Karmic and Simple Understandings.

SlipNet

Jedi Master
As I wrote elsewhere on the forum earlier, I've been among many members who have had back to school dreams lately. I figure that this is a call to arms from the DCM to all of us to ramp up the work and to prepare for a whole new world of experiences and lessons. This excites me tremendously though I have a tendency to see the glass as half empty rather than half full. My dream involved me anxiously trying to locate my rucksack, which I singularly failed to do. I hate losing things, it's a trait of mine, keeping hold of things and knowing where everything is, well, it's a good habit but can get annoying too. Anyway, the rucksack magically appeared in the dream the moment I gave up the search and stopped worrying about it (a metaphor for my obsessing over my memories perhaps), which pleased me no end.

I think the message was to relax the flow and not overdo things, you'll be surprised how much you have going for you if you check things out objectively. I consider my discoveries on here and Sott as the best achievements in life, though I could contribute more often I suppose, but I'm a bit of a slow learner. It staggers me to think about how much I've learned since about 1998, when my reading took a step up in interest level. Living with mental illness can be tough, but once I take the focus away from the self and look outwards at the world I tend to improve, which is strange, because much of what I learn of is depressing. I guess it's the notion of doing the right thing which energises me, regardless of the outcome.

Two things are focussing my mind these days; preparing for responding to increasing global turmoil, and also cultivating my karmic and simple understandings. Now, I'm glad the latter concept was found in my reading on here, 'cos if things are more simple they are also universal, and in an increasingly fragmented world this concept gives me hope for the future. But at the moment I'm merely at the point where I'm jotting down what I consider to be these fabled understandings, or at least the ones that I've found to be pertinent to me in relation to my general life plan.

Some context here; I've been living with schizophrenia since 2004, but it doesn't cause me as much trouble as it did in the past. Things genuinely are improving, incrementally. I've learned the hard way to take things slowly to ensure that I absorb information properly. There is a history of mental illness in my family tree sadly, many have suffered. Living with this condition brings its own idiosyncrasies and unique challenges, but they are not insurmountable, and it really helps if you learn (i) to love yourself in a healthy way, and (ii) to accept that not everything in one's life can be changed for the better in an instant. These two points meet the criteria for karmic and simple understandings in my book, and it has been very surprising to make deeper self-discoveries using the work on here as a springboard. Years before I'd heard of Jordan Peterson, I was already working on a self authoring project, complete with epochs and detailed notes from each period in time. If you're genuinely interested in understanding yourself it's do-able, the logjam in the mind just needs to be loosened up first. I used to be a very ignorant person in so many ways, and it's ignorance of self that stood out most of all. For years I flew through life by the seat of my pants, boozing and toking along the way, with nary a glance of introspection.

Perhaps my schizophrenia was a karmic response to my crazy lifestyle in my 20's? Quite possible. Anyway, I'm just taking stock of things here, and it helps to have a written record of my thoughts. I guess as a closing question to the forum here I'm kinda wondering what karmic and simple understandings have you all discovered in your time doing the work on the self?
 

nicklebleu

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
Thanks, SlipNet, for your account. You have had your fair share in struggles, but seem to have dealt with it quite well - Kudos!

The question is a good one - and it’s been a central point for me, too! A few years ago Laura pointed this out to me, that that’s where my focus should lie - not in the esoteric content of what we are trying to do, but ‘simple karmic understanding’. That was quite a wake-up call for me. Because in a way it is much easier to get lost in esoteric thinking and mulling over arcane points of our existence, but much harder to develop into a healthy and strong individual - ‘simple karmic understandings’ are not that simple once you start applying these to your life!

I think for me one of the central points was (and still is) to get away of being centered about myself - there is more to life than just me! And the other point is the one you mentioned yourself - to love yourself, which I still kinda struggle with. The other thing that has recently occupied my mind is the question of divinity, which is intimately connected with the question why we are here and what the point of all that is. I have come to assess that from two angles - on one side from the study of evolution vs ID, and on the other side from reading about NDE and afterlife accounts. This is still an ongoing process and something that I am grappling with, but it certainly has eased off some existential angst.

Or as you said, it has taught me a little bit more to go with the flow of life and the universe, to sit back and enjoy the show - even if I regularly slip back into feelings of doom and gloom.

Upwards and onwards!
 

SlipNet

Jedi Master
Thanks for your reply nickelbleu, you make some excellent points.

The question is a good one - and it’s been a central point for me, too! A few years ago Laura pointed this out to me, that that’s where my focus should lie - not in the esoteric content of what we are trying to do, but ‘simple karmic understanding’. That was quite a wake-up call for me. Because in a way it is much easier to get lost in esoteric thinking and mulling over arcane points of our existence, but much harder to develop into a healthy and strong individual - ‘simple karmic understandings’ are not that simple once you start applying these to your life!
Yeah, this resonates with me too, only it was UFO's and not esoterica per se that was my focal point. I went a bit googly eyed and obsessed with aliens for a fair few years, and as a consequence anything that went wrong for me in life I blamed on 4d STS and of course I eschewed taking responsibility. 2004-10 was a particularly bad time, I was lost in the twilight zone back then, thank goodness I pulled through. I owe it all to basic pragmatism and a solid working class family. I came back from the brink.

The other thing that has recently occupied my mind is the question of divinity, which is intimately connected with the question why we are here and what the point of all that is. I have come to assess that from two angles - on one side from the study of evolution vs ID, and on the other side from reading about NDE and afterlife accounts. This is still an ongoing process and something that I am grappling with, but it certainly has eased off some existential angst.
I struggle with Divinity daily. It's the intangibilty (I cannot personalise this idea, see?) of the Divine that I find so difficult to understand. it's like reading Nietzche post-God; where next after the death of Yahweh? Deeper and more complex than the old ideas, it'll probably take me the rest of this life to come to a proper understanding on this point. The afterlife is furiously interesting, got a fair few friends on the other side now, many have fallen in the rough and tumble of life. I hope I don't see them for a fair while yet, however!

I have a bit of anxiety about death actually. For about 39 years I thought I was immortal, but in the last 6 years I've had health problems which have led me to reappraise things in my life. This is hard work eradicating bad habits, but is an ongoing process and I should reap the benefits in the long run. I want to face the future on planet earth as a clear minded man with a sense of purpose and an awakened conscience. I'll do all I can to achieve that goal, perhaps that's even a karmic understanding in itself?

From adversity to the stars, indeed....
 

JeanneT

Padawan Learner
Because in a way it is much easier to get lost in esoteric thinking and mulling over arcane points of our existence, but much harder to develop into a healthy and strong individual - ‘simple karmic understandings’ are not that simple once you start applying these to your life!
I find that these days I am needing to go back to what I used to consider as "basics" in spiritual thinking. I have been in some lofty places from time to time, contemplating, as you expressed so well, Nicklebleu, "arcane points of our existence". While more than fascinating, I really have to watch out for my tendency to just escape so called reality as to avoid really looking at what is in front of me....far more painful. Karmic and simple understandings that have to do with myself and those I love seem to be far more difficult for me than anything else. Recently I have tried to focus on where and how I operate as a result of programming. This involves putting some of my long held beliefs under a microscope. I am examining decisions made as a result of programming and how those decisions affected my life and the lives of my children and so on. Who am I really? What masks do I wear and why do I put them on? What have I learned and can I forgive myself for not being perfect? The C's say that life here is a school and all there is, is lessons. I must remind myself of that daily...cultivating compassion for myself and others.
 

SlipNet

Jedi Master
Karmic and simple understandings that have to do with myself and those I love seem to be far more difficult for me than anything else.
Family issues resonate with me too. My Dad for instance, is an old school Welshman of Irish family roots. He's a staunch Brexiteer, loves Boris Johnson and believes China and Russia are the work of psychopathy. But I love him, he's a bit misinformed in places, but it's not my place to change his mind. When I was a student I'd get into deep and meaningful political discussions with him over some drinks, and things would get very heated I can tell you. we just agree to disagree these days. We had a general election just before Christmas, and my Dad voted for Stephen Crabb/Conservatives. He asked me if I'd vote for him, and I just reminded him that this married father of 3 was caught sexting interns at Westminster, and I told my Dad I thought he was a smarmy git who'll do nothing for the people of Pembrokeshire. My Dad was fuming, but he swallowed his anger and we spoke of it little after. He doesn't like to admit it but he's a rigid ideologue type, but he remembers the dark days of Britain in the 1970's and he blames Labour/the left for all of the failings of those times.

Family dynamics are sublime, we're all like pieces in an orchestra on the forum, but family life, to extend the metaphor, is more akin to being in a rowdy rock n roll band, under-rehearsed but full of untapped energy. And things can go wrong at any moment.

What masks do I wear and why do I put them on?
I think these are often adaptations to protect the embryonic self, personally. I read a quote recently with an actor, and he said everything he learned about life took place in the schoolyard. For me, school was the birthplace of mask cultivation, and in my case it was definitely to adapt to unforeseen circumstances, bullying etc. You have to reintegrate these parts at some point, I'm still doing it now.
 

SlipNet

Jedi Master
This article might be of interest to you. Yale is doing a study involving mediums/schizophrenia/hearing voices. Have You Heard? Mediums Help Yale Study Voice-Hearing | Natural Awakenings Fairfield Cty/Housatonic Valley, CT
That was a very interesting read, thank you. Back between 2004-10 my experiences with hearing voices was way more pronounced than it is these days, and it could get extremely troublesome. I found the book "Operators and Things", to be the closest I can fathom to how reality was for me at that time. I was seeing semi transparent figures moving through the air, and a chorus of voices providing a running commentary on my (at the time) hapless exploits! It was utterly bizarre, I was almost moved to tears on numerous occasions. But mostly I got angry, and anger is a gift if understood and applied correctly. I had a little hardcover notebook which I'd doodle in and jot down insights. I still have the book, some of the ideas in there are totally mental, but it's a priceless little time capsule for me.

I still see and hear weird things to this day, but it's far less regular and intense these days. When crossing busy roads I am hyper vigilant and aware, knowing as I do that they can be the most dangerous moments for a person with this condition.

Now I'm wondering what I can learn from a clairaudient about managing the more distressing episodes. The more information I can gather on this strange condition the better, thanks for sharing.
 

biala84

Jedi
FOTCM Member
I know from my karma i did a lots of shit. From 2015 till now i'm reparing one life time, but from childhood another life time :/ No matter what happend in Your life now the only thing is important to do the things good in the moment, from the heart. You can turn Your karma by doing the best in the moment. The best mean You do what You feel that You should, even that my head is saying to me something else, can happends B-) Don't worry i also heard sometimes voices, can come from the inside or from the outside. Before i knew who i was in past life time i could also hear or see sometimes comunicats from the another dimension, but i was not able to understand hundred percent what it means. With another people who died for example i'm able to see them in dream and talk to them, we comunicate like this so if You have only commands then i think the other side is not so helpfull and i think definetly mocks :) Even if You have some problems with illness like schizoprenia You use a Dmso can help You, You put on Your head and You massaged :) :)
 

Stella Marys

Padawan Learner
SlipNet dijo:
Perhaps my schizophrenia was a karmic response to my crazy lifestyle in my 20's? Quite possible. Anyway, I'm just taking stock of things here, and it helps to have a written record of my thoughts. I guess as a closing question to the forum here I'm kinda wondering what karmic and simple understandings have you all discovered in your time doing the work on the self?
Good question and congratulations on the excellent work you've been doing. Schizophrenia makes the lessons more complex, but it seems that the challenge is being taken up with great success.

I'm still trying to figure out some "simple" karmic lessons
Throughout my life, the need to "belong to the group" was always present
The first group was the family where I was born, then I moved on to other groups: formal education, then there were different groups that I chose throughout my search, whether they were political groups, NGOs, courses, parish groups, etc. I wanted to be the same as the others.

I did not want to be noticed as different. I longed to go unnoticed and this situation consumed a lot of my energy, since in the attempt not to be classified as "weird", I sought to imitate others.

I was always shy and quiet, but despite this condition I had an active social life. I had friends (and they took care of me), I was not isolated, but inside I always felt that I had to make an effort to be the same as the rest, I felt that I had something "bad" that was not "good", even though people told me that I was "good", I always had that very strong feeling inside, I didn't feel good about myself from a very early age.
This feeling was my companion practically all my life.

A few years ago I was doing a PC repair course and there were about 30 women there. I remember one of my classmates said to me: "You're weird". "You talk weird". I asked her what "stuff" she meant by "weird" and she said: "I don't know, you're weird".
Well, at the time I thought that had already happened, but with this comment it came back to my mind that I was still seen differently...

When I tell people that I am shy, they don't believe me, they laugh at me because I am sociable and they have fun with me. Shyness translates into constant fear that I have to deal with day after day, if I don't pay attention it can grow and be very limiting.

I became aware of this karmic lesson, because I began to see the Pattern in my life and this allowed me to work on it. I discovered a lot of fear, a lack of confidence in myself. Need to be accepted and approved by others. Sense of not serving, of not being "good". I realized where I had to work!

The high point of this lesson was when I was faced with humiliation, lying and manipulation by a person who was sick with evil. Here the work intensified as I had to deal with the antipathy of his entire family every day. I survived this "catastrophe" and it gave me as a gift more knowledge about who I am and who I am not. It is as if I am appreciating more and more who I really am through the stripping away of who I am not. The many "I's" that Gurdjieff talks about. It was and is a very valuable lesson. I didn't waste the opportunity.

I am ... But who am I? This began to help. I think I have grown after this experience, as I reaffirm more "The Work." I still don't know who I am, but I am sure of the path I have to follow to find out!
 

SlipNet

Jedi Master
I'm still trying to figure out some "simple" karmic lessons
Throughout my life, the need to "belong to the group" was always present
I have a kind of on/off relationship with that idea. On the one hand I derive a great sense of security being by myself, and yet I can also crave that sense of belonging to others. It sounds contradictory but somehow I manage to get the balance right between solitude and group belonging.

I did not want to be noticed as different. I longed to go unnoticed and this situation consumed a lot of my energy, since in the attempt not to be classified as "weird", I sought to imitate others.
I had a way of disappearing in crowds if I thought things were ever in danger of getting confrontational as a kid. Not sure how I managed it, but in the main it worked. I was bullied a little bit on two separate occasions, but nothing major. In fact one incident was my fault, as it was a consequence of me shooting my mouth off too many times. I learned to be more cautious with my words as a result.

I was also something of a mimic in school, part of the mask wearing that I mentioned earlier in the thread. Just doing impressions of people, I was good at doing accents in particular, and it often raised a laugh too. I never minded playing the clown/fool in order to get a little basic acceptance.

The mask wearing got a little out of hand in my university years however. In adapting to London life, I actually adopted a kind of English accent to fit in. When I got home for the holidays, I was shocked to find that I now had two accents vying for supremacy in my brain. Hah! A fool I was...anyway the Welsh accent triumphed eventually but it was a battle for a while. It seems silly, but it's actually a real condition, I think it's called being bi-dialectal. The actress Gillian Anderson has the condition apparently, two perfectly formed accents in one brain!
 

Laura

Administrator
Administrator
Moderator
FOTCM Member
For me, the most profound lesson of my life was that I think according to my programming. Everybody does. And programming can get in the way of truth. To learn how to see reality AS IT IS became a goal - and it isn't easy. Along with that came many "simple" things, including the truth about relationships and so much more.
 

MichaelM

Jedi
FOTCM Member
My own "karmic and simple understanding" that I think I've discovered and would like to share:

Anger is a result of reality not matching expectations.

In retrospect and when I catch myself being angry, it always seems to be the case when something happens that is different from my expectations.
If I expect my wife to have cleaned the dishes instead of watching something on her phone, or if the car ahead of me did not use their signal light before changing lanes or if I expect my boss to have approved my time off request timely when I've filed it months ahead of the requested time off.

It helps to think that there are some things that I don't know so I had not been able to formulate proper expectations. Like if my wife was actually watching a video of some very disturbing current world news events (e.g. Australia burning), or the car ahead of me was avoiding another car on the opposite side of where my lane was, or my boss is swamped and distracted dealing with a loss in her family.

New knowledge/inputs would have properly adjusted my initial expectations and so the "newly formulated expectations" now more closely meet/match the reality of the situation and would not cause me to be angry (or upset or disappointed).

With that in mind, I think "being more understanding" can be still having expectations but not having the expectations be "set in stone". Having an expectation would be kind of like formulating a hypothesis and seeing if it pans out; if it doesn't you try to get to the bottom of why. It would be funny to think of a scientist having a hypothesis and then throwing a fit if the experiment didn't go the way that they hypothesized.

Of course, coming to a "karmic and simple understanding" is one thing; practicing it daily is another. I still catch myself "asleep" a lot of the times and forget this "karmic and simple understanding" that I think I've discovered.
 

SlipNet

Jedi Master
For me, the most profound lesson of my life was that I think according to my programming. Everybody does. And programming can get in the way of truth. To learn how to see reality AS IT IS became a goal - and it isn't easy. Along with that came many "simple" things, including the truth about relationships and so much more.
Now this interests me considerably. I've been reading about programming since reading your Wave volumes, but I still struggle with habits and traits that are incredibly inflexible. Also my entire worldview is a thing I wonder about; I mean, as a 6 year old I was watching Hammer horror flicks on late night tv with my Gran, and I was exposed to very adult themes, sex, death, murder, evil etc. I just took it all in my stride, it's bizarre thinking back, I just thought of life as a place akin to a jungle, with predatory types being part of the terrain. I used to read books on animals too, the animal kingdom fascinated me. everything was wild and untamed. How I assimilated everything to the age of about 16/17 is something that I'm keen on getting to the bottom of in my current journalling.

How you're exposed to new things and how you integrate your experiences reveals your own inner processes I suppose. It's just ineffable when you take it to the limit though. You just keep scratching and peeling away, and there's always more stuff which you hadn't got to before. Makes me think about when the C's said that your experiences and lessons will literally never end. Which is fine with me, 'cos I'm a sworn enemy of stasis and boredom.
 

SlipNet

Jedi Master
Anger is a result of reality not matching expectations.
True, but it can also be the result of witnessing a grave injustice. I suppose that fits into that statement if you think about it though, so you are correct.

Of course, coming to a "karmic and simple understanding" is one thing; practicing it daily is another. I still catch myself "asleep" a lot of the times and forget this "karmic and simple understanding" that I think I've discovered.
This is a massive point for me, I've ground my gears over this more than anything in my life. it's a bit paradoxical, because I'm a bit tense with my illness, but I'm also very laid back and easy going, if that makes sense. I know tension/anxiety sucks, so I never, I repeat, never, take my troubles out on those near and dear to me. But sometimes, as you say, I fall back asleep and repeat a behaviour pattern from ten years before! I think that's why the karmic/simple concept has been exercising my mind so much lately. Instinctively I think it's crucial in keeping a sane head in the years to come. As that good quote from Joe went, we've just got to work on being good functioning basic beings, not occult warlords fighting some pretentious esoteric war.
 

pecha

Padawan Learner
I affirm myself that I'll control my judgment of others, yet I still do it automatically. I feel like it's a program that's inherent in me, and work daily to quell it. Rather than going with the flow, judgement goes against the grain. It introduces a cascade of issues with seeing objective reality. How can I see it objectively if I've placed a biased label on it? I've been working on it and it has been quite a journey.
 
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