Examples of black and white thinking

[luc]

Since black and white thinking was and is a problem for me and I guess others as well, I thought maybe it would be interesting to share some examples of situations where this happens.

There's the very important (imho) thread Splitting as a Symptom of Internal Considering in which the workings of black and white thinking are discussed in detail. It really opened my eyes about a lot of mechanisms I find in myself, and others.

Okay, so what I notice most when I catch myself "splitting"/black and white-thinking, is an urge to form a definitive opinion on something quickly, and to come straight out with that opinion. Usually, there is some kind of trigger involved - which then links to feelings, concepts, values etc. that bubble up instantly. The tricky thing is, usually my rational mind comes up with very decent explanations why this quickly formed opinion is right, and everything else is wrong. But of course, these quick opinions are mostly lies to myself with some truth woven into them, which makes them even more dangerous. They lead to an extremely immature form of rigid thinking and cause harm to myself and others.

So here are a few personal examples:

• The forum vs. the rest of the world: I sometimes think that everything that comes from here is good, and the rest of the world bad. This can lead to reactions when I think someone or something is contrary to what I perceive to be the "forum opinion". I then reject something out of hand, without even thinking or seeing the important details of a situation. The trouble is of course that I should see reality for what it is and come to sound conclusions, not stuffing everything in some tiny boxes with a label on them. Even more importantly, I may totally misunderstand some concepts here in the forum, and my predator's mind just uses them to justify stupid behavior.
• In a similar direction: Sometimes I think nothing is important except the work being done here (not that I actually do a lot of it!). There is some truth in it I think, but the Work is done in real life - which means if there is an opportunity to get myself out there, out of my comfort zone, learn new stuff, be a decent person and aware of myself even under pressure, to learn something about myself etc., I'm supposed to do it, and not find excuses and black-and-white-think my way out of it.
• Awake vs. asleep: It's easy to fall into the trap to consider other people "asleep" because of this or that. Yes, Gurdjieff was right that most of humanity is asleep, but so am I, in the sense that I'm not able to Do much that isn't mechanical. And the little I learned probably doesn't amount to much more than twitching a finger in my sleep. And I want to consider someone "asleep" just because he disagrees with me on something?
• Sometimes I judge other people by some grandiose concepts (some moral values I deem important, ideals etc.) and fail to realize that the devil is always in the details. Most people cannot be "understood" by brief encounters or even longer observations, I think. Instead of putting them in neat little boxes ("good", "bad", etc.), I think it's better to acknowledge the variety and subtleties of human behavior, human thinking, different experiences, different "men" (men 1, 2, 3) etc., always assuming that we may get it totally wrong.
• Some political opinions really trigger black-and-white thinking in me. Before I joined the forum, for example, I was held prisoner by the anti-semitism thought-police and rejected everything out of hand that even hinted at something the "anti-semitism-industry" didn't approve. That is gone, of course, but there are other triggers now - for example people who believe the propaganda against Putin. I somehow put a morally charged "bad" label on them quickly. I think it's worth remembering that whatever our pet topics, important as they may be, there are other qualities in a human being - the most important being conscience. If you know that someone is quite in touch with his/her conscience in daily life, but is not educated about most of the propaganda in the media/health/religion etc., it would be really far from the truth to label him/her "bad". And besides, who says I cannot learn something from someone with a different perspective/opinion, even if I'm convinced that I'm right?

Okay, I could probably come up with more examples, but I'll leave it at that for now. If someone has something to comment on or would like to share other examples of black and white thinking, feel free :)

 

[Deleted member 4320]

I would like to comment. As a person who grows up in, a more or less, narcissistic family. I noticed the program in myself, that the world outside is bad. Yes, It's "bad" in a sense that there are many negative influences and people often suffer. But I also interpreted it in the way that it blocked me to adapt to the environment and find my way whereby I will be able to pursue, develop besides the negativity of this world.

It created feeling in me that I am more soulful because I distinguish many important and sublime ideas, knowledge, books ("first world" - Cassiopaea) and keep myself in the reserve to the ("second" - 'real') world, trying not to mix these two worlds, afraid of losing the first at the expense of the second, daily, external.

I broke it in some point and came to the conclusion, that important is to synthesize these two worlds, there is no difference between them, it is only in my head.

The end result was that I started to grow not only intellectually, but also in terms of emotions and behavior. And wicket to deeper understanding became open.

 

[Sol Logos]

What's interesting is war can only happen while there's a high degree of black and white thinking in populations in my view. Whenever there's a feeling of me / us versus them, its probably a good sign there's a black and white thought process informing our opinion/s I'd say. I think in that scenario its a coping mechanism. So rather than ask ourselves, how am I a part of what caused this uncomfortable situation? We.spent little time on that question, which if we did would led us to go through the process of making self empowering decisions that would change it. Instead it feels easier (in the short term) to attribute all the cause on another party. Then all the focus can be shifted on others and on how do I change those other parties, which then ramps up to - if they don't want to change, how can I force them to change? That inevitably primes us for accepting and participating in war for example.

 

[Ðekel]

luc,

I used to think in black and white but now it's more colorful

I think the main thing that changed over "time" is the realizing that everyone is going about their lessons.

Every node on the ocean of being is participating in this grand universe-ity, and each is a unique experience. The word "colorful" doesn't even come close i think, in this regard. There aren't enough crayons to convey the sheer amount of uniqueness. And yet, everything that exists is finally all one thing.
Knowledge gained from experience and insight is extrememly important, and while we should always expect attack, Trust is also very important.

 

[Deleted member 11729]

Thank you Luc for opening this up, as I was yesterday very much imersed in the thinking about balck and white thinking and how, since I am getting more and more involved in the Work, and forum activities, it is becoming difficult for me to participate in black and white thinking, where I have to be either one or the other, or I can just observe the "fight". What was very much worried me is that I fell every time I go to "outer" world, how "small" and misledeed it is, and I feel like I can't say or share this with anyone else in my every day reality on the same level of understanding as here. I didn't really like that attitude of mine, as that constrain me from my enthusiasm to move and create things out of nothing and to motivate people not to give up on good things etc ... It is that feeling when you listen to a good man, but you see that sentence is just a matrix from where you have been just a month ago, and you just listen and listen and listen, and than you don't know what to say ... as you don't want to get involved in this kind of talks with person that don't have at least some kind of similar knowledge and understanding as you do here, as it will just bring more confusion ....

While I am writing this, I feel how that is very emotional for me, and how I have to force my self to go and communicate, behaving like all is like it was before, but I know it is not, but I can't speak openly about that with anyone else that I will meet tooday in my real life....

I also noticed how there is many people who don't know nothing about this materials offer here, but I feel we "live" in the same sphere of subconscious mutual understanding of basic ethics and humanity. And even though we can't communicate like here, we can communicate very well the basic notions of pathological world around us, and to bring awarnes about that, and those are mainly youngsters that are in their 20th or 30th, and it is very strange but it is like we attract each other like magnets, and just to be present togeather, we some how help each other to feel that we are on a good path in this world, and we are not alone ... it is funny though, but they giving me strength to see that it is not just my worries as I am getting old, and they see me as a kind of support to their thinking, how it is right and good to follow morals of humanity and share attitude, no meter how ridiculed they can be by their colleagues who are out there to run for money.


As you said lux, merging this two "worlds" is the way to go, and I am working on that too, and I feel something similar what you explained, and that brings back confidence ....

I broke it in some point and came to the conclusion, that important is to synthesize these two worlds, there is no difference between them, it is only in my head.

The end result was that I started to grow not only intellectually, but also in terms of emotions and behavior. And wicket to deeper understanding became open.

thank you all for giving your experiences ... have to go now to outer world ... wish me "luck" ... ;)

 

[sitting]

luc,

I used to think in black and white but now it's more colorful

I think the main thing that changed over "time" is the realizing that everyone is going about their lessons.

Hi transientP,

Wonderfully expressed. Thank you.

I would add these lessons are precisely those of one's own choosing ... agreed upon prior to this incarnation. Triumphs, tragedies, joy, and sorrows of each life no accident. All set forth as a play to be acted out--experienced--and learned.

Including one's struggle with black and white thinking. You wanted this.

When you see life this way, it eventually leads to greater acquiescence, acceptance, and detachment. But it's vital this come from proper understanding. Dangerous if it's simply ignorance & laziness. There's a huge difference between the two.

I also believe the C's "karmic & simple understandings" reference does not fall a great distance from this essential concept. Although I could be very wrong. But they did say "simple"--not "complex."

From this perspective, the illusory nature of existence is perhaps not a false idea. Made all too clear when one returns to the contemplation zone--where each play is reviewed and digested. Then it's over. Yet I believe the psychic imprint of each life is left in the Akashic records. In that sense, the non-illusory nature of experiences can be argued. And the experiences themselves accumulate to bring forth a higher level of soul being.

Seth once said, while the play itself may be "irrelevant", when in it, we had better participate with the greatest of reverence. I take this to mean active engagement. Not sitting back and simply watching. But always with an awareness of its ultimate purpose.

And I think this is in line with all the efforts made here. FWIW.

 

[Ðekel]

luc,

I used to think in black and white but now it's more colorful

I think the main thing that changed over "time" is the realizing that everyone is going about their lessons.

Hi transientP,

Wonderfully expressed. Thank you.

I would add these lessons are precisely those of one's own choosing ... agreed upon prior to this incarnation. Triumphs, tragedies, joy, and sorrows of each life no accident. All set forth as a play to be acted out--experienced--and learned.

Including one's struggle with black and white thinking. You wanted this.

When you see life this way, it eventually leads to greater acquiescence, acceptance, and detachment. But it's vital this come from proper understanding. Dangerous if it's simply ignorance & laziness. There's a huge difference between the two.

I also believe the C's "karmic & simple understandings" reference does not fall a great distance from this essential concept. Although I could be very wrong. But they did say "simple"--not "complex."

From this perspective, the illusory nature of existence is perhaps not a false idea. Made all too clear when one returns to the contemplation zone--where each play is reviewed and digested. Then it's over. Yet I believe the psychic imprint of each life is left in the Akashic records. In that sense, the non-illusory nature of experiences can be argued. And the experiences themselves accumulate to bring forth a higher level of soul being.

Seth once said, while the play itself may be "irrelevant", when in it, we had better participate with the greatest of reverence. I take this to mean active engagement. Not sitting back and simply watching. But always with an awareness of its ultimate purpose.

And I think this is in line with all the efforts made here. FWIW.

Totally agree about the difference between laziness born from ignorance, and rest born from knowledge.

Yes, karmic and simple understandings. This is what I want to say about this: :)
I think that when "developing" the mind, complex ideas are needed for sifting and sorting. When one understands a concept fully, it becomes simple.
Also, I think that the most simple ideas can sometimes warrant years of explanation and words to be expressed to a mind that is still in the sifting and sorting stage. When that person, or whatever it is, understands the concept fully, you no longer need all those words.

 

[redstar]

Thanks for posting this topic luc, I think it is very important.

Awake vs. asleep: It's easy to fall into the trap to consider other people "asleep" because of this or that. Yes, Gurdjieff was right that most of humanity is asleep, but so am I, in the sense that I'm not able to Do much that isn't mechanical. And the little I learned probably doesn't amount to much more than twitching a finger in my sleep. And I want to consider someone "asleep" just because he disagrees with me on something

Everyone can be an "agent of the Matrix". One person with less knowledge can be used against me, and I can be used against others with much more knowledge. I think the first step is to be aware of our ignorance. As Socrates said: "I know that I know nothing". This leads us to think in the futility of judging others, because, they are not good or bad, they have only more or less knowledge. Even in the case someone had much knowledge and chooses freely to act in detriment of others, that is not important, because as the C's say, there are only lessons, and that kind of circumstance is only a "gift" which provides you the opportunity to learn how to protect yourself (Remember Castaneda's "Pinche Tirano"). So you can think the "external" world is only a scenary which reflects your inner learning needs and gives you what you need in order to progress spiritually.

 

[luc]

Thanks everyone for the responses. It seems that this particular form of "splitting" - forming two worlds in our head, forum and outside world, and then projecting all sorts of things on them - is not uncommon. I found your comment very interesting and on point, lux:

It created feeling in me that I am more soulful because I distinguish many important and sublime ideas, knowledge, books ("first world" - Cassiopaea) and keep myself in the reserve to the ("second" - 'real') world, trying not to mix these two worlds, afraid of losing the first at the expense of the second, daily, external.

I broke it in some point and came to the conclusion, that important is to synthesize these two worlds, there is no difference between them, it is only in my head.

The end result was that I started to grow not only intellectually, but also in terms of emotions and behavior. And wicket to deeper understanding became open.

Yes, I've experienced something similar, and I think at some point these two worlds should merge - which I think is only possible when we apply the knowledge and principles we learn to our lives, to the "outside world". That way we increase our being and can begin to really understand the principles we learned, and develop trust in these principles and our ability to apply them. It means taking responsibility and risks, to leave the harbor and begin the adventure.

What's interesting is war can only happen while there's a high degree of black and white thinking in populations in my view. Whenever there's a feeling of me / us versus them, its probably a good sign there's a black and white thought process informing our opinion/s I'd say. I think in that scenario its a coping mechanism. So rather than ask ourselves, how am I a part of what caused this uncomfortable situation? We.spent little time on that question, which if we did would led us to go through the process of making self empowering decisions that would change it. Instead it feels easier (in the short term) to attribute all the cause on another party. Then all the focus can be shifted on others and on how do I change those other parties, which then ramps up to - if they don't want to change, how can I force them to change? That inevitably primes us for accepting and participating in war for example.

Yes, it seems that we learn this kind of black and white thinking early on - by growing up in narcissistic families, toxic relationships and via media propaganda. I know from my own experience that once certain beliefs are hammered into your head, all you need is a little trigger and you will look at a problem in an extremely immature, simplistic, black-and-white way. I think you can see that almost everywhere in people, no matter what their particular "splitting" looks like - muslim-haters, market-liberals, religious zealots, simple-minded conspiracy theorists, anarchists, patriots, what have you.

Every node on the ocean of being is participating in this grand universe-ity, and each is a unique experience. The word "colorful" doesn't even come close i think, in this regard. There aren't enough crayons to convey the sheer amount of uniqueness. And yet, everything that exists is finally all one thing.

Thanks transientP, beautifully said. It's just hard to see all those colors and shades when we're full of BS! Personally, I think I got better with seeing colors and behave accordingly, but it's still a progress. It's still hard sometimes to overcome a mind that is trained to paint everything in 2 colors only: good/bad, pleasure/pain. Or as Madame de Salzmann put it:

You live exclusively according to "I like" or "I don't like," you have no appreciation except for yourself. You recognize nothing above you-theoretically, logically, perhaps, but actually no. That is why you are demanding and continue to believe that everything is cheap and that you have enough in your pocket to buy everything you like. You recognize nothing above you, either outside yourself or inside. That is why, I repeat, you have no measure and live passively according to your likes and dislikes.

Solarmind,

While I am writing this, I feel how that is very emotional for me, and how I have to force my self to go and communicate, behaving like all is like it was before, but I know it is not, but I can't speak openly about that with anyone else that I will meet tooday in my real life....

Thanks for sharing. I think this is a common process - we kind of redefine our roles, what we think of ourselves, how we perceive other people... The trick is, I think, to give up identification - to stop identifying with our "little I's", our fancies. Eventually we reach the point where we can consciously choose how to behave, how to react, according to some goal. Then we're not unsure anymore about "who we are", we don't feel we lost our identity just to replace it with a new one, but rather we don't need an identity anymore and just do what's right. It's a long way I think, and I only got glimpses of this state so far (if even that) in situations where I didn't have to go against my programs very much, but that's a worthy goal I think.

Seth once said, while the play itself may be "irrelevant", when in it, we had better participate with the greatest of reverence. I take this to mean active engagement. Not sitting back and simply watching. But always with an awareness of its ultimate purpose.

Interesting quote from Seth, and the bolded part is crucial I think and is linked to non-identification. There's a difference between participating in the play, being aware that it's a play with a specific purpose and try the best to play a specific part that you choose, and believing you are this or that character in the play.

Thanks again for the interesting feedback - it's really amazing how everything discussed here is so connected.

 

[Kisito]

I think the black and white thinking is important. Between black and white there are all colors, but with only the color may lack color. The black and white extremes have a field wider possibilities, the spectrum in its entirety. Criticism is essential to move forward. It might be good to all think the same, but this is for the 6D, we are 3D is no man or no woman has the truth. Doubt appears to be an acceleration of knowledge. The problem is that there is a risk of getting lost. But by losing, we try, we begin when trying to find and we no longer need to go to extremes. Surely in this forum some were more widely find than others, and no longer need to go to the black and white ... just my opinion ..

 

[Deleted member 11729]

we don't feel we lost our identity just to replace it with a new one, but rather we don't need an identity anymore and just do what's right.

Dear luc, thank you for commenting on this part, while reading this, something just clicked in my mind, and actually I came to conclusion that "new way" of thinking and approaching people with the more patient and more explicit knowledge and information pool we get our selves into by participating in this quest, is actually a quality that is gained through work that helps us not to rush into things, but to be more aware and to take a look form different point of views, what can open a new perspectives. Tooday was a situation of that kind, and I realize how it is wonderful to understand people through their masks better, and how it protect us form been used and abused in the process of getting ourselves into relation that will be harmful, and on the other side, thanks to that it is much easier to recognize good people.

Thank you one more time :) ... It was quite delightfull experience.

 

[sitting]

Dear luc, thank you for commenting on this part, while reading this, something just clicked in my mind, and actually I came to conclusion that "new way" of thinking and approaching people with the more patient and more explicit knowledge and information pool we get our selves into by participating in this quest, is actually a quality that is gained through work that helps us not to rush into things, but to be more aware and to take a look form different point of views, what can open a new perspectives. Tooday was a situation of that kind, and I realize how it is wonderful to understand people through their masks better, and how it protect us form been used and abused in the process of getting ourselves into relation that will be harmful, and on the other side, thanks to that it is much easier to recognize good people.

Thank you one more time :) ... It was quite delightfull experience.

Hi solamind,

I think you got the wrong person in the above attribution. :)
It would be good if a correction can be made. But I don't know if it's possible after the time lapse.

Edit=Quote

 

[Deleted member 11729]

Hi Sitting,

I can't edit original post any more, but yes it is wrong quoting as actualy that what was left marked as quoted from you, was mine comment to luc's ... sorry, it looks like that I didn't delete extra quoting tags properly, so I am reposting again ... this is very clumsy system for quoting the others, if post is long, it is easy to get confused when inserting quotes, specially on tablets, that are such a non user friendly devices ... :(

we don't feel we lost our identity just to replace it with a new one, but rather we don't need an identity anymore and just do what's right.

Dear luc, thank you for commenting on this part, while reading this, something just clicked in my mind, and actually I came to conclusion that "new way" of thinking and approaching people with the more patient and more explicit knowledge and information pool we get our selves into by participating in this quest, is actually a quality that is gained through work that helps us not to rush into things, but to be more aware and to take a look form different point of views, what can open a new perspectives. Tooday was a situation of that kind, and I realize how it is wonderful to understand people through their masks better, and how it protect us form been used and abused in the process of getting ourselves into relation that will be harmful, and on the other side, thanks to that it is much easier to recognize good people.

Thank you one more time :) ... It was quite delightfull experience.

 

[sitting]

Hi Sitting,

it looks like that I didn't delete extra quoting tags properly, so I am reposting again ...

Thanks. :)

 

[MusicMan]

Hello luc, talking about black and white being a problem, in my opinion the outcome should be balance. Check out my avatar for an example.
In my home I have a cupboard with black ornaments on one side and white ones on the other.
Once again, balance. Colour is somewhere in between.
All there is, is lessons.