Sanity

flashgordonv

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
Hi there
I stumbled across SOTT and the Cassiopaea work just in the last couple of weeks and I wanted to share some initial thoughts. When I first read some of the C material and came across the concepts of being food, I was upset, offended, repulsed and almost stopped reading. It just sounded too ridiculous and "out there", and the sort of stuff I thought was for crazy tree huggers. Nonetheless, I though I'd keep digging through the material as it was pretty interesting, and I did wonder at the strength of the reaction I initially had, and why it was so strong and I could see the material starting to make some sort of sense. And over the next few days, as I allowed myself to absorb the data and process it, I came to terms with it.

To be frank, I have invested a HUGE number of hours on the site since I discovered it - I've read all the Wave stuff and am ploughing through Adventures as we speak.

I am attracted to the approach used on this site - here is the material, look at it openly but skeptically and validate it for yourself. I've always had a problem with new age stuff where they sprout information which you are meant to just accept without question. I always have wanted to know why and in fact for a while I used to be quite down on myself because of this "left brain" tendancy I saw in myself to see and know why and find the proof.

The more I read the more things started to smack me in the face metaphorically. One thing particularly resonated with me - it was one of the Cs discussions about 3rd density STS and it was talking about obsession and possession as STS traits. I have in times past had a strong tendancy to become obsessed with things and throw myself into them 100% - something I have come to regret due to the strife it caused in my relationships. First, I did it with guitars - bought half a dozen expensive guitars over an 18 month period, and then sold them again when I didn't get the satisfaction I expected (and they didn't make me any better a player.........); then it was aerophilately, the collection of airmal letters and related materials; then expensive swiss mechanical watches.

Eventually I came to a place where I was able to analyse what was going on and admit to myself that buying another XXX was not going to make me feel fulfilled or happy. And then I was reading the Cs comments and it all just just clicked. This thing inside me was a desire to possess things in the vain hope that they would make me feel fulfilled, and it still took me many years and much money to accept that possession (and the obsession that goes with it) adds nothing to the human spirit, it is not satisfying, it does not fill the internal void. (Interestingly in the world of watch collecting, people in the game describe it jokingly as a sickness, and I attest to the fact that it is like that - and a powerful addiction as well.) Such a clever piece of programming, so many people running it and never seeing what is happening and how it so diverts their attention from the things that are really important in life.

My journey was heaps of twists and turns. I embraced fundamentalist pentacostalism for a number of years and was a lay preacher until I was forced to examine my core beliefs when my first marriage was beached. I was amazed to find this whole foundational set of underpinnings that one never examines int eh cold hard light of day - they are just accepted and never examined. Well, I started to examine them and that was the beginning of the end of my time in the church.

I looked at lots of things, sampled lots of new age stuff but was bemused that I could never feel the energy, hear the messages, or accept most of the unmitigated garbage that came through the channels I was variously exposed to. I have been in sales for 30 years and been exposed to positive thinking, visualisations, affirmations in the course of various training programs. None of these things worked consistently for me, more an occasional success. So I examined the Create Your Own Reality teachings but it seemed to me that incarnation was a bit trite and a waste of time if the only reason you are here is to learn joy.

Ten years ago I signed up for the home study Rosicrucian program, but never went to a meeting or an initiation as the meeting hall was too far away. Sad to say, the material was in my opinion trite and appeared to be recycled new age teaching. I received the first 11 degrees worth of teaching and found nothing there to assist my spiritual desires. Also amazing how quickly the requests for donations on top of your quarterly fees arrive.....

So following links I somehow stumbled across the SOTT site. The C material has been a revelation although it was hard to take at first. I look forward to participating at this site and growing in knowledge.

All the best

Gordon
 
flashgordonv said:
Hi there
I stumbled across SOTT and the Cassiopaea work just in the last couple of weeks and I wanted to share some initial thoughts. When I first read some of the C material and came across the concepts of being food, I was upset, offended, repulsed and almost stopped reading. It just sounded too ridiculous and "out there", and the sort of stuff I thought was for crazy tree huggers. Nonetheless, I though I'd keep digging through the material as it was pretty interesting, and I did wonder at the strength of the reaction I initially had, and why it was so strong and I could see the material starting to make some sort of sense. And over the next few days, as I allowed myself to absorb the data and process it, I came to terms with it.

[...]

One thing particularly resonated with me - it was one of the Cs discussions about 3rd density STS and it was talking about obsession and possession as STS traits. I have in times past had a strong tendancy to become obsessed with things and throw myself into them 100% - something I have come to regret due to the strife it caused in my relationships. First, I did it with guitars - bought half a dozen expensive guitars over an 18 month period, and then sold them again when I didn't get the satisfaction I expected (and they didn't make me any better a player.........); then it was aerophilately, the collection of airmal letters and related materials; then expensive swiss mechanical watches. [...]
Welcome, Gordon. It sounds like you went through in a few weeks is what I went through over a period of many months! My experience with the site has been very similar to yours, from what you've shared. I came to a similar conclusion on the subject of obsession and possession as well, although these stages were more in my adolescence (I'm 21). I guess you could say my few years of experience were a microcosm of yours.

While I, too, play guitar, my obsessions were more along the lines of the following: toys (I had to have full collections of all the action figures of my favourite comics/movies like Batman and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles :D), video games (I needed to have as complete a knowledge-base of the Myst and Riven games and their fictional back-story), comics (Spawn, Batman, Superman collections over a period of several years), drawing (when I was pretty young I would systematically draw everything I was interested in), music (I tried to learn every Smashing Pumpkins song when they were my favourite band along with amassing a collection of rare demos and concert recordings), etc. I guess you could say I am a recovering perfectionist/completionist. ;) Luckily I am learning a lot from these obsessions, and have started directing them towards what I now consider to be more "fruitful" endeavors.
 
hkoehli said:
Luckily I am learning a lot from these obsessions, and have started directing them towards what I now consider to be more "fruitful" endeavors.
Agreed, I am optimistic that I will be able to utilise and direct personal traits that can be so powerfully destructive into areas where they might be of very positive benefit to me and others.
 
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