Hello Everyone,
I've been lurking around this thread for some time now. It is very helpful.
I have been doing the EE since..... March? April? Maybe. I have been using the free copy on the EE site. Thanks Laura for providing it. I have sent away for the DVD, great idea, I hope it is selling, it should be.
Yesterday I went to my health food store, and spoke about it to the employees there, and gave them the site to check it out. The owner practises what she sells. A very informative person. Do you have any stores selling it for you? If they check it out I'm sure they will be open to selling it there.
I lost my net connection for a couple few months there and was not able to do it.
I do not have many sensations to report, a little back pain the last couple times, but it is just back pain, lower right area by my hip, and the spine beside it. I haven't been exercising lately, that's when I get back pain. I enjoy the stretching you provide in the demonstration.
I 'zone' out allot during meditation too.
I sometimes(eyes open) see a blue (orb?) sparkle here and there. Sometimes a bright white one too. At times when I close my eyes, I see either a emerald green fog, a yellow fog, bright white fog or a royal blue fog. Or sometimes I see all four fogs(or 2 or 3), interplaying with each other. Sometines I see a mosaic of geometrical objects, not forming anything really, just swirling around. There are times when faces appear, some nice, some nasty looking. I do not recognise them. Too, sometimes during the geometrical mosaic, the blue fog will start as a small white light, expand and turn royal blue, It reminds me of a portal, as the blue part is very 3d, with depth that goes on and on, deep. Like looking into another....place? I do not mind it. I do not know what to make of it though, I have always had this in my meditation, not every time, but enough, over the years.
Today though, I had a vision appear while my eyes were open. It started out small and grew to take up about half my vision. The edges were very fuzzy. But both the vision and the real background around it were both the same, being they were both appearing real. Both totally clear. Way too real, not hallucinating looking at all, real. Clear, vivid. The vision was my workshop! I don't get it, other than it was.... a bleed through? It was so real, I thought it might have been me zoning out, but it was even clearer than dreams are. Like I was in my workshop, but with fuzzy edges, and my living room surrounding it. I quickly realized that my eyes were open, and it shrunk back almost as quickly as it appeared, maybe a second, but long enough. I have seen allot of 'stuff' in my life, and this was like nothing I have ever seen, so real. A very satisfied feeling came over me too. It seemed good to see.
The exhale of the pipe breathing I have always incorporated into my meditation, I did it first about 2 decades ago. I had a huge reaction and sobbed for ever, it was wonderful, that day, during that particular meditation, I was also chanting 'om modi padme hum', it was one of my best releases ever, I could swear I was levitating, I was too into it to look.
Other than gestalt group body work, I used to go to. I do not get these huge emotional releases anymore. But that(the gestalt) was on purpose. Wild stuff.
Laura said:
I agree. And if a person starts off by approaching it step by step, acting strategically, utilizing knowledge to formulate an effective strategy for being able to succeed, it really is an act of becoming impeccable. For example, utilizing some supplements to relieve cravings while you are cutting out certain addictive foods; or avoiding going certain places or being with certain people if you know they always sabotage your dietary choices. You have to have the knowledge of your machine, the knowledge of what MAY be off-center, and then experiment a little to see what works exactly for you.
I really like what Laura says above here. It puts into words very well how I attempt to approach my life, nuf said, bout that.
Laura said:
Yes, doing the EE program can lead to the departure of attachments. If the emotion that attracted them is released, they go with it. If the physical condition that vibrates to their frequency is healed, they no longer have a toehold. In fact, I suspect that many of the "releasing" experiences that some of you have been having are literally "spirit release." Remember what Castaneda's Don Juan said about the predator's mind? That it is discipline that taxes it? Well, doing EE faithfully is the sort of discipline that can do this.
This quote above, describes exactly what I think has been happening to me since I started the EE. I have not been faithfully doing EE though, although my heart is faithful in its endeavors. A perfect example is food and eating. This is difficult to explain, but I will attempt explaining it.
Now, that I think I see what has happened it is easier to see this in hind sight. But before it happened, I was ignorant to the reality of it.....
I would describe myself, before as an emotional addictive eater. In general I am just an addict all around.This was recognised by the STS, (they see the emotions flowing out of holes in my spirit or soul caused by trauma?) and they became attached to these addictive eating flowing emotions. So they would eat these emotions addictively as I was eating the food. The act of them eating my emotions is so close and similar to what I was doing at the same time. Maybe in the beginning, they would not really attach themselves so as to allow me to be addicted to it first.(like a drug dealer saying to the heroin addict, 'the first ones free', comes to mind, or how you jig your bait when fishing, you let the fish swallow the bait first, then you 'set' the hook)
Then as I was addicted, their frenzied attacks would start. This was the attachment. I can see this now. When they attach, to any addiction, they are literally copying what I am doing. Once attached, they get all those yummy feelings, and I am left hold the bag. That is why an addict gets that feeling of the first 'hit' or high off the bite of food, and then it is never the same or as good as the first one anymore. Because 'they' are sucking it up , and 'they' get all the emotional feelings, not me. That is why the addict is always chasing the 'dragon', so to speak. They get all the good stuff, I the addict gets left with nothing and is always trying to achieve that feeling again, not realizing what is really happening.
I, just thought the feelings were gone... Well they were, I just did not realize where too. I used to think that they were just gone, like they were not happening. They were 'gone'(the other occult meaning), but not gone as not happened in the first place, but gone as in 'going' somewhere, I now see these feelings have 'gone', but to them. They ate it instead. This I did not know.
Now when I am eating, without all the hoopla of them having a party at my expense, I am left with the stark reality of what I am doing. That is feeding, consuming, getting physical nutrients, there is no emotional high, so they have left. So I don't have to chase anything anymore, 'I' get all the benefits. I can still have a feeling of satisfaction, but it is just a reaction to let me know I am finished eating. So now, I am just feeding a physical hunger and not a emotional hunger, they cant feed on me. But I can still receive pleasure, as long as the pleasure is attached to the physical aspect, not the emotional one.
I see that too in drinking and so fourth. They are not feeding anymore, and I get really hammered, as I get 'all' the stuff that comes with it. Their feeding is what gives the tolerance aspect of addiction, as in you can drink more, and more, as time goes by, cause 'they' are getting the buzz not me, the buzz isn't 'gone' away as I though. It's still there, but it 'goes' to them. No wonder its called spirits. So now when I drink a beer or 3, I actually get all 3 beers, no more tolerance. I get the effect immediately, and one beer is good enough, or it's now too much and I don't want to do it any more.
Too, this would explain why I though I was born with a spiritual defect, as in my soul was full of holes, like how some children are born with a hole in their heart, I though I was born with it in my soul.
So, yes, I think EE heals these holes, and no more emotions flow out of them, and the attachments leave.
cheers,
Harold
PS... is this postable for the EE web site? I'll wait to hear what you guys think first.
