Shyness

[Jimmy Ssaz]

Shyness

Hello everyone, I wanted to know if any of you are shy? it's not something that bothers me but sometimes I blush and sweat, I really know how to cope with my shyness but I am a reserved person, I don't have friends but I do know how to get along socially, maybe some people consider me their friend but I don't consider them friends but acquaintances.

 

[mugatea]

Hi,

I'm quite shy in some circumstances. Definitely, in groups, I am not comfortable in groups at all, I almost seize up. But one on one, especially if I know them somewhat and like them, then I am much more relaxed and open and can chat loads, I like one on one situations. It all came from my school years, got picked on, then later just rejected. Used to just hang around groups of kids on the outside and not say anything, just hoping to be invisible to not become prey. Blamed bullying for my shyness, and of course thats a big part, but as I get older I tend to put more thought into thinking how I was seen by others... probably somewhat autistically shy and a bit odd I guess, and maybe I had more responsibilty than I thought at the time. Im gonna assume you are fed up with being shy... well, if so, I think you need to practice socialising more, in the areas you want to and need to. Jordan Peterson has talked about this, volontarily putting yourself in those situations to help you overcome them.

I'm incredibly shy around girls, probably that's when I'm most shy, again down to the rejection issues. I did the whole online dating thing a few years ago, did maybe 20 dates, couldnt get over the shyness, couldnt relax, things didnt get better and I relised this wasnt gonna work for me. never got a 2nd date, but funnily enough, as soon as it became apparant there was no other date, BOOM, pressure off, I could talk to the girl, relax and be myself.

Anyway, tell us more... if you want more help

 

[PerfectCircle]

I do not know if I might be of too much help, but I will tell you what I think.
I used to be shy back in school days, but got over it sometimes during university days.
My opinion is that either you overestimate other people or underestimate yourself. When I stopped thinking what others might think of me and stopped having any expectations from others, that was the turning point, not only for shyness to return to normal but for many other things as well. Also, realizing that 80% percent of people are much worse than what you thought as a kid helps as well. :D

If it is only occassional little blush and sweat , what Jimmy said, I really wouldn't be worried at all, that is normal especially if you did something regretful, it shows decency.
However, If it is more than that, Mugatea, I would work on my confidence more. Go to gym or train at home, learn new skills and be more organized, it all slowly builds and boost your confidence.
Certain jobs might help as well, when you run into too many lunatics, you might realize and feel that there is no point feeling shy, at least not to those individuals.

 

[Jimmy Ssaz]

Hi,

I'm quite shy in some circumstances. Definitely, in groups, I am not comfortable in groups at all, I almost seize up. But one on one, especially if I know them somewhat and like them, then I am much more relaxed and open and can chat loads, I like one on one situations. It all came from my school years, got picked on, then later just rejected. Used to just hang around groups of kids on the outside and not say anything, just hoping to be invisible to not become prey. Blamed bullying for my shyness, and of course thats a big part, but as I get older I tend to put more thought into thinking how I was seen by others... probably somewhat autistically shy and a bit odd I guess, and maybe I had more responsibilty than I thought at the time. Im gonna assume you are fed up with being shy... well, if so, I think you need to practice socialising more, in the areas you want to and need to. Jordan Peterson has talked about this, volontarily putting yourself in those situations to help you overcome them.

I'm incredibly shy around girls, probably that's when I'm most shy, again down to the rejection issues. I did the whole online dating thing a few years ago, did maybe 20 dates, couldnt get over the shyness, couldnt relax, things didnt get better and I relised this wasnt gonna work for me. never got a 2nd date, but funnily enough, as soon as it became apparant there was no other date, BOOM, pressure off, I could talk to the girl, relax and be myself.

Anyway, tell us more... if you want more help

Thank you for commenting and expressing it well actually when I was little there was a girl that I loved she was beautiful and my heart would beat when I saw her I would get red and sweaty and it was very very agonizing from the age of 6 to the age of 20 I always got that way because of her I was paralyzed I should have told her I was in love and I could not my heart would go out when I saw her.

 

[Jimmy Ssaz]

I do not know if I might be of too much help, but I will tell you what I think.
I used to be shy back in school days, but got over it sometimes during university days.
My opinion is that either you overestimate other people or underestimate yourself. When I stopped thinking what others might think of me and stopped having any expectations from others, that was the turning point, not only for shyness to return to normal but for many other things as well. Also, realizing that 80% percent of people are much worse than what you thought as a kid helps as well. :D

If it is only occassional little blush and sweat , what Jimmy said, I really wouldn't be worried at all, that is normal especially if you did something regretful, it shows decency.
However, If it is more than that, Mugatea, I would work on my confidence more. Go to gym or train at home, learn new skills and be more organized, it all slowly builds and boost your confidence.
Certain jobs might help as well, when you run into too many lunatics, you might realize and feel that there is no point feeling shy, at least not to those individuals.

Thank you that will do well I am not made of stone I have feelings I have a lot to work with myself but sometimes when I am focused centered and concentrated I feel extraordinarily inspired and nothing fazes me to be honest I would like to be friends with Laura and her team I wish I could but still the intention is enough I don't need to be physically close to France.

 

[SOTTREADER]

Thank you for commenting and expressing it well actually when I was little there was a girl that I loved she was beautiful and my heart would beat when I saw her I would get red and sweaty and it was very very agonizing from the age of 6 to the age of 20 I always got that way because of her I was paralyzed I should have told her I was in love and I could not my heart would go out when I saw her.

"Love" isn't the word to use I don't think. "Fascinated by", "attracted to", "intrigued by" etc are more apt descriptors. "Love" is cultivated through knowing and interacting with a person, it's reciprocal if in a romantic setting - it's not just the feeling of emotions or the power of these feelings.

 

[T.C.]

Unless it’s really negatively affecting your ability to do your job, or it’s making you depressed or miserable, then I don’t think shyness is a terrible thing. I think being shy has a stigma to it, that it’s seen as a bad thing and people who are shy should learn not to be.

But then, how has the social stigma come about? I think maybe there’s some evolutionary psychology involved. Being able to converse and share yourself with others is advantageous to working in or living in a large group. Those who are introverted and find it hard to talk to others tend to get pushed out to the sidelines, and I think this is because trust is a very important commodity in a tribe.

You can’t trust someone if you don’t know them. The quiet person who keeps to themselves and doesn’t engage with others is almost archetypal, and it stands out like a sore thumb to others. How many times do we hear stories of murderers who were quiet and introverted and didn’t interact with others? Shy, quiet types get labelled as weirdos.

I think the definition of shyness is a bit tricky, too. Is it more about how we feel, or how we act? I say this because I think there are a lot of people who are shy, but they overcompensate by talking too much to try to get rid of the anxiety they feel. By the same token, many confident people are quieter because they don’t feel any need to impress others or break awkward silences.

Our personality differences are what make us who we are, and so going back to what I said in the beginning, if it’s not causing a major issue in your life, then I don’t think it’s a big problem. The main problem it would probably cause is loneliness and a feeling of a need for connection to others. But then again, what do we mean by connection? I think there are a lot of people who have large friendship groups or families, who are often surrounded by other people, and yet they feel lonely because there’s a lack of resonance.

 

[Ben]

Jimmy, have you heard about or practiced the EE breathing program? Many people here swear by it. It stimulates the vagus nerve among other things. Prosocial behaviour is very much connected with the vagus nerve and parasympathetic nervous system. The things you describe, elevated heart rate, perspiration and so on, are counteracted by healthy vagal tone.

 

[Jimmy Ssaz]

"Love" isn't the word to use I don't think. "Fascinated by", "attracted to", "intrigued by" etc are more apt descriptors. "Love" is cultivated through knowing and interacting with a person, it's reciprocal if in a romantic setting - it's not just the feeling of emotions or the power of these feelings.

Yes, it is exactly the translator I said (in love) and they were strange sensations as described by Mouravieff in the way of love between soul mates integrame polar.

 

[Jimmy Ssaz]

Jimmy, have you heard about or practiced the EE breathing program? Many people here swear by it. It stimulates the vagus nerve among other things. Prosocial behaviour is very much connected with the vagus nerve and parasympathetic nervous system. The things you describe, elevated heart rate, perspiration and so on, are counteracted by healthy vagal tone.

Eriu Eolas I did see Juliana, Gabriela and Joe and Laura's wife in a video but I didn't see the whole thing I'm going to have to do it. Thank you

 

[Jimmy Ssaz]

Unless it’s really negatively affecting your ability to do your job, or it’s making you depressed or miserable, then I don’t think shyness is a terrible thing. I think being shy has a stigma to it, that it’s seen as a bad thing and people who are shy should learn not to be.

But then, how has the social stigma come about? I think maybe there’s some evolutionary psychology involved. Being able to converse and share yourself with others is advantageous to working in or living in a large group. Those who are introverted and find it hard to talk to others tend to get pushed out to the sidelines, and I think this is because trust is a very important commodity in a tribe.

You can’t trust someone if you don’t know them. The quiet person who keeps to themselves and doesn’t engage with others is almost archetypal, and it stands out like a sore thumb to others. How many times do we hear stories of murderers who were quiet and introverted and didn’t interact with others? Shy, quiet types get labelled as weirdos.

I think the definition of shyness is a bit tricky, too. Is it more about how we feel, or how we act? I say this because I think there are a lot of people who are shy, but they overcompensate by talking too much to try to get rid of the anxiety they feel. By the same token, many confident people are quieter because they don’t feel any need to impress others or break awkward silences.

Our personality differences are what make us who we are, and so going back to what I said in the beginning, if it’s not causing a major issue in your life, then I don’t think it’s a big problem. The main problem it would probably cause is loneliness and a feeling of a need for connection to others. But then again, what do we mean by connection? I think there are a lot of people who have large friendship groups or families, who are often surrounded by other people, and yet they feel lonely because there’s a lack of resonance.

Good reflection I get along well with my shyness that tells me that I have a soul sometimes it is a little uncomfortable but no matter my will is invincible I will fight to the end some times I had attacks in dreams with all kinds of negative entities, beings, people I remember that I always give them a beating so far I have been undefeated in fighting against demons.
Thank you

 

[Wandering Star]

Shyness is a wall and it is very useful because it protects from the hostile world that surrounds us.

However, the wall does not let you touch, see, smell and experience that world.

We miss it.

Now, these are words and you may understand what I mean, but they don't do much good.

You have to do and jump into the water.

In my youth I did it by signing up for a theater group.

Just rehearsing the play was already a challenge, but when we performed it in the theater with hundreds of people watching, my wall disappeared.

With procedures like this, something that is an impediment can be made to become something malleable and a useful tool.

Cheer up.

 

[Jimmy Ssaz]

Shyness is a wall and it is very useful because it protects from the hostile world that surrounds us.

However, the wall does not let you touch, see, smell and experience that world.

We miss it.

Now, these are words and you may understand what I mean, but they don't do much good.

You have to do and jump into the water.

In my youth I did it by signing up for a theater group.

Just rehearsing the play was already a challenge, but when we performed it in the theater with hundreds of people watching, my wall disappeared.

With procedures like this, something that is an impediment can be made to become something malleable and a useful tool.

Cheer up.

Thank you actually I don't find it hard to be sociable but I am also bored by people who live talking about everyday things and maybe it makes me shy for example to go dancing and it's not because I don't like dancing but because everyone seems to be and see the everyday world there is nothing wrong but it doesn't fit my vision I believe in aliens and and all those things but the people I meet are only of the type soccer game the covid and vaccines like cyborg android robots.
Since I was 6 years old when I went to kindergarten I used to run away, I didn't like school, in high school I also ran away, I didn't study, I thought everything was very bad until I barely finished my studies by force.

 

[Jimmy Ssaz]

For example about shyness, for some of you who have personally met Laura, what did you feel the first time? Did you get nervous or was it all a pleasant atmosphere? What happens is that if you are fond of someone, in this case Laura, who is a person who knows a lot about many things, what is it like to hear her voice and have her look at you? Do you feel something? I mean because in a certain way there is an affection or gratitude for the work of Cs.

If I saw her I would say wow it's Laura I wouldn't believe it because she is someone you love with your heart.

 

[Jimmy Ssaz]

Guess there's someone else who is shy hehe this was posted today by Taygeta's controversial alien girl (allegedly).