I only want to be myself

[SlavaOn]

Hello.

I am reading "Amazing Grace"... I have read parts of it earlier, so it feels as I already know the person that wrote it. An amazing person... Thank you, Laura.

I wrote the poem below in 1998. It is one of the earliest of my poems. I thought that it was about myself. I realize now that it is about the inner child...

***

I only want to be myself
I am tired of being just a drone
To be a part of a dreadful Matrix
Pretending to be clever and strong

I only want to be myself
To laugh and cry as a child
Who ate the hottest, bad-ass sauce
And then pretends that it’s mild

I only want to be myself
To live the life to its fullest
To wag my tail as a happy dog
And think my bitch is the coolest

I only want to be myself
Make every day a surprise
And see your beautiful shining,
Sparkling, loveable eyes

I only want to be myself
And raise my voice so strong
When it tolls the bell in Moscow
The echo is heard in Washington

I only want to be myself
And here is the hardest part
The last step in this transformation
Is not for the faint of heart

I only want to be myself
I am ready to pay full price
If you would want me to die for it
I never think twice…

I only want to be myself
This flesh is my disguise -
When time will come,
like butterfly,
I finally
will rise!