Conversations with the unseen ?

[sairie]

I am wondering if it is normal for an adult to have what seems to me like a imaginary friend ? I am trying to remember any time when my mother was in a nice, good or seemingly happy state and this is one of the few that sticks out.

She is usually sitting with one leg crossed and its shaking so much so that you can feel the vibration if your anywhere near her in the same room. she is usually also filing her nails which is a big thing they are important, they way they look and are well maintained. Perfect looking, and as she is doing both while she is having a conversation in a whispered voice with someone who I could never see or hear yet she could, sometimes shed tilt her head up and side ways as she is listening to whom ever it is she is talking with. As though it were a private and deeply personal conversation because no matter how quiet I became I could never make out a word of what she talked about. This could gone on while she was in a room with others whom shed ignore and you would really have to shout to get her attention or in a room where she was alone.

I wonder if it is a sign of a mental illness of some sort that I have yet to read of and I am reading now about Narcissistic Personality and Schizophrenia. Or could it be an attached entity ? I heard that when she was in her 20's with friends had an experiment with the Ouija board that had some really bad results and an actual fire that broke out in the room doing damage.
As far as I know she still has these conversations daily. Though I am not sure if they are the result of this or were there before.

If anyone has any ideas or leads for me that would help in my understanding I would appreciate it.

 

[Mahael859]

I'm not qualified to answer the question the you posed but I have a question for you:
Did you ever asked anything about this matter directly to her?
like: Mom, I had the impression that sometimes you seems like talking to someone when you are alone...
May I dare to ask how is your relation with her?Do you talk to each other?
Did she ever lost a beloved ones?

 

[SMM]

I am not sure on how to answer but as a lead: Martha Stout's book "The Myth of Sanity", or any of the recommended books on Narcissism from here: http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,4718.0.html, is a good place to start.
Martha goes into dissociation quite a bit - talking about fragmented/dissociate states. Hope this helps.

 

[sairie]

Intothefield- Thank you for the reply !

No we do not at this time talk. I have not spoken to her since 2001 I asked for help when I was already unemployed and on the edge of becoming homeless on top of that, with no one else sibling or friend who could or would help and on the phone. she, "laughed" and then said "well I guess your gonna have it ruff for awhile" then hung up on me.

We do not currently talk nor do I talk with the 9 other siblings I have. My mother was and most likely still VERY verbally and physically abusive to us all, my father included though not as physically more verbally in front of us or where we could over hear, and I got it more then the other siblings I was the lucky black sheep. Healthy nurturing, empathy, compassion etc. that most receive I (we) did not and this I came to find out after I was out side the home by my mother who asked me to move out because as she said "I was the reason they were considering getting a divorce, and you have 6 weeks to find a place or you'll find your things piled on the drive way and all the locks changed." but really this was her way, I later came to know, of her saying 'I was ready to live in the real world.' this came right after I graduated H.S.

No contact will not be made from me to them, I feel it would be unsafe in a lot of ways for me.

I have read up on he treads in here on D.N.P. in here and have read trapped in the mirror pdf. ; which makes me believe if she were to be seen by someone she would fit well as such a D.N.P.D. I just thought that this added strange memory of her talking to someone unseen and unheard might be another added issue she was/is having.

I ask questions in order to understand where and why my short comings come from so as to not let the ugly upbringing effect me in negative ways any longer.

 

[sairie]

SMM- thank you for the reply and book recommendations, Is the "The Myth of Sanity" in a pdf format ? I have yet to find the others on Narcissism from in here sadly save for "Trapped in the Mirror", but Ill keep my eyes open. This place has been a good start for me in my search for understanding what and why of my mothers ways. if there is anything else at a later time you find that might be good for me to check out I would love to hear of and know ! Thank you again.
:)

 

[Mahael859]

I'm sorry for what you have to go through, It shouldn't be easy not having the support and encouragement from your family.
I can understand why you are not talking to her, it seems like there is no way of interaction and I relate to that since I had to face similar understanding this month with a relative of mine. I'm happy though that I'm not searching anymore to change his behavior or leading him into another understanding but simply trying my best to accept the things the way they are.
This doesn't mean not searching for answer but find an understanding on how the things got this bad, and this is what I see you are doing as well. I think it's admirable IMO.
You might also want to read Unholy Hungers, which deal with the different archetypes of the vampire from a psychological view point.
It helped me into recognize myself and my relations, how I feed on others and how I let myself being eaten.
Wish you all the best in your search for the truth.

 

[sairie]

Intothefield, Thank you, for understanding it is nice to know their are 'real' others and not just have it be simply something you say to yourself as a sort of calming trick. (I tell myself that their is someone who has it just as bad if not worse than myself.)
Thank you, too, for the book recommendation of Unholy Hungers, who is it by?
And continued success to you ! :)