Hi Jimbo. I just want to second the things anart has pointed out and add some observations as well. You mentioned that you were working on a more 'heated' reply to dave, which you then deleted. You posted this:
In another thread you mentioned you are hear because you want to learn. This is a good reason. However, in the "Work", we often find that what we THOUGHT were the reasons we got into it often change. We discover new reasons for staying in the Work and realize that we really didn't even understand our original motivations. The reason I mention this is because you also said you haven't had an interest in psychology. But if your aim is to LEARN, where must you start? Well, the answer to that is: yourself. And how can you know yourself if you are not interested in psychology? How can you learn to see the world objectively if you cannot see yourself objectively? See the ways emotions color and divert thinking, the ways preconceived notions and assumptions divert logical thinking, etc.?
That's the reason why it was asked if you've read the Wave. The Wave deals with the Work and the reasons and methods we need to see ourselves objectively. And also how to conduct ourselves in a manner which is both respectful to others and good for our own development. This means "internal considering never, external considering always". This is hard, you're right, but the point of this forum is to act as an alarm clock for anyone interested in following this "Way". Yes, we all slip up, but even then, these times should be pointed out to us. It is understood that we all slip up, and there is no judgment involved, but it is still pointed out FOR THE BENEFIT OF THE PERSON DOING THE SLIPPING. Perhaps it might be a good idea to reread the Wave series (I know for me, personally, I need to read things a few times before certain concepts sink in).
One of the basic concepts of the work is external considering, as I mentioned. This means acting in a way that is beneficial to all EVEN when you feel offended, self-righteous, ill-treated, etc. THAT'S what the Work is about: putting a little distance between your inner REACTION to a situation and the way you CHOOSE to respond. If we just react, feeling self-righteous and letting the anger seep out even in little ways, we are wasting energy and identifying with our own mechanical habits. But in order to even be able to CHOOSE, you have to be able to NOTICE that the choice is available. This is impossible as long as you are identified with your feelings of being offended, of being right, etc. That's where the network comes in, as a tool to HELP YOU SEE. We mean no offense and we're not hear to tell you what to do. Just to offer feedback that IF this is what you want, try it out and see if it works. You will never know if it's right or not if you never try, but again, that's your choice. It just takes getting over your self-importance to make that first step.
In the above response you basically put away the sledgehammer (which is good), but decided to use a pinprick instead (not so good). Can you see how, even though you refrained from attacking harshly in response, you still let your emotions get the better of you and responded with sarcasm?
Jimbofirstround said:
In another thread you mentioned you are hear because you want to learn. This is a good reason. However, in the "Work", we often find that what we THOUGHT were the reasons we got into it often change. We discover new reasons for staying in the Work and realize that we really didn't even understand our original motivations. The reason I mention this is because you also said you haven't had an interest in psychology. But if your aim is to LEARN, where must you start? Well, the answer to that is: yourself. And how can you know yourself if you are not interested in psychology? How can you learn to see the world objectively if you cannot see yourself objectively? See the ways emotions color and divert thinking, the ways preconceived notions and assumptions divert logical thinking, etc.?
That's the reason why it was asked if you've read the Wave. The Wave deals with the Work and the reasons and methods we need to see ourselves objectively. And also how to conduct ourselves in a manner which is both respectful to others and good for our own development. This means "internal considering never, external considering always". This is hard, you're right, but the point of this forum is to act as an alarm clock for anyone interested in following this "Way". Yes, we all slip up, but even then, these times should be pointed out to us. It is understood that we all slip up, and there is no judgment involved, but it is still pointed out FOR THE BENEFIT OF THE PERSON DOING THE SLIPPING. Perhaps it might be a good idea to reread the Wave series (I know for me, personally, I need to read things a few times before certain concepts sink in).
One of the basic concepts of the work is external considering, as I mentioned. This means acting in a way that is beneficial to all EVEN when you feel offended, self-righteous, ill-treated, etc. THAT'S what the Work is about: putting a little distance between your inner REACTION to a situation and the way you CHOOSE to respond. If we just react, feeling self-righteous and letting the anger seep out even in little ways, we are wasting energy and identifying with our own mechanical habits. But in order to even be able to CHOOSE, you have to be able to NOTICE that the choice is available. This is impossible as long as you are identified with your feelings of being offended, of being right, etc. That's where the network comes in, as a tool to HELP YOU SEE. We mean no offense and we're not hear to tell you what to do. Just to offer feedback that IF this is what you want, try it out and see if it works. You will never know if it's right or not if you never try, but again, that's your choice. It just takes getting over your self-importance to make that first step.
In the above response you basically put away the sledgehammer (which is good), but decided to use a pinprick instead (not so good). Can you see how, even though you refrained from attacking harshly in response, you still let your emotions get the better of you and responded with sarcasm?
Forgot that you haven't reached the required number of post.
