Would really like the network's opinion on how to best handle this situation. My son is in Year 8, & goes to the local high school. Last year some boys that decided to give him a hard time because a bunch of girls and guys turned up for his birthday and even though they were invited they chose not to come, they gave him a hard time for the remaining half of the year. There is one 'ring-leader' who I suspect is jealous of my son. His only claim to fame is that he is a good football player. My son was voted school captain in Year 6, is academic, plays guitar, plays soccer and (here's the main thing) is quite comfortable talking to girls (there are a few girls in his year that have older siblings that are friends of my daughter-so he is used to talking to them & being around girls).
The bullying is insidious-by that I mean it's not overt in the physical sense. It's a gang of them that will call him names as he walks past, criticizes his hair, shoes, socks, school bag etc etc Basically just wanting to wear him down, attack his self-confidence. The saddest thing is that 'friends' that were in his group that used to hang out (heck I had these children sleep over, fed them & looked after them for goodnes sake!) went over to the other group and ganged up on him. So now he just hangs out with 2 or 3 boys, and they too at times can be mean. Recently he had started to make friends with some of the followers who happen to be in his music class, and ring-leader saw that and pulled them into line. Now they are being utterly horrible to my son in that class simply because Simon Said So. Jeez, talk about sheep.
I really feel helpless. I know they will just get worse if I go talk to the school. He doesn't have a solid group behind him to feel confidant in confronting the ring-leader. It is also a very small town, and ring leader has older cousins who are also thug-looking footy players, and I'd hate for them to gang up on my boy sometime when he is skating or hanging out with the few friends he does have. These guys are clever in that they present such an innocent face to the teachers, but out of their sight they spread rumors about my son and work to try and twist people against him. And I find kids these days thrive on drama, so long as they are not the object of it all, who cares!
I suggested he ignore it, and for the moment even if he finds that generally some of the kids who he hangs with are immature, to try and dumb himself down emotionally just to fit in. External considering & strategic enclosure and all that. The sad thing is that the boys in this cohort seem to be nastier and more prone to drama and wanting to exclude people, than the girls are. I think if he had a solid group of trustworthy friends, he'd be fine, he could ignore it more easily. He also goes to martial arts class, and I'm hoping that will help build his self confidence too. Thankfully we have a reprieve as school holidays are on.
I'm sure I'm not the only parent going through this. I keep asking myself - what would Putin do?
The bullying is insidious-by that I mean it's not overt in the physical sense. It's a gang of them that will call him names as he walks past, criticizes his hair, shoes, socks, school bag etc etc Basically just wanting to wear him down, attack his self-confidence. The saddest thing is that 'friends' that were in his group that used to hang out (heck I had these children sleep over, fed them & looked after them for goodnes sake!) went over to the other group and ganged up on him. So now he just hangs out with 2 or 3 boys, and they too at times can be mean. Recently he had started to make friends with some of the followers who happen to be in his music class, and ring-leader saw that and pulled them into line. Now they are being utterly horrible to my son in that class simply because Simon Said So. Jeez, talk about sheep.
I really feel helpless. I know they will just get worse if I go talk to the school. He doesn't have a solid group behind him to feel confidant in confronting the ring-leader. It is also a very small town, and ring leader has older cousins who are also thug-looking footy players, and I'd hate for them to gang up on my boy sometime when he is skating or hanging out with the few friends he does have. These guys are clever in that they present such an innocent face to the teachers, but out of their sight they spread rumors about my son and work to try and twist people against him. And I find kids these days thrive on drama, so long as they are not the object of it all, who cares!
I suggested he ignore it, and for the moment even if he finds that generally some of the kids who he hangs with are immature, to try and dumb himself down emotionally just to fit in. External considering & strategic enclosure and all that. The sad thing is that the boys in this cohort seem to be nastier and more prone to drama and wanting to exclude people, than the girls are. I think if he had a solid group of trustworthy friends, he'd be fine, he could ignore it more easily. He also goes to martial arts class, and I'm hoping that will help build his self confidence too. Thankfully we have a reprieve as school holidays are on.
I'm sure I'm not the only parent going through this. I keep asking myself - what would Putin do?