A Warning Dream

Zadius Sky

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Last week, I had a dream which somewhat gave me a personal sign of warning.

In this dream, I was at my old high school (a small school of k-12 where I've been going for 7 years), hanging out with some of my old friends. Everyone that I knew from there is there, some who died are there, some who moved are there. Both all teachers and students are there. We were all in the gym, chatting. Then, I was outside by the side of the gym building, talking to a first girl that I fell in love with. She then said to me: "You need to stay away from Rachel." I then asked, "Why? Is it because she's narcissist?" She nodded. End of dream.

Rachel (not a real name) was a friend I've known for over 14 years, as she and I have been going to the same k-12 school. She has BPD, and she and I been hanging out few times a week during this past year until recently where we hung out once a week. Exactly two nights after the dream above occurred, she texted me saying, "I need a break from you, sorry bye." I was taken back, and I did not know the reason, so I replied back, "I'll respect your wish, take the time you need." But, then two days after that, she send me a message saying, "we can't be friends anymore, I need this to work with Monica (not a real name; who is twice older than Rachel and married with two kids) and I don't want you to contact me or any of my friends." I then asked "why." She said that I was making her depressed and I didn't meet her 'needs.'

Her friends, meaning everyone from the same school, and some within my area. We have alot of mutual friends, and I am not 'allowed' to talk to them? So, there was nothing else for me to do except to respect her wish and I then deleted my account on myspace (where my 'friends' were her 'friends') last Sunday. When she broke off my friendship and I deleted my account on myspace, I felt somewhat relieved, somewhat free.

I found it quite interesting that my dream mentioned above has forewarned me, or in some way telling me that I'd need to stay away and focus on the Work. During my time with Rachel, I felt constantly drained and trying to 'meet' her needs just to be her friend. She was my Petty Tyrant. When I started to focus on the Work and read alot of books, she hated that and does not want me to read, saying that "reading books hurt your brain, so stop that!" This is what making her depressed.

I then realized my "being there for you" and "be a bestest friend ever regardless the problems" programs were not 'happy,' which caused me to delete my account on myspace. I also realized that I gave in, and I didn't stand up for myself. That's the lesson I painfully learned.

This is my dream and my reflection that followed. I'd appreciate any thoughts.
 

Iconoclast

Jedi Master
Zadius Sky said:
During my time with Rachel, I felt constantly drained and trying to 'meet' her needs just to be her friend.
oh yes... i know that feeling well...
and there is no way around it but to break off contact.

our male brains come up with all kinds of excuses and explanations to keep it going - mostly because there still might be some small chance for sex (weather we can admit that to ourselves or not).



and the information about her trying to keep you away from books makes me think that it is her primary role to drain you of energy and prevent you from gaining knowledge.
 

Zadius Sky

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Iconoclast said:
and the information about her trying to keep you away from books makes me think that it is her primary role to drain you of energy and prevent you from gaining knowledge.
It wasn't until I started reading the "Adventures" series that I began to realize that Rachel's role may be directing me away from gaining knowledge. Also, at that time, I knew that I cannot trust her or do what she wanted me to do. It was actually my "gaining knowledge" that bothered her. I knew somehow we would part ways, but I didn't know when. It was a matter of time.

Thanks for your input, Iconoclast.
 
Zadius Sky, you must be doing something right. I'm sure many folks have experienced someone with this type of energy entering their life just as they are gaining some clear focus on their Real Work. And sometimes also accompanied by a 'warning dream'.

Recently I had a 'perfect' tailor-made, personalized, made-to-my-specs synchronicity-filled meeting with someone. This, after preparing and struggling for 3 years to go abroad for extended research and Work. A week before booking my flight, the beautiful latin american lady I've noticed in my circle for years comes up to me with all the "right" words and actions, and a 'perfect' 'compassion-hook' to boot, starts promising 'paradise'. Then after a week of push-pull manipulation, starts criticizing the things I'm reading (Secret History, social/political research on the web, etc.), my "dark" view (not true), my artistic "obsession", but at the same time enticing me not to 'go away'. Don't recall much detail of the dream that occurred, but it contained a 'vampiric' impression. I explained that there was no possibility of changing my plans, and all of a sudden I was "the most selfish person she'd ever met", "cared nothing for her feelings", "thought only of my self", "was out to use her". Said "never call me". That was the first time I was that close to BPD in such an extreme form (diagnosed, confirmed).
For me it was like this person was 'sent' to distract and drain and test me at a critical time. It's only been 4 months, so it has had the effect of making me a bit hyper-vigilant. But that's probably a good thing. Ya think 4D STS arranges these things?

_______________________________________________________
It's a foolish dog that barks at the flyin bird. - old Jamaican saying
 

Zadius Sky

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Bholanath said:
Ya think 4D STS arranges these things?
I am not sure. But, I do know that, from Laura's experiences and the C's, that STS would try to bring more 'units' to distract you or to 'turn on' the programs in loved ones or friends to 'get in your way.' Last week also, I was having a car trouble, trying to get my brakes fixed and the wheel barrier fixed all within a week (I hope to get my car back from the shop today).

Heh, funny, as I am writing this post, I just got a text message from Rachel: "get ur car fixed? Spending more time at borders and home?" I felt a great fear over me when I saw the message. I thought she's leaving me alone as she wanted. It's seems that she's playing a game. But, all I can do is to ignore her, and I will not play her game.
 

anart

The Living Force
Zadius Sky said:
Heh, funny, as I am writing this post, I got just a text message from Rachel: "get ur car fixed? Spending more time at borders and home?" I felt a great fear over me when I saw the message. I thought she's leaving me alone as she wanted. It's seems that she's playing a game. But, all I can do is to ignore her, and I will not play her game.
You probably shouldn't expect her to stop anytime soon, either. If she is being 'activated' to control your behavior and vector your attention, then she'll keep coming back trying to get a reaction; any reaction. Not sure what cell phone carrier you have, but you might want to give them a call and ask what it takes to change your cell phone number. This is what I had to do at one point, due to unwanted text messages from someone I had removed from my life. I just told the company that I was getting harrassing messages from someone and needed to change the number - they did it right there on the phone with me at no charge. Might be worth looking into. fwiw.
 

j0da

Jedi Council Member
Zadius Sky, at first I thought that "Rachel" made it really easy for you - cutting relationship so abruptly - it's not that common (most of us had some serious problems with getting rid of certain people - those vectoring us away from The Work). But now it seems that "Rachel" is going to play a game.. Keep the shields up, mate.

(after a while)

Dammit, I may as well share with you a bit of my story, but it's ugly, so be forewarned. I had a "friend" few years ago. We were classmates in secondary school and our friendship continued after we went to different universities. He was very bright guy, we understood each other without words and laughed a lot together..we were both kind of outsiders, with somewhat similar problems at home, at school, with girls..etc - you got the picture - we were really bonded together by many factors.

However, all not was fine and dandy between us..this guy somehow always managed to get us both in uncomfortable/dangerous/distressing/shameful situations. When I began unconsciously feel the need of separating ways, he became even more intrusive and finally manipulative. To make the story short one evening in my home ended up really badly..with lots of alcohol, a brief visit of "ladies" and all kind of filth... Exhausted, we both went to sleep - in my home, in my bed (guy didn't want to go home, because he was still living with his parents) I was laying beside my completely drunk mate and I hated myself. I wondered how I managed to end up like this - at the very bottom.. And then it seems I wasn't humiliated enough because my friend puked at me in sleep. Imagine that!

I got furious, woke him up, got him to the bathroom, washed him and told him to leave my house and to disappear from my life forever. But guess what..guy got violent - I wanted to push him out of my appartment, but I couldn't. He hit me in the face and that was it - he sobered momentarily and tried to atone for what he did by...drawing a knife and wanting to cut himself to show me how sorry he was. I was never so scared in my whole life - I was alone in my house with seemingly total psycho armed with damned sharp knife.

After an hour of talking, pleading, screaming, threatening to call his mum/police/medical assistance he left..only to stand by my door and whine till the sunrise. He was coming back everyday to talk to me, but I wouldn't let him into my house again. So he tried to call me - at different hours - morning/noon/evening - I wasn't answering. Then he began to "accidentaly" appear in places where he knew I would be from time to time. For example - when I was skating on my usual route - he was always sitting at the bench, waiting for me.

But most tiring were messages from him - he played masterfull pity tricks, like: "oh, so you are so spiritually evolved now, so enlightened but you leave you long time friend who needs you now more then ever? all your talks about compassion, responsibility - bullshit. you are bad, selfish and VERY FAR away from the path to enlightement, or whatever you are seeking".

My family and peers weren't helpfull at all - they had this particular look in their eyes condemning me for "leaving a friend in trouble".

This guy was part of my life for nine years. Thanks god, it's history now.

So, people...really, watch out - things can get ugly.
 

Zadius Sky

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I wanted to say thanks to fellow seekers here for their support. I will keep my chin up and refuse to give in. I am now realizing that things might get worse in the days ahead and I won't expect Rachel to stop. I will watch out for her.

Since this thread is about a warning dream as regards to my experience and in general. I just found one session with C's that may be related to this:

June 24, 2000

Q: (L) Well, some of the people on the little mail list have been having some frightening dreams. Caroline had her purse stolen, there have been dreams of being attacked, and all that sort of thing. The thing about Caroline's dream was that she dreamed about having groceries stolen, and then a few days later she was in a grocery store and her purse was stolen. She wrote and told us all about the dream in advance of the incident. We analyzed it, but apparently we sort of missed it. Can you comment on Caroline's dream about her groceries being stolen followed by the actual theft of her purse? Is this a form of attack, or a random event. (A) There is a third possibility: that she had this dream and then she attracted the event...
A: Warning. The dream was a warning of upcoming event.
Q: (L) Is this dream AND the event that followed, both some kind of warning about the danger involved with the book she is writing?
A: No.
Q: (L) So, the event was in no way related to her expose or the people around her?
A: Attack.
Q: (L) So, you are saying that the dream warned of the event, and the event was attack. Would she be able to reduce the level of attack by getting away from the people connected to this church system?
A: She must learn her lessons. Which is more important, relationship or quest. When the two conflict, far too many choose to fail to see this!!!!!
That last one hit the spot. Choose to stay in the relationship or choose your soul quest. I think that might be important, especially for the notive seekers. Well, the one thing that I can say here is...I choose the quest.
 

Ruth

The Living Force
Zadius Sky said:
and I don't want you to contact me or any of my friends." I then asked "why." She said that I was making her depressed and I didn't meet her 'needs.'

Her friends, meaning everyone from the same school, and some within my area. We have alot of mutual friends, and I am not 'allowed' to talk to them? So, there was nothing else for me to do except to respect her wish and I then deleted my account on myspace (where my 'friends' were her 'friends') last Sunday.
If you have lots of mutual friends, then I'd be telling this person, 'straight up' that you intend to keep in touch with your friends and if they happen to be her friends too, then, that's just too bad!!

I wouldn't be letting any 'be nice' programs get in the way of my free will, or be the reason for another person's manipulation. But, maybe thats just me. :) And this person just need to grow up if they think that type of behaviour gets them anywhere.

Its funny, but most Personality Disorders are maladaptive behaviours that are taken on in early adulthood in accordance with how the person reacts to being treated by their family and social circle through that time.
 

Meg

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Thanks for sharing your dream and experiences. I had a similar feeling of freedom when I ended a relationship with what I know now is a narcissistic sociopath. That feeling of freedom is a good sign IMO. As Joda said, keep up the shields!
 

Bo

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Hey ZS,

funny because I am going trough something familiar , before I knew of the Work I had an addiction to games and when the work fell in my path I choose to stop playing games and focus on the work, which was a major achievement for me and after a few months when I gained some knowledge, a new guy appeared on our workplace , he seemed like a nice dude to hang out with it, he talked a lot to me and said if I wanted to come to his place and hang out.

I was a bit suspicious at first but decided to go at his place, and when we got there , he had a room with every possible console!! (wii,xbox,xbox360,ps2,wii,PC,psp,nintendo DS) when I saw this room I had a bit of a shock so I just laughed inside of myself and realized that the system tried to get me addicted to games again so I would stop the work, he also had miraculously an extra ps2, he said I could have it for free, I denied that offer of course, and from that time I tell him sorry i'm busy I can't come to your place and play games , he then told me that I probably hated him and didn't want to hang out with him(I know that he was trying to manipulate me unconsciously because I had the knowledge about manipulation) , so I felt sorry for him and said nah I don't hate you , I just have no time, and I realize one part inside of me feels sorry for letting him down and my other part wants to disconnect from this friendship permanently, and continue the work.

So I made a decision to quit my work , so I would stop seeing him, because every time that I did see him he started to talk about freaking games non stop, and now I tell him all the time trough MSN ''sorry i'm busy'' and maybe like this he will stop talking to me, I hope, I think it would be a bit to rude to tell him ''sorry I don't want you to talk to me anymore, you are a distraction''

and I really did try to show him the work,I gave him the link to the wave,I told him that gaming all the time will drain his life but he was not interested he called me a ''science nerd'' and that I am wasting my time, and I realized that the computers had taken his life over completely.

this is a important time we live in, and we cannot let our shields down...so be careful Zadius.. it can get really nasty if we don't watch out.

A: Lesson number 1: Always expect attack. Lesson number 2: Know
the modes of same. Lesson number 3: Know how to counteract
same.
 

Beau

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Adam said:
So I made a decision to quit my work , so I would stop seeing him, because every time that I did see him he started to talk about freaking games non stop, and now I tell him all the time trough MSN ''sorry i'm busy'' and maybe like this he will stop talking to me, I hope, I think it would be a bit to rude to tell him ''sorry I don't want you to talk to me anymore, you are a distraction''
Why don't you just tell him that you have a girlfriend and that you are busy spending time with her? Sending him a link to The Wave probably wasn't too smart, he just can't understand that. He should be able to understand needing to spend time with a significant other.
 

Zadius Sky

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beau said:
Why don't you just tell him that you have a girlfriend and that you are busy spending time with her? Sending him a link to The Wave probably wasn't too smart, he just can't understand that. He should be able to understand needing to spend time with a significant other.
I guess that's a reasonable approach in Adam's situation. By telling someone that you're involved in the Work, they won't understand and they might become "programmed" to distract you further. Trying to talk to them at the level that they would understand, using the norm language of 3rd Density level, such as an example provided by Beau, they would understand and respect. I don't think we should hint at giving other people of what you're doing. Basically, you're drawing attention to yourself. fwiw.

When I started on focusing on the Work, I began reading alot (according to the recommended readings). By spending my time on the readings, Rachel was uncomfortable with that and she noticed the name "Gurdjieff" when I was with her one time and she told me that I was being obsessed with this person. After that, her attitude toward me changed, getting worse and worse. It was a hint of letting STS knows about me through Rachel.

While I cannot say "I have a girlfriend" to Rachel, she knows me too well that I couldn't get a girlfriend. So, she knows I'm currently in social isolation and she 'likes' that (judging from her latest text message to me today).

On another note as relating to this thread, does anyone else here have an experience as regards to 'warning dream'?
 

Gandalf

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Adam said:
So I made a decision to quit my work , so I would stop seeing him, because every time that I did see him he started to talk about freaking games non stop, and now I tell him all the time trough MSN ''sorry i'm busy'' and maybe like this he will stop talking to me, I hope, I think it would be a bit to rude to tell him ''sorry I don't want you to talk to me anymore, you are a distraction''
Hi Adam,

I might be way out but in choosing to quit your work, you are trying to escape the problem. I think the best way is to deal with the problem and learn the lesson. And it could be a solution like Beau proposed, or you do not like games and prefer reading or going outside to take a walk...

If you run away from the problem, that might be quite possible that the Matrix is going to send you another person like this one in our new job.
 

Bo

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
beau said:
Adam said:
So I made a decision to quit my work , so I would stop seeing him, because every time that I did see him he started to talk about freaking games non stop, and now I tell him all the time trough MSN ''sorry i'm busy'' and maybe like this he will stop talking to me, I hope, I think it would be a bit to rude to tell him ''sorry I don't want you to talk to me anymore, you are a distraction''
Why don't you just tell him that you have a girlfriend and that you are busy spending time with her? Sending him a link to The Wave probably wasn't too smart, he just can't understand that. He should be able to understand needing to spend time with a significant other.
well.. I have also tried that , it was one of my first tactics in the beginning but it didn't work, his wining kept on going , I gave him the wave link because I taught that there could be a way for him to save him self or something, because partly I understood what hes going trough but he was not able in realizing it, but I guess I was wrong with sending him the wave link, the problem is he is living pretty much isolated and hes almost 24/7 online on the internet and MSN playing games on his consoles or the PC.

I have also shown to him atm indirectly and directly that I don't like games and like reading(on a bit angry way), it seems to work though but slowly.

namaste:
Hi Adam,

I might be way out but in choosing to quit your work, you are trying to escape the problem. I think the best way is to deal with the problem and learn the lesson. And it could be a solution like Beau proposed, or you do not like games and prefer reading or going outside to take a walk...

If you run away from the problem, that might be quite possible that the Matrix is going to send you another person like this one in our new job.
well Namaste I worked at that place for 3 years and until I had started to do the work, things went worse there, there were also more petty tyrants there against me, letting me do the hard work for example or telling me to work faster.. while I was faster then most people there...I didn't mind doing my work faster or whatever according to them, I learned from the petty tyrants more lessons, but when he came things seriously became different he became a good friend and then when I saw that game room I saw the intention of the Matrix and it made me angry and I had enough of it.

So I do not regret one single minute that I quit that job, I actually don't see it as running away from my problem but acting in favor of my own destiny...if that makes sense..

I can always get another job...but you are right about one thing that the matrix will always send other units to stop you from proceeding.. so maybe it doesn't make a difference to even have another job at all...you will always have to deal with these kind of people.
 
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