No Longer Interested in Sex
- Thread starter FireShadow
- Start date
FireShadow
Jedi Master
I say Odyssey got a better deal than I did. I only bought 8oz and paid more...it was just easier to combine orders. I only bought 8oz to try it out. If I find it is indeed as great as everyone says, I will be looking for bigger volume and a better deal...probably from site Odessey shared with us. By the way, thanks Odessey.
Oh, Yes! I love that quote - it is what one of my favorite characters - Wizard Zeddicus Zul Zorander said every time a new problem cropped up. Then, he would get right on solving it. I like to use humor when possible (when I remember) and this quote helps. And it seems quite true for me as I am so stubborn, nothing is ever easy.
Oh, Yes! I love that quote - it is what one of my favorite characters - Wizard Zeddicus Zul Zorander said every time a new problem cropped up. Then, he would get right on solving it. I like to use humor when possible (when I remember) and this quote helps. And it seems quite true for me as I am so stubborn, nothing is ever easy.
SolarMother
Dagobah Resident
Odyssey said:
Thank you Odyssey--I'll look into that.
SolarMother said:
This discussion about sex is so interesting. It makes me see how you are, how you feel, how open and spiritually advanced you are concerning life. Because talking about sex is talking about life.
I like to read about this topic because me too I have a very low libido and I used to feel guilty. Not anymore. I can see with joy that I`m not anymore alone in this process. I know sex is mental, before anything. So maybe our mental needs other landscapes. I prefer to read a book than having sex, that's my situation in that present and I accepted it. Maybe it will change, maybe not. Who knows?
Talking about sex is talking about life. I love your sincerity, of all of you. ;)
SolarMother
Dagobah Resident
lareta
I'm glad that you like this thread and find it helpful, Lareta ;)
It is a feeling of freedom to see oneself letting go of old programs!
I'm glad that you like this thread and find it helpful, Lareta ;)
It is a feeling of freedom to see oneself letting go of old programs!
melatonin
Jedi Master
The amount of friendships ive lost because friends think their GF likes me or vice versa (the trust thing, paranoia) is unbelievable.
In fact i wouldnt even bother making a friendship with a couple now. Id bet other people have experienced the same.
Worst thing is that im very trustworthy and value friendship very highly - probably too much, and thats a lesson i need to learn.
Also seen alot of friends change as soon as they start having a sexual relationship. Its an addiction for alot of people. Id be lying if i said it didnt have an affect me aswell.
In fact i wouldnt even bother making a friendship with a couple now. Id bet other people have experienced the same.
Worst thing is that im very trustworthy and value friendship very highly - probably too much, and thats a lesson i need to learn.
Also seen alot of friends change as soon as they start having a sexual relationship. Its an addiction for alot of people. Id be lying if i said it didnt have an affect me aswell.
Skyalmian
Jedi Council Member
I'm done with it, with the concept, with the 'need' for the self-serving orgasm. It's taken since June 2014 when I stopped with masturbation / orgasms, with only 2 this past January, to realize this. And any energetic charge from arousal discharges throughout the body after a day or two.
I also have a theory that when aimed at a particular thoughtform, desire, goal or whatever, especially self-serving ones, that's sending a major STS message to the universe that could, "in time", "come home to roost" or try to 'collect'.
I also have a theory that when aimed at a particular thoughtform, desire, goal or whatever, especially self-serving ones, that's sending a major STS message to the universe that could, "in time", "come home to roost" or try to 'collect'.
riclapaz
Dagobah Resident
Thank you all for this thread, sex is something that has been troubling me during my youth and adult life, sometimes I control and sometimes not, this gives it as emotional "lows", where I just feel dirty, that worthless, is that this is all part of the programming that instilled in me as a child about sex is bad or ideas of this kind, I think seeking sex to feed the ego currently have no steady partner, this clearly does everything harder, I tried for months not to have sex, and I succeeded, but it has not worked well for me, I think this I cause a blockage of sexual energy (in the session of spiritual liberation with Patrick, the medium found this blockade, apparently, by force of will had created this barrier of sexual energy) to remove this barrier, again I get this unbridled sexual appetite, try not to think more than necessary on this issue, I try to put all my energy into other Things, however is something that remains a thorn in the side, a piece that does not fit into my life, it is a lesson I need to learn, and the fight is always present. :/
Dylan
Jedi
Did I miss something in ISOTM? Didn't Gurdjieff say that when the centres align in two people who are advanced in the work that their sexual centres could unite and replicate a cosmic understanding of intimacy?
I understand the lack of drive and desire not to be manipulated by STS elements, but could the malign and pernicious way in which sex is portrayed in the mainstream be a contrived program to prevent people from realizing the potential of the positive effects of sexual intimacy with another whom has and gives their love? Could it be that the uniting of two colinear peoples sexual centres is one of the greatest acts of STO?
I understand the lack of drive and desire not to be manipulated by STS elements, but could the malign and pernicious way in which sex is portrayed in the mainstream be a contrived program to prevent people from realizing the potential of the positive effects of sexual intimacy with another whom has and gives their love? Could it be that the uniting of two colinear peoples sexual centres is one of the greatest acts of STO?
Divide by Zero
The Living Force
Dylan said:
Dylan,
I have replied in another thread on the C's predictions about loss of sex drive in a similar vein as you describe.
I think that the sex drive itself is not the problem. But as the book Positive Disintegration explains, love turns from a dominating/survival like sexual drive into a loving one. I like to think I have experienced that in the past, even with a person who was not interested in the work (but she was accepting of my choice- and me hers). If I had to simplify it, it would be that having sex for sex sake is pretty empty feeling. But, sex with intimacy and affection is still something that I remember as a beautiful thing, even when not colinear. Perhaps the issue is where people are with someone, have sex out of passion- in the moment- forgetting who this person is and instead dwell inside fantasies of sex, played out during sex? That explains why a lot of modern society talks of sex as some kind of role playing exercise- and the big push for 50 shades of grey and other "fetishes"?
FireShadow
Jedi Master
Perceval said:
Hi! Well it has been a journey of experience and lessons! LOL
Unfortunately, the experiment never really got started. My husband had said he was interested and would read the book "Cupid's Poisoned Arrow" and that he was willing to try the suggestions. However, he never did. At first, I waited a few weeks and when I noticed he had not picked the book up, I asked him if he was still interested. He said he was, but again, did not pick the book up. We had a few rounds of this before I realized he apparently had no intention of reading the book. Or, maybe he did mean it when he said it, but just could not bring himself to do it.
If I were to guess at the reason, I think perhaps he was afraid reading the book would challenge some of his beliefs about orgasm (including masturbation) and that he was not willing to let go of his "sacred cow". He has told me in the past that he once had a doctor tell him that regular orgasms were important to prostate health and he seemed to use this as the justification for regular masturbation (when we don't have sex often enough for him). I think I said too much when I presented the ideas in the book. Perhaps I should have merely presented it as a possible solution to our problem (low frequency of having sex). Then, he might have read it and seen the evidence unfold for himself. Then, again, maybe not.
On the other hand, the whole experience has taught me much about myself. And yes, I realize I still have much to learn. In fact, that old saying "the more I learn, the more I see how much I don't know and still need to learn" applies!
As for where I am now since first posting this topic: I am no longer feeling the "revulsion" to sex and I do occasionally experience a physiological drive for sex. But, I am no longer interested in sex without an emotional connection and I no longer try to "give him what he wants" unless I am feeling that connection which is rare these days. We are currently on "friendly" terms, but we do not seem to be colinear. I did so want him to follow the path with me and do "The Work", but apparently he has a different path. I am still learning to accept that. Some days I am better at it than others.
In the process of these past few years (which is a long story and I am willing to tell it if anyone is interested), while doing my best (with varying success! lol) to practice self-observation and non-expression of negative emotions, I came to see more of the "horror of the situation" of myself. I came to see (at least a bit) of what "being-ness" means and how very little of it I really had. For me, just seeing this much is real progress as I am a stubborn and slow learner in this respect.
Besides reading this forum (thank you guys for being here!), I have found the most value in the following books:
"To Have or To Be" by Erich Fromm
"Self-Observation" by Red Hawk
"Complex PTSD: From Surviving To Thriving" by Pete Walker
"In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts" by Gabor Mate
Of course, I did find value in many other sources (usually based on references found here on the forum), but those mentioned above were the most dense and relevant for me.
I am still working on self-discipline and practicing meditation when I can get myself to do it...which is more often now than I used to do, but far from what I think is ideal. I try (again with varying success) to keep my focus on doing what is in front of me and not giving up as opposed to any thought of "becoming enlightened" or achieving "eligibility for 4D". If I don't get it done in this life, then, perhaps in the next.
Again, I want to thank everyone on this forum for the very valuable work you do!
FireShadow
Jedi Master
Perceval said:FireShadow said:
Sorry to hear that Fireshadow, although with so many others here reporting a similar situation I can't say I am surprised.
Thank you for the hug! Knowing what I now know, I can't say that I am surprised either. But, I was shocked, hurt, and angry when I did first realize the truth! lol Learning is fun, but those shocks can be quite painful...especially if you are as stubborn as I am and the Universe has to give you a big one!
Perceval said:
All right - I think I will need a few days to sort it out and put it all together in a coherent form.