The Living Force
True, humans reproduce themselves and that's perfectly normal, that's what we're programmed to do. But have you ever wondered about how is it even possible? I mean, just look at the greatness of the processes that make that particular thing possible, that a human being is conceived and born. Just the fact that this is possible and that you, as a human being who has been conceived and was born in this planet, can even think about the stuff that you are thinking and get depressed by it and imagine a future (however horrible), and use language to express what you are thinking, is wonderful, in a sense. Because against all odds, here we are anyways, as creatures capable of many amazing and complex things, good and bad.Personally, I don't really find any of this awe-inspiring, beautiful or miraculous. Life will go on. That's just what it does because it is designed to go on and not do anything else. The classroom, this realm needs to be used. It's kind of like when a woman gets pregnant and give birth and people say that a new baby is a blessing/ miraculous. The truth is that it isn't. Human reproduces just because that's what we're programmed to do. But there's nothing to it.
A computer is a machine, which should be made by something else, something more 'alive', perhaps, a consciousness? There is a mechanical, computer-like aspect of reality, but really, if you think about it, the complexity manifested in this 'mechanical' aspects of life couldn't have come to existence without intelligence or purpose, so there must be purpose (consciousness?) behind it in some way. Maybe this purpose works in ways which from our perspective seem very bad, but from a greater perspective bring growth and expansion to the whole.I wish it wasn't. In a way, yes, everything is a sublime design, made by a perfect computer. It's just that it doesn't bring me any sense of wonder. I just feel like we're Sims, but if we're only Sims, what is there to any of us? I don't really feel any sense of purpose, responsibilities or anything. In my mind, it's just all a giant WTF? Like you know, why are we even waking up? But then the other thing is that if you didn't wake up, well, in the big scheme of thing, it wouldn't change anything either. Obviously, I must admit that the way I feel about this is heavily influenced by situation on Earth. I do feel like we'll see disastrous change on this planet in 2020. So, I'm thinking, in a year from now, I'm likely to wound up dead or live in condition that far worse than they are now, so really why would it matter if I (or any of us, really) died earlier than that? At this point, it doesn't change anything, since there isn't any real future for any of us on this planet anyway. Also, if everything is only a lesson, then one way or another you have a lesson. So, again yeah, it's all kind of whatever.
You may be right about the future of this planet, maybe we're all going to die tomorrow, or next month, who knows? And it is certainly depressing to think about it that way, but then, what would you do today if you knew that your life could end soon? What would you do not because you expect the world to change in some way but because it is what you have at hand right now to improve yourself or your immediate reality or simply because you think it is the right thing to do, no matter how bleak the future looks? What would you do just because is right for you, as human being? Maybe that's all many of us can do, and maybe it is meaningless if we see it as only one of us doing something insignificant, but what if you see many 'insignificant' actions together in the greater scheme of things, could they make a small difference when joint together? And if not in this realm, maybe on a soul level? And if even that's not the case, what do you have to lose if everything is so bad anyways? You could do it just because you are here and you better do something while you are alive.
If you don't really feel any sense of purpose and responsibility, maybe it will help you to start cultivating it. What about being the light you don't seem to see in the world? I mean, if you can judge the whole world and even the universe and life as "nothingness" and a giant void, what are YOU made of? Are you void? Are you made of nothingness? I bet you can feel some 'void' inside you, many people do, but, at the same time, you know you have a consciousness, that you have a mind that exists and can think, that you are a self-conscious being who is aware of its own existence and can even reflect about it. So, are you nothing? That's kind of impossible, isn't it? Then, you are something... and with that fact comes possibility, that is, potential. And the most wonderful thing of it is that what you make of this 'something' that you are is up to you, within certain limitations of course. It is ultimately up to you to form your being which exists in this world in a way that manifests what you think is good and would be meaningful to you.When I think of life, the only thing that spring to my mind is a giant void, made out of nothingness. This terrifies me a little. I've read about dead people being sent/ attracted to part of the afterlife matching their vibes. Often, I can't help wondering if when I die, I'll find myself in one of these grey, cold place because while alive, I couldn't muster any faith. Like am I damning myself?
So, maybe, if all you see is darkness, you could work on being a source of light... if not for the future, just for the sake of it. In the end, you are here anyways, so why not?
Well, these were just some thoughts while reading your post... fwiw...