Thank you Vulcan for this thread.
I have a been a lurker for years, afraid to post, scared of my writing ability, and to to be plainly honest i was not in the right frame of mind or had control of my body, i was an alcoholic, i drank every day, every night, i would buy a bottle of wine and some nights i would buy two, sit down in the evening and read Sott and the forum whilst slowly getting drunk. I was in no position to post, and to top off the drinking i would not be able to remember details of what i was reading.
For the past year i have been having an almighty internal battle that i kept loosing, waking up the next day and looking in the mirror scalding myself, telling myself i won't drink today, only to loose that battle by the time the evening came along. It's not that i didn't want to drink socially when the time is right, birthdays or a drink with Friends on occasions, but i knew in my heart the daily drinking it had to stop period. I am posting today because i have won that battle, and i feel so relieved.
I have gone 6 weeks without once being drunk, and when social occasion's came around had the strength to stop after one drink. I drank daily and at time's heavily for 23 years
I keep thinking to myself how and when i stopped and trying to rationalise, and was there external factors or help. I stopped drinking the week of pepperfritz sad departure, i had downloaded the first introduction audio of the Eiriu Eolas program, but this particular afternoon instead of listening while working, i lay on my bed to hear Laura talking about the importance of the EE program, i didn't make it through to the end, the only thing i can remember was falling into a trance with swirling blue Oliy cloud type images in the front of my forhead, like some sort of projector, projecting images onto the inside on my skull. This is the week i just stopped, the battle seemed to be gone, it was so easy to say No, i only had to say no a couple of times and No won every time.
Since that time i have started to clean my body eating well, gone through the pantry and thrown away any items of food, jars, tins which i found to contain the food that is harmful, checking on the web and the forum to make sure of the products contents. I have been pretty darn brutal.
It's only in the last couple of days the fear of posting has subsided. I may not be in a position to post any truly informative information, but with effort on my part that will come i know.
I can only thank all the people on this forum, because in a roundabout way you have helped me over a major hurdle in my life.
and this thread just might be the stepping stone.
