How To Spot A Dangerous Woman

Windmill knight said:
I came across this video which presents a stunning case of a woman who tried to have her husband killed and later nearly convinced him of helping her out of jail! The video analyses the phone conversation they had in which she sought to manipulate him. I thought it was fascinating as a case study.


https://youtu.be/SddZvNQOuFw

Thanks so much for sharing this, and this video was really shocking! You could almost feel the guys struggle and all his programs pushing, if it hadn't been a legal case, I think he would have succumbed to her.

I agree with the point of working towards growth being an imperative need. Specially when whatever wounds or programs we might carry can make us so easily victimized by this kind of behavior. For some people a relationship with the opposite sex means more than that. It carries a special meaning that is tied to a wounds of some sort.

A child with abusive parents, or absent (physically or emotionally) parents, or narcissistically wounded children, grow up to find in their relationships something entirely different than a life partner. Perhaps this person they meet can mean the approval or affection they never received. And someone who's so desperate for this will be like playdoh in the hands of a predator as the one being studied in the video.

This has given me much food for thought. Thanks a lot guys!
 
Thank you for sharing this case study, it's horrific and educating.

Even worse, the woman is getting a new trial because of "multiple mistakes the judge made at trial", so the state will restry the case. Really, this is ludicrous. The world is being run by the nastiest psychopathic criminals who're above the law and here, the attempt is being made to keep up the facade of "fair trials", 'following the proper procedure', and that the judicial system is working alright, and of course, all this for a predatory woman, who was trying to get her husband murdered, and the evidence proves it! The leeway that predators have to navigate the judicial system in their favor is just staggering.

"Dippolito gets new trial after conviction tossed"

"The undercover police sting video rose to popularity on the internet -- in it police say they captured 26-year-old Dalia Dippolito offering a man $3,000 to kill her husband. But cops say the hitman was an undercover agent, and stage an elaborate crime scene. Dippolito was found guilty of solicitation to commit murder in May of 2011, but her conviction has just been tossed by an appeals court after her attorney citied multiple mistakes the judge made at trial. The state says they will retry the case."


https://youtu.be/pX8Dc8SoZZU

As of now, they're still trying to find jury members who don't know anything about the case so it'll be a "fair trial" for Dalia Dippolito. In any case, everyone with two firing neurons, even without former knowledge of the case, will see what's been going on here, so 'Dalia' cannot reasonably assume that she can considerably change the verdict in her favor, though apparently, she certainly hopes for it.

"Jury selection for Dalia Dippolito 'murder-for-hire' trial will continue into Day 4": _http://www.wptv.com/news/region-c-palm-beach-county/west-palm-beach/jury-selection-for-dalia-dippolito-murder-for-hire-trial-will-continue-into-day-4)
 
Woodsman said:
The more aware I become, the more I see warning signs and manipulations in even otherwise really nice people; women who are simply acting in accordance with their base programming, morally grounded, but obedient to their ancient impulses nonetheless. And I get spooked and throw down distance.

I believe it when the C's say that 3D is a fundamentally, dyed in the wool STS reality!

I can't see myself in a relationship ever again. Not in this lifetime.

I suspect that this is not healthy, but what can one do? I don't want to erase what I have learned.

I think that many of us men grew up with the idea that women are somehow better or nicer than men. I know I did; in my case it was partly the product of seeing my father's behavior in contrast to my mother's, and also due to having come from a very matriarcal culture (yet macho). It may also have to do with the childish fantasy that many men have of being cared for like a baby again - only a superior person could be your 'mom'. So when we grow up to find that some women can and do hurt us badly, it gets us completely off guard, we don't understand and we don't know what to do. Watching videos like the one above is an eye-opener in regards to how far this can go and how it works, but they are also healing in the sense that we get a more realistic view of women and they dispel knightly illusions of the pure princess that needs to be rescued and adored. Instead, if we digest the information properly, what we learn is that women are just as mechanical and half-evil/half-good as men - the difference is that due to upbringing, society and biology we tend to proceed differently and use different sets of strategies to navigate life. But for both genders it is equally valid that we all (psychos excluded) have a choice to make between consciousness and mechanicalness, right and wrong.

So the lesson I get from all of this is to not idealize women. It would be wrong to conclude that learning about female manipulation means we should run away from women or relationships. We just need to understand that they are not angels, but human beings like us, and approach them carefully. Some women manipulate or use men not because they are psychos, but because they are mechanical, in the same way that some men act like jerks to women because that's what they have been programmed to do. But that does not exclude the possibility of love; being potentially mean to each other is ok as long as both parties have a measure of awareness of what they are capable of and can control themselves to a good extent. And that in fact makes the possibility of a relationship even more beautiful, because it would be based on the facts of life and not a fairy-tale. After all, who would want to date an angel or a princess? Would anyone be able to live up to that standard? No; it's much better to date someone who is potentially just as good or bad as you (yet different). That's how I see it at the moment.
 
obyvatel said:

https://youtu.be/NeeZSXY_swo

Another video from the same source about personality disorders of dangerous women.

https://youtu.be/wZHKCbHGlS0

Related thread:
Female Psychopathy

These two presentations are absolutely bang on! It describes my neighbor to a T, and I have nothing to do with her - with good reason. But I do get kept up all night, listen to the screaming and abuse she hurls at people who confront her, and/or those she can't manipulate to get what she wants. Oh, and answer the door and redirect the police when they get sent to the wrong house (mine). These people are a real problem. Unfortunately the ones that are really, really bad tend to effect a lot of people, leaving a swathe of destruction, disbelief and disgust behind them. She is like that.
 
Aiming said:
Thank you for sharing this case study, it's horrific and educating.

Even worse, the woman is getting a new trial because of "multiple mistakes the judge made at trial", so the state will restry the case.

I don't think that's why her conviction was overturned by an appellate court. Apparently it was because of a "tainted" jury pool:

The court ruled she was cheated of a fair trial because the pool of prospective jurors was tainted. The entire panel had heard one person mentioned an allegation in the news that Dippolito "had tried to poison her husband with antifreeze."

Nevertheless, it does seem like an open-and-shut case after watching the undercover video. Any jury pool with two firing neurons should convict her. I watched a number of videos related to this case, and the best part is watching the judge speak directly to Dippolito at sentencing. He was not at all fooled by her:


https://youtu.be/vg4PreCu4zY
 
Thanks for sharing that video Windmill Knight, very insightful.

Beau said:
Nevertheless, it does seem like an open-and-shut case after watching the undercover video. Any jury pool with two firing neurons should convict her. I watched a number of videos related to this case, and the best part is watching the judge speak directly to Dippolito at sentencing. He was not at all fooled by her:


https://youtu.be/vg4PreCu4zY

Yeah, the undercover video and the phone recordings after her arrest prove beyond a reasonable doubt that she's guilty. When the judge was telling Dippolito how cold-blooded she was for saying 'I saw what you saw and heard what you heard,' I was reminded of Ira Einhorn saying, 'You found what you found.'
 
[quote author=Woodsman]
From what I've seen, these manipulative behaviors all stem from automatic roots, and exist on a scale. That would-be murderess is on the far end to be certain, but even the best and healthiest relationships I've been in have carried elements of that kind of thing from the woman's side.
[/quote]

After being incarcerated, the woman was manipulating the guy using the poor damsel in distress routine. The damsel in distress brings out the white knight in men.

From the biological perspective, this is species instinct developed through evolution. Men are biologically driven to protect and rescue women from danger to ensure continuation of the genetic line in particular and the species in general.

From a Jungian psychology perspective, the damsel in distress and the knight are archetypal roles with deep roots in human experience. These roles are expressed in mythology of diverse cultures across the board.

So, I agree that the dynamic of manipulation played out in the video certainly goes beyond the specific individuals and their natures. A manipulation is most effective when it uses these kind of biological/instinctive/archetypal patterns. Women (and men) act out such patterns unconsciously. The difference between a potentially healthy and dysfunctional relationship is that when this dynamic is made conscious as in pointing out to the people involved they are behaving in a manipulative way, a healthy person feels ashamed. She/he may later forget and repeat, but after being made aware of the dynamic a few times, they can develop an awareness of what is going on. It helps if they value the relationship more than they value themselves. For a pathological person, like the woman in the video, there is no such possibility.

Men can learn to recognize the manipulation dynamics and stand firm. This has the potential to help the relationship, provided the woman is not pathological. And sometimes, not always, it helps to drop the nice guy image when the manipulation is appealing to such a nice guy. The guy on the video was apparently not so identified with being a nice guy, so despite the pull he could resist. And it was interesting to see that as he started driving a bargain to make her sign over the house in his name as a condition for helping her, the drama lost its bite.

So in the face of female manipulation, the choice for men is clear imo. Recognize manipulation, confront it head on and if necessary drop the nice guy image. Either the relationship will improve and get healthier or it will drop away if the other person is not able or willing to change. OSIT
 
obyvatel said:
Men can learn to recognize the manipulation dynamics and stand firm. This has the potential to help the relationship, provided the woman is not pathological. And sometimes, not always, it helps to drop the nice guy image when the manipulation is appealing to such a nice guy. The guy on the video was apparently not so identified with being a nice guy, so despite the pull he could resist. And it was interesting to see that as he started driving a bargain to make her sign over the house in his name as a condition for helping her, the drama lost its bite.

I think this is spot-on, and not just when dealing with pathological people, but in relationships in general, especially romantic ones. It also ties in to the traits of confident people, one of which states we should not avoid conflict.

Conflict is essential for a good relationship in my experience, but it is also very tricky. For example, if we have a problem in a relationship, it's important to bring it up ("dop the nice guy") and stand your ground. Yes, it is unpleasant, but it can lead to much progress and - ironically - bring partners much closer together than if one or both sides avoid conflict. But while standing firm, it's also very important to always consider the possibility that we are wrong, otherwise it is us who quickly become the manipulator.

Let's say, for example, you have the impression that your partner manipulates you emotionally and you feel you are deprived of your right to do something that is important for you. So you bring it up, and listen closely to the feedback/reaction that you get. There could be many outcomes of such a conversation, and if done in the right spirit, all are positive. For example, your partner may react badly, but sees the truth about your point and makes an effort (the breaking of such a unhealthy dynamic may also help him/her, and he/she might be very grateful later for your courage). Or, it could turn out that your demand is really egoistic and that you just want to avoid being available emotionally for your partner, or it might be just your strategy to avoid helping more in the household and just waste away your time with your obsessions. Another possibility, of course, is that your partner will show his/her true nature - pathologicals are simply unable to consider your needs for a moment.

I think we shouldn't jump to conclusions lightly in such situations, it's extremely tricky and requires a good grip on yourself and a self-critical attitude, rooted in knowledge. Because it's so tricky and full of pitfalls, many of us tend to avoid conflict, which only leads to stagnation or degeneration. I think it's one of those areas where we need to practice, practice, practice in order to learn some of the 'simple karmic understandings' the Cs talked about.


Windmill knight said:
I think that many of us men grew up with the idea that women are somehow better or nicer than men. I know I did; in my case it was partly the product of seeing my father's behavior in contrast to my mother's, and also due to having come from a very matriarcal culture (yet macho). It may also have to do with the childish fantasy that many men have of being cared for like a baby again - only a superior person could be your 'mom'. So when we grow up to find that some women can and do hurt us badly, it gets us completely off guard, we don't understand and we don't know what to do. Watching videos like the one above is an eye-opener in regards to how far this can go and how it works, but they are also healing in the sense that we get a more realistic view of women and they dispel knightly illusions of the pure princess that needs to be rescued and adored. Instead, if we digest the information properly, what we learn is that women are just as mechanical and half-evil/half-good as men - the difference is that due to upbringing, society and biology we tend to proceed differently and use different sets of strategies to navigate life. But for both genders it is equally valid that we all (psychos excluded) have a choice to make between consciousness and mechanicalness, right and wrong.

Yes, and part of the reason for this is our educational system and degeneration of 'true masculinity' in society, I think. We are raised by women not only at home (single moms/absent dads), but also in kindergarten and school. The few men in those professions are (to use a bit of a cliché), are not always the most 'manly' guys.

Especially in puberty, I think our school system is wholly inadequate for boys. It's a time where they need to go out there, work physically, get initiated by men who teach them what it means to be a man and teach them crafts etc. - instead they need to sit quiet in a class and listen to a (often female) teacher talking about Shakespeare and stuff (if they are lucky).

It's just one aspect of course, but I think all this contributes to screwing up men, which then makes them susceptible to female manipulation of all sorts and generally renders them useless. OSIT
 
Beau said:
Aiming said:
Thank you for sharing this case study, it's horrific and educating.

Even worse, the woman is getting a new trial because of "multiple mistakes the judge made at trial", so the state will restry the case.

I don't think that's why her conviction was overturned by an appellate court. Apparently it was because of a "tainted" jury pool:

The court ruled she was cheated of a fair trial because the pool of prospective jurors was tainted. The entire panel had heard one person mentioned an allegation in the news that Dippolito "had tried to poison her husband with antifreeze."

Thanks for the correction, Beau.
 
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