How does one recover valuable resources from the shadow and use them for growth?

[webglider]

Yesterday after watching the video Love, Reality and The Time of Transition
http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,25560.msg303205/boardseen.html#new

I wrote this: (The quotes are from the video)

webglider

"Bringing shadow material into consciousness drains its dark power and can even recover valuable resources from it. The greatest power, however, is from having accepted your shadow parts and integrated them as components of yourself."

(Don't have a clue about how to go about this. Glad to be conscious of the need for this effort. same point was made in another thread yesterday as well)

"Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual's conscious life, the blacker and denser it is...thwarting our most well meant intentions. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious." Carl Jung

What does conscious darkness look like?

The same points made in the other thread, Improv Everywhere http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,25474.0.html
are from anart:

One must see the world as it is - to love the beautiful face of god and the wretched face of god. One can't just focus on the positive, that is shutting out half of creation.

Getting caught up in what 'people of this planet' do is insanity because the vast majority of people on this planet are objectively insane. You can only control what you do, what you learn, how you align your life and mind. In that there is power.


it's vitally important to realize that in our feelings lie our strength - so we mustn't turn away from them or fear them, we must develop them and learn to harness them to our benefit in all aspects of life. This includes both the positive and the negative.

The concept of "objective insanity" rings true for me because I have experienced it in myself. In this first attempt to begin working with the shadow as something that is to be "integrated into oneself" as a source of strength I am clueless. It is a whole new concept for me. I don't even know where to begin.

I have identified one of the major shadow elements in myself, that of righteous indignation, for which I can see no possible value except that it makes me conscious of the same manifestation in others. I can't seem to control it, it just seems to run its course.

I start with this shadow because of what I saw in the Gadafi murder video. I imagine that many of the people who committed that atrocity felt righteous indignation. I imagine that when most of them are not under its influence that they are "good" people in the ordinary sense of the word. The idea that I have that potential within myself as an unevolved objectively insane being horrifies me.

Righteous indignation, for me, takes the form of having no external consideration at all because it makes me feel that I am "right".

I have been experimenting with different postures and movements, especially when I walk, to see if there is a connection between movement and emotional states. I have some observations on that that I will explore in another post. Here, though, I think that the motivation for my work is to find a way to manage this particular emotional state,(and others) rather than to extinguish it. How can I integrate it in such a way as it could work for me and make me more cognizant of reality and more capable of conscious choice.

Anart's observation that most of humanity is "objectively insane" resonates with me. I don't want to spread any more hurt, disinformation, lies, unconsiously and add anymore darkness to that which already is. I want to wake up.

But as I say, I don't really know how to begin or even imagine such a state as it's totally our of my experience.

 

[beetlemaniac]

Maybe another explanation by Jung of the term "shadow" may be useful?

What our age thinks of as the "shadow" an inferior part o the psyche contains more than something merely negative. The very fact that through self-knowledge, i.e., by exploring our own souls, we come upon the instincts and their world of imagery should throw some light on the powers slumbering in the psyche, of which we are seldom aware so long as all goes well. They are potentialities of the greatest dynamism, and it depends entirely on the preparedness and attitude of the conscious mind whether the irruption of these forces and the images and ideas associated with them will tend towards construction or catastrophe. [...]

The release of unconscious shadow material is, I think, is not cognizable by our intellects. As we progress with our efforts in self-observation and self-remembering, G said that we throw a light on psychic processes that were hitherto working in darkness. This light tends to change the process much like some chemical processes where presence of light creates a different reaction altogether. The result of this is a gradual self-change. This self-change is, I think, where buffers are undone and energy that was blocked by these buffers gets freed. This energy could equated to the unconscious shadow material previously repressed or blocked. This presumably results in more energy for us to work with, a larger and more encompassing Being.

So one answer could be to continue self observation and remembering, and adjust our approach to things in the world from this new information, like a feedback loop that gets tighter and tighter, as Laura mentions in one of the Wave chapters. I guess it's a process that never ends...

The book by David M. Brahinsky, Gurdjieff and Sexuality was immensely helpful in understanding buffers and other G concepts, for me. Input of new knowledge is always good, I think.

Edited for clarity

 

[obyvatel]

The concept of "objective insanity" rings true for me because I have experienced it in myself. In this first attempt to begin working with the shadow as something that is to be "integrated into oneself" as a source of strength I am clueless. It is a whole new concept for me. I don't even know where to begin.

To work with the shadow one must first recognize it. You mentioned that you have experienced the state of objective insanity. In 4th Way terminology, buffers are said to be in place which keeps us from seeing all the inner contradictions. If buffers are temporarily suspended, we get a glimpse of our inner contradictions - or insanity. But we soon forget all about it and go on with life till the next shock comes around to temporarily suspend the buffers. I think beetlemaniac said it well here

So one answer could be to continue self observation and remembering, and adjust our approach to things in the world from this new information, like a feedback loop that gets tighter and tighter, as Laura mentions in one of the Wave chapters. I guess it's a process that never ends...

Becoming more specific, there will be parts of ourselves which we do not like to acknowledge. Some may avoid feeling vulnerable and dependent at all costs. In such a case it could be possible that they would seriously look down upon others who express these qualities. In this case, the person would have an independent, strong personality with a weak and vulnerable shadow which gets projected on and denounced in others. The way to work with this would be to find the vulnerable parts within the self, find out the reasons why it was considered bad to acknowledge this aspect (usually related to childhood events) and accept that it may be ok to feel like that at times. It also has a corollary effect of a less rigid and more compassionate outlook towards others who may express these characteristics.

Looking at the opposite end, doormat type dependent personalities often have a shadow aspect which seeks power and domination over others. In general, more a particular quality is suppressed by the ego, the more dark and strong it gets. Acknowledging the quality in the self and giving it a proper channel to express itself appropriately is one way of bringing the shadow to light. Thus one can integrate the isolated "little i's" into a more unified "I".

I have identified one of the major shadow elements in myself, that of righteous indignation, for which I can see no possible value except that it makes me conscious of the same manifestation in others. I can't seem to control it, it just seems to run its course.

I start with this shadow because of what I saw in the Gadafi murder video. I imagine that many of the people who committed that atrocity felt righteous indignation. I imagine that when most of them are not under its influence that they are "good" people in the ordinary sense of the word. The idea that I have that potential within myself as an unevolved objectively insane being horrifies me.

Righteous indignation is not necessarily a shadow element. The context of the situation that evokes the feeling of indignation is important. If someone is horrified and feels indignant at man's cruelty to man - it is likely a normal reaction. People torturing and killing another person may feel indignant but they are displaying cruelty and sub-human behavior. Mob psychology by the way is a complex subject - it has been discussed very briefly here . A neurological basis for mob "insanity" is hypothesized to be mirror neurons and is discussed in Daniel Goleman's Social Intelligence ( link ).

[quote author=webglider]
Righteous indignation, for me, takes the form of having no external consideration at all because it makes me feel that I am "right".
[/quote]

"I am right" without consideration for others is self-importance at play. Shadow qualities are more specific and could be discerned (if present in a particular situation) from a close examination of what aroused that feeling of indignation. OSIT

 

[webglider]

Thank you bettlemania, and Obyvatel. I started composing a response yesterday but didn't post it. I read everything you wrote several times, and went to the sections you recommended provided by the links and read the material. There is so much information, that the only way I could have responded would have been in a glib way, pretending that I had understood more than I possibly can at this point. It would have been dishonest to do so, and I don't want to do that anymore.

I think that I am struggling with this, the very first step:

Obyvatel writes:

In 4th Way terminology, buffers are said to be in place which keeps us from seeing all the inner contradictions. If buffers are temporarily suspended, we get a glimpse of our inner contradictions - or insanity. But we soon forget all about it and go on with life till the next shock comes around to temporarily suspend the buffers.

I am absolutely terrified of removing the buffers. Of what, I don't know. This terror is also what is preventing from doing the breathing exercises because I am afraid of what what will come up.

Why is it that I am able to see the madness outside and take action to do something about it, and yet find it so difficult to do the same with my own inner world?

bettlemaniac writes:

The release of conscious shadow material is not cognizable by our intellect

Oh great. The intellect is what I hide behind - it's my buffer. I think that this journey that I need to take is more primal. I used to have a recurring dream that I was deep within a cave which had an opening that I thought I needed to go through. But when I began I was so terrified that I always woke myself up.

Doing this work seems like that - going into the darkness and the unknown to find - what? My intellect wants to take control and do it for me, to protect me from whatever is in there. But I feel that if I want to find the light, I have to move through the darkness first. I have to be brave, and I'm not sure that I'm brave enough.

 

[anart]

I am absolutely terrified of removing the buffers. Of what, I don't know. This terror is also what is preventing from doing the breathing exercises because I am afraid of what what will come up.

...

Doing this work seems like that - going into the darkness and the unknown to find - what? My intellect wants to take control and do it for me, to protect me from whatever is in there. But I feel that if I want to find the light, I have to move through the darkness first. I have to be brave, and I'm not sure that I'm brave enough.

Perhaps it would be worthwhile to really sit for a while with the fact that whatever will come up are things that you have already survived. You're still here. You survived. Anything that will come up from your 'darkest places', are things that you've already been brave enough to survive. All you will be doing by working through them is releasing demons that long ago lost their real power. Never underestimate the bravery and power required to get as far as you have - survival itself is defined by bravery.

 

[Palinurus]

Hi webglider,

Maybe it would be useful to realise that these shadowy parts of us don't have to be something sinister per se. It's more like parts of us that have remained in the shadows in stead of been illuminated fully by intellect, awareness or consciousness. When the aim is to 'Know Thyself' via self observation and self remembering, the real thing is to always remain open unto anything that might reveal itself in the course of these activities and to not self censor beforehand any part you might find within you. Not knowing oneself implies that there will be parts of your personality and of your core being that you are not really acquainted with to the full and therefore might surprise you to find them within you. To remain open implies you get these 'surprises' every now and then which cannot be helped nor prevented - nor should they be. Consider it to be an endeavour of playful discovery rather than something to be feared like Anart pointed out to you.

Hope this helps a bit.

 

[Laura]

Another way to look at it is the discussion on negative emotions in Mouravieff's "Gnosis".

There's a thread on "Depression as a Stepping Stone" which deals with the issue:

http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,2832.0

And this one is helpful:
http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,6989.0

and this one:
http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,22.0

 

[Alana]

Obyvatel writes:

In 4th Way terminology, buffers are said to be in place which keeps us from seeing all the inner contradictions. If buffers are temporarily suspended, we get a glimpse of our inner contradictions - or insanity. But we soon forget all about it and go on with life till the next shock comes around to temporarily suspend the buffers.

I am absolutely terrified of removing the buffers. Of what, I don't know. This terror is also what is preventing from doing the breathing exercises because I am afraid of what what will come up.

It looks that you are allowing your fear to deprive you of the very things that will help you deal with this fear in the first place, webglider. One way that the EE program is so great is in that it doesn't bring up more than we can take each time. It offers a gentle emotional cleansing and healing at the same time. If you feel you might feel too overwhelmed, then try doing the pipe-breathing and the POTS daily for a few months, and then add the Beatha part slowly in your practice and observe yourself and your emotions and take it from there. The vagus nerve stimulating exercises will help you feel safe, and a feeling of safety will allow you to explore the contents of the shadow more bravely. And like anart says, what lies there is all stuff that you've already lived through. In my case I found that my fear of fear itself was greater than anything else I came to realize about myself. Fwiw...

 

[Laura]

I think when a person has a fear of something, they should take it easy. webglider will get just as many benefits doing the pipe breathing and the meditation at night; no need to do the bio-energetic breathing.

 

[go2]

Why is it that I am able to see the madness outside and take action to do something about it, and yet find it so difficult to do the same with my own inner world?

It was a deep shock this year, to see I have very little compassion for those less fortunate than myself; yet I raged for years at the injustice and lack of compassion in the world. I know it is my shadow Work to suffer what I am. It is the fire of suffering and sacrifice of my feel good projections that allow me to experience compassion for us all---our fear, our cowardice, our ignorance, our sloth, our weakness, our greed, our lies, our violence—as the poet said, “Nothing human is alien to me.”

Webglider, it is painful to see our psyche is a reflection of the world and the world is a reflection of our psyche. We can hold this knowledge until we are transformed by understanding we dream we can save the world while we harm our children and evade responsibility for our own lives. We are caricatures created by education and morality.

Much shadow material is the ancient heritage of the instinctive-motor center, focused on sex, food, and violence. These instincts are rejected in polite society and we become disembodied caricatures of a Real Man or a Real Women. When we acknowledge and accept responsibility for our repressed and rejected instincts, feelings, and thinking powers we are filled with life. We gain depth and being when we suffer what we are and give it meaning.

I find the Shadow Work is accelerated by reading myth and poetry as a method of by passing the intellectual gate. The Odyssey, Women Who Run With Wolves, and Beelzebub's Tales are examples of readings which can penetrate the unconscious when we make an effort to be receptive. I find the shadow is full of courage and power, but it is silent. Perhaps, we can do when we eat our shadow.

 

[Palinurus]

Hi go2,

I wanted to thank you for your input. It really invigorated me and I got a very warm feeling of complete understanding while reading what you were saying. It deeply resonated within me and I got full recognition from it. Many thanks!

 

[beetlemaniac]

I find the Shadow Work is accelerated by reading myth and poetry as a method of by passing the intellectual gate. The Odyssey, Women Who Run With Wolves, and Beelzebub's Tales are examples of readings which can penetrate the unconscious when we make an effort to be receptive. I find the shadow is full of courage and power, but it is silent. Perhaps, we can do when we eat our shadow.

I wholeheartedly concur. Myth and stories have such power to them, something my intellectual center has trouble grasping. "Bypassing the intellectual gate" succinctly explains how they have their effect on us. I am beginning to see how the intellect is too highly esteemed in many situations. I'm currently reading Women Who Run With the Wolves, really beautiful stuff.

 

[webglider]

I am going to the suggested links and reading the materials, and I am reading the responses, and am grateful for them, and incorporating them into my work on myself. I probably will not respond for awhile, at least not on this thread. I find that when I talk, I dissipate all the energy that I've accumulated. I go off in different directions, and the work becomes the conversation and what people think of me.

Right now, I feel such a sense of urgency, that I can't afford to let that happen.

When I am really serious about something, I work really hard. There is some preparation that I make internally first, some negotiation within some deep part of me, that will allow me to do I will do what I resolve to do. I can do this with all sorts of projects, but I have never completely allowed myself to do this when I have worked on myself before.

Although I have read The First Initiation many times, I never designed a course of study around it.

I am doing that now. My aim is "...to recognize a part in myself which is above the other parts, and my attitude toward this part should bear witness to the respect that I have for it. In this way I shall respect myself.

One thing about myself I would like to share with you - and thank you for.

There has been a pattern always in my life of separation and return. In the separation phase, I long for the return. In the return phase, there is deep disillusion concerning the return, and I always leave again.

This is not the case here. I do not need to take your time as I did before. I need to be part of this effort, to be worthy of it to have something worthwhile to contribute.

Right now it is difficult to do the breathing exercise because a combination of diet and pollen is making it almost impossible to breathe through my nose. Yesterday, I stopped eating those foods that give rise to these reactions, and, I think pretty soon the pollen will go away, and I will be able to start the exercises.

I never bought the the CD; I downloaded it. But I will buy it now.


I have a lot to do. This first week is a test for me to see if I do what I say. It is a way to work with the body until the breath is stable.

First Week

The first Initiation by Mme Jeanne de Salzmann.

Today we have nothing but the illusion of what we are. We think too highly of ourselves. We do not respect ourselves. In order to respect myself, I have to recognize a part in myself which is above the other parts, and my attitude toward this part should bear witness to the respect that I have for it. In this way I shall respect myself. And my relations with others will be governed by the same respect.

Under which circumstances does the higher self recede and the lower self emerge? Some thoughts for self-observation concerning this issue.

1. Pay attention to posture. Experiment to determine if any specific posture, when consciously taken,
evokes a specific emotion. Do this repeatedly to ascertain the accuracy of the observation.
2. In life, observe the posture taken with the advent of negative emotions. Will changing posture
change the emotion. If so, how?
3. Are there thoughts that are connected to specific postures? If so, identify them
4. Record observations every dayl
5. Post results on thread.

 

[webglider]

3. Are there thoughts that are connected to specific postures? If so, identify them

My first observation happened tonight. I was riding on the train and I started writing in my journal about an earlier incident where I had received a phone call and expressed that I had no time to talk , and then ended up talking to the person for a long time anyway. I did not have a chance to write until later and when I did, I wrote in the journal that this was an example of where I was not respecting myself. After I wrote that, I wrote the following:

"Feeling some anger as I write this although did not feel so at the time. Familiar sensations in body that connect to episodes of resentment. Can not isolate from where they arise in the body. Sense of violation, but I did this to myself. Am holding breath - am in frozen state. Muscles are tight. Mostly holding breath, when I do breathe, the breath is shallow. What is this about? Can feel resentful group of little "i" beginning to coalesce. Need to change this before it takes me over. Heels lift off floor, not effective. Neck tense - move it to look over each shoulder. Not effective. Holding breath. Boundary issues. Eyes are filling with tears. Need to stop now - too much.

I observed that the negative emotion of violation arose from a thought. not a posture. The word violation carries with it a sexual charge which is when I had to stop. I'm crying right now, and I have to stop.

 

[truth seeker]

3. Are there thoughts that are connected to specific postures? If so, identify them

My first observation happened tonight. I was riding on the train and I started writing in my journal about an earlier incident where I had received a phone call and expressed that I had no time to talk , and then ended up talking to the person for a long time anyway. I did not have a chance to write until later and when I did, I wrote in the journal that this was an example of where I was not respecting myself. After I wrote that, I wrote the following:

"Feeling some anger as I write this although did not feel so at the time. Familiar sensations in body that connect to episodes of resentment. Can not isolate from where they arise in the body. Sense of violation, but I did this to myself. Am holding breath - am in frozen state. Muscles are tight. Mostly holding breath, when I do breathe, the breath is shallow. What is this about? Can feel resentful group of little "i" beginning to coalesce. Need to change this before it takes me over. Heels lift off floor, not effective. Neck tense - move it to look over each shoulder. Not effective. Holding breath. Boundary issues. Eyes are filling with tears. Need to stop now - too much.

I observed that the negative emotion of violation arose from a thought. not a posture. The word violation carries with it a sexual charge which is when I had to stop. I'm crying right now, and I have to stop.

Why do you need to stop? Are you in a place where it's not safe or appropriate to cry? If not, allow yourself to process this. Your body is try to cleanse these feelings and old wounds so if you can, allow it. There's nothing at all wrong with crying - it's healthy and you shouldn't feel ashamed. If you can, also do ee. It will bring you to a calm, safe space that can also help you to have access to those feelings of violation if you choose. Take care with yourself and let us know how it goes.