.
 
It must have been a terrible scene Corvinus..
i think the desensitizing follows justification, the mind learns to cope with those situations by adjusting and have a less emotional response in order to function, it needs less neurochemical flow because the memory is already created.

That does not mean that subconsciously it does not destroy our psyche, if it is not made aware by the mind, a conscious understanding of life and dead and why it happens, and how the souls sometimes choose this, or their path ends or the more deeper sense of a human life and life in general... I think is the important part.

You also have the question of psychopaths being attracted to these kind of scenes and sometimes jobs, I was reading about a guy who saw an accident where a kid lost his life and it the bus that hit him caught on fire, i don't remember the name of the guy, but as it turned out he sought to recreate this same scene with other kids, and many disappeared as a result. the point with this in regards to psychopathy is that sometimes, they are attracted to a job that grants them easier access to their perversions, and can preform with complete detachment as we all know.

I was reading about torture during the middle ages and the conquest and american and Brazilian history, (for which I'm preparing a post for actually) and it has taken me a while to wrap my mind around it, some of those things i just couldn't handle, and even at some point i jumped into dissociation, and insomnia, how some people can be so cruel to another being sometimes because that is the job. I don't think desensitizing is they way but a result receiving a shock that was never really dealt with.

I know someone at work who made the point he puts makeup on dead people, and can eat and sleep no problem, now, i don't think i could. He would say is just a body. Technically it is just flesh and bones, but what makes the person isn't just that.

:hug:
 
It's a shame that guy had to hang himself, and yes I agree, every moment should be spent wisely.
 
Felipe4 said:
You also have the question of psychopaths being attracted to these kind of scenes and sometimes jobs, I was reading about a guy who saw an accident where a kid lost his life and it the bus that hit him caught on fire, i don't remember the name of the guy, but as it turned out he sought to recreate this same scene with other kids, and many disappeared as a result. the point with this in regards to psychopathy is that sometimes, they are attracted to a job that grants them easier access to their perversions, and can preform with complete detachment as we all know.

Indeed. For example, 4 months ago there was this story in Canada:

A teenager facing 18 counts of arson in Mayerthorpe, Alta. is a junior volunteer firefighter who helped to fight a number of the fires he’s now accused of setting.

Lawson Michael Schalm, 19, was charged by Mayerthorpe RCMP in connection to a recent rash of blazes in the town of 1,400 people about 120 kilometres northwest of Edmonton, including a fire that destroyed a historic CN trestle bridge.

Schalm’s father Albert Schalm, a former mayor of Mayerthorpe, told CTV Edmonton he learned of his son’s arrest through social media.

And recently I heard on the Russian news in relation to Portugal wildfires, that they also detained one of the firefighters in suspicion of setting those and other fires.
 
Quote from:Keit
But isn't it a job of another team member? A psychologist maybe, or another person that was supposed to take the daughters aside, etc.? As you said, the inquest guy had a different job to do.

They left home, it was before inquest team arrived that they were told to go home, they were not allowed to come close to the scene, scene was secured until all was done and cleared. I was not clear enough in prior post.

Quote from:Keit
The point is, that from your descriptions it seems like you equate compassion with overt expression of emotion or concern, while often true compassion can be very subtle and very inexpressive or stoic-like. Like what is described in this article, for example. Or more "matter of fact".

Especially when dealing with difficult situations those who are supposed to do their jobs should remain level-headed not only for their sake, but also for the sake of the victims/patients, etc. But then people are not robots, and they all deal with such things in their own way. That's why there are things like "emergency room humor", or other types of black and crude humor. It is a way to release stress and deal with impossible situations. Basically, sometimes it is hard to say for sure if someone is truly a pathological, or just someone who tries to deal with the situation. But surely, sometimes it is clear enough too.

I do not only equate compassion with outer reaction and I understand you and I am familiar with stoicism but the question is how many people are familiar with it and how many are actually practicing it in these circles. I personally do not have big problems looking at dead bodies and sleeping after that(but of course it has impact), so I get your point but was thinking more in a line of showing some respect, it was in the end living being who suffered and not a bag of potatoes to be tossed around, people are different of course and maybe I am more sensitive in that regard.

Quote from:Felipe4
I know someone at work who made the point he puts makeup on dead people, and can eat and sleep no problem, now, i don't think i could. He would say is just a body. Technically it is just flesh and bones, but what makes the person isn't just that.

I agree.
 
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