Question from a Newbie about.. life?

Paul

The Force is Strong With This One
Hi everyone, these questions have been bothering me a lot, and would really appreciate if you can point me in the right direction. So here they go:

I) How do you GROW? How do you become an adult from being a child?

I'm about to be 20, and I still feel I'm a repressed, full of fear, sad weak kid so I've come to realize I need to really grow, to become responsible of my life - a responsible adult - but feel lost because I'm not sure how to do that, even though after some insistence I managed to visit a therapist but feel like I'm still going nowhere. And from what I can see, my narcissistic family isn't much of help and looks like I won't be able to get myself a place to live in quite some time, honestly only a miracle will make that happen. I feel like a lot of ''tools'', understanding, experiences and skills are lacking in me when I compare to others of a similar age, and it doesn't seem that my parents will be able to teach me those things since they behave like a child too in some ways..I really feel STUCK beyond belief.

So I either wallow in self-pity or start growing.

So How did you GROW? From being a child to an adult.



II) I feel completely lost as to what to do. Finished high school and don't even know whether to continue and if so what career to choose.
The question is, how do you find what your heart's desire is? And how did you do it? If I'm guessing correctly, that can help tremendously, judging from this quote from the C's:
"Seek ye first the desire of the heart and all else falls into place."
http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,21622.0.html

And the other question is: Would you suggest to continue studying and choosing a career? Knowing that it seems that poop is about to hit the fan. The dilemma is thus: to continue studying as if there were much more time or to prepare for the upcoming changes as in learning skills, canning, and being part of a community with people that you trust?
I don't think I can or possible to start doing both things at the same time, mainly because of the limited time it seems we have.



III) How do you manage to keep going in spite of the difficulties of your problems? How do you make yourself stronger? I don't feel I have that kind of fortitude.



IV) Over the years I've been lurking and it seems that people is able to have a full-time job, study the material, applying your knowledge (say canning or doing the keto diet), also reading SOTT and networking on the forum, and have your meetings with friends and family. How in the world is that even possible? I mean, for a year now, all of my waking hours I'm in the house, trying to understand the material and that's the ONLY thing I do and I'm already exhausted. I'm barely able to go on with my life and I'm not close to do all those things. So is it really possible? If so, is there something you know that allows you to do all that stuff? I'd really like to know how you do it.



V) How do you manage to lessen or to not fear aliens or related high strangeness?
I believe that it should be the least of our concerns, assuming that's what Laura means when saying "who needs aliens, when you have psychopaths" yet I still find myself in a lot of fear and can't sleep well when thinking that they can abduct and influence in your life, etc.

I understand that FRV is everything and if you were to have a strong FRV then, I guess, you would be almost immune to them and other things. But really, who has a strong FRV or how can you even tell? Or should you be focusing on resolving your problems and don't care about high strangeness phenomena at all?

If I'm understanding the material correctly, you raise your FRV with your everyday choices based on true knowledge and by having a "STO" nature... which seems like very few people accomplish that and it's even harder knowing that also psychology tells us we deceive ourselves and more, sigh.



Sorry for the wall of text, I tried to write it to the point. Any suggestion is deeply appreciated. Thank you!
 
I) How do you GROW? How do you become an adult from being a child?

LOL! I just replied to your introduction and happened to come here next. I almost wrote in my reply to you that I FEEL LIKE I AM JUST STARTING TO GROW UP! (And by age standards that should have happened a long time ago). How funny. I just should have followed my thoughts through. I was on the same wavelength but didn't realize it.

1. Slow down. We all want to grow up too fast. Life comes at us so fast and we are not even ready. You have an opportunity here to grow in knowledge and by just what you are doing - having the courage to jump onto this forum and ask your question. That takes guts when it's personal.

2. Don't be so hard on yourself. There are plenty of people in the world that will do that for you.

3. Moving out on one's own right after high school used to be possible but not so easy anymore. California is incredibly expensive. Don't let this put pressure on you while it is still unrealistic at this moment. Direction first. Or having direction because there is something you want to do. Some people do seem to have a passion that they follow from early in life but not everyone.

4. None of us knows how much time we have or what will happen tomorrow. You will sabotage yourself from ever starting anything if you hold that attitude.

5. So pick a subject that you enjoy, that you want to know more about. Is it something that has any potential for future jobs? How can you get the training you need? High school doesn't prepare anyone to face the world head on. Is there any supportive person in your life?

Personally, I haven't started to really grow until now. I had false ideas of how the world worked. Learning the truth has been frightening and depressing and filled me with helplessness too. Keep going. Get past the fear and disappointment. I'm so sorry that this isn't an easy time for you. Keep checking out any leads and all that interests you pertaining to anything you'd like to do. Fit the bigger picture together piece by piece. It takes time. Simple fact. Step back and take look at our world objectively.

Don't expect life to be given to you. You do need to figure out - What do you FEEL like doing? Maybe not for the rest of your life. It can be much more productive if you don't try to solve the riddle all at once. Take it in small steps. Let yourself make mistakes...but try something. It will help you to have confidence if you learn a skill that interests you.

These are just surface thoughts, I know. I have only recently been learning how to control anxiety and stress through Qigong which I am teaching myself at this time. The breathing and motion really allows me to relax and connect with my body. It has improved my energy and patience and focus by slowing down. I am happier being me with greater confidence in my own ability to act with awareness.

Don't be ashamed of who you are right now. You recognize that it is time to progress. At your age, it is natural - There's a time of building up energy that feels like frustration building up because it's stuck without direction to flow. These kinds of pressures happen to give you the drive to make your next move.

I hope something someone says will be helpful to you.
At the very least, you know that we care.
Susan
 
These are all pertinent questions, but I'd like to address one of these:

The dilemma is thus: to continue studying as if there were much more time or to prepare for the upcoming changes as in learning skills, canning, and being part of a community with people that you trust?

As you have rightly mentioned, we need to try to do that for which we have a passion. From what you have written, you haven't found that out. The next step then would be to start developing that as well as you can, either through on the job learning or studying, whatever.

While at the moment it seems that time is short, we don't know really, as the future is open. And you never know what knowledge that you acquire along the way might be helpful in a future world, however this world will look like.

So the way that I see things, you have to kind of adopt a two pronged strategy - on one hand you have to plan as if life went on as it is now for the foreseeable future, and on the other hand plan for the worst in the short term. That sounds a little bit contradictory and it certainly is a fine line, and you probably will oscillate a lot between these two poles.

But try to develop your passions no matter how much time you think you have left. Kind of along the saying attributed to Francis of Assisi: "Even if I knew the world would cease to exist tomorrow, I still would plant a tree today".
 
Honestly, thank you Susan for replying in both threads and for the on point advice. I need now to try something I feel, I think it'll take a while but I have to continue this process and discover.

So Thank you both, I feel a lot more relieved and with more direction about what to do. It cleared my main concerns; now it's time to do my part. Thank you!!!
 
Paul said:
Honestly, thank you Susan for replying in both threads and for the on point advice. I need now to try something I feel, I think it'll take a while but I have to continue this process and discover.

So Thank you both, I feel a lot more relieved and with more direction about what to do. It cleared my main concerns; now it's time to do my part. Thank you!!!

You are very welcome. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I look forward to hearing how you are doiing. You will learn to balance your inner growth and outer intention by accepting responsibility that comes with making life choices.

Stay golden pony boy.
 
Yeah. I agree with what has been offered so far.

I'd just like to add, if I may...

I know what you're feeling. Been there!

I spent almost five years living at home with my folks after high school ended, and it was really difficult.

I had a couple of jobs I hated, I felt futile, was lonely, had low self-esteem. I was dragging myself through the days. -And that was still while living in the Matrix illusion; I didn't discover any of the unsettling stuff about aliens and similar subjects until much later in life.

I didn't realize just how angry and unhappy I was through that period. I actually *thought* I was a pretty upbeat guy, but a close friend, years later, was surprised when I told him my impression of that time. "You were actually really angry and unhappy."

Really? Wow. Yeah. I suppose I was.

What helped get me through was having a few goals I could work towards and just chipping away at them. I knew what I loved and what I wanted to be able to do. Knowing that helped, but it all seemed so far off, and so unlikely. Finally, I landed some good opportunities and started making real money and headway in the world, and was able to move out of my parent's place half-way through my 20's. Life took off.

One good thing I did, which helped open my eyes and turn on my soul; right before I launched into the world, I launched into the world, so to speak. -That is, I did some backpacking to other countries and traveling around. That was a big, good thing. An adventure. I learned a *lot*. When I came home many weeks later, I started my career in earnest.

But those long years stuck in my parent's house, while depressing, were also very useful. I taught myself many skills, absorbed a lot of knowledge, worked hard on my own projects, and while it was lonely, it was essential work. I was very fortunate to have a good friend I could talk with and plan with during that period. I hope anybody going through such a time in their lives might have somebody like that to help make the work a bit easier.

All of which is to say...

You may just be going through a natural growth stage, in which case what you need is patience and trust in the process. If you've found your way to SOTT type knowledge, then your subconscious, (I think), is possibly guiding you and if that's the case, it won't let you down. Just do what is asked of you, put in the work, and trust that the path you've laid out for yourself is the right one for you. And keep aching for strength and direction; that's how you turn the rudder of your ship towards those very things.

-Also...

I heard one person describe life in terms of seasons, with a whole cycle, (Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter) taking about 10-14 years. The Winter is a period where you're supposed to hunker down and just be. It's about sleep and rest and pondering. Let the changes that come with sleep affect you. Consolidate your knowledge and don't try to explode into growth until the time is right. When Spring comes, you'll know it and start to put up shoots. Summer will be a whirlwind, and its quality depends on how well you rest and absorb and think now. Each season has its purpose, leading naturally into the next.

I've found, having gone through a few life cycles that this analogy holds remarkably true.
 
Welcome to the Forum, Paul!

Wow, you have had some very great response to your heartfelt questions, which brought me to times of the past. The only thing I could add is to also stay in touch with your intuitive nature, which is a guild for many. If you feel suddenly drawn to something that had not crossed your mind, think about it. I know for me, changes came from following an idea that just came up. One minute you are here and the next you are somewhere else doing something you least expected.

Just adding your voice to the forum, well you've already grown.
 
Thank you Woodsman for sharing your life experiences and advice. It's quite interesting the life description in terms of seasons; I'm trying to trust and have patience and follow my feelings. Thank you too voyageur, I'll see where my feelings lead me!


...:-[ I feel embarrassed to say this but what if, what I feel I would like to do is to devote my whole being/life in helping/contributing to this group/forum? The thing is, I'm not sure that would give me food and water to do this..It would be too good to be true though - greater than a miracle.
 
hey!

I think I can add also... while I can't say much about growing up as I pretty much refuse to do that. I can give you a few pointers how to relieve anxiety.

just get out of your usual environment - travel when ever possible. At that age you are supposed to just pick up and try everything and just be amazed at life. If you lack the funds to go abroad just take hiking trips locally! there was a time when between jobs I just spent days with my best friend just going through woods and beaches and climbing little hills.

I worked on getting myself some transportation and a motorcycle worked best for me. Attach a tent to it and travelling is much easier and not to mention cheaper ;)

Have a book on you at all times. Only take out your smart device for listening to music and calling! otherwise whenever you feel like taking out that phone take out that book instead.

As for that high strangeness factor - Just raise your knowledge on that matter and you'll find that fear just disappearing - Maybe you'll find yourself on a thought like we're just here for a blink of an eye and fear is just chemicals produced by your body as you yourself are something not so easily measured ;)

hang in there and as the saying goes, one step at a time! And get into the wild! And a really important thing that most people that age seem to forget is to just try and have fun!! In doing whatever! Ride a bike, go skateboarding!! it's really important to have fun!
 
Paul said:
Hi everyone, these questions have been bothering me a lot, and would really appreciate if you can point me in the right direction.

This passage from the Cs came to mind, as reading through your questions the same answer kept coming back – Knowledge protects. As it says below “If you think carefully you will begin to see glimpses of how this is true in its greatest possible form”, so all we can do is make efforts to gather the necessary knowledge in order to grow, find one’s aim and move towards it without falling prey to outside interference.

Cs Session 16 October 1994 said:
Q: (L) Are there any rituals that can be performed to provide protection for one against intrusion by the Lizzies.

A: Rituals are self-defeating.

Q: (L) Are there any technological means we can use?

A: The only defense needed is knowledge. Knowledge defends you against every possible form of harm in existence. The more knowledge you have, the less fear you have, the less pain you have, the less stress you feel, the less anguish you feel, and the less danger you experience of any form or sort. Think of this very carefully now for this is very important: Where is there any limitation in the concept behind the word "knowledge"? Being that there is no limitation, what is the value of that word? Infinite. Can you conceive of how that one concept, that one meaning frees you from all limitation? Use your sixth sense to conceive of how the word, the term, the meaning of knowledge can provide with all that you could possibly ever need. If you think carefully you will begin to see glimpses of how this is true in its greatest possible form.

Q: (L) Does this include knowledge learned from books?

A: This includes all possible meanings of the concept of the word. Can you think of how it would be that simply with one term, this one word can carry so much meaning? We sense that you are not completely aware. You can have glimpses of illumination and illumination comes from knowledge. If you strive perpetually to gain and gather knowledge, you provide yourself with protection from every possible negative occurrence that could ever happen. Do you know why this is? The more knowledge you have, the more awareness you have as to how to protect yourself. Eventually this awareness becomes so powerful and so all encompassing that you do not even have to perform tasks or rituals, if you prefer, to protect yourself. The protection simply comes naturally with the awareness.

Q: (L) Does knowledge have a substance or an existence apart from its possession or its acceptance?

A: Knowledge has all substance. It goes to the core of all existence.

Q: (L) So acquiring knowledge includes adding substance to one's being?

A: Indeed. It includes adding everything to one's being that is desirable. And also, when you keep invoking the light, as you do, truly understand that the light is knowledge. That is the knowledge which is at the core of all existence. And being at the core of all existence it provides protection from every form of negativity in existence. Light is everything and everything is knowledge and knowledge is everything. You are doing extremely well in acquiring of knowledge. Now all you need is the faith and realization that acquiring of knowledge is all you need.

Q: (L) I just want to be sure that the source that I am acquiring the knowledge from is not a deceptive source.

A: If you simply have faith, no knowledge that you could possibly acquire could possibly be false because there is no such thing. Anyone or anything that tries to give you false knowledge, false information, will fail. The very material substance that the knowledge takes on, since it is at the root of all existence, will protect you from absorption of false information which is not knowledge. There is no need to fear the absorption of false information when you are simply openly seeking to acquire knowledge. And knowledge forms the protection -- all the protection you could ever need.

Q: (L) There are an awful lot of people who are being open and trusting and having faith who are getting zapped and knocked on their rears.

A: No. That is simply your perception. What you are failing to perceive is that these people are not really gathering knowledge. These people are stuck at some point in their pathway to progress and they are undergoing a hidden manifestation of what is referred to in your terms as obsession. Obsession is not knowledge, obsession is stagnation. So, when one becomes obsessed, one actually closes off the absorption and the growth and the progress of soul development which comes with the gaining of true knowledge. For when one becomes obsessed one deteriorates the protection therefore one is open to problems, to tragedies, to all sorts of difficulties. Therefore one experiences same.
 
Welcome Paul

:welcome:

Maybe you think that you situation is bad , but i think its not so bad. I think its normal to be like that at your age. We are all different. Don't hurry to be an adult. It comes naturally with life. As others have already said , find something that you really love, that you really have passion for. Something that interests you.
Living with your parents should not be some major obstacle in you growing. Economic situation is very bas everywhere so staying with your parents is maybe a good opportunity.I have 38 years and due to bad economic situation i still live with my parents
When you are talking about that you don't have much time to do all things you like. Dont get stuck just in Cs materials. Read first all Laura's books, read important threads on the forum, follow some basic dietary advices and detoxification processes explained on this forum and practice EE. After a while you will feel more secure. At least it was case with me.
I also work 9 hours each day , and I find enough time to be on this forum, read some of the recommended material, have a time for my family and home. Sometimes is exhausting but for now it only solution for me.
To grow, to became adult means to learn, to have experience.
You speak then about high strangeness. I know that you cant control you fear , but try think about this.You cant change anything by that. If you only fear you will make yourself very unconformable and nothing more. Remember what Cs have said that knowledge protects . So arm yourself with knowledge as much as you can and you will protect yourself.
Just go slowly and easy. Network here and read all recommend stuff and you will gain knowledge, experience , in other words you will grow up from a afraid children to experienced adult with knowledge.
Also its up to you will you find a job or continue with school. Don`t have any anticipation for the future, but always be prepared. If you like to study go and do it. If you want to work something then work. Either way you will gain experiences, maybe from a different type but still experiences.
Every thing that you will learn no mater how useless may look at first site, someday you may need it in your life.
:thup:
 
Thank you again for your feedback!

@timmyman - I'll try to get out more often, since I've been stuck in my house for quite some time. Ty.

@Alada
1.- Yeah.. I'm not sure what aim to move towards to. I just know I want to grow and become responsible of my life, and for that there are various ways to achieve it, and I'm not sure which one to choose. I guess, I'll first discover my passion and continue from there. However, I'm open to hear more ways to achieve it.

2.- I concur about knowledge, but knowledge protects only when you apply it, right? Which implies you have to remember and understand it well to apply it. Otherwise, it has no use or very little, so it's much more than just gathering knowledge, OSIT. Please correct me if I'm wrong.


@Konstantin - About 'living with your parents', in my case, it has been very very painful that I, honestly, can't it take anymore, hence the need to be responsible of my life. I mean, just to give an idea: a father that is emotionally abusive and controlling to all - especially to my mother; narcissistic beyond belief, talks without stopping and can't stand the least possible remark about his person. And my mother - with Stockholm syndrome - obviously submissive to all of his demands. It HURTS me SO MUCH, that he treats like that his PARTNER and that my mother can't stand on her own and do something about it. But now knowing their life stories, it's not surprising why is it like this. Sure, they have given us (my brothers and me) and loved us as much as they could, and we are thankful for that - it could have been worse. But I still need to forge my future, therefore, the need to grow and become responsible of my life. I don't want to repeat their story, hell, I would never marry - I can't imagine that my sons and partner will suffer the same - so until I successfully work on myself about those things, it's only when I will ever reconsider marriage.

And not only that, I can see things I got from them such as: Mainly the feeeaar, never risking anything even if it could be beneficial on the long run, never try something - keep being stuck, don't talk about the family to anyone, and just see the bad side of everything. For some reason, I don't have the aggressiveness my father has, but my sister does so she compounds this whole thing as she treats bad my mother too. And this is on a daily basis: At morning - father gets really mad for something insignificant at my mother, my sister too, I feel helpless and angry then depressed, then its afternoon - my father gets even angrier and so on; and even worse, recently my father lost his job so we are all in the house all day, on the other hand my mother is gaining power but of course my father gets angrier... this is going to explode someday. I honestly don't know how my mother is still alive. I already have many pains on the liver area, and I've been told it's an emotional cause, no wonder.

So yeah I feel defenseless about this situation and depressed, but staying that way won't help me either, so here I am, trying to keep moving forward.

@Konstantin - Thank you. I wish I could know for sure what is the best thing for me, whether to study or work or prepare or discover my passion (if any). I feel confused, nevertheless, from what I could understand from all of the advices you guys have given me is: to follow my feelings, discover my passion as a result of trying things I could possibly like, then decide whether to choose a career related to that passion or to work to get money to move towards what I can see is best for me, meanwhile I'm gathering knowledge, networking and preparing myself - all without stressing me out, allowing myself to make mistakes, have patience, trust myself and the process, and accept the place I'm at the moment.


Honestly, I would really LOVE to keep gathering knowledge, learning and contribute in everything I possibly can to this group/forum, without worrying about anything else such as money to get food, where to live. That would be the ideal. ...But I guess, I'm just daydreaming - wishful thinking - and being evasive.


Ok... I think I'll try to get some music lessons and see whether I really like that path, meanwhile, somehow get a pressure canner and lots of jars.

About keto diet, AFAIK I'm good, obviously I'm still learning but from what I can tell I'm doing it right for about a year. The orthomolecular courses I had and loved most likely helped. Why then I'm not studying medicine? If there were a career of orthomolecular medicine I definitely would, but because the career is just mainstream medicine... I'm not sure I'm willing to go through all of that.



Again, correct me if I'm wrong. I feel it takes a whole lot of your time reading this, so Thank you for taking the time; I'm trying to be brief. Your suggestions are always appreciated so a big, big thank you and a warm hug! I wish you the very best in life. DCM bless you all.
 
Don't overburden yourself and don't let yourself be intimidated by the work and I cannot stress this enough that it should always include things that are fun! The world is scary enough as it is ;)
 
The other thing that came to my mind is that we sometimes have the tendency to wait until we have figured out everything, made a nice plan with backups etc. But life is different, often we don't know exactly what direction to go.

What I try to do then is to just go in one direction, maybe the one that "feels best" at this moment and then you will see what happens. It might be the wrong direction, but at least you know that now, you can cross off one item from your list, and then you can change direction and go into something else. That way you experiment and you change course according to what happens.

Don't know whether to work or study? Just do one of the two, and see what happens, you can always change. If you can't absolutely not decide with which to start - toss a coin!

Maybe this approach is better than not doing anything, because not doing anything isn't going to get the change you want. Sometimes one needs to be bold, maybe even a little bit crazy.

Reminds me of the saying (Cs?): "Dance with the universe, and the universe will dance with you!"
 
Paul said:
Hi everyone, these questions have been bothering me a lot, and would really appreciate if you can point me in the right direction. So here they go:

I) How do you GROW? How do you become an adult from being a child?

I'm about to be 20, and I still feel I'm a repressed, full of fear, sad weak kid so I've come to realize I need to really grow, to become responsible of my life - a responsible adult - but feel lost because I'm not sure how to do that, even though after some insistence I managed to visit a therapist but feel like I'm still going nowhere. And from what I can see, my narcissistic family isn't much of help and looks like I won't be able to get myself a place to live in quite some time, honestly only a miracle will make that happen. I feel like a lot of ''tools'', understanding, experiences and skills are lacking in me when I compare to others of a similar age, and it doesn't seem that my parents will be able to teach me those things since they behave like a child too in some ways..I really feel STUCK beyond belief.

So I either wallow in self-pity or start growing.

So How did you GROW? From being a child to an adult.



II) I feel completely lost as to what to do. Finished high school and don't even know whether to continue and if so what career to choose.
The question is, how do you find what your heart's desire is? And how did you do it? If I'm guessing correctly, that can help tremendously, judging from this quote from the C's:
"Seek ye first the desire of the heart and all else falls into place."
http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,21622.0.html

And the other question is: Would you suggest to continue studying and choosing a career? Knowing that it seems that poop is about to hit the fan. The dilemma is thus: to continue studying as if there were much more time or to prepare for the upcoming changes as in learning skills, canning, and being part of a community with people that you trust?
I don't think I can or possible to start doing both things at the same time, mainly because of the limited time it seems we have.



III) How do you manage to keep going in spite of the difficulties of your problems? How do you make yourself stronger? I don't feel I have that kind of fortitude.



IV) Over the years I've been lurking and it seems that people is able to have a full-time job, study the material, applying your knowledge (say canning or doing the keto diet), also reading SOTT and networking on the forum, and have your meetings with friends and family. How in the world is that even possible? I mean, for a year now, all of my waking hours I'm in the house, trying to understand the material and that's the ONLY thing I do and I'm already exhausted. I'm barely able to go on with my life and I'm not close to do all those things. So is it really possible? If so, is there something you know that allows you to do all that stuff? I'd really like to know how you do it.



V) How do you manage to lessen or to not fear aliens or related high strangeness?
I believe that it should be the least of our concerns, assuming that's what Laura means when saying "who needs aliens, when you have psychopaths" yet I still find myself in a lot of fear and can't sleep well when thinking that they can abduct and influence in your life, etc.

I understand that FRV is everything and if you were to have a strong FRV then, I guess, you would be almost immune to them and other things. But really, who has a strong FRV or how can you even tell? Or should you be focusing on resolving your problems and don't care about high strangeness phenomena at all?

If I'm understanding the material correctly, you raise your FRV with your everyday choices based on true knowledge and by having a "STO" nature... which seems like very few people accomplish that and it's even harder knowing that also psychology tells us we deceive ourselves and more, sigh.



Sorry for the wall of text, I tried to write it to the point. Any suggestion is deeply appreciated. Thank you!

How do you GROW?
Well in my case, I was about your age - well I was just 18 actually, the Government decided they were going to send me to the war in Vietnam.
I went there twice in the one year, so by the time I was 19, I was a veteran.
Gives you a whole new perspective on life, war does.
 
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