Cassiopaean Sandbox > Tickle Me
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Laura:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted
CHANGE!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in
cooperation and dialog with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road.
This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken
in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really; isn't about
me...
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with
the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the
road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT'
problems before adding 'NEW' problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this
road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a
part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not
live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the
chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no
middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken
crossing the road...
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the
wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will
remain against it.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the
way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird
gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the
road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?' That's why they
call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you
will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken
should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that. Let us pray.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken
crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell,
for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and
went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
BILL GATES: I have just released MS-eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay
eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral
part of the eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra... #R&^*^(!....
Reboot.
Menrva:
CASSIOPAEANS: Wait and see!
SAO:
Barbara Bush: It's not relevant why the chicken crossed the road. Why should I waste my beautiful mind on something like that?
Neo: There is no road.
SOTT.net: The chicken crossed the road? Sez who? And while we're being constantly told to focus on this supposed "chicken" crossing the road with NO evidence to support this (and plenty of evidence against it such as unchanged road accident statistics and no increase in any reports of people seeing chickens crossing roads), what has been going on elsewhere in the world that we're possibly being distracted from?
Fox News: We have it on good authority from an anonymous government source that the chicken HAS crossed the road because it hates our freedom to safely drive on roads! As a result of this clear and present danger, the national terror alert level has been raised and the president has declared war on Chickens, a new and real threat to our national road safety. Patriot Act 3 has also been proposed to forbid Americans from driving on roads for their own safety. Coming up we have a very serious debate show here on Fox, to show that our network supports critical thinking about all new developments! The critical discussion topic of the day - should the government have done more to prevent chickens from becoming a national threat? Stay tuned!
GRiM:
DEATH: I will be waiting for the chicken on the other side.
T.C.:
G: It could not have happened any other way.
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