New Attacks

rylek

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
EsoQuest said:
Obsessive thoughts seem to trigger the stress, but often they are the result of biochemical imbalance themselves, so it's hard to distinguish which is the chicken and which is the egg here.
I also wanted to add that for some time now I have been having obsessive sexual thoughts. It is nothing specific but a general range of thoughts about sex and sexual acts. It is mainly bothering as opposed to disturbing. I just wanted to get the general statement out.

I read EQ's suggestions and thoughts for Ben but have been wondering if anyone might have any general thoughts. I am reflecting on this myself but wanted to ask about other people's experiences with this.
 

ark

Administrator
Administrator
Moderator
FOTCM Member
The answer is simple: don't get obsessed with your obsessive thoughts. Instead, get obsessed with something more productive.
 

Ben

Jedi Council Member
Reading your first post, Rylek, makes me think back to the first experience of this kind that I had last year. At that time, I was dreading going back to sleep because I was such a terrifying concept that this could happen again. Looking back, I can see that it was the novelty of the experience that had such an effect on me. Many possible 'attacks' have occurred since (although they have decreased dramatically in frequency and intensity), but my response has been so much calmer that it is almost as if I am responding to a mundane incident. Calming myself down and dealing with the emotional disturbance of this new phenomenon in my life may have been easy, but I am still left with little real knowledge as to what exactly I was/am dealing with and why.
 

rylek

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
Thanks for the comments Ben. It's exactly as you say, another lesson to increase our real knowledge somewhat as it is precisely when coming into contact with these forces that more knowledge can be gained.

As I mentioned in my first post, these events have been coming and going over the years but the intensity has increased recently which on one hand is 'good' and maybe it shows that I may be slowly breaking from my slumber but having said that I am cautious and as always struggling with my subjectivity and limits. Not to get distracted by the experience itself but attempt to see the underlying principles at play both in us and around - a balanced approach.

Thinking about this takes me back to when all this started, the apartment I lived in was literally infested with these energies. At that time I thought they were 'dead dudes', and some of it could have been, but even at that time I wondered about the possibility of there being 'so many' of them. It seems that at that time I either became sensitive to or started to open up and feel more of what is going on around us.

By now I am more prepared to deal with this and I'll keep working on not being caught unprepared when they come. Last night's encounter had a very vicious feel to it and most likely they'll be back for more. Anyway, something for me to contemplate and prepare myself for.

I also wanted to mention that it's great having the possibility to talk about this, the possibility to network and increase knowledge with the help of others.
 

rylek

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
Another night and 'they' were back yet again.

I don't want to get too much into the experience as it is pretty much the same even though this time it seemed there were more of them and taking turns having a go at me.
They hung around pretty much the whole evening and when I went to bed announced their attack with a strong jolt. They came actually twice during the night; the first time right after I went to bed and then in the middle of the night.

So by now I am getting somewhat used to this and with this I mean I have no problems focusing on my mind and keeping calm and on top of things. The problem is not the fear - in other words the mental side - but my body. It seems that when these things start coming it activates the cellular memory and my body goes into panic mode. At this stage I have to focus really hard to get my heart rate down which at this point is going through the roof but the strange thing is that mentally I am calm and in a way 'enjoying' the experience. By that I mean that I study clinically what is going on and try to get as much out of it as possible.

A source of strength seems to be my abdomen area. It feels like I can get strength from it and can actually 'lean' on it for support. But having said that it is not as strong and it takes a few moments to have this area as support.

There are a few things I wanted to ask at this point. While this thing is feeling me all over (maybe looking for a weak spot) I am wondering what I should do mentally.
Should I oppose them all the time while this is going on (focusing on positive things, trying to fight with them etc.). The reason I ask is that especially during the second event after calmly observing what was going on and after some time I felt like going back to sleep since what ever it was trying to achieve wasn't having an impact on me. Now I might be wrong here and it can be a trap to get me complacent but nonetheless I felt that whatever it came for it wasn't getting.

I would very much appreciate any thoughts or comments on this.
 

Ben

Jedi Council Member
rylek said:
So by now I am getting somewhat used to this and with this I mean I have no problems focusing on my mind and keeping calm and on top of things. The problem is not the fear - in other words the mental side - but my body. It seems that when these things start coming it activates the cellular memory and my body goes into panic mode. At this stage I have to focus really hard to get my heart rate down which at this point is going through the roof but the strange thing is that mentally I am calm and in a way 'enjoying' the experience. By that I mean that I study clinically what is going on and try to get as much out of it as possible.

I would very much appreciate any thoughts or comments on this.
I can completely identify with this, and it has progressed to the situation which I described in my previous post. There seems to be a correlation, not neccessarily causative, between the strength of my mental response to 'attack' and the frequency and intensity of these events.
 

rylek

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
... I've been going through the Cass transcripts and found a passage which might be relevant to our topic, that not all the events we perceive as attacks are necessarily STS demon energies but could also be 'loose energies' or attachments in general. Maybe I am repeating here something which is obvious ....

95-03-04

(T) About the attachments, what dawned on me was that, as we are drawing power, as we are increasing our energy level, we
are drawing more and more of them to us.
(L) You think so?
(T) The stuff I have been experiencing in the last few days with these attachments is... they are coming to us because we
look like the light to them.
(S) Can read auras, you know. (S) I do it with my eyes closed.
(T) Part of the attack experience is most likely the increase in these loose energy things flying around. And, as I realize this, I work to improve my shielding so that it holds automatically. Where I work is full of negative energy and a horrible place to be in terms of attachments. I
walk across the parking lot and they fly at me. I can sense them.
(F) Where I work, of course, two of the people there are alcoholics and you can bet they are a bus load with nobody
driving.
(S) Well, the Jin shin do goes beyond the body right to the energy level, also.
(T) And, what we are doing right here, in this room, is that we are building an energy that may be drawing attachments to your house.
 

rylek

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
....had another 'visit' last night. It's been a while since the last time. It started as usual just before dawn, 'they' - whoever they are - seem to like this time. I meditate before going to sleep and on this particular occasion I've been recapitulating my interactions mostly with a former girlfriend from whom I finally cut off all contact but that is another story. Have been doing that as part of going through the 'Organic Portal' topic again as well.

Either way, everything began with two bad dreams. The first one was very weird with a setting of a frozen landscape. Actually the whole dream had the feel of 'being on a transport to a concentration camp during winter' with some not so nice 'special effects' mixed in. The second one had a completely opposite Carribean setting, palms, sea and all that, but none the less I was pursued and shot at.

After waking up and 'kindly' telling whatever was there to get lost I got up to write down the dreams. I got in the habit of writing them down ever since March. Took some time to write everything down before going back to bed.

Because it's summer break for us students, I have more time and energy to spend on reading and learning which is nice. A brief respite before getting back into to the grind of academia and minimum wage.

On another note, I recently had a strange period of being reluctant to go out with a sort of 'aversion' towards other people. It hung around for a week or so and left. Well it didn't just leave, had to work on it to work it out. No idea what that was about.
 

Z...

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
Ben said:
Reading your first post, Rylek, makes me think back to the first experience of this kind that I had last year. At that time, I was dreading going back to sleep because I was such a terrifying concept that this could happen again. Looking back, I can see that it was the novelty of the experience that had such an effect on me. Many possible 'attacks' have occurred since (although they have decreased dramatically in frequency and intensity), but my response has been so much calmer that it is almost as if I am responding to a mundane incident. Calming myself down and dealing with the emotional disturbance of this new phenomenon in my life may have been easy, but I am still left with little real knowledge as to what exactly I was/am dealing with and why.
This was more or less my experience.

As for the question what we are dealing with here I guess I am not ready yet for the answer, everything in its good time
 

Neil

Jedi Council Member
FOTCM Member
Interesting thread. Two weekends ago I had a rather unusual experience. I'd pretty much always believed in aliens, but ghosts seemed rather outlandish until it was explained to me in the Cass material.

Anyway, I was having a dream on Saturday night about a major hurricane coming through Florida and causing widespread chaos. There was total anarchy; imagine all of Central Florida being like New Orleans. However, instead of sending aid, they placed the area under a military quarantine. My dad and I found this old guy who was carrying a radio around and he was talking gibberish, but kept coming back to the point that we belonged to "them" we were "their" toys and "they" were going to conduct various experiments on us in order to make us more useful. Then we saw some tanks coming down the road, and we thought that the guy was talking about the military. For some reason we believed him and ran into the woods. (There was more to it than that, but I'm trying to simplify it to keep you from reading about the unnecessary weird stuff that comes out of my head) After we ran into the woods, I woke up and felt a presence and what I like to refer to as a cold field. A cold field is a sensation where your body is warm, but your insides feel like they are freezing. I was wary of this, but the cold field gradually subsided after awhile and I thought I was just shaken up because I had a weird dream.

When I went back to sleep, I immediately fell into another dream, where I was inside my house during a chaotic thunderstorm. It was like they were firing lightning out of cannons up in the sky or something. When the lightning flashed, I could see these dark figures breifly illuminated. They looked like shadows, but they moved. They were running around and around the house and I had the feeling they were going to get me. For some reason, I walked to the center of the house and tried to meditate, of all things. When I got into my meditation stance, all of this energy flew out of my body and condensed into silver lightning bolts that started striking rapidly around the house. These lightning bolts left a bit of a glow where they hit the ground, and the lightning bolts formed a circle around the house. After that, the thunderstorm subsided, and I felt that I was safe. After that, I was dumped into another dream where I was running through a dark forest. Everything was pitch black, and I was just stumbling around. Eventually, I saw a light, and I wandered into this camp where they were throwing some kind of tiki party. Some guy offers me a beer, and I decline and decide to sit on the edge of camp and try to get a grip on myself. Then I'm approached by this aryan child who starts talking to me about time travel and multiverse theory. The kid is about 3 years old, and I'm fascinated by his discussion, but most of it is incomprehensible to me. Eventually he tells me that one day I will understand, and he leaves. Then another guy, about mid 20's comes over to me, and I notice he's holding my dream journal. He's open to a page where I had a dream about conducting high energy physics experiments (it was a really obscure sketchy dream) and he tells me that once one has sufficient awareness, they can actually manipulate particles at the quantum level instead of just influencing their behavior. He then scrawls down this formula over the page that is supposed to represent the relationship. By this point, all of this nonsense was so far over my head that all I could do was stare. He tells me to never forget what I've learned. Then I lose it for some reason, and go tearing through the woods like some wild animal, clutching the journal.

After that, I find myself in a sort of semi-sleep, listening to the familiar hum of my bedroom fan. I feel that cold feeling come over me again, and a deep voice says, "Good Morning Neil." I sit straight up in my bed, wide awake. I notice that nothing is there, and my dad is still snoring at the other end of the house. I at first try to reconstruct the formula on a sheet of paper, and then get to thinking that I'm probably going crazy. The memories of the dreams come rushing back to me, and I have about a 15 minute breakdown period where I try to figure out whether or not I'm turning into some type of New Age lunatic. I calm myself by realizing it is not the first weird thing that has happened to me and probably won't be the last, and that as long as I try to remain sane and objective, I will be ok.

The rest of the day is pretty much normal. I regain my composure and restore my outer appearance of being a normal human. Sunday night rolls around, and I have this funny suspiscion that something is going to happen. I go to bed hoping for the best. That night, I have a dream, for brevity, that I get stuck in some sort of pocket universe. The "universe" consists of a little town and its countryside. Maybe an area of 300 sq miles. Throughout my time in this universe, I'm being chased by MIBs. I eventually meet this girl who tells me that I somehow got stuck in this realm, and that people are chasing me because they want my mind. I ask her to clarify, and she says that people like her can control reality with their minds and that I could too if given the proper training. She makes a doorway appear in a concrete wall as a sort of demonstration. I follow her into her house, which is full of books and maps. I tell her that the reality thing is cool, but I would really rather get back to Earth. She starts asking me about Texas, and concludes that she can take me through a portal to Texas if we obtain a certain artifact. She also tells me that a few hours in this pocket universe will pass like years on Earth. I tell her I don't care, I just want to go back. So we go through through an industrial district, being fervently chased by MIBs. She manages to lose them with her cool reality manipulating powers and teleports us inside a factory where this artifact is supposed to be hidden. We start digging through tools and drawers and junk and I find the artifact. This artifact is simply the hands to a grandfather clock. She grabs it from me and runs out of the building. She materializes a car and we head back toward the "Museum of Time" but not before having another round with the MIBs. This time they are coordinating their attacks from black helicopters which seem to be immune to my girlfriend's powers. We somehow get to the Museum, and she leads me to a room that is full of clocks. (Interestingly, this is also the same place that the dream began) We find a clock that is missing its hands, and she puts them on. She then tells me to stand in front of it, bids me farewell, and tells me that this will warp me to the realm called Texas. She sets the time to 1:30, and I am enveloped in a bright light. The next thing I know, I'm standing out in a barren plain. I realize that there is a lot of concrete in this plain, and I see the remnants of a few buildings. It looks like the place was nuked. I look up in the sky and notice a bunch of black, V-shaped craft gliding gracefully through the air. The craft have a triangular section of their middle cut out of them so they truly look like the letter V. Then some silver craft that look vaguely like SR-72s come and engage the Vs. One of the silver craft lands next to me and a congenial centaur type alien tells me to get in before I get blown up. I'm skeptical, but getting in the craft sounds better than being in a warzone, so I do it. The craft is basically just a souped-up airplane, but it gets me to orbit. In Earth's orbit there is a much larger battle going on between huge vessels. I get on a carrier ship, and one of the Centaur commanders tells me that Earth's population has been decimated, down to about 600 million. He also tells me that Sol and several other systems got sucked into some type of alternate universe which the people on the black ships are trying to conquer. There are several space battles as I stay with this Centaur species as they go to various planets and outposts. I woke up during one of the battles.

I heard a crash noise in the house and then a lot of creaking. At this time, I got the feeling I was dealing with some sort of entity. I felt the cold field, but it was different this time. It felt like I was wrapped in a cocoon of coldness, and that something was groping at my insides. I got into a slumpped position in my bed, and my body started shaking. My head rolled from side to side and I could barely concentrate. I was numb and almost paralyzed. I felt like something was trying to subdue my consciousness. I started alternating between coherent sentences like "You can't have me," "I will never obey you" and gibberish like "mo nah may yo no rah." I don't really know if it was me who was saying these things or not. Eventually, after several minutes of this I started gaining power over the entity. It was trying to tell me to abandon my path or something like that, and I told it that I was too far along to quit now. Shortly after that, it just ended. There was no more cold, and full control of my body was restored. Weird huh?

It sounds pretty crazy, but I was following this thread and thought I would bring up this experience to see what you all thought. It must be the weirdest thing I've ever experienced. I included the dreams as background. It seemed interesting that this was happening in between these weird dreams. Yeah, it is interesting to ponder what exactly we are dealing with...
 

rylek

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
I wanted to post a sort of update not only about the nightly visits but also about my dreams. I am again going through the different threads on related topics to refresh my memory as well. Any feedback would be appreciated, as always.

Things seem to be getting worse over the last month or so after a period of relative calm during the summer. There seems to me to be a strong connection with dreams. Now pretty much every night something happens. Be it a presence in the room after going to bed, or later on during the night, or dreams of attacks and hostile encounters.

On an average night after going to bed a really strong presence enters my room. While I meditate I start to perceive black shadows (for a lack of better description) creeping slowly towards me. They either hang around or leave and come back during the night.

To sidetrack a little, during the summer I had a strange thing happen to me. For no reason at all for a period of about two weeks, I became afraid and reluctant to go out of the house because of fear of people. I have no explanation for why this occured. I just became shy and suspicious to the point of being afraid of people. After a couple of weeks it went away.

My dreams have been wild for some time now but over the last moth or so they are wilder than usual. I constantly seem to be pursued by invisible forces and entities, fighting them off and generally being under attack.
In one of my dreams, a week or so ago, I was downstairs in our house walking through the kitchen door to our storage shed. Suddenly, something falls on top of me and a presence rushes at me from the back. I scream for help and eventually wake up.

In last night's dream, I was on my way home passing through a neighborhood of council houses. I started to get really afraid, bordering on panic, followed by an 'abduction' - by abduction I mean floating off the ground. I woke up with yet again more presence in my room. (This is not related to this topic but among the other weird things happening I see faces in everything. The other day my eyes wandered to a towel hanging on a door when suddenly a face with big eyes suddenly materialized from the color pattern.) Not to mention hearing screams or voices in my head prior to waking up. I guess it should be mentioned that I do not suffer from sleep paralysis.

I've been down over the last few months. My impression is that these nightly activities have to do with some sort of energy draining. I experience lack of energy and everyday life seems to be getting harder. This means I have to really watch out for any points of possible attacks. It could just be my imagination but lately it has been the case that if something can go wrong, however small the chance is, it will. Also, I really have to push myself into reading (reading Ouspensky's ISOTM and Keel's Mothman at the moment and recently received Snakes in Suits and Without Conscience).

It's all starting to add up.
 

Color

Jedi Council Member
rylek said:
I wanted to post a sort of update not only about the nightly visits but also about my dreams. I am again going through the different threads on related topics to refresh my memory as well. Any feedback would be appreciated, as always.
First of all I would like to say that this situation looks pretty exhausting, especially cause of the length and insensitivity of those events, happening to you, and because of the good-night-sleep which is interrupted during that time.
I can recognize many familiar factors within, for me having a quality sleep happens once in every few months and usually at the very edge of a serious body exhaustiveness, but I learned to 'trick' that with many different solutions, I found working quite good, for me.

Since I'm 'reading' here, from your posts, that you're probably feeling 'on the edge' sometimes, deeply disturbed with all going on and in effort to understand it and make it stop, I would sincerely recommend you, for the start, to focus on making it easier for yourself.
In a way of focusing on relaxing and reducing the stress level any way you can/know.

That is not a solution for the things bothering you but it's a start in dealing with it all (beside getting knowledge and being a part of this forum, where you can share and gain some assistance and support, for many people had/having similar experiences,) which should give you the strength and improve your situation.

The reason why I'm suggesting to start with relaxing is because when one is stressed out - it's very difficult to deal with even little, everyday things, not to mention a job responsibilities and family demands. That can lead into messing up many parts of one's life, since the very level from which we approach to problems - is messed and stressed up. So, it's obvious that the further it continues it would be expected to get more and more complicated and all 'going down the hill'... but also it could be another way of the attacks - from Cass Glossary about the attacks (http://glossary.cassiopaea.com/glossary.php?id=128):

This may involve an endlessly broad range of circumstances. These will generally not be distinguishable from bad luck or any common adversity. These occur in whichever area one may be most vulnerable. Attack may be evident but its relation to a control system or General Law will almost by definition remain indemonstrable to a third party. This can be akin to a Murphy's law: If it can go wrong, it will.
But, it's hard to tell and anyway, you can hardly know it/prove it, so either way it's best to start to do what you know/can and that's to strengthen yourself in order to eliminate the possibilities of messing things up even worst because of the stress and exhausting factors. ;)
So, create a balance in your life and put some weight on 'the other side of the scale', by doing things which are calming you and feels refreshing,
long walks in the nature will certainly benefit you, maybe try some swimming or long relaxing baths, whatever works for you. There are many things you can try, find out what works the best in what situation and simply do it. Catching up on sleep during the daytime, meditating, all that cold help. Take care of yourself in a way you would treat a troubled love one going through a tough phase, you would focus on making it a bit easier by helping them to relax and get hold of their inner strenght, any way it works for them, right?

Also, continuing the work on yourself, gaining new knowledge and maybe finding some creative way to loose the extra steam, this ALL should help. My daughter had some very intense dreams, similar to yours, about black-robes person without face, trying to kill her, happening through few months period and we had some very ugly and bizarre things happening at that time in our lives, so I think I can connect well with what you're going through... I looked through psychiatric books on how to deal with traumatized kids and there are many good techniques and advices, the ones you can apply to yourself also, cause it transforms the way we deal with those experiences, in a simple language and easy techniques.

hold on and take care of yourself

Ivana
 

rylek

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
Hi Ivana,

Thank you very much for yours above. Appreciate it. Yes, having the Forum is a helpful beyond words.

These attacks seem to come and go. Like now things have been quiet for a few days. But as they quiet down they soon escalate again. It's like a roller coaster ride. But in general, this is a general comment about life, it's getting more and more difficult to get to the important things. Very often I find myself in this 'defense mode', anticipating constantly sources of attack, and it's draining. As you point out, trying to find a balance is the aim.

Cass Glossary said:
Attacks usually involve a 'vector' or 'portal' of attack. This is a group or person through which the trouble takes place. The expression 'closing portals of attack' means taking precautions against various possible attacks. This would mean avoiding possible legal liabilities, not giving any grounds for rumors, not taking unnecessary risks, etc.
I had an incident at work before the summer. In my opinion it was a good example of an attack (I could be wrong but that's how it looks to me after re-examining it many times) It involved one of my 'bosses' at work. I wouldn't say he's necessarily psychopathic, but definitely mentally unstable. It literally came from nowhere but apart from stressing me out over the possibility of losing my job for no reason it didn't leave permanent marks. It was a helpful learning experience.

Anyway. As you say
Color said:
it's best to start to do what you know/can and that's to strengthen yourself in order to eliminate the possibilities of messing things up even worst because of the stress and exhausting factors. ;)
I just recently bought a new bike (bike to work and Uni everyday) and since the weather's still nice up here in tartan land I bike a lot. That's one way of actively clearing one's head.

Daniel
 

rylek

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
Hello again. There seems to be a new development. I have come to the realization that the nightly episodes that I've been experiencing for a while now are most likely the result of a serious spirit attachment. It would at least explain the persistent nature of the phenomenon, imo. Not only that, but for the last few months I haven't been feeling myself either and I don't mean that as a result of these attacks.

For example I had these really long essays to work on for Uni and I basically had to use all my will power to make myself work on these projects and still the progress was pitiful. I normally don't have any problems like this. Also, it seems that slowly over time I managed to 'dig out' something in my meditations.

Also, I recently finally started reading the 'Practical Psychic Self-Defense' by Robert Bruce but didn't too far yet (mentioning his name I can't help but think of Robert the Bruce, the King of Scotland :). It seems that everything has bubbled up to the surface, so to speak, especially tonight, as I sit here at 2.30am after not much more than a few hours of sleep last night. So it seems that it finally 'clicked' only recently thanks to my general slowness and total inability to see what was going on. Some other symptoms I've noticed over this mentioned time period, while self observing myself I started noticing slight discrepancies, if they can be called that, such as acting contrary to what I wanted to do. As my head was thinking to not do something, my body would do it anyway, especially when interacting with people.

Tonight I've had quite some dreams culminating in having a conversation, in the library where I work, with a severed head inhabiting a robotic body. Some really tasty details on this arrangement were the liquid draining outlet on the bottom of the head, as well as some moving ligaments at the back and the side of the head. Before that one, I was walking through our house which was infested with something, not really sure what, a presence definitely, maybe even spiders and spider webs.

So I am basically asking what can I do in the mean time, before I go back to Prague for the holidays, because there's plenty of help to deal with this. Don't have the time to now to look for spirit release people over here.

And many thanks to QueenVee for your own experiences, much appreciated!
 
A

Angel of Fire

Guest
Hey guys, I'm an exorcist. You guys are being bombarded by unclean spirits/ demons, no doubt about it. What I'm about to tell you is very deep, even churches won't accept what I know and only the desperate look me up. But I see them, the demons. Most demons are human spirits, the unsaved. I have seen ones that look like aliens as well. What they do is the enter you and overlay your brain in order to relive their lives. I know this sounds creepy, but its kind of like a battle for the control stick of your body. The can claw you and pull your spirit from your body and make you very sick. They are the Geeshun. They have no body and want to use yours. The person who trained me to do exorcisms has "constant vision" and sees them all the time. I only see them during an exorcism when the Spirit is very strong on me.

Everyone has demons. Most don't know it. You have a gatekeeper demon. He/She will carefully monitor who comes and goes and it literally is a dog eat dog world that they live in. I have come up with what I call a "Working Theory of Demonology" basically it is what I have found works to get them out. I call them up in the person and make them tell me who they are, why they are there, what they are doing in the body, and so on. Then I bind them and break them from the person, etc.....it can end up a lengthy process, but the person is healed of illnesses and set free. I have found that demons only bow to the name of Jesus....I know this is not easy for alot of people to accept, especially of differing religions, but it is true. If you find yourself in a bad situation, begin to cry out, "The blood of Jesus" and see what I mean. They are terrified of Him.

And Jesus came and spake unto them saying, "All power is given unto me, both in heaven and in earth" Matt. 28:18
 
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