15 Things to "Give up" for the sake of happiness...

L

lewis_86

Padawan Learner
Apologies if this is the wrong part of the forum, or if it's old hat, but I liked it, so I thought I would share. Hope that's cool!

I find particularly numbers 4, 5 and 15 are particularly relevent in relation to my own life (more so in the past), but they all are to an extent...


15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy

1. Give up your need to always be right.

2. Give up your need for control.

3. Give up on blame.

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk.

5. Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible.

6. Give up complaining.

7. Give up the luxury of criticism.

8. Give up your need to impress others.

9. Give up your resistance to change.

10. Give up labels.

11. Give up on your fears.

12. Give up your excuses.

13. Give up the past.

14. Give up attachment.

15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations.

There's more details on:

http://www.finerminds.com/happiness/15-things-give-up-happy/
 
18. Give up meaningless distractions, such as video games and mindless entertainment - leaving time to enrich life with meaningful, fulfilling work and learning
 
19. Give up the people in your life that continue to drain you psychologically/psychically and monetarily.
 
If your goal is happiness then the best thing to do is to give up giving up.
Let's say you are trying to give up any of the above, effort to do so will inevitably cause irritation, and if you are irritated you can't be happy.
 
Anthony said:
If your goal is happiness then the best thing to do is to give up giving up.
Let's say you are trying to give up any of the above, effort to do so will inevitably cause irritation, and if you are irritated you can't be happy.
Click to expand...

"Happiness? But we are taught that happiness lasts only as long as the Illusion lasts... and what is this Illusion? Nobody knows. But it submerges us." -Mouravieff in the introduction to Gnosis, vol. I

I think there should be some irritation, some friction, some dissatisfaction with yourself, otherwise you have no reason to change. Besides, do you really suppose you can rightly know what will make you "happy"?

Then again, G. advises that in the Work we first have to observe for a long time before we can change anything. Since we cannot initially "do", an effort to try and change something or "give something up", even if successful, is likely to bring unintended consequences along with it. That said, I do think we have to try to "do", to make efforts, and to "give up giving up" (or, say, "never give up") seems to me worthwhile advice.

Just my two cents. Good list so far.
 
Anthony said:
If your goal is happiness then the best thing to do is to give up giving up.
Let's say you are trying to give up any of the above, effort to do so will inevitably cause irritation, and if you are irritated you can't be happy.
Click to expand...

Hmm, well lets apply that logic, to a scenario and see if it works. Every time I get annoyed at myself when I'm for example, in the middle of learning a new piece of music - I really should just give up right there and then, because ultimately, the learning process is causing irritation - therefore I cannot be happy...

Although I agree with the first part of your statement to an extent (give up giving up), the second part: "effort to give up = inevitable irritation = can't be happy" logic seems to suggest "avoid irritation by simply not trying" - which doesn't quite sit too well with me. Of course, correct me if I've misread it.
 
Resistense said:
Anthony said:
If your goal is happiness then the best thing to do is to give up giving up.
Let's say you are trying to give up any of the above, effort to do so will inevitably cause irritation, and if you are irritated you can't be happy.
Click to expand...

"Happiness? But we are taught that happiness lasts only as long as the Illusion lasts... and what is this Illusion? Nobody knows. But it submerges us." -Mouravieff in the introduction to Gnosis, vol. I

I think there should be some irritation, some friction, some dissatisfaction with yourself, otherwise you have no reason to change. Besides, do you really suppose you can rightly know what will make you "happy"?

Then again, G. advises that in the Work we first have to observe for a long time before we can change anything. Since we cannot initially "do", an effort to try and change something or "give something up", even if successful, is likely to bring unintended consequences along with it. That said, I do think we have to try to "do", to make efforts, and to "give up giving up" (or, say, "never give up") seems to me worthwhile advice.

Just my two cents. Good list so far.
Click to expand...

Agreed with the notion that some dissatisfaction with yourself (to a degree) can be healthy - i.e. in order to push yourself in whatever direction makes you most fulfilled in life (eg. I'm not doing enough of ...), or adds meaning, or whatever. I think the danger is that the mind can get trapped in negative cycles of thought - whether it be due to harmful experiences, unemployment, chemical imbalances, dwelling too much on *perceived) mistakes of the past, insomnia - or a combination of a lot of things. Once these cycles are established, they can be some what difficult to unpick (and clearly, people who have suffered horrendously at the hands of another person, for example, won't exactly be able to just "let go of the past" and become a "happier" person).

Just my couple of pence, anyway.
 
Above all give up your lies that keep you in the illusion and slavery.
 
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