Thanks for sharing your view, Stefan.
I think that the difficulty of approaching this question is somewhat associated with what makes meditation feel like death. Roughly, it is also related to the problem about monotheism and/or mental conditioning for exploitation.
I observe in myself that the problem is about continuously seeking a strict external authority over our existence and over existence in general. You know, even in 3D, people tend to deify celebrities, and we are told and we can already perceive that humanity is prone to readily deify 4D beings, which is probably one of the reasons for why 4D STO abstains from explicitly showing up in our life and why 4D STS seems to continuously check the will of humanity to want them to show up as gods. And there are 6D beings, some of which are our personal higher selves that we might occasionally be perceiving as God communicating with us implicitly, and some of which we have explicit channeled information from. They are much more suitable to be deified but their polarity of STO is at very high percentages, they are called "angels", who are extremely dedicated to serve rather than being served. And from the attitude of the Pleiadians, Ra and the Cs, we clearly see that they certainly don't want to be deified, and remember that regarding a question about who the Prime Creator is (as opposed to lesser gods, I think), the Cs gave the sharp answer, "You are 'Prime Creator'". As far as I can perceive from the channeled data that Prime Creator or 7D is 100% STO. Essentially, STO means "being"and this is the common denominator of everything that exists. And I think this is what the Cs mean in their statement, "All is 7th density." And along the same line, "As long as you exist, you are of the Prime Creator", and "There is no time, you dwell there {7D} eternally."
All of these emphases are against deification, against the most problematic aspect of monotheism; an absolute and exclusive deification of an external source. But in our story in 3D STS, we have somehow allowed ourselves to be severely traumatized and kind of enslaved by 4D STS and their extensions in 3D STS. Most religious, governmental, military and financial organizations are basically co-opted to maintain and deepen the overt and covert slavery of humanity. And it is such an indescribably blessing development that Russia and its potential allies now seem to be taking firm steps against the global organization of bloodsuckers as foretold by the Cs.
Back to the original issue... I think that due to the effects of a long history of traumatization, slavery, torture, brainwashing, etc., most people hesitate to make an independent definition or have an independent awareness of their being, or of being/existence in general. They have difficulty in getting keenly aware of their existence. They feel like their ambiguous existence is given to them by an external source and thus it is dependent on it. For this reason, I think, most people feel forced to embrace the status quo however evil it is. This might also be likened to the situation of a small child with a malignant parent or parents. The above-mentioned institutions in our life behave us like our malignant parents; as in, "they might be evildoers but they are our parents after all, we are dependent on them, we can't survive without them. They are the owner, controller and the definer of life and existence!" Of course, there are also many relatively positive influences in our lives and they are also a part of the definition of our existence but the evil status quo is there and very central and dominant.
And as meditation is kind of a temporary and small-scale death to ordinary life that we do without completely losing a basic awareness of our being a part of the ongoing ordinary life (unlike in sleep and death), this can make meditation difficult and somewhat disturbing because you are supposed to release your definitions of your life and existence in the status quo. As we are generally not taught or sufficiently guided about our existence independently of the status quo of the mundane life, meditation can feel like committing suicide or unwise at best. Personally, I don't generally have the patience and eagerness to wait more than a few seconds without an active thought process and expectations or anticipations. Then I try to consciously guide myself to have a deep relaxation, peace and rejuvenation but in many of these meditational efforts, I experience a sense of conflict because although I feel that I have access to such positive thoughts and feelings, I have difficulty allowing myself to actually experience them profoundly. I think this is partially because experiencing those positivities freely in this way is not something that I'm accustomed to and that it would require on my part a fundamental redefinition about what life and existence really is but that this is certainly not that easy because I don't seem to be able clutch the depths of my STS programming about what life and existence really is as opposed to what has long been fed to my consciousness across a bombardment of STS conditions that I have almost considered to be what life and existence is!
Lastly, I want to mention one of the mental practices that I'm testing in the process of seeking various solutions to this deeply entrenched problem. I tend to base it on the anti-deification suggestions above. It is also closely related to what is intended by a general meditation; releasing egoic anxiety, expectations, anticipations, endless seeking, etc. I stop. I mentally stop my identification with the life in the mundane status quo as much as possible. And this is not the most important part, it is rather an automatic result of the primary identification with or awareness of being the absolute being, again, to the extent possible. Nothing and nowhere further to do or to go. It is the absolute core of existence. I am that. Everyting is that. No expectation, no anticipation, no time, no seeking, no deficiency, no desire... just pure and perfect being that is the root core of everything that exists. I find this thought or concept to be extraordinarily relaxing, soothing, balancing, healing, etc. And I think this really helps me "gradually" get rid of the deep STS programs about the core truth of existence and life. By the way, I certainly don't mean that this will relieve us of the extremely vital necessity to always network for increasing our knowledge and awareness and counteracting the internal and external STS factors in our lives, I mean that it can just help just like a good sleep does.