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But you do. And don't. You quote neat things. You're a good recall assistant.
As am I.
I'm still not following, your answers are too cryptic for me, and leave so much "between the lines" I can't even begin to guess what's really on your mind. If you have a mirror for me or general criticism, please be specific - like I said, I will accept it in the spirit it is given. If you would rather not discuss it, that's fine too. But I don't see the reason to, ironically, be "wasting people's time", the thing that I feel is happening in this exchange more than anything else in the thread. If you're going to be vague, cryptic, and leave me to fill in the blanks with my own imagination, how is this helpful to me, or to anyone else reading this? Unless I'm just dense and missing some essential point entirely. If you do choose to elaborate - perhaps a swamp thread is a better place for this.
 
I'm still not following, your answers are too cryptic for me, and leave so much "between the lines" I can't even begin to guess what's really on your mind. If you have a mirror for me or general criticism, please be specific - like I said, I will accept it in the spirit it is given. If you would rather not discuss it, that's fine too. But I don't see the reason to, ironically, be "wasting people's time", the thing that I feel is happening in this exchange more than anything else in the thread. If you're going to be vague, cryptic, and leave me to fill in the blanks with my own imagination, how is this helpful to me, or to anyone else reading this? Unless I'm just dense and missing some essential point entirely. If you do choose to elaborate - perhaps a swamp thread is a better place for this.

ScioAgapeOmnis said:
But it does matter what effect my words/actions have on those close to me, and in general those they were meant for, like in this case, fellow forumites, because I don't seek to waste anyone's time[/QUOTE]

But you do [Insult]. And don't. [Contradiction of Insult] You quote neat things. You're a good recall assistant.9[Smooth it over with weak compliments]/QUOTE]
As am I.[What you quote neat things and are a good recall assistant too?]

I agree with ScioAgapeOnmis that your answers are both contradictory and vague. Your answers really seem to be deliberately meant to be in some way clever by giving an insult followed by a weak complements to smooth it over.

If nothing else you might want to brush up on your writing skills to convey your meanings a bit more clearly.
 
Azur,

I should let ScioAgapeOmnis answer first but after re-reading your posts I don't really think you intended any confusion or insult. I had difficulty understanding what you mean/meant (and maybe still don't fully understand) but something just tells me it is not intentional.

I'll give it another try:

But it does matter what effect my words/actions have on those close to me, and in general those they were meant for, like in this case, fellow forumites, because I don't seek to waste anyone's time.


But you do.[my guess is you mean ScioAgapeOmnis does matter and have an effect] And don't.[ Another guess is you mean he does not waste anyone's time] You quote neat things. You're a good recall assistant.[a more positive guess is that this is a sincere compliment]



As am I.[Expression of agreement with ScioAgapeOmnis' intentions?]

Where is telepathy when you need it? "Who's on first?" :-/
 
I'm still not following, your answers are too cryptic for me, and leave so much "between the lines" I can't even begin to guess what's really on your mind. If you have a mirror for me or general criticism, please be specific - like I said, I will accept it in the spirit it is given. If you would rather not discuss it, that's fine too. But I don't see the reason to, ironically, be "wasting people's time", the thing that I feel is happening in this exchange more than anything else in the thread. If you're going to be vague, cryptic, and leave me to fill in the blanks with my own imagination, how is this helpful to me, or to anyone else reading this? Unless I'm just dense and missing some essential point entirely. If you do choose to elaborate - perhaps a swamp thread is a better place for this.

Am I at the other end of a Turing test?

:lol:

If not, you ask a lot of the old questions that pulled signals for incompetent try hard wannabees that were training to... Well I'll leave that alone.

If you have a mirror for me or general criticism, please be specific - like I said, I will accept it in the spirit it is given.

General criticism was overt. And offered with same good spirit. But asking me to give YOU a mirror? You've gotten such a free pass, compared to the old days, and you even bring it up.

Please, there's something in your writings that is under-edged, and not quite clear.

Help me see you better.

I obviously missed your point.
 
Azur,

I should let ScioAgapeOmnis answer first but after re-reading your posts I don't really think you intended any confusion or insult. I had difficulty understanding what you mean/meant (and maybe still don't fully understand) but something just tells me it is not intentional.

I'll give it another try:






Where is telepathy when you need it? "Who's on first?" :-/


goyacobol: both of your takes are correct at the same time. Mostly the second.

As for who's on first: I'm the left fielder: "Why".

Goy: don't stress on this please. Man, last thing I wanted to do was stress anyone out in this thread. You're earnest.

I'm shaking the rust off some old chains here, is all.
 
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Azur, I, too, have difficulty reading your posts. To me, they are cryptic and condescending; and it seems you are trying to see if others are as intelligent as you (seem to think you are) and can figure out what you are saying, or not saying.
 
Yeah, they always have been, haven't they?

Still working on it.

I don't think you've ever addressed me directly since your overland trip in your Toyota truck, way back.

I'm glad you just did. Some self-remembering going on.

...

The little lad can take care of his own words.
 
Azur, I, too, have difficulty reading your posts. To me, they are cryptic and condescending; and it seems you are trying to see if others are as intelligent as you (seem to think you are) and can figure out what you are saying, or not saying.

Azur, I have to agree here. You a speaking in riddles, at least to me, instead of explaining clearly what you are looking for from SAO. It it's not fair to him, or to anyone trying to follow the "conversation". It reminds me of a Q drop.

Just out of curiosity, how is your diet lately?
 
Am I at the other end of a Turing test?

:lol:

If not, you ask a lot of the old questions that pulled signals for incompetent try hard wannabees that were training to... Well I'll leave that alone.



General criticism was overt. And offered with same good spirit. But asking me to give YOU a mirror? You've gotten such a free pass, compared to the old days, and you even bring it up.

Please, there's something in your writings that is under-edged, and not quite clear.

Help me see you better.

I obviously missed your point.
goyacobol: both of your takes are correct at the same time. Mostly the second.

As for who's on first: I'm the left fielder: "Why".

Goy: don't stress on this please. Man, last thing I wanted to do was stress anyone out in this thread. You're earnest.

I'm shaking the rust off some old chains here, is all.
Yeah, they always have been, haven't they?

Still working on it.

I don't think you've ever addressed me directly since your overland trip in your Toyota truck, way back.

I'm glad you just did. Some self-remembering going on.

...

The little lad can take care of his own words.

How can you say you're "still working on it" in reference to being "cryptic and condescending" and immediately do it again in the same breath? Something is clearly bothering you, but all you're giving is insults and vague hints. On the one hand I'm the little lad who is an incompetent try hard wannabe, on the other, I'm supposed to have the competence to interpret your trail of breadcrumbs and buy the right vowel to figure out what your contention is. Wouldn't it make sense to spell it out for a dunce like me?

I won't play a guessing game, sorry. If you're going through something right now, and my posts just happen to somehow bring it out and I just happened to be on the receiving end, then I reiterate my suggestion to post something in the swamp. If this is indeed personal and I or my posts bother you, then you're giving me not much to go on. The one thing I *don't* think this is anymore, is a concern for the time/energy of the rest of the forum, because if you really thought my posts were noise, you wouldn't add noise by playing games, or so I'd think.
 
On the one hand I'm the little lad who is an incompetent try hard wannabe, on the other, I'm supposed to have the competence to interpret your trail of breadcrumbs and buy the right vowel to figure out what your contention is. Wouldn't it make sense to spell it out for a dunce like me?

FWIW, I'm with you SAO. Come on Azur, you can do a better job of communicating than that. For example; I understand what the metaphor 'shaking off chains' means, but what the heck does 'shaking the rust off some old chains' mean?

And what old days? You mean the ones where Anart clobbered people over the head if they didn't meet her expectations?
 
Actually it occurs to me what's happening here. Instead of apologizing to SAO for being rude, Azur has instead opted to protect his ego and play the situation cryptic and aloof. Maybe he just doesn't like SAO. Personally, I don't think that justifies being disrespectful.
 
FWIW, I'm with you SAO. Come on Azur, you can do a better job of communicating than that. For example; I understand what the metaphor 'shaking off chains' means, but what the heck does 'shaking the rust off some old chains' mean?

And what old days? You mean the ones where Anart clobbered people over the head if they didn't meet her expectations?


Yeah, those old days. That petty tyrant left a depth charge knot inside me somewhere that I could never address in this network or even bring up because I had less than zero "standing", at the time. And yes, that was a thing, at that time period. OSIT. There were windows to do so, but even then, it would have been noise compared to what was going on.

I didn't trust that petty tyrant, I wrongly or correctly surmised that there was more going on, and when asked so many times to "bare my thoughts" by that one, I recoiled; maybe it was my Ego or machine protecting itself, but I sniffed something deeper that wasn't right, for good or bad, and yet this was someone trusted in the network. I'm recounting this as I saw it then, not now. But that knot remained. Something in me resisted certain inquiries, like I was being profiled for weaknesses as opposed to being helped. You know?

There was that whole Pepper period where I thought the network had lost it's mind. Or moved on somewhere else.

I had stopped writing long meandering posts like I used to (way back), through advice given (break it down, link concepts between paragraphs, etc ;-) ) and just stopped bothering when it became apparent that I was just generating noise (I can't write worth crap), and being called out for it under excruciating observation from said tyrant. When I say I can't write, I mean it. I write huge thought flows, and then condense it so far down, it only means what I meant, but no one can see through.

Here is where I apologize to SAO. You got a free pass from said tyrant for the same thing I was doing, many, many, many, many, many times before. S/He/They *gushed* over your "throwing it out there" posts. The same standard never seemed to be applied. Never understood why. It doesn't really matter, only that I pulled you into my god damn frustration with that "Knot" left behind.

SAO: like I said above: I resonate with a lot of what you've said before. You're collateral damage for my latest meltdown, and what I always think is my final "breaking of foundations". I apologize for causing you any angst. I don't ask for your forgiveness, but know that if I can find a way to give you back the energy you lost over this, I will. I'm sorry for dragging you into this.

---

I attempted "death by administrator" a few times before. Didn't work. Then, I was annoying a few mods, and I felt bad that (probably) their phones would buzz at odd hours because they were on watch for dangerous posters like me. That was worse for me.

I owe a debt to so many here, I will keep going, and doing the Work.

I do have a request:

Why was I kicked out of the Fellowship?
 
Yeah, those old days. That petty tyrant left a depth charge knot inside me somewhere that I could never address in this network or even bring up because I had less than zero "standing", at the time. And yes, that was a thing, at that time period. OSIT. There were windows to do so, but even then, it would have been noise compared to what was going on.

I didn't trust that petty tyrant, I wrongly or correctly surmised that there was more going on, and when asked so many times to "bare my thoughts" by that one, I recoiled; maybe it was my Ego or machine protecting itself, but I sniffed something deeper that wasn't right, for good or bad, and yet this was someone trusted in the network. I'm recounting this as I saw it then, not now. But that knot remained. Something in me resisted certain inquiries, like I was being profiled for weaknesses as opposed to being helped. You know?

Okay wow, I'm sincerely sorry you felt that way, or still do. You weren't the only member to feel 'gun shy.' It's been a minute since then though.

There was that whole Pepper period where I thought the network had lost it's mind. Or moved on somewhere else.

You're talking about Pepper Fritz? Care to elaborate? PF was something of a motivating inspiration for me personally. Like I wasn't so sure of my natural orientation but one can change even if the worst case scenario might be true.

I had stopped writing long meandering posts like I used to (way back), through advice given (break it down, link concepts between paragraphs, etc ;-) ) and just stopped bothering when it became apparent that I was just generating noise (I can't write worth crap), and being called out for it under excruciating observation from said tyrant. When I say I can't write, I mean it. I write huge thought flows, and then condense it so far down, it only means what I meant, but no one can see through.

Seems a bit like narrative, as you seem to be expressing yourself pretty clearly now.

Here is where I apologize to SAO. You got a free pass from said tyrant for the same thing I was doing, many, many, many, many, many times before. S/He/They *gushed* over your "throwing it out there" posts. The same standard never seemed to be applied. Never understood why. It doesn't really matter, only that I pulled you into my god damn frustration with that "Knot" left behind.

So there we have it. A pretty clear case of projection. Hurt and angry, and I for one don't blame you. Hopefully, by bringing it out in the open you can get it 'aired out' and eventually let it go. Resentments never really hurt anyone but ourselves.

I owe a debt to so many here, I will keep going, and doing the Work.

It seems pretty clear to me that this really means something to you having persisted despite all you just shared. I'm glad you did. (share)
 
I had stopped writing long meandering posts like I used to (way back), through advice given (break it down, link concepts between paragraphs, etc ;-) ) and just stopped bothering when it became apparent that I was just generating noise (I can't write worth crap), and being called out for it under excruciating observation from said tyrant. When I say I can't write, I mean it. I write huge thought flows, and then condense it so far down, it only means what I meant, but no one can see through.
Dude! You're being too hard on yourself, you need to get back on that horse! And, like genero81 says:
Seems a bit like narrative, as you seem to be expressing yourself pretty clearly now.
 
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