Laura said:Session Date: October 15th 2016
Q: (Andromeda) There's a particular dream that I remember that seems to be associated with the present where somebody dies. Is that to do with past lives, or anything in the present?
A: New beginnings are usually signaled this way.
Q: (Galatea) Is that the same for my feeling of looming death that I've been sensing the past several months?
I made a request for the crystals for the crystal network. I think I could appreciate some help and those little
friends can hopefully assist me and make some difference. Sorry I could not support the group more with the donations but I lost my job. Fortunately saved some money. Nevertheless I am reluctant to work for some pathological individuals so right now I am in a tight spot. So writing this post and asking for some help seems like a good idea (you are the only normal people I know who understand what STO means).
I suppose I am afraid that I fail to take proper care of the crystals because I do not speak crystal-ish. And I absolutely do not like to determine the needs of others. Only recently I watched two beautiful trees die. I always took good care of them but my parents did not. I learned to understand them so I can care about them and they were very inteligent. I think even some trees are more inteligent than some people.
But now I lost everything so I have to live with my parents in their house. I wish I could have saved them but I was weak. I wish I could be strong but I am not. Seems for me like the end of my life. Feel like I am about to die. But I do not know. I had a dream where I died. And in that instant I thought that dying now and like this was simply pointless and stupid. I mean I didn't achieve anything in this life except for going to school and then working 24/7 for some perverts and paedophiles. If the rest of my life would be like this, I would rather die.
I am aware that my life until now was completely useless. I am AWARE of this simple FACT. And that is exactly
why I have to write this and ask for help. Because if I do not, there is only one way - check out. And then I would feel completely stupid. I wasted my whole life pursuing some illusion (my parents of course think different).
And now I am at the end of the road there is no more illusion. I feel like it is dead end, feel like have nowhere to go.
I wish I could get a chance to say "thank you" to the girl who saved my life but I never met her. I could not understand why because she told me her life would be useless without me and if I die she has to die too. I wish I could live so she could live and be happy. I could not understand why I didn't met her if she came here with me. But now I
understand, it's because she was never part of the illusion she doesn't live in the illusion. She lives real life in the real world.
That is where I wish to live now. I wish to live real life and do real things, things that matter, universally important things that when I die I could be proud of. That is what I wish for. I know that whatever happens, in the world of illusion I feel I am already dead.
I would like to thank all of you and I mean ALL who are participating in the forum because you were here for me. You created something of unspeakable value. Where else in this world people help each other like you do here? Where else I could ask for help and actually be given what I ask for? Well maybe in some Inuit village ok. But you created whole new world, real world, where people help each other and thus are doing real work. Because you are doing something that matters. That actually makes difference. You are changing lives of other people by helping them, and trust me even if you help only one person, you have just changed universe, because each of you is the whole universe. Even though I was not active on the forum for the last two years I was always with you and I will always be.