How are you getting on with the Healing Developmental Trauma book? It sounds somewhat similar to the Connection defence style. At the very least you may not be well grounded in your body.
I actually got the book just as I was starting my NO sessions, and read it during the sessions. Unlike all the other books like those by Stout, Simon, Hort, Pressman, Golomb, which I couldn't connect with despite refection, meditation, or constantly stopping and trying to place the info into my life (connect with it), this one by Heller hit the nail on the head. All this information I'd had all along arranged themselves like pieces in a puzzle and made sense, a story that fit. Once I've gone through more NO sessions, I may go back and read those other books again, and maybe I'll be clear enough to see a reflection. I identified a few traumas, but the main one was was my birth experience, which set me up for everything else. As for not being well grounded in my body, I've been working on connecting with body since my youth, and I don't feel that is a huge problem, although I have a strong tendency to think/intellectualize. It depends on context. Often at the screen, or reading, I can be in my head, but if I choose I can be both in my head and in my body at the same time while doing those activities with no difficulty, and I practice it occasionally.
I am working on the post of my NO sessions experience, and I should be done soon.