a strange visit

Opossum

Jedi Master
I had been expecting a visit from someone I am very close to and had not seen in about a year. I know this person has been in tremendous struggle for years and we went through a lot together. When my visitor arrived I was scared almost to faint because when I opened the door the first thing I saw was what I think of as how Satan looks, like a smooth vampire, a projected image of beauty and danger. I also saw a thick murky wall between me and this person and when I looked very hard through the "wall" I saw my friend smiling.
Now I don't often "see" things like this but it does happen sometimes and the only thing I ever see are spirits or attachments overshadowing someone.
I was able to keep my cool and just sort of make a mental note of it and I was very aware during the visit. I actually made a mental list of things this person did while visiting and it was huge! I could barely stand the extreme passive-aggressive behavior which my friend seemed oblivious of doing.
Afterwards I realized this person had been feeding off me like this for years without me realizing it. I don't think they know what they are doing but I am not quite sure of that either. Anyway, this time it didn't work and they left hungry I guess. I am so sad for my dear friend.
 

stellar

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
It sounds like you opened your eyes in more ways than one and stayed alert to note your friends feeding attempt. That cannot be a bad thing. As for how you saw your friend at the door, who knows, maybe you got a glimpse of some other reality.
I've had countless occasions where I 'sense' a person's essence and let that lead me to how I approach them. It can sometimes feel really wierd as in 'this is something out of the ordinary' and I make the contact really short. :/
 

1melissa3

The Force is Strong With This One
It is a profound thing, opossum, what has been given and what has been received with this experience.

From my own experiences it has sent me into different levels of personal developmental debate. Is it myself I see reflected? Is it how I have become? Is this in my friend by which I am most influenced? Do I envy/fear/both such? It can be perhaps said that from my own experiences... all those questions were indeed reverenced... as they are both true and not true within different levels accordingly.

Is it only the 'one' friend that you have in which you 'see' in such a way? Or have you been able to transfer the ability to envision others in the same way(s)?

I was not able for a lot of years to see anyone other than myself in others... but after I developed the ability to better consider others... It came to deliver me by allowing me to accept my own levels of necessary evils, even if most are kept within.

I suppose it would be too much to ask about the history of your relationship with your friend?
 

Opossum

Jedi Master
stellar said:
It sounds like you opened your eyes in more ways than one and stayed alert to note your friends feeding attempt. That cannot be a bad thing. As for how you saw your friend at the door, who knows, maybe you got a glimpse of some other reality.
I've had countless occasions where I 'sense' a person's essence and let that lead me to how I approach them. It can sometimes feel really wierd as in 'this is something out of the ordinary' and I make the contact really short.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I couldn't really cut it short as it was an out of town visit but I think my friend cut it short because of very low energy. I also was very low on energy. It has happened a few times and it always turned out to be that this person had unexpressed resentment toward me and was envious. It could be that by living with a psychopath all my life that my "gut instinct" is flawed so the mind has to show me danger in a visual way. Both of us had been very depressed and weak for a few weeks before the visit so it could be that this person was just being used to attack me but it was very strong and I could see the struggle inside. In spite of it all was a loving experience. Mostly because I was VERY alert and avoided taking it personally. And Also, I could see my friend through the "film/ wall".
1melissa3 said:
It is a profound thing, opossum, what has been given and what has been received with this experience.

From my own experiences it has sent me into different levels of personal developmental debate. Is it myself I see reflected? Is it how I have become? Is this in my friend by which I am most influenced? Do I envy/fear/both such? It can be perhaps said that from my own experiences... all those questions were indeed reverenced... as they are both true and not true within different levels accordingly.

Is it only the 'one' friend that you have in which you 'see' in such a way? Or have you been able to transfer the ability to envision others in the same way(s)?
Yes, I have rarely also seen others this way, very rarely. Usually I will see a different face on a person for a split second, sometimes a stranger, and the face I see is a person whom I have known to be dangerous in some way or deeply troubled and unbalanced or sick. Different faces each time but in the end whomever I saw a face kind of superimposed on top turned out to be very much like the person in the past who had hurt me badly in some way. And even this could be an actual attack by the person's face I saw. As if I am seeing who is attacking me through this person or even to show me that those others in the past did not do it deliberately either. I hope I explained that coherently. A more explicit example and the first time it ever happened follows.

I was working at a salon where a person came in and pulled a nasty con job on the owner which caused her a some problems. About a week later a woman came in and for a split second I saw the former con artist standing in front of me. This new person looked nothing like the former. I was startled by this phenomenon and payed close attention and the new client started trying to run a con which was unsuccessful because of my "warning".
I was not able for a lot of years to see anyone other than myself in others... but after I developed the ability to better consider others... It came to deliver me by allowing me to accept my own levels of necessary evils, even if most are kept within.
I thought of this too, was I seeing some aspect of myself, even as a discarded soul fragment of my own trying to re-connect.
I suppose it would be too much to ask about the history of your relationship with your friend?
For about 20 years very close platonic relationship but not without some conflict at times. We drifted apart as we matured and changed interests. I did ask another person who has known my friend also many years and was told that was what their relationship was always like and my friend was often passive-aggressive toward them since the beginning of their relationship in childhood. I am certain that the passive aggressiveness toward me was minimal before I started "waking up" . I do know my friend has a lot of self-esteem issues and shame from childhood abuse and seems to be trying hard to "start a new life". I am just happy that I was able to stay alert for several hours and this was surprising for me as I disassociate easily when stressed, especially socially stressed.
Thank everyone for replies as it is helping me look at things objectively and without identification and to stay detached from the behavior and still managed to feel good about the visit despite it's extreme weirdness.


*modified to include additional info
 

davidfxl

The Force is Strong With This One
Don't be sorry for your friend, this is just another dimension of feeding. They are what they are. It was most important that you saw the feeding aspect of the visit. The other important part of the contact is to reflect on the behaviour of the person and your reaction. If you have any negative ones, it is the mirror in action for you to see an aspect of your feeding self that is hidden from you. Keep up the good work!!!
 

Opossum

Jedi Master
davidfxl said:
Don't be sorry for your friend, this is just another dimension of feeding. They are what they are. It was most important that you saw the feeding aspect of the visit. The other important part of the contact is to reflect on the behaviour of the person and your reaction. If you have any negative ones, it is the mirror in action for you to see an aspect of your feeding self that is hidden from you. Keep up the good work!!!
Thank you davidfxl for the encouragement. I am still sorry for my friend though. It is very sad to see people go down instead of up but maybe this person needs to hit bottom before coming up. In any case, I feel like I really accomplished something by not allowing myself to be abused anymore.
 
Top Bottom