A very cautionary tale. Reading this thread has really scared me. But I no longer think that fear has anything to do with the real me.
My father called this taking the kingdom of heaven by storm. He told me I was stealing. One ’s self, centered in the abstract thinking center, attempts to access other realms without paying the price of a life for a life. This is how I understand my own experience, and narrow escape from the seduction of something for nothing.
I think I am in the process of paying this price. When I was younger I had no idea of the consequences of certain forms of...pastimes. Nothing like Les Vis though!!! The above quote is so very true. And then after a while denial takes hold when one refuses to listen to the good advice of others, those genuinely concerned about one's welfare. When I realised what I had "become" in relation to the child I once was I wept. It seemed incredible that I could allow myself by choices to fall so very, very low. It was fairly recently, and is an ongoing battle. I think there is hope for people entrenched in denial of varying kinds, but they simply have to be prepared to pay the price. And of course, the price is commensurate with the degree of the "sins" against one's essence. With regards to the "Faces of God" I have seen absolute horror. But, such was my vanity and my hubris, I have come to understand that the horror, and my subsequent breakdown, was necessary. There is always a lesson to be learned, but not if you are not prepared to be humble and accept the objective truth even if it feels like it is killing you. "Greater things than you or I, conduct, instruct, and reason why". With realisation comes penitence. Hopefully.
Wow, sounds like he's really happy with all those entities being on the bus, even welcomes them. That's scary in itself.
Damn right it is. It's like being a 40watt lightbulb in a derelict abandoned mansion, full of hungry ghosts!!
From Paul Beekman Taylor's book on Gurdjieff and Orage:
When Munson met Orage for lunch one day in November to ask if he could join his group, he admitted that he had never had a "revelation." "You are lucky," Orage replied, "such experiences are pathological: Peeping-Tom glimpses of the universe through a smutted window. The first thing to do is clean the window pane."
Perhaps window fallers do serve a purpose after all?
I think he has no idea what he is really dealing with. This type of drugs usually makes you feel all-powerful (maybe that's the reason why he was using at the chateau to begin with: he probably felt vulnerable or insecure and needed a 'pick me up'. Or maybe he can barely function without any drugs, I don't know) and he probably thinks he in control and knows what he is doing.
I have no personal knowledge of those type of substances, but I've been around a fair few "characters" who have done so in my life, and they scarcely demonstrate any real awareness from one sentence to the next. Fragmented just doesn't do it justice (eclipsed?), but the potential for lucidity is impossible until there is sobriety, and then the subsequent suffering, which is necessary if one doesn't face the facts. Les Visibles must be infested if he thinks his behaviour was normal. Detox, Detox, Detox. I need to commit to this fully too, and the EE.
Yes, Les totally disrespected me, my family, my work, my safety, etc
You can totally tell what a person is like when they're wasted on something. In winum veritas, is that the old phrase? I've got to say though I sympathise with Les Vis to a degree, because the pit of denial is a wretched state to be in; but you can only change if you really want to. Blaming others is ludicrous if you have no will.