11 jokes only smart people will understand

Laura

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There are some jokes so intellectual, so utterly above the average IQ range, they elicit head scratches and confused weeping in a corner.

If you get the following jokes, then hats off to you, you smarty pants!

If not... well, not to worry, there's always Google.

1. What do you get if you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

2. Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn’t.

3. I tried walking up a hill without a watch but had neither the time nor the inclination.

4. What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care.

5. What do you get when you cross an octopus with a cow? A reprimand from the Scientific Integrity and Professional Ethics Committee and immediate withdrawal of your grant funding.

6. Your mum is so mean, she has no standard deviation.

7. A German asks for a martini. "Dry?" says the bartender. "Nein, just one."

8. Two women walk into a bar and discuss the Bechdel test.

9. Pavlov is sitting at a bar, when all of the sudden the phone rings. Pavlov gasps, "Oh no, I forgot to feed the dogs".

10. How many Marxists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, the lightbulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

11. I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
 
In a similar vein (and some knowledge of animals is useful here) try this concocted attempt: -

What do you get when you cross a mallard that's just received an invoice with an overweight cat?

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A duck-billed fatty puss.
 
Thanks, those were good. :lol: I had to look up the Bechdel test and kleptomania. I looked up number 5, but am still confused about the cow and octopus, is it something related to biology or something crude?
 
Thanks for the high-brow humor, Laura!

The ones I got are hilariously witty, but there are some that will definitely require more thought or googling to put a smile on my face!

These remind me of a favorite quip: "I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous" ;D
 
3D Student said:
Thanks, those were good. :lol: I had to look up the Bechdel test and kleptomania. I looked up number 5, but am still confused about the cow and octopus, is it something related to biology or something crude?
There are a lot of jokes that go, "what do you get when you cross (animal) with (other animal)?" For example:
Q: "What do you get if you cross an elephant and a rhinoceros?"
A: " 'ell eff I no!" (slurred version of "hell if I know")

This joke is the anti-joke version. You were expecting some funny cross breed, but you get a serious reply. The surprise makes the joke.
 
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