Hitting a wall.

[The_Seeker]

Hello all,

I am currently in the middle of my first read through of some of the teachings of Don Juan.
I have been following your site for around a year now and have only really glanced through the forums. However I came across some stuff I found interesting but could not follow up on. (forgive me for the long intro story) I remember following someone's advice that had commented on one of the sott.net articles, it had something to do with numbers and fractals and fractal patterns in tangible reality as well as 'abstract' mathematical reality. (I say abstract but I believe both are the same.) The story was on 35 or 353535 and possibly 42 as an outcome. I read into it enough to somewhat illuminate myself. I.E. Dimensional shifting upon death and such. But it sparked so many questions in my already questioning mind that I started to travel deeper down the rabbit hole. I saw instant parallels with 'another culture' of pathocrates (hint: As above so below) and became further interested. So I took a look at the esoteric reading list. Gurdjeff has been hard to come by so Castaneda was my first step.

I can see that his teachings hold pearls of wisdom about the conscious mind vs. the subconscious mind vs. 'will' (as he described it). I believe in will, have personally seen and experienced things to validate it in mind. But I see the text as shrouded in superfluousness (hey I spell checked it... it is a word lol).

I have so far read

Bahagivad gita
Bahagivad prana (only the first 2 cantos)
Some Castenada
The Yage letters (burrows and Ginsburg)(psychedelic journey for a rain forest hallucinogen)
Prince of India (1865 copyright) (you would be surprised what is in this book, corrected many historical inaccuracies)
Writings on Confucianism
Writings on the Tao
A little on Numerology

What I have viewed

All of "Thats Impossible"
All of "Ancient Aliens"
Most of "Ufo Hunters"

Many of the online U-Tube lectures in the subject of particle physics and quantum physics and quantum mechanics from;
Prof.V.Balakrishnan
Leonard Susskind
(in no way an expert, just a hobbyist who has always wanted to understand the way things work)

I have constantly throughout my life questioned reality and its purpose, as well as my own purpose. I will share a portion of my personal opinion hoping to gain insight from those that may have a more fluid or dynamic understanding of personal and universal reality. It calls to me that there is a pattern governing all universal laws and that there are in fact, Universal laws. A constant of sorts. What I cannot wrap my mind around is whether there is a prime universe where everything is a possible shadow of, or if there is just a multiverse that is constantly growing (and possibly super sentient.) I struggle with whether or not we are part of a quantum soul journey and we take with us the essence of our existence to the next so-to-say womb, or we are on a test run and have to be recognized by a higher power (anything) to continue on as a sentient being.

Don Juan's teacher feared death... or better yet he feared loosing what he has gained. He states that death is the final battle to overcome, and I could take that in more than one way I suppose. Unlocking your past live's consciousnesses or starting fresh with pre set
attributes that are earned from our previous lives or life. If this is the case, there are many religions that claim we can sidestep the cycle (of 35) through complete indifference or detachment. I don't resonate with this. I also don't resonate with throwing a vale of mystery around your existence to subvert possible disruption in our will or our ability to see. I have a brief knowledge of string and membrane theory, and I can see that other people having an attachment to us or opinion on us could somewhat shape our existence or vibration without tangible consent. But I do not think that a cut off of those ties is the answer is it? I would think that global conciseness of congruent will is the highest order of power, IE our current shields of bipartisanship, religion, corporate indoctrination, and government systems. These all have streamlined motives that come from pyramidal heads. Those entities (lets call them) have masses of people believing in some purported aspect of 'reality' that may only be real because it is believed by so many to be real. I cannot help but recognize that humans under duress or perfect balance tend to work very well together. Brainstorm in ways that use group mind power vs individual mind power. Is there a multi-human 'will' that can be tapped into? If so wouldn't the teaching of Don Juan be like an existential disinformation pamphlet? Is this to distract the average reader, or is this a piece of cosmic disinformation?? Undecided

I am so frustrated because I feel as though time is stalking me, and my head is constantly checking over my shoulder (the left one lol). I think I may have entered this whole thing haphazardly and am facing some consequences for this now. Lets say that I have an elevated sense of fear/awareness from time to time and some strange sensations that I haven't felt since I was a child come creeping. (had horrible dreams as a kid and possible blocked experiences) I don't know the first thing against guarding myself outside of mainstream new age hoo-haa. Not sure what is disinformation and what is not. I think I need help with this, because I do not want a rift to open so far that I invite the creature on my left into my life.

I want truth at almost any cost, so this is a hand reaching out to my peers, help?



I was going to delete this but I thought I would leave it, (To mod (feel free to remove it is you see fit)

This was a little brainstorming list i typed in to help me with my post, it may give you a better idea of the thoughts floating around in my dome before and during the course of the posts inception.

Gurdjieff
Illuminati
Mars and Venus
Possible higher earth
The dark universe situation
tesseracts
fractals
patterns
NWO
Sorcerer


-Peace and love-
The_Seeker


PS.

-if you feel this post is misplaced, please help me place it in the correct forum (I had originally posted it under the books section and was looking for a little feedback, didn't get any so I figured I would try and post it here. Guess we will see)

 

[RyanX]

Hi The_Seeker,

I'm just curious if you've read The Wave yet? It seems like a lot of the questions you seek are raised in Laura's Wave Series.

You might also want to find a copy of P.D. Ouspensky's In Search of the Miraculous. That's a priceless book when it comes to explaining Gurdjieff and his ideas. It might also help put some of your Castanenda reading into perspective.

 

[The_Seeker]

glad to hear a response :)

I would have already begun reading works about Gurdjeff's writing however I remember reading somewhere that he gave specific instructions not to do that or to read his works out of order. I feel I need to read them in order first. However I have not read the wave, and was just reading through the 'unexplained' forums and saw a lot about the book you are referring too. I will have to snag a copy, I have learned quite a bit just reading over the last few hours, and realize that I may actually be somewhat attuned to 4D STS beings. Would like to unlock a bit of the blocked out childhood stuff, have a strong feeling I need to do this, like it is holding me back from an important step in my 'journey.' I have however always been terribly afraid of such things because my parents didn't believe or understand me during this time. I am just starting to gain confidence and 'power' over these type of situations, but they still steal my breath a bit and cause my senses to go a bit haywire.

Wonder if you (or anyone) has any good recommendations for guarding techniques? I have a theory though,.. what if we can overcome these types of situations with nothing but raw personal 'will' power. This is what I have been trying to do. I want to be able to not have to rely upon talismans or personal objects of protection. Can we not store this will within ourselves and release it when the time is necessary?

Another question, what about good and bad? Are they real? Struggling with this question as well. Either way I will pick up the book. Link me for a place to pick one up if you know of one, otherwise I will pick one up. BTW, with this whole personal journey stuff, is anyone else struggling with it? Every time I try and get on the 'path' I cannot help but be derailed by myself as much as other outside influences. I feel as I let my 'shields' down so to speak that I can stay on task a bit, but I have a constant feeling of someone over my shoulder... literally. Fear of the unknown as well as whether or not the possible entities intentions are good or bad overcome me when I even broach the subject alone. (as in throughout a lot of me writing this) Any idea's?

The_Seeker

 

[StrangeCaptain]

Hello The-Seeker,

I think most of us who find a home on this forum find the "spiritual path" both incredibly simple and incredibly complicated. I say simple in that, according to our current approach, this path involves a detoxification of the mind, emotions, and body. For the body, alot of research has been done by Laura, Psyche, and other members here, and much of it has been posted on this forum. For the emotions, many of us use the EE meditation methods coupled with the challenges we meet in our daily lives. For the mind, detoxification can be exposing ourselves to the highest quality sources of information possible during the changes that occur as one begins to try to live life a little more consciously. The complex part is that through experiment we find that the "recipe" for each person is a little different, and although invaluable information about this "recipe" comes from the network, your own profound interaction with the process is necessary. Complexity also enters the picture in that a path of objectivity will bring one to a decision that must be renewed regularly to recognize black and white thinking and its subjective skewing of our perceptions. Luckily we don't have to do it in one day!

Although "The Wave" is certainly a huge priority in reading material, maybe the biggest priority, especially with respect to understanding our vocabulary, our aim, and our approach to knowledge-seeking in this forum, I could also recommend "Lost Christianity" by Jacob Needleman because it describes rather poignantly but not over-dramatically the internal struggle between what we could be and what we are.

Finally, I would like to add that when you origianlly made an introduction post there would have been a reply with a suggested reading list. "The Wave" is probably THE place to start, but that list has a lot of other resources on it that we have found indispensable in beginning to form an increasingly objective picture of what is happening on our planet.

Best wishes in your search.

 

[KTC]

Hello Seeker,

The EE breathing has definitely helped with my personal journey http://eiriu-eolas.org/url] as far as staying on track and definitely with abating fear.

 

[Mr. Premise]

Hello The Seeker,

In The Wave there is an exchange with the C's where they say you don't have to learn 4th grade lessons in order to graduate from the third grade to the fourth. And that what we need to
learn at this level are simple karmic lessons.

It seems from the reading you are doing that you are trying to learn 4th density concepts before mastering 3rd.

 

[theos]

Hello Seeker,

You may want to check out the online version of The Wave. http://cassiopaea.org/cass/waveindex.htm

I have read both the online and the book versions of the Wave. Yes, the book version is more organized and has some extra material. However, if your fund is very limited, I would recommend to go with the online version. Hkoehli posted a recommended list for those with limited fund here
http://www.cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?topic=4718.msg31664#msg31664

We put the Wave in book form for people who have trouble reading online or who wish to have a copy in the event they no longer have internet connection. The plan is to include much of the Adventure Series as the continuation of the Wave (excluding the material that is already in the early sections of the Wave) and adding a final volume that wraps everything up.

 

[The_Seeker]

Hello The Seeker,

In The Wave there is an exchange with the C's where they say you don't have to learn 4th grade lessons in order to graduate from the third grade to the fourth. And that what we need to
learn at this level are simple karmic lessons.

It seems from the reading you are doing that you are trying to learn 4th density concepts before mastering 3rd.

All of this is great info :D thank you.

However I cannot help but become drawn to other densities I suppose. This is the most interesting thing I have ever done, and I am in the middle of a transition. I have left one of my jobs and am attempting to begin living as a 'warrior' well before attempting to live as anything beyond that. I guess what I'm saying is I am trying to streamline my life to resonate with my .....heart I guess..

I feel like there are many hurdles ahead but I have another question. (and sorry for being so blunt, know this is the esoteric forum) I cannot help but wonder about 2012 and the events leading up to it. A lot of my personal research shows a mass cover up to strip us of more civil liberties, dare I say even conspiracy to drop Ja.pan into the ocean because of a bloodline vs. bloodline dispute. Where as other area's of research show a different resonance is going to occur and we are going to enter into a shift of consciousness. And of course there is the regular news network spin on things as well as the Hopi prediction that humanity will be brought near extinction by a quaking earth for its fourth awakening.

...I mean maybe I am jumping right to this 4h density stuff because I know that there is a good likely hood I will pass during all of these solar maximum events. I am one of those that is partially convinced that there is a good likely-hood that earthquakes will rip right through where i am currently living. USA Spfd Mo. (new madrid) Not to mention the nuclear fallout potential here is insane.

I guess what I'm saying is I am working towards a major change in personal consciousness, but I see death stalking me. I am not afraid of death, however I know there is a good chance that I will perish before this journey(interpersonal) is complete and I fear that I will not transition with enough knowledge because I started a little late. Sorry for just voicing my little no win scenario, but it is what is prevailing in my day to day thought.

But.. enough with all that negativity :)
On a more positive note, one of my night students just so happens to have been meditating for over 10 years and is willing to help me with meditation and understanding basic shielding (white,gold,pink ect..) as well as being a good listener. I know i am on the right path, I just get a bit impatient. Once again, thank you for the advice and for sharing your time.

Peace and Love
The_Seeker

 

[The_Seeker]

Just wanted to leave a follow up.

Just finished part 1....

THANK YOU LAURA :)
I really appreciate what you are doing, and I have my answer for the moment. That is, become healthy, and experience the change. Once again, had no idea the actual depth of this whole site, another vale is revealed. Thank you.

really resonated with me..


Goodnight all
peace and love
The_Seeker

 

[Nienna]

The_Seeker,

Reading the Wave will help answer a lot of your questions. A lot of what you are reading is disinfo. You can purchase all seven of the Wave series here along with Laura's other books.

The best way to prepare for what is coming is to gain knowledge of what is really happening on this planet. So reading Political Ponerology would be another good book to read to gain knowledge about psychopaths and how they infiltrate positions of power, such as the government.

And as for mediation, I am wondering why you have not tried the Eiriu Eolas (EE) program. It has a very powerful meditation at the end with Laura reciting the Prayer of the Soul. If you go through the EE thread here on the forum, you will read of the many beneficial results people here have had, and continue to have.