Recently I've been thinking about the problem of anticipation in the following way: Think of a tree, just any tree. For example:
Imagine that the tree is your life, with many possible futures, different branches also involving your loved ones, your potential, everything. You are close to the trunk, in one of the bottom branches. The outcome you want is, say, where the orange butterfly on the left is. If you focus ONLY on that, the tree will grow crooked, will lose balance, and either be decrepit or die, or make others suffer from your stupidity. That could be your life. Something like this:
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I don't think anyone wants that, except that often wishful thinking enters the equation, and one assumes that everything will be fine anyway. It never happens.
If instead, you focus on all the roots, the trunk, the branches and leaves at the bottom, to create a harmonious tree on a more solid base, step by step, and regardless of the final outcome, you will be closer to your aims. Each step of the process is important, and connected to the rest of the tree.
If at the end of your life you can look back and say that you created a nice tree, and got closer to the butterfly even if the Universe decided you weren't ready for it yet or whatever, then it's not bad.
It doesn't necessarily mean that you stop hoping, or wishing for something. It is rather that while you need to sometimes make "plans", or have steps clear in your head, discipline and suffer in one way or another, you understand that you never have the whole picture (we are strangers to ourselves, after all), and it is not up to you to determine the outcome or avoid steps, but you can make a concerted effort to appreciate the process, life in general, and work towards a higher goal, always remembering you are in one tiny branch of the tree. What you do in life will help determine the whole shape of the tree, but other factors will be involved in deciding which branch you ultimately "land" on. So, there is no point in anticipating the outcome. All we can do is act to the best of our ability and knowledge. The rest is not up to us decide.
Well, something like that anyway! Life is also "irreducibly complex", so you never know what your path from A to B will be like precisely, or even if in the end, you are meant to go from A to C (say, the birdie in the tree above, which may be even better if you don't limit the possibilities with your own blindness and stubbornness). So, do your best, stick to your values, nourish the tree, and don't expect it to turn out to be a specific shape.
That means that whatever the "wish" is, you need to work on multiple areas at a time, so that the tree is balanced. Becoming a better person, for example, is not just doing a good deed for one single person, for example. It is learning to give and receive in healthier ways, without agendas or ideas of a recompense. It is being patient, understanding, responsible, and much more. It is learning and working hard, so that you have something to offer to others. You cannot just decide to do just one thing and forget the rest of the "tree". If you have faith that the Universe knows what its doing, then it makes sense that if YOU limit the options and constrict the flow, you are not going to get what you want. Because it is precisely that, a "want", an expectation, entitlement. It isn't seeing reality left and right and acting accordingly. It isn't "becoming a conduit for the Universe", but rather arrongantly telling the Universe that you know better. That can never work. OSIT.
