Self-Calming

According to the Cassiopaea Glossary,

http://glossary.cassiopaea.com/glossary.php?id=667

Cassiopaea said:
This is the process of pushing aside thoughts or emotions that are uncomfortable.

This is a pervasive characteristic of the human condition and is found at many levels.

In the most basic sense, self-calming takes place when one rationalizes and self-justifies actions or inactions which one is not comfortable with. This amounts to putting one's conscience to sleep. This action is opposed to consciousness or conscience and is a way of furthering sleep. Systematic self-calming makes buffers.
I was wondering as to whether my approach to self- calming and buffers is the right one. Even before coming across the definition from the Cassiopaea Glossary, I was and still am determined to stay Conscious; not to fall asleep and drift away into a self-soothing and feel-good existence. My attitude is such:

I will try my utmost best to be conscious, and not put myself to sleep by self- calming, especially with regards to seeing things objectively. I endeavour to not slip into ignorance and the temporary bliss it provides, which is really subjective.

I will embrace pain and suffering; not deliberately imposed though. The pain i'm referring to is that which I experience when trying to mobilize myself for constructive reading, work, and other such endeavours.

I will not try to placate, or buffer any uncomfortable experiences or emotions, for they only strengthen me in the long run.
I accept my lot in life, and will do my best to beter myself by education and objective self improvement (not the new age bullox, filled with subjectivity).

For it is my opinion and experience that laziness and wishful/ subjective thinking has caused me the most expensive and gravest mistakes thus far.
" If only i went that extra mile, if only i made that extra effort" ... I think to myself, when a little pain, suffering and sacrifice would have benefitted me in the long run, but i instead succumbed to wishful thinking, believing, and i emphasize believing) that things would just 'magically' work out or fall into place!

That wishful type of thinking, and self-calming, the idea that you don't have to do anything, just 'believe' , without any effort or work,is a major mind-trap, which i am pulling myself out of.
(And imagine, the 'Secret' is being taken literally lock, stock and barrell by thousands, if not millions of ppl. I wasn't into the 'Secret', but i bought into one of these new age philosophies and beliefs).

I just thought I would share this self-observation/reflection.

Any other forumites care to share their attitudes and their unique takes on self-calming and buffers?
 
i'm glad you brought up self-calming, as this is one thing that confuses me. while the self-calming that occurs at a conscious level - ie rationalizing thoughts/actions so that they are more "acceptable" - is easier to identify and bring to a halt, what troubles me is unconscious self-calming. in a crisis i become totally detached from my emotions, retaining a very calm head, emotions come flooding in later. is this healthy? it really does help me to see the "bigger picture" so i am better able to deal with the situation and with the emotions when they do come.. or is it evidence of an emotional blockage?
 
ManyShadesOfJO wrote: in a crisis i become totally detached from my emotions, retaining a very calm head, emotions come flooding in later. is this healthy?
You might enjoy reading this contribution from another new forum member here: http://www.restin.7h.com/

She experienced a very extreme version of that as a result of being separated from here mother at 1 year of age. She learned how to integrate the feelings of her inner child, and is sharing her insights. Her story is well written and full of useful info even for people who have had less traumatic childhoods.
 
TheManyShadesOfJo said:
what troubles me is unconscious self-calming. in a crisis i become totally detached from my emotions, retaining a very calm head, emotions come flooding in later. is this healthy?
This is not self-calming in the sense it is used in this thread. What you talk about is disassociation. It is a normal (and healthy) reaction of the mind to a crisis. By sending away your "emotional self", your body and intellect can better concentrate on getting you out of the crisis without the interference of emotion. It only becomes unhealthy when the crisis is so long or so intense that the disassociation becomes a habit. In that case, it often gets triggered without a good reason and interferes with your normal life.

For more information on the topic, you may want to read "The Myth of Sanity" by Martha Stout and the research in this thread by Laura http://www.cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?topic=6419
 
Miss Isness, i found that immensely helpful. while my case is nowhere near as severe as hers, i do see a lot of myself in her story, having had both parents being largely absent. this has given me a huge boost along my Way, thank u!
 
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