Break up with a pathological liar and manipulator

Corvus

Dagobah Resident
I want to share my experience here because it is a very valuable lesson for all, for me worth 10 lives and is not something I easily write about and open so easily. I left my girlfriend recently, we were together about 8 months, we sort of broke up after 3 months but get together again, she was older then me about 4 years, me being 34 she 38.

She is a scorpio I am a lion and astrology said about love affair there has to be maturity on both sides for it to work out or ther would be dishes flying in the end because of our personalities and mind you astrology and all that is not something I was looking much into only after the first break up and little bit during. To make it shorter because it is a long story there could be written much. In the beginning she seemed quite normal, only was complaining about money problems but had good pay but stressful job at the counter of mobile company which was normal for the jobs involving people, was divorced with two kids and was painting her ex in a bad light, her parents were helping her a lot financially and work related at the flat and said she ows them a much.

This painting was gradual and involved things like he cheated on me, I was afraid to leave with two kids, later said when he got drunk he molested her and that he took money from kids also, that he did not pay alimony regulary for kids and that it was to little so she was in the courts often because of it and against his parents because he worked without being registered so to not pay for kids, and she had jelausy problems which is standard issue with scorpios but in her case it was augumented because I thought being the result of past experiences and traumas with an ex, seen that sometimes her hands were shaking (stress) and had that kind of anger in an argument that she would stay silent and rarely confess that she was wrong and you had to reproach her often and gently to smooth things out and all that as said was me thinking she been through a lot saying also she was in 3 longer relationships that were about a year long, and also that one guy cheated her also with an ex girlfried with which he got kid. Her kids were nice kids but older 17 year old had psychological problems and had suicide thoughts but she attributed that to todays enviroment and that many kids had that kind of problems in her class because of today s society, but that it was also about because of her father, and she had fear of being cheated so she was very suspicous of me because we connected on social network and she said and I know also because I met many girls online for dating only and what they said through chat that the situation is catastrophic and many men there are only interested in sex,there are cheaters, perverts, etc...but also there are some that are normal, but she because of that experience online and cheat history of her ex that met women online did have trust issues. First thing I made a mistake is being with a someone who has baggage because you are not someone s psychologist and there should have left but that is a thing that became gradually known because she did not reveal some private things right away which is a normal thing and with times emotions developed that made you ignore those little things, and want to give a hepful and the relationship was developing too fast and she saying that she did not fell in love so fast before. One thing I noticed that repulsed me was their materialism because she had notebook and in it she wrote every penny she spent so to me that was excessive, they were saving on everything and I mean everything, from food to something having to be replaced in a flat for a cheap price they would better try to fix it to save few pennies, and she said that is how they parents tought her and that is a good thing.

First major argument was about me liking some photos and having some girls follow me on instagram because she was jelous and that was from the thin air, unecessary argument because she also had men following her on her account and this was first red flag, and I said I have to think about whole thing because it was excessive from her side and she was sorry and said I do not think I will find again someone like you because I was normal and today it is hard to find someone normal, so I chewed it. Sex was normal, she said it was normal but she had much experience I noticed and very high apetite. But one argument was if I could last longer so that was another red flag because when I asked her that she said it was normal she said yes I said it was normal but if you made an effort it could be great, asked how long others last she said 10 min to an hour, I made an effort to sometimes last very long in latter number, and she was insatiable in that regard I noticed.

And her jelousy came again when my mobile phone was damaged so I used her reserve mobile phone and she read my mail and my social accounts because I did not delete my passwords and all apps on that mobile phone and attacked me why I liked one photo etc, same argument as before, so that was a breaking point and there were and other arguments because I did not pay for a dinner for all but we shared the cost and I invited her, I did not buy her cigarettes when she asked me because I said you are doing nothing now why can not you go yourself but then said give me the money and I will buy them, in other words she wanted me to pay for it and said it and I said you have a good paycheck so I do not see a problem you paying it and she said how was it when you were with someone who does not have money that you would pay and that I look at her that way but the thing being she has the money and not being in that situation, and once attacked me why I did not throw a garbage, it was not what was asked but how it was asked that made me refuse and she got very angry at that, it was more of a command then please.

And she had a grudge that I did not pay sometimes when we went groceries shopping, and that I was giving to little but then said to her I paid for some trips and excursions that were more expensive and other things and when I was free was picking up her with a car to her job and from her job while her car was sitting home because she was saving on a fuel and I do not live with you yet, yes I was sleeping in your flat sometimes and were hanging there with her kids because I live in a house with a mother and on upper floor there is a sister with her kids so it is more convinient to be more at hers. I was also helping her with some repairs at her flat with her father and cooking. One thing I noticed the flat was smaller but she had hard time cleaning it but she did not clean it at all, there was a robot vacuum cleaner, washing machine for dishes and drier but was complaining about children and about having to work after stressfull day at work at home but looking at the job you have in and around house it is nothing and she only watched tv in free time and would exercise when I guided her because did not have much will for gym and probably because I did training for her that she would get there but for free. She wanted to take a credit and buy apartment through help of her parents because that credit was subsized by state so you pay less in interest in the end, and ended getting and buying apartment where she lived because it was on her mother and in that way there is a hole because money goes directly to account when you buy there is no cash in hands but in this way if family memeber has apartment he gives you cash. Then after that when she broke into my accounts I did not contact her and she did not apologise for it, that is she had very hard time with recognition of her faults, big ego I noticed, she saw she said that I am to good for her, that her jelousy is sickness and that she will not ever trust anybody, and that those above mentioned trifles were decisive so I was angry in a way because I fell in love, and she said she looked for someone ambitious and that she is looking for a support for her and daughters, on which I asked what kind and she said all kind, that she is looking for someone she could rely on emotionally and financially, so I said she is looking for a sponsor and what about love and she that you can not live from the love and after that I said to her offensive things and she also to me and it hurt because what I said was true. After that my friend told me that his godfather worked with her and that he did not want to tell me to ruin things but that she had a bad reputation in past and one guy who was director had sex with her at some party and said she was insatiable. He and other friend said that maybe it is not true because his godfather exaggerates things but I asked her about that and she she was offended and sent the messages to my female friend that is girlfriend of my friend how I offended her but did not send her offensive messages so yes it was manipulation and she was playing nice with friends and they seen her as ok person, but that thing about that guy knowing her in sex was something that stayed in my head how he could have known it if he did not have sex with her.

So I contacted my friend astrologists and she said she is more materialist oriented, love is secondary, has a soul but she blocaded her emotions, she was cheated but she also cheated, which I though probably because she was cheated by ex she found someone else while still in toxic marriage, but was overall ok person and that I contact one psychic and astrologist who said she is more active I passive in a buisness sense and that those who do not have money can not go with her but that she is overall ok person and more concentrated on me that I work in negative enviroment and having too sensitive nature and negative entities influencing thoughts more, but I did not take it all as true but it was more of a curiosity and had to know firsthand some things to be sure. That one month we were separeted I decided I had to work on my emotions to not react so much in future because I saw it as my fault partly for reacting and not giving more and there was guilt and emotions so we decided to get together but she was still angry and was constantly attacking me for what I said month ago but I managed to control it all and stay calm despite she being impossible sometimes in her accusations that she constantly brought up and was repulsed by her reactions and did take screenshots of messages and showed them to my friends to secure myself so they saw that she is not really stable and needs therapy in some fields and has afield thinking in some things and she is acting with them, and I said to her she has to work on herself urgently and she seemed she get it and showed desire for a change and thanked me for not giving up on her despite all because I cared for her and that she is in a bad financial situation, she had unexpected bills and there are kids and is waiting to get a credit to help herself in that way, so I gave more and paid more for things because I had more and borrowed some money she did return after getting and I saw she managed to control her jelausy and showed some progress and was "happy" and I decided if there are going to be those exggarated reactions and no control of them again I am gonne and when asked about that story on job she said there were guys who did want to be with her but she did not so they invented stories like that and she was conviencing in her stories, has that gift because she makes it look genuine and sure of herself.

And for a while it was all good but then again she started to find arguments for small things for the sake of argument and having her way and suck energy so we got to the point of me leaving her because there was one argument about her child getting expensive snickers because all other kids in class had them and in that way I was repulsed by that kind of materialist thinking and going with the crowd but she did not want her children marginalised and her friend bought cheap snickers to her child and other kids laughed so I said the values are totally wrong and she agreed but that is how the world functions, so in other words go with to flow. She said she did overreact and that is sorry but I said she had to work on her reactions and anger because there is no way further so she thought it is over but I felt sorry for her, and did contribute to paying snickers. After that she started saying that arguments are normal, yes they are normal in relationship but having them so often and her being angry over small things for two days and you always having to comfort her and reproach is not because of her ego and having to be always right, it was her nature I came to conclusion to argue as said in natal chart, not result of some unreleased anger, anger is that selfish one as a kid that does not get what he wants and has to always have it s way, and there were many contradictions coming like things before being important but now not anymore, so change of wind change of opinion.

Also she got a credit 70 000 e and things stayed the same, she did not spend more but said she with the help of mother that is real activator and family head has to keep that money because she bought house for renting in camp on sea and I said that is a lot of money , if you take 1000e to balance your negative account you do not have problems but she said if she starts like that she is going to spend it all, so what to expect from someone who saves pennies. But I decided to ask more when paying because I had enough paying most of things, wanted to be equal and balanced, she did pay things not that she did not but it was smaller and rarely always saying she has kids, other bills and has to save, so one final straw that came was when we went on a trip to poll and she bought a house in camp on a sea and I said my advice is not to buy now anything because if there is spike in prices people will not afford it and your credit rate is coming and you have no profit so she get mad that I am not supporting her and other things came to the floor that I am not ambitious and do not have my own flat, etc..., and said that when she get a house for rent she is not going to change a lot in spending so all was clear,and one prior argument we had I realized what astronomer friend said that she has delusions and she said that she expected me to be her light on which I said that is totaly unrealistic and selfish, you do not do anything and expect from other all and how this life now is only surviving and I said to most people here it is like that but she said not all, I said yes that s upper 5 per cent-she was looking on her sister who is influencer and director in one insurance firm and her husband is also director in t mobile, but she is not good with her sister and said that her sister is ashamed of their parents because they do not have so much money as her husbands parents and one example said when their parents came with the car at her sisters place their car was leaking oil so her husband put something beneth it to not drip in yard. And said when her parents came in visit with a cake his side of family did not offer food to their parents but only to his side of family present. I was saying this is beyond sick, like the worst zionsit jews and those people up live in different reality, hardcore materialism.

So back to the trip we went to dinner later, and this was a bit expensive restaurant so I said it and she got angry and said she felt guilt because of it that it made her fell like that because I said it but these time we shared costs equally and she probably would not if I did not mentioned it and later said it was not problem earlier, but I saw this is going to be end, she is spending yours but saving hers maximally. On the trip she said that she was after marriage meeting guys on social networks because was in bad mood and felt sorry for herself and that she is no saint but she is now honest others are not, and when i asked with how many she did not say so in other words a lot and when you connect that with her sexual apettites and that story friend said of her past big red flag despite she saying she was looking for something serious but those guys where just for sex, and was thinking yeah right it was their fault like always.

Soon before break up her shower hose was leaking so she asked me how to fix it I said you have to buy new and she said if it is possible without any cost and I said no and her father tried to close leakage with tape but as I said it would not work so I bought her a new one and fixed it but was GTFO because this was second time she said without cost. First time it was when she was putting used kitchen and our family friend fixed wood without cost and her mother finds online things that are for free so she found that kitchen, anything as long you do not have to pay.

When we were walking in park issue of finances came again and she said she has no money and she is giving in other ways and I was thinking what other ways emotionally you are down most of a time so this does not hold a water and it was an argument and when we where at a drink one women there was all plastic with one man and I said sponsor women and she said in anger smart woman, and she started yelling in a car i do not understand that she has no money because i said it has to be equal more or less etc so I saw no point anymore and just styed silent. This ended with argument and at flat there was nothing to eat she did not made any food so I decided that is it. She made food once a day usually and I did with her when was present sometimes but also I bought it for her and kids when she was working late and I picked her up with a car. Then we did not hear for day because she was mad because of argument and I wanted to see her alive to make it settled and she said I do not know if we can meet so I said do you want or do you do not want because I had enough of that games and she said no and I said that is it it is over, and texted her next day that she has to seriously work on self she will self destruct, she even said she can no more be on the job it isn stressful but when said why you do not find another then she said my paycheck will be much lower and I can not afford it.

Four days later we broke I saw a story on her fb where she put a picture of being on a beach and video of being in a disco and photto of two glasses of drinks and when she saw I seen it she removed it and sent me probably drunk a messages on viber and sms which I blocked after that where there was pure poison coming that I drop dead that she returned me now, and I asked what she said I am stupid etc, that I will remember her all my pathetic life and other insults but I was wondering she did not have money and went on a trip. But one thought entertained me what if those stories from friend were true and smallest child said that her father her ex said she did first cheat on him and plus that of being on social networks, I concluded it was probably true and when she send me another insult I sent her that she is cheater, liar and manipulator and blocked her on inst where she sent me that accept message. So I called that prior psychic and asked him did she cheat first on those exes so they left or returned favor and he said yes sexual promiscuity so next question was did she cheat on me and he said he saw a stranger on a beach boat trip so I concluded that was that when she said I retuned the favor 4 days after we broke on beach, so she really is beyond crazy and luckily had a luck of breaking it on time and not getting cheated so I do not know what she thinks she accomplished when we ended it and all she sees is power play, who is going to dominate and she having a last say, no emotions just sex, money and self interest, coldness what also psychic said through natal map. But all were lies, lies, lies and acting and projection on others what she did and acting like victim while being a sexual predator and sponsor women while having a mask of normality because she acted at first normal and clothed normal not like true gold diggers, pathological manipulator. Funny her mother send me a message saying if they have any debt because when we broke up I asked she return money for a snickers which she did but I returned it back by mail because felt bad for a child, and I said all is paid and does she know her daughter is a cheater, did cheat all exes, has bad reputation, etc...and normally she said she defends her and that I should go to a monastery so I put laughing emoji, said I know and good luck and block. Later someone called me from private number, maybe her but did not pick up, bruised ego probably, and she is also probably the same because what i saw she is a brain husband is errand boy doing manual work only, and she had psychic breakdown once so she is not stable really and when she and her husband talk that is more a yelling who is more right so it is all ego driven, all family being big egoist worshipping materialist. Psychic said she has deep Neptun and retrograde so masks, secrets and triple deceit, deceit in deceit in deceit, so given the chance she would cheat like she cheated all else, given the above, has Venera in virgo, astrology does not lie so it is a helpful tool if you want to know which person someone is before getting in anything together. Said she has liking for me in physical and psychic sense and that was it, so she has no emotions, I wonder if her parents messed her so bad or is it nature, does not matter.

Her ex said that she first cheated on him with one security guard and that her daughters said she was with four guys for longer plus me and that I was ok but also that she took home guys from out or social networks at home and had sex with them while kids are home so no wonder children are like that, and also when she was on a sea in a small apartment she took guy in and had sex there while children where there. I got sick listening to it and still feel when think about it. I told her when breaking up all goes around and all comes around. I was reading transcripts volume 1997 and there was scorpio as a symbol of wisdom or selfdestruction and most people have bad things to say about them, if they are not working on self avoid because they have big potential for psychopathology in negative aspect.

Psychic said I was experimenting and I was in a way looking for some experience but also that I am sensitive to women and fell in love easily and that I am doing too much helping others, should be more selfish, maybe what stayed from other lives and that she will want to get back. To listen to intuition that I have and sometimes emotions cloud it just like Cs said, and said I ambeyond two worlds have open path to sucess in material world or choosing more cosmic path. It was a peak down under on other side and boy it is ugly and sick among some poeple, some are beyond help, but it was also a very valuable lesson but boy do I have luck with those lessons.
 

Corvus

Dagobah Resident
I don't see what you are claiming about this individual at all. However, I DO see a lot of places where you could have been more of a man but were not up to the task.
I am claiming this individual is a sex addict that cheated her exes and is looking only for self interest, there is no love or emotions. She is looking for a man who is good looking and has money and which she will control and he should tolerate her every illogical whim, and where there is an oportunnity she woukd cheat because she probably gets bored with same partner and looks for another because of excitement like every other addict. I think I was more then clear. She was giving little but expecting you give all, it was unbalanced. Nobody would be up to task because she is highly delusional and selfish in that regard. Can you name those places?
 
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Corvus

Dagobah Resident
I am claiming this individual is a sex addict that cheated her exes and is looking only for self interest, there is no love or emotions. She is looking for a man who is good looking and has money and which she will control and he should tolerate her every illogical whim, and where there is an oportunnity she woukd cheat because she probably gets bored with same partner and looks for another because of excitement like every other addict. I think I was more then clear. She was giving little but expecting you give all, it was unbalanced. Nobody would be up to task because she is highly delusional and selfish in that regard. Can you name those places?
She also said no body before did what I did for her and being afraid she would lose me because she will not find another like that, me being a true man, and the best boyfriend she had till now and that she shoukd have married me, but probably said to others the same, that nobody took her before two times in a week to expensive dinner. The thing being I was paying most of things and it was not balanced and if she cared and had emotions she would not slept with another one few days later, it is animalistic. Once she also said I should find someone normal and I being to good for her but that I did not connect until found those other hidden things.
 

Corvus

Dagobah Resident
I am claiming this individual is a sex addict that cheated her exes and is looking only for self interest, there is no love or emotions. She is looking for a man who is good looking and has money and which she will control and he should tolerate her every illogical whim, and where there is an oportunnity she woukd cheat because she probably gets bored with same partner and looks for another because of excitement like every other addict. I think I was more then clear. She was giving little but expecting you give all, it was unbalanced. Nobody would be up to task because she is highly delusional and selfish in that regard. Can you name those places?
She also said no body before did what I did for her and being afraid she would lose me because she will not find another like that, me being a true man, and the best boyfriend she had till now and that she shoukd have married me, but probably said to others the same, that nobody took her before two times in a week to expensive dinner. The thing being I was paying most of things and it was not balanced and if she cared and had emotions she would not slept with another one few days later, it is animalistic. Once she also said I should find someone normal and I being to good for her but that I did not connect until found those other hidden things and I was more then clear hwr mother being conscious and admitting it was true in a way.
 

cinnamon

Jedi
FOTCM Member
One thing I noticed that repulsed me was their materialism because she had notebook and in it she wrote every penny she spent so to me that was excessive, they were saving on everything and I mean everything, from food to something having to be replaced in a flat for a cheap price they would better try to fix it to save few pennies, and she said that is how they parents tought her and that is a good thing.
How is keeping a budget and being responsible with your money 'materialism'?

First major argument was about me liking some photos and having some girls follow me on instagram because she was jelous and that was from the thin air, unecessary argument because she also had men following her on her account and this was first red flag, and I said I have to think about whole thing because it was excessive from her side and she was sorry and said I do not think I will find again someone like you because I was normal and today it is hard to find someone normal, so I chewed it. Sex was normal, she said it was normal but she had much experience I noticed and very high apetite. But one argument was if I could last longer so that was another red flag because when I asked her that she said it was normal she said yes I said it was normal but if you made an effort it could be great, asked how long others last she said 10 min to an hour, I made an effort to sometimes last very long in latter number, and she was insatiable in that regard I noticed.
Were vulgar details really necessary here? Part of 'being a man' is behaving honorably. Good grief!

other arguments because I did not pay for a dinner for all but we shared the cost and I invited her
When you invite someone to dinner, etiquette requires that you pay for it.

in other words she wanted me to pay for it and said it and I said you have a good paycheck so I do not see a problem you paying it and she said how was it when you were with someone who does not have money that you would pay and that I look at her that way but the thing being she has the money and not being in that situation
You set an expectation of generosity and then demonstrated that it was conditional.

And she had a grudge that I did not pay sometimes when we went groceries shopping, and that I was giving to little but then said to her I paid for some trips and excursions that were more expensive and other things and when I was free was picking up her with a car to her job and from her job while her car was sitting home because she was saving on a fuel and I do not live with you yet, yes I was sleeping in your flat sometimes and were hanging there with her kids because I live in a house with a mother and on upper floor there is a sister with her kids so it is more convinient to be more at hers. I was also helping her with some repairs at her flat with her father and cooking. One thing I noticed the flat was smaller but she had hard time cleaning it but she did not clean it at all, there was a robot vacuum cleaner, washing machine for dishes and drier but was complaining about children and about having to work after stressfull day at work at home but looking at the job you have in and around house it is nothing and she only watched tv in free time and would exercise when I guided her because did not have much will for gym and probably because I did training for her that she would get there but for free. She wanted to take a credit and buy apartment through help of her parents because that credit was subsized by state so you pay less in interest in the end, and ended getting and buying apartment where she lived because it was on her mother and in that way there is a hole because money goes directly to account when you buy there is no cash in hands but in this way if family memeber has apartment he gives you cash. Then after that when she broke into my accounts I did not contact her and she did not apologise for it, that is she had very hard time with recognition of her faults, big ego I noticed, she saw she said that I am to good for her, that her jelousy is sickness and that she will not ever trust anybody, and that those above mentioned trifles were decisive so I was angry in a way because I fell in love, and she said she looked for someone ambitious and that she is looking for a support for her and daughters, on which I asked what kind and she said all kind, that she is looking for someone she could rely on emotionally and financially, so I said she is looking for a sponsor and what about love and she that you can not live from the love and after that I said to her offensive things and she also to me and it hurt because what I said was true.
So, she wants a man who, shall we say, can bring home the bacon, and you want to eat, fornicate, and do home improvement projects? Do you have a stressful job?

But I decided to ask more when paying because I had enough paying most of things, wanted to be equal and balanced, she did pay things not that she did not but it was smaller and rarely always saying she has kids, other bills and has to save, so one final straw that came was when we went on a trip to poll and she bought a house in camp on a sea and I said my advice is not to buy now anything because if there is spike in prices people will not afford it and your credit rate is coming and you have no profit so she get mad that I am not supporting her and other things came to the floor that I am not ambitious and do not have my own flat, etc.
Grow a pair of cojones and find a way of making money such that you can maintain your own apartment and are not living with your mother. Good grief!

and said that when she get a house for rent she is not going to change a lot in spending so all was clear,and one prior argument we had I realized what astronomer friend said that she has delusions and she said that she expected me to be her light on which I said that is totaly unrealistic and selfish, you do not do anything and expect from other all and how this life now is only surviving and I said to most people here it is like that but she said not all, I said yes that s upper 5 per cent-she was looking on her sister who is influencer and director in one insurance firm and her husband is also director in t mobile, but she is not good with her sister and said that her sister is ashamed of their parents because they do not have so much money as her husbands parents and one example said when their parents came with the car at her sisters place their car was leaking oil so her husband put something beneth it to not drip in yard. And said when her parents came in visit with a cake his side of family did not offer food to their parents but only to his side of family present. I was saying this is beyond sick, like the worst zionsit jews and those people up live in different reality, hardcore materialism.
Why do you declare that serving society through providing services that others will pay for is 'materialism'? Many people are where they are in life because they have refused to put in the extra time and work to move ahead - that is fine, one can live on little, but is it one's highest calling to drift through life?

So back to the trip we went to dinner later, and this was a bit expensive restaurant so I said it and she got angry and said she felt guilt because of it that it made her fell like that because I said it but these time we shared costs equally and she probably would not if I did not mentioned it and later said it was not problem earlier, but I saw this is going to be end, she is spending yours but saving hers maximally. On the trip she said that she was after marriage meeting guys on social networks because was in bad mood and felt sorry for herself and that she is no saint but she is now honest others are not, and when i asked with how many she did not say so in other words a lot and when you connect that with her sexual apettites and that story friend said of her past big red flag despite she saying she was looking for something serious but those guys where just for sex, and was thinking yeah right it was their fault like always.
You went into vulgar details earlier in your post - do you not have the same motives as 'those guys'?

When we were walking in park issue of finances came again and she said she has no money and she is giving in other ways and I was thinking what other ways emotionally you are down most of a time so this does not hold a water and it was an argument and when we where at a drink one women there was all plastic with one man and I said sponsor women and she said in anger smart woman
At no point have you discussed how you're also emotionally draining. And - if we are in an overly material reality where these guys have only one thing on their minds, why should the 'plastic woman' not accept reality as it is and play the game?

so she really is beyond crazy
She entertained you, no?

But all were lies, lies, lies and acting and projection on others what she did and acting like victim while being a sexual predator and sponsor women while having a mask of normality because she acted at first normal and clothed normal not like true gold diggers, pathological manipulator. Funny her mother send me a message saying if they have any debt because when we broke up I asked she return money for a snickers which she did but I returned it back by mail because felt bad for a child, and I said all is paid and does she know her daughter is a cheater, did cheat all exes, has bad reputation, etc...and normally she said she defends her and that I should go to a monastery so I put laughing emoji, said I know and good luck and block. Later someone called me from private number, maybe her but did not pick up, bruised ego probably, and she is also probably the same because what i saw she is a brain husband is errand boy doing manual work only, and she had psychic breakdown once so she is not stable really and when she and her husband talk that is more a yelling who is more right so it is all ego driven, all family being big egoist worshipping materialist.
Did you not consent? What is wrong with wanting to be supported a bit? Why do you feel entitled to fidelity while fornicating? What is wrong with her wanting a man who can do more financially valuable work?

Seems like you are projecting your financial failures on to her.
 

Martina

Jedi Council Member
FOTCM Member
I am claiming this individual is a sex addict that cheated her exes and is looking only for self interest, there is no love or emotions. She is looking for a man who is good looking and has money and which she will control and he should tolerate her every illogical whim, and where there is an oportunnity she woukd cheat because she probably gets bored with same partner and looks for another because of excitement like every other addict. I think I was more then clear. She was giving little but expecting you give all, it was unbalanced. Nobody would be up to task because she is highly delusional and selfish in that regard. Can you name those places?
I have a question Corvus: why did you start dating this lady, what drove you to her?
 

Beau

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I am claiming this individual is a sex addict that cheated her exes and is looking only for self interest, there is no love or emotions. She is looking for a man who is good looking and has money and which she will control and he should tolerate her every illogical whim, and where there is an oportunnity she woukd cheat because she probably gets bored with same partner and looks for another because of excitement like every other addict. I think I was more then clear. She was giving little but expecting you give all, it was unbalanced. Nobody would be up to task because she is highly delusional and selfish in that regard. Can you name those places?
Setting aside your side of the story - maybe you should get to know someone better before jumping into an intimate relationship with them.
 

Corvus

Dagobah Resident
How is keeping a budget and being responsible with your money 'materialism'?
You do not understand, I am not telling it is not a good thing to be responsible but this is too excessive and probably normal for some European protestant countries but not here at us for most people, so basically starving yourself and kids with meals while you can afford it for some future project and then when you also have enough money later you will continue starving self still normal for you?And coming home having nothing to eat because she was in no mood making something to eat and having to order something from outside and buying often dinner is normal to you? That is why it is materialistic, the end goal is having more and more money for the sake of money not for the sake of making your life easier. And the second time we met I was having old viking historical ring on my finger and she asked me how much does it cost which was first alert and felt weird.

Were vulgar details really necessary here? Part of 'being a man' is behaving honorably. Good grief!
I do not see it as vulgar, it depends on person openess, for some yes for others not,yes sex topics are taboo for some, because of societies influence making it like that while on the other hand many talk about in secretly and it is necessary here for some understanding.

When you invite someone to dinner, etiquette requires that you pay for it.
Yes, that was a mistake from my side but you see here where I live and most of my friends that are in marriage and dating share equally because those times when men were only working and paying is over, women are also working and she had bigger pay then me.
You went into vulgar details earlier in your post - do you not have the same motives as 'those guys'?
No
You set an expectation of generosity and then demonstrated that it was conditional.
I was putting some limits and expecting balanced approach and in that way knowing she cared also and not only using me.

So, she wants a man who, shall we say, can bring home the bacon, and you want to eat, fornicate, and do home improvement projects? Do you have a stressful job?
Yes, as a police officer, maybe you should try it if you can grow a pair of cojones .
Grow a pair of cojones and find a way of making money such that you can maintain your own apartment and are not living with your mother. Good grief!
Here comes your ignorance at play, you see I have a good paycheck for the state standard but not enough so I can afford paying for an apartment, car and food alone because I would very fast end up broke because all is expensive and pay not big if not living with someone else to share the costs and you see mother is old and sick, there is also divorced sister with problems on the upper floor with two kids, mother has almost no pension after 40 years of hard work so you see I have to help almost alone finnancialy my mother and helping around a house which is not a cheap thing when the most country residents are poor and barley making ends meat. You see should try for a few years to come here from West and se how long would you last my friend.

Why do you declare that serving society through providing services that others will pay for is 'materialism'? Many people are where they are in life because they have refused to put in the extra time and work to move ahead - that is fine, one can live on little, but is it one's highest calling to drift through life?
Here again comes your ignorance which is suprising because you indirectly called 95 percent or more of regions inhabitants being drifters, it is not so much of not wanting to work and not working but pay being low and there being no jobs because economy being destoryed by politicians with the help of western democracy for almost 30 years, corruption all over and only way you can succed by having political connections and nepotism, those who want to work end up in bottom and those who work the least have money and do nothing because they are put in positions. You westerners have hard time knowing that because you do not live that kind of life.
At no point have you discussed how you're also emotionally draining. And - if we are in an overly material reality where these guys have only one thing on their minds, why should the 'plastic woman' not accept reality as it is and play the game?
You know me in person and that I am emotionally draining? Let she play the game but I do not want to play with that kind of woman because I do not see money as a source of happines and those kind of people have much to learn and those kind of people leave you at the first sign of trouble so not a someone you want to spent your time with.

She entertained you, no?
No it was opposite.

Did you not consent? What is wrong with wanting to be supported a bit? Why do you feel entitled to fidelity while fornicating? What is wrong with her wanting a man who can do more financially valuable work?

Seems like you are projecting your financial failures on to her.
Nothing is wrong with being supported a bit but the problem is supporting someone a lot and getting sh.. in return and while having a relationship with someone it is normal to be faitfull where I live and if you see it as ankward get your head straight.
Those who are accomplished here are those dad s sons and criminal taikuns who drive expensive cars and can afford anything without a day of work, so bravo for your ignorance again, but those look for younger girls not older with kids and like she said nobody wanted to accept her really because of kids, and I was one who accepted because I am very open and helpful. And her flat is not hers, it is her parents so it is two faced to ask from me while if there were not her parents who were helping her finnancialy and jumping in she would not bode well, and I also paid her debt when her account got blocaded, and I was in different situation because I was finnancialy supporting my family and then also her while she was being helped.

I have a question Corvus: why did you start dating this lady, what drove you to her?
She seemed normal and by talk like a nice person at first, I was not asking much, just wanted a relationship. Only mistake I made was that I needed to be harder and not tolerate many things and when that came it ended relationship, she did not at first tolerate compromises and when told her there has to be some she said then find another and I thought she was damaged and wanted to help her, but later was more open to compromise because she saw I started paying most things,, and my female friend said while they were driving with her and I said why they did not tell me sooner that she said last one she was with was younger 13 years from her and if there are some arguments and tensions in relationship men should be dumped and also think that women are stronger then men.
 

Corvus

Dagobah Resident
Setting aside your side of the story - maybe you should get to know someone better before jumping into an intimate relationship with them.
That was what I was doing, was not hurrying things but she was hurrying wanted me to go to an apartment after couple a months but I did not wanted thought it being too soon, wanting to wait minimum a year, and one day after spending two days at hers place deciding for a third day to work at the house and take some rest she decided it is not a good idea being too early because I was not doing like she wanted, and saying I do not want to pressure you could leave then and you always have place to go and I do not and was thinkg of course you do not you have your that is yours mother flat so was wth. She wanted to control things and was also talking about getting engaged and ex said she said the same thing to all exes, and being contradictory saying one time we do not have to be married to be in serious relationship and later we are not commited so.....and the astrologer and psychic is good one of the best in region and rarely misses things because he got it all right about me and how my father died. How do you propose you can get person better before going into intimate relationship?
 
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Zzartemis

Jedi Council Member
I'd also question why would you consult astrology and psychics about the woman, @Corvus ?
Chances of you getting served up exactly what you already believe are high.

Bit of life observations from an old school dinosaur:

It's best to meet dating candidates, in person, at places where ppl share common interests.

Never offer up or ask about past sexual encounters...No one can handle that...And you'd be starting a budding relationship...that's what you build upon.

Realize that not all men and women are automatically sexually compatible.

If you're gonna date a single parent, in this case a woman, they'd be stretched financially and for time and attention. And women can an do size up men as to which would be compatible in many areas...not just money.
 

SOTTREADER

The Living Force
@Corvus from the way you are writing I get the impression your thinking is muddled on this issue. I also get the impression you are looking for validation i.e., for people to say this woman is as you perceive and describe her.

From my reading of your post, I don't think you have self reflected on yourself and your contribution to the situation. You come across as a bit demanding - she should be this way, she should be that way. She makes demands on you which drive you up the wall but I don't think you are aware of the demands you made on her. It seems like a war of both sides demanding something from the other and then proceeding to throw a tantrum when the demand is not met. There appears to be a lack of compassion, understanding and patience on both sides.

She doesn't seem perfect or ideal from your description of her (but who is?) but I don't think this makes her this devil you are trying to portray. You should look at the role you played first and foremost - this is where you learn the lessons about yourself.

Try to communicate less in a demanding (and forceful) tone and more in an inquisitive one e.g. you could have asked Laura to give you examples of the situation she saw you could have manned up (and what she see's as manning up).

Assuming your aim for making this thread was to learn something, how do you intend to do that if you don't ask questions but rather write in a way to try and make people believe what you are saying and then become agitated and forceful if they ask you questions or throw a different perspective?
 
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