mada85
The Cosmic Force
I decided to post this in 'The Work' as the essential focus of my question is using astrology as a tool for becoming more conscious. (Note to moderators: please feel free to move this to a different section if more appropriate.)
Yesterday I met with a couple of contributors to the forum, and at one point found myself overwhelmed by an old program: feelings of inadequacy, uselessness, mechanicalness, feeling like a complete and weird outsider - with no easy way to move out of the program that was running in me. This arose in me in the afternoon and I awoke several times in the night thinking very deeply about the mechanical way I had spoken during our meeting, and feeling quite shocked by seeing how deeply mechanical I really am. The shock is still resonating in me (at 11am this morning). How difficult it seems to be to behave in a truly conscious way!
This morning I checked out the astrology for the time and found some interesting things in my transits, which provide an almost exact model for my experience, in terms of theme and timing, and likely responses/reactions to such a situation.
My current hypothesis is that the birth chart is a map of our 'machine' and that transits - if we are interested in the Work - help us at those times to focus on certain programs and some of the little I's related to the quality of the transit.
I also found that the transit of Mars to my natal Saturn over the past year reflects the timing of my search for a new job, and the very likely timing of starting the new job, with somewhat uncanny precision.
Does all this imply that I am simply an unconscious reaction machine, or that I am in tune with life and the universe, or a mixture of both? Or is it just a coincidence?
Yesterday I met with a couple of contributors to the forum, and at one point found myself overwhelmed by an old program: feelings of inadequacy, uselessness, mechanicalness, feeling like a complete and weird outsider - with no easy way to move out of the program that was running in me. This arose in me in the afternoon and I awoke several times in the night thinking very deeply about the mechanical way I had spoken during our meeting, and feeling quite shocked by seeing how deeply mechanical I really am. The shock is still resonating in me (at 11am this morning). How difficult it seems to be to behave in a truly conscious way!
This morning I checked out the astrology for the time and found some interesting things in my transits, which provide an almost exact model for my experience, in terms of theme and timing, and likely responses/reactions to such a situation.
My current hypothesis is that the birth chart is a map of our 'machine' and that transits - if we are interested in the Work - help us at those times to focus on certain programs and some of the little I's related to the quality of the transit.
I also found that the transit of Mars to my natal Saturn over the past year reflects the timing of my search for a new job, and the very likely timing of starting the new job, with somewhat uncanny precision.
Does all this imply that I am simply an unconscious reaction machine, or that I am in tune with life and the universe, or a mixture of both? Or is it just a coincidence?